My Tipping Point...

Ben Shephard of ITV's "Tipping Point" ready to hand over all the money Good King Hal won on his visit to the studio.  Blink and you'll miss it...

The week dawned bright and clear again - summer was finally here!  The beginning of the week started with a trip up to Walsall in the midlands for a return visit to Green Rock School.  I had last visited two years ago - I was amazed they had even booked me in the first place as the first time they ever called me I was tremendously rude to them - not on purpose I hasten to add.  They had called me one day when I had been inundated with cold callers on the phone.  You know the sort, usually some poor faceless little twit in a call centre near New Delhi who phones you up and asks you such life changing questions as "have you ever considered altering your gas tariff?"  Well, I had received a stack of these calls that day, when the phone rang again.  This time on answering the voice at the other end said "Hello, I'm calling from Green Rock..." Assuming this was someone else trying to sell me insurance or a new mobile phone network I did the only thing a true British gentleman could do.  I told them to stick whatever they were offering up their arses and to go forth and multiply, and slammed the phone down.  They phoned back a few moments later and said in quiet scared little voices that they were actually a school and would I be interested in visiting them as Henry VIII.  Ah.  Massive amounts of apologies and humble pie later and I was booked.

Well here I was two years on heading back up to Walsall, that other Eden in the midlands.  We had a cracking day at the school - they were a very lively bunch of kids, but that always tends to make the day for me that much easier.  We had a fun morning with lots of laughs and some very good scores in the Tudor Quiz, before a much welcome break for lunch.  After this the afternoon went like clockwork and we finished with another very impressive jousting tournament with one particular lads team that was head and shoulders above the rest, so it was no surprise when they romped to victory in the final.  This clicked our score over to:

GENTLEMEN 19 - 24 LADIES

All that was left was for me to climb in the car and drive back to Somerset.  As it was the journey back wasn't too bad, for which I was tremendously grateful as I had a hell of a day to look forward to on the Wednesday.

I have often wanted to go on a TV quiz show and see if I could test my general knowledge against others and also to see if I could win some prizes and a bit of dosh.  I had seen the ITV daytime quiz show "Tipping Point" a few times - Ben Shephard asking semi difficult questions to a group of people who then place discs in a coin waterfall machine, the sort you used to play when you were a kid at seaside resorts many years ago, and for each coin you get out the machine you won £50.  And if you were lucky enough you could get right through the show to the finale and a chance to win £10,000 - an amount not to be sniffed at.  I had applied to appear on the show, and a couple of weeks ago I had travelled up to London for an audition, I had now been accepted and so here I was going up to the studios in Wimbledon to record the show for real.  This could be the big time.  I had been contacted by the production company the day before and asked if I could bring my Henry costume with me and wear it on the show.  I was more than happy to - no such thing as bad publicity.  I caught the London train from Crewkerne just after 9am and arrived at Waterloo just before midday.  The TV company had laid on a car for me to help transport me and the enormous suitcase my Henry costume was in to the studios in South Wimbledon.  Upon arrival it turned out I was the last contestant to get there.  The others were Sally, a nice lady from Surrey, Lea, a very bubbly blond lady from Brighton and Oliver a nice young chap from Leeds.  We sat chatting in the green room for a while before we got taken away one by one for a make up session - sadly when they finished I still looked like me.  We were then taken down to the canteen for some lunch.  There are plenty of shows still being produced at these studios, former home to The Bill.  Among the shows they are making there, aside from Tipping Point, they also film Episodes, the BBC comedy with Stephen Mangam, Tamsin Greig and Matt Le Blanc. As we walked into the canteen I immediately noticed Matt LeBlanc.  He didn't recognise me, swine.  After a delicious meal we were then taken down to the main studio and got ready to record the show.  I am not at liberty to reveal who won the show on any public media, which I kind of guess includes this barely read blog, so you'll just have to wait until they broadcast the episode to find out who took home all the dosh.  All I can say is I am still living in a dustbin.

A car picked me and my suitcase up from the studio and took me back to Waterloo.  The driver, a very friendly affable chap from Lithuania, nearly made me choke to death with laughter.  As we were driving through the thronging streets of south London and the myriad of races, creeds and colours you can see, he suddenly said: "You know vots wrong vis zis country - it's full of bloody foreigners..."  Oh irony of ironies.  Bless him.  My train didn't leave until 7.20pm, and was packed to the rafters.  I was crushed up in one corner next to a harrumphing businessman, who wallowed and snorted like a rather over pleased walrus and noisily ate a large packet of Cheddars biscuits, and guzzled a can of cider before burping quietly for a while.  He eventually moved when the carriage thinned out when we got west of Salisbury, and finally exited the train at Tisbury.  Bye! I got home late, about 10pm, and promptly fell into the coma sofa, and inevitably, a coma of my own.

I was due today to appear at Chard School, in the town of Chard just down the road from where I live.  I had agreed to arrive at the school at 8am.  I stirred in bed, lent over to check my clock and was horrified to see that it was already quarter to eight.  ARGH!  Wash, shave, glass of juice and then a quick plummet down the stairs and I was on my way.  I had last been at Chard School back in about 2006, when the head teacher looked remarkably like Scottie from the Star Trek series.  His dilythium crystals obviously cannae take the strain any more as he has retired.  This was one of the most fun days I have had in a school for years.  So many laughs, so many jokes and great knowledge all round.  The joust was amazing, so noisy, and considering there were only seven girls in the group of about 30 children, it was even more amazing that they managed to snatch a comprehensive victory in the final.  Great stuff.  So our score now clicks on to:

GENTLEMEN 19 -25 LADIES

I got home this evening and I now feel more tired than I think many a human being has felt in many a day, so tonight I am going to not bother with any alarm on the clock and just intend to sleep until I turn into Rip van Winkle.  You have been warned.  No early calls tomorrow.  I HAVE reached my Tipping Point.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year (If you like freezing cold weather)....

Good King Hal, letting everyone know just how cold and wet he is feeling at Blenheim Palace during the Summer, so God knows how cold and wet he is feeling now that it is the middle of winter.

I have a lot of catching up to do.  I sometimes wonder where the time goes.  On checking back on this blog it seems I have FOUR shows to catch up on.  How on Earth did that happen?  What have I been doing?  Surely not a passable Ray Milland impression and having a lost weekend?  No, I can't afford that sort of thing and I am sure poor old Ray would feel the same if he was still with us. 

So let's begin, we have to roll the time back to last week when I had just finished the show at Dunster School.  The following morning I was up and about, but thankfully not too early as I was heading back down to The Maynard School in Exeter and they didn't want me to start until 10.30am, which was fine by me.  I do love to come and visit the Maynard, it is a lovely school and the staff are just a delight to be with, particularly Keagh Fry, the main teacher I deal with, who is simply one of the loveliest people you could ever wish to meet.  It was a bigger group than normal for the Maynard - 18 children this time!  It was a good fun day all round with lots of laughs and some fantastic costumes among the ladies.  The jousting was good too, but as the Maynard is an all-girls school, alas I can't add the result from this show to our overall year long score.

I had a day at leisure on the Wednesday and then on the Thursday it was another return visit to a very nice school - Dean Close Prep in Cheltenham.  The drive into Cheltenham is relatively easy - you go past GCHQ and try not to notice it, just in case you are arrested and water boarded, or some such, and then along Lansdown Road, with many grand old buildings to your right, most of which is Dean Close School.  I always look out for the little hall in the middle where I always do my shows.  Last time I had driven through Cheltenham back in the summer (coming back from a Sudeley show) I had been delighted to see everything at Dean Close was as it had ever looked.  So in the early morning watery light, I drove up Lansdown Road and kept an eye out for my hall.  But it had gone - completely.  All that was left was a massive pile of rubble and a few builders and labourers standing round scratching their arses and drinking tea.  Was it something I said?  I finally met up with Jon Harris who books me at the school and it appeared my drama room was being "re-developed" but it might take a couple of years.  So I was in the main building for a change, and we had a great day, some really nice kids and a fun day all round.  Superb lunch of immaculate roast beef, and then after a stocks session in which I almost made an Australian teacher wet himself (you really don't want to know) it was outside for the final joust.  It was a great final and I was delighted to see a very cocksure lads team come completely unstuck and were trounced by the ladies.  Wonderful.  The score clicks remorselessly round to:

GENTLEMEN 7 - 9 LADIES

After Dean Close and a whistle stop weekend back to see my lovely son James in Essex and my gorgeous Shelley in Kent, I was back down to Somerset and all points west for my final two Henry VIII shows for 2012.

Thursday 6th December found me at Redstart School in Chard for a half day with the year 4's under the auspices of the wonderfully named Lisa Organ.  Redstart is a delightful school and the shows I do here are always fun, even if they are half days.  There was talk after the success of this year of going for a full day next year - so watch this space.  It was a fun, mad, loud, laughter filled morning and culminated in another great joust - so much talent this year.  And this time the ladies stormed through for a memorable and well earned victory.  There seems to be no stopping them now.  Our score goes over to:

GENTLEMEN 7 - 10 LADIES

Another win.  Can the gents ever hope to be in the lead?

My final Henry for the year was at the delightfully named Air Balloon Hill Primary School in Bristol.  The early part of the day was not promising it has to be said.  Freezing cold weather, lots of mucky salty spray off the road, tons of traffic and lots of roadworks it seemed.  It took me far longer to get to the school than I intended and I was then horrified to discover that they didn't have a car park, but that was the last of the unpleasantness.  Air Balloon Hill Primary is a SUPERB school with wonderful kids.  It was a biggish group today, about 90+ children from year 5, but they were brilliant!  Their enthusiasm, willingness to laugh and their already formidable Tudor knowledge made for it to be one of the best days of the year.  Thoroughly enjoyable day all round.  The staff were lovely (I had been recommended to the school by a supply teacher there who had seen me at Twerton some two or three years ago) and responded so well to my show that they have already demanded a return visit for next year, which suits me down to the ground.  The joust was deafening and ended with a long overdue win for the Gents.  They pull the score back to:

GENTLEMEN 8 - 10 LADIES

The drive back to Crewkerne was almost as tortuous as the journey up, so I was glad when I finally got home and put my feet up. 

2012 has been one of my busiest years since I started back in 2004, and 2013 is looking even better still.  So to all the people I have worked with throughout the past 12 months, thank you so much for your help, bookings, enthusiasm and laughter, here is to 2013 being the biggest year ever.  And to all fans of Good King Hal and anything Tudor related, stick on a choral version of "In Dulce Jubilo" and boogie round your peasant sacks, and have a deeply wonderful and merry Christmas and a most lovely, peaceful and happy new year.  I am off to stick on a red suit and white beard and shout "ho ho ho" at various terrified children at Leeds Castle for the next two weeks, before Henry VIII strides back into view on January 9th 2013 with a return visit to Blackbrook School in Taunton.  Until then, no snow, please!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Good King Hal and all at Past Presence Ltd.



Redstart

An enormous Tudor edifice. And in the background, you might just be able to see Leeds Castle as well.

And so the dust came to settle after the birthday party weekend. It was quite a come down for me, the whole weekend having been such a success. On the Tuesday night I went back to the Phelips Arms Pub in Montacute for their monthly pub quiz. I had last entered this a couple of months back and our team had steam-rollered the opposition, so I returned feeling quite confident. I was on the same team and Rachel Brewer, her other half Anthony and our mutual friend Sarah Kennedy, among others. We started off well and led from the very first round, but the final round (naming different ropes and sails on a Brig) proved to be our Achilles heel and we lost by just half of one point to finish second. Not good!

I was up relatively early on the Wednesday for my first Henry show for a little while. This was a return visit to Redstart School in Chard, so literally just down the road. It was a morning only with a group of about 60 children, and they were all absolutely brilliant - decked out in fabulous Tudor costumes and full of enthusiasm. The teachers took loads of photos and we finished the half day with a great jousting tournament which culminated in the inevitable victory for the ladies team. Our ongoing year long score now comes to:

GENTLEMEN 12 - 20 LADIES

This is getting a bit one sided lads, so come on!

Tomorrow I drive to Essex for a show on the Friday down in Kent. So watch this space for another blog then. And so back to the mountain of cup cakes left from the party. This surely can't be doing my diet any good. But I will do my best.

Redstart School, Chard

The above picture is either (a) Good King Hal whacking his head on a low roof, or (b) proof that he has a halo. Please send your answer, with a £50 note to: Good King Hal, The South of France Villa Appeal, Knackers Row, Catford, near England.

For all the long distance staggering about I do, occasionally (just occasionally) I get a really local show. So local in fact, that it is the travelling equivalent of opening your front door and simply falling forward onto your face. This was that toppling forward. I first went to Redstart School in Chard about six years ago - then never heard from them until about six months ago. I went and did a Tudor day with them, and here I was much less than a year later being invited back. It's like waiting for a bus. Six years and nothing, then two come along at once.

Redstart is a lovely school. The children were terrific, great fun and in some brilliant little Tudor costumes. All of the staff and the teachers were a delight and couldn't do enough for me, almost to the point of waiting on me hand and foot. I am not complaining, honestly, just ever so slightly embarrassing. It was a year 4 group today and they were at the very beginning ominously quiet, and I wondered if the day was going to be difficult. But they soon warmed up and were a delight to work with. Loads of laughs, some great Tudor knowledge and a nice relaxed air with everyone just enjoying the day.

I had a lovely lunch with my dinner being brought to me in the staff room by a poor lady with a bad back - she was in great pain but insisted on getting the meal for me. Didn't she know I wasn't a real King??? The air was so relaxed and convivial in the staff room that I very nearly drifted off into a peaceful sleep - but just managed to catch myself before I started snoring.

The afternoon was great fun. The kids just loved the stocks session, bless 'em, and then the jousting was an absolute classic. Two very good teams, who could have quite easily won any other school visit I had done, but it was, rather inevitably, the Ladies who romped away for a very good victory. This now makes the score:

GENTLEMEN 10 - 15 LADIES

The boys are beginning to be left behind. This could get very one sided. I am next back on the road tomorrow morning with a first visit to a school in Worcestershire with a visit to Malvern Wells School in....er.... Malvern Wells. An early start.... YAWN.

Manor Court Junior, Chard

Good King Hal (left) yesterday, just before he woke up from the dream. Seen here scratching his arse with a big sword. As you do. And I really do look like this, until I wake up.

It was the final day of a long week today, and another return visit, this time to the wonderful Manor Court School in Chard. The original plan had been that the children from this school would come and visit me at Barrington Court for their Henry day. However, the heating system at the Court house is at present a bit hors du combat as the French would say in a very poorly written way, and the thought of the poor little pupils freezing in the old kitchen, it was decided to swap the day back to Manor Court School itself.

It was good to be back and nice to see all the old familiar faces again, like the lovely Laura Devereaux, the lady who had booked me for the show this year. It was two year 6 classes today, a total of about 55 pupils. The morning was fun, but a little truncated as there was an assembly just before morning break. After tottering down to the new Sainsbury's in Chard for a sandwich it was soon back to the main hall and the Tudor day continued. The afternoon was fairly riotous, but was also curtailed due to another assembly! The jousting was a fabulous event and was won this time by the ladies! Our score now moves to:

GENTLEMEN 7 - 6 LADIES

And so this long week is done. I got back fairly early to Chez Henry in Crewkerne, and promptly fell asleep in my coma chair. I am really looking forward to my weekend off. I am back on show on Monday with another return visit, back to Archbishop Cranmer School in Taunton. Tired, but happy.

Redstart School, Chard

Good King Hal saying "Get orf moy land!" to a group of terrified children. It didn't work at the Monasteries either...

It had been over five years since my previous visit to Redstart School in Chard. I had last visited them in January 2005, so this was my (at the moment) longest gap between visits to any school. It was good to be back! I had no clear memories of the place at all, and as my blog hadn't even started back then I had no notes to go back to even if I wanted to try and jog my memory! Well, I needn't have worried. It was a delightful school with some of the most responsive children I have worked with for a long time. It had the added bonus of only being about 20 minutes up the road in Chard from where I live.

It was just under 60 children today and they were great fun. You could tell it was very nearly the end of the year for them - they positively bristled with energy and excitement! The teachers were lovely as well, very welcoming and chatty, and it really was a pretty perfect day all round! At one point in the morning I did one of my usual tired old jokes that I have been pedalling out for years - and the children and staff laughed AND gave it a round of applause. Now that definitely does not happen every day! The morning did seem to bomb past at a rate of knots and before I knew it, it was time for lunch. A delicious meal of roast chicken was gratefully wolfed down by a hungry King, before it was time to don the robes again and head out for the afternoon session. Well it was a rollicking post lunch session capped off by a highly spirited jousting tournament that was won, inevitably, by a very good ladies team. This being the final school show of the term this makes our final score for the year to be:

GENTLEMEN 24 - 28 LADIES

As suspected, the ladies have romped away with it and won the overall crown for this year. Well done to them, but well done to the lads who pulled it right back in the last few weeks. Thank you Redstart School for a really splendid end to the season!

The Henry School Days at Barrington Court have now had their first proper confirmed booking after the test day the other week. Paulton Junior who I visited a couple of weeks ago have decided to come down to Barrington Court next June for their next Henry experience! Good on them! Any other schools keen on a Tudor Day in a superb Tudor environment, drop me a line!

Manor Court Junior, Chard

Good King Hal, proving once and for all that he needs the dough. (Geddit?)

My annual visit to Manor Court Junior School in Chard is becoming almost as much of a regular thing as the return of the Swallows every summer. With the slight difference that I don't perch on telephone wires or make small houses out of mud, crap and spit and then stick them in the eaves of people's houses only showing myself to come out and hunt for small airborne insects or to have a poo. And mores the pity I say. How exciting life would be!

I love Manor Court as it is such a friendly school. The teachers are just lovely, always friendly, chatty and great fun. We had the added pleasure of a couple of student teachers today who were all of the above and with the added bonus of both being very easy on the eye. Always a plus point with naughty old Henry. The children were all brilliant today as well - terrific fun, easy to handle and very willing to laugh and have a joke. The morning went swimmingly and soon I was heading into town to grab a sandwich. In previous years I had gone to either Somerfield or Bilby's Sandwich bar, but now in 2009 they are both gone. Bilby's went some time ago and is now a Lloyd's Pharmacy. Somerfield has gone and is being replaced by a Sainsburys, but that won't open until October. Therefore I had to trundle into the middle of town until I found a bakers. I bought a "steak Cornish pasty". For "steak" read "tons of chopped potato and about three bits of apparently carbonised meat gristle in a dull brown sludge". Yummy!

After my gastric blow out at lunch it was back for an afternoon of fun, frolics and jousting. A wonderful time was had by all and a brilliantly mad, eccentric ladies team waltzed off with the title and the certificates. Wonderful stuff. This makes our score for this year:

GENTLEMEN 0 - 2 LADIES

Exciting or what? (What?)

Tomorrow (Friday) I am off to Penrith and my old mate Andy Blundell's place to help him celebrate the opening of his new antique furniture showroom. And then onto Disneyland. Good 'ere, innit?

Chard History Group Annual Dinner

Some time ago, a very pleasant sounding gentleman called Don Stepney contacted me from the Chard History Group, to see if I was available or interested at appearing at their annual dinner in May to be their after dinner speaker. I was more than happy to agree and the date has been on my calendar ever since. All of a sudden it crept up on me and it was THE day itself. The event was to take place at the Lordleaze Hotel in Chard, somewhere I am ashamed to admit I have never visited before. It is tucked away, just off the Forton Road, behind a fairly anonymous looking modern housing development. Without signposts to it, or my sat nav, I don't think I would have ever found it.

The evening got off to a less than auspicious start - I was due at the Hotel at 6.45pm, but I didn't actually get there until about 6.50pm. Not much difference you would think. However, Don Stepney had booked a photographer from the Chard and Ilminster Gazette newspaper, and would you believe it the guy had arrived smack on 6.45pm and was now going into apoplectic rage as I wasn't there and he had booked himself another photo call at 7.00pm at Tatworth. So I arrived at the hotel to be immediately confronted by an irate, and extremely elderly photographer. "Oh, you're finally here" he began through ill fitting gummy false teeth. Great, just what I needed. "How longs it gonna take you to get changed, pal?" Pal. I love it. When I told him it would probably take me at least 10 minutes his crumpled old face nearly folded in half with disgust. "10 minutes?" He squealed. "I've got to be in Tatworth at 7pm!" I kindly offered to tie him to the roof rack of my car and take him there, but he didn't accept. "Can't you just stick a hat on or something?" he gummed at me. And so next week, the good readers of the Chard and Ilminster Gazette (both of them) will be treated to a photo of the officers of Chard History Group standing next to a huge ginger man wearing a t-shirt, jeans and for some unexplained reason, a great big Tudor hat. And with that the ancient miserable snapper departed - and everything got better.

The Chard History Group are lovely! They welcomed me very warmly - I was applauded to my seat on the top table and was then treated to a delightful meal. They had tried to go for a Tudor-ish theme, and so we started with brawn, pickle and toast, which was lovely. This was followed by the main course which was a simply irresistible venison casserole, with a puff pastry lid, roast potatoes and broccoli. The venison had been cooked to perfection by the chef and was succulent, tasty and literally melted in the mouth. For dessert they supplied an apple and cinnamon pie with creme anglais. I was stuffed! And I still had to do my talk. I was fortunate enough to go down a storm - the audience really seemed to enjoy themselves and I got lots of congratulations and handshakes at the end. It was a very pleasant evening all round and I cannot begin to recommend the Lordleaze Hotel highly enough for their food and friendliness. And as for the Chard History Group? What can I say? Marvellous lovely people who know how to have a good time. Thank you for a lovely evening folks!

Manor Court School, Chard

Back in 2004, just when Henry was getting going for me, one of the very first schools in Somerset to book me was Manor Court Junior in Duck Lane in Chard. Today I returned for my fifth annual visit. For the very first time the very wonderful Lizzie Reynolds was not about - she was off on a course I believe, but I was Royally well looked after as usual with vast amounts of cups of tea and lots of good company and laughter with the staff.

It was a Year 6 group today - about 65 of them. They were terrific fun, very switched on and, even though they were at the beginnings of their studies when it came to the Tudor era, there was still a great deal of good knowledge among the group.

The morning was truncated somewhat by losing about 45 minutes to a school assembly which then spilled over into the morning tea break. At lunch time I wandered down into Chard, but whereas last year I had gone into Bilby's and seen Wendy for a homemade sandwich, today (as Bilby's in Chard is no longer Bilby's - if you follow) I took to the august portals of Somerfields and bought a couple of sarnies in there. I have to say I was feeling tired what with all the travel and shows I have done this week, so I think I was excused the fact that, whilst basking in the post sandwich haze of the warm and cosy staff room, I nodded off! I hadn't fallen asleep in a staff room since one of my first visits to the Maynard School in Exeter!

The afternoon was great fun and built up steadily to a good climax. Now I know you are eager to know who won the jousting. Well I can tell you. It was the LADIES! Therefore, the score on the 2008/09 Jousting Schools Challenge now stands at:

GENTLEMEN 1 - 1 LADIES

The next installment of this ongoing saga is on Monday when I travel to Yetminster in Dorset and my first ever visit to St Andrew's School there. If you would like to come and meet Henry in the flesh so to speak, I am appearing at Barrington Court tomorrow afternoon between about 12 noon and 4pm. See you there!

A Right Royal Weekend Part 2

The second of my two days at Barrington Court had promised far superior weather to the first, and on the whole it didn't disappoint. It wasn't exactly a blazing sun-fest, but after the drab damp dreary day of Saturday it was a vast improvement. The number of visitors was up too which was good to see. I would like to say a big thank you to the three little girls who turned up in their finest Tudor clothes to come and see me, each one taking on a roll as a famous Tudor lady! I had a Jane Seymour, a Queen Elizabeth and a Katherine Parr!

Both of the talks on the Sunday were packed out which was good to see and gave a wonderful atmostphere. The better weather also allowed me to venture out into the gardens to meet and greet the people as they wandered around Barrington Court's beautiful surroundings. Another big "hello" to the three lovely, but extremely hungover ladies from Bristol, recovering as they were from the rigours of a hen night in Chard the previous evening! The Tudor skittles in the hall went really well too, and I think all the children and their parents who attended seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves.

In the evening, Matthew Applegate, his assistant Simon and myself ventured out for a celebratory beer starting off at The Volunteer Pub in Seavington. However, the barmaid appeared to serve us about as frequently as the return of Hailley's Comet and after just one pint we gave up and ventured over to Shepton Beauchamp and the Duke of York where we had a much better time of it. We had a lot of fun discussing how funny a sit com set in a National Trust property would be. I just don't think anyone would believe it if we put some of Matthew's true stories in the script!

Back to paperwork this morning and the next siting of Henry will be a return visit to Enmore Primary in Bridgwater this coming Friday. Watch this space for more.