Wedding 'Em at Hedingham! Plus Nonsuch Awareness...

Good King Hal and his Mother discussing the current rocketing price of rhubarb in the Yemen.

Ah, a late summer wedding - how nice!  Louise, a fine Tudor Lady who I have walked around some of the best stately homes in Britain with, was getting married to her fiance Jason, with the wedding taking place in the august surrounds of Hedingham Castle, followed by a reception at a lovely hotel in Old Harlow Town.  I drove up to Hedingham from Amanda's house in Basildon, and this time I wasn't chased round Chelmsford by the Police Interceptors team, so there goes my chances of appearing on Channel 5 in the next few months.  It was a scorching hot day on the Saturday and I wasn't sure how I would last in the full Henry gear.  I was joined in being costumed by the Tudor Roses who arrived very shortly after I did.  There was Lady Emma, Lady Erica and Lady Katherine, who seemed fully recovered from her recent visit to Barrington Court.  They were as ever accompanied by the splendid "Lord" Darren Wilkins and his ever present camera.

We were supposed to get changed on the top floor of the keep at Hedingham, but to be honest I wasn't sure my knees could manage to drag me and the enormous costume up that many stairs, so as the Roses disappeared off to their lofty perch, I chickened out and went into the deserted cafe on the 1st floor and got changed in there instead.  We were soon all Tudored-Up and ready for action, and just in time as well as the first guests were already arriving.  We greeted them outside the keep and ushered them up to the cafe where soft drinks were being served.  Some of the Tudor Roses got a little over-excited by the extremely muscular and buff paramedics on duty that day, but I blame the heat personally.  The groom and best man arrived and looked fine in their Tudor costumes, so we positioned ourselves in the main hall on the 2nd floor and awaited the arrival of the bride.  The hall was darkened and lit purely by candle-light and looked stunningly atmospheric.  With everyone seated news filtered up that the bride was here.  I was positioned at the front of the hall and armed with my Tudor recorder as I had been requested to serenade the bride in.  She seemed a bit taken aback by my rendition of the "Hawaii Five-O" theme, but perked up a little when I launched into a growl cornet version of "It Must Be Jelly 'Cause Jam Don't Shake Like That".  Of course I didn't, I had been asked to play "Greensleeves", so I did and it was either bloody awful or lovely as it reduced Louise to tears.  I also played during the signing of the register, and then it was time for photos outside the castle.  Myself and the Tudor Roses then made a run for it as we had to drive the 30+ miles to Harlow and the reception hotel, to be there ready for when the guests arrived.  This involved not getting changed out of the Tudor clothes and driving fully Henry'd up, which garnered me one or two odd looks from other drivers.

The Reception meal was delightful, and there were little gifts for all the Tudor Roses and myself.  I did my announcements for the arrival of the Bride and Groom, and then also did the announcement for the speeches. That was the end of the meal and tables were soon being moved as it was time for the evening dance to begin.  But I had an early start in the morning for an appearance at the Nonsuch Awareness Day near Epsom in Surrey in the morning.  So after getting changed and making my many goodbyes I drove down to Kent and an evening with my lovely Shelley.  Heaven!  Louise and Jason's wedding was really memorable and great fun - I wish them a long and happy marriage!

The King at the Nonsuch Awareness Day with a piece of impressive machinery in his hands.

Shelley very kindly offered to drive me and Sir Owen over to the Nonsuch Awareness Day, which was lovely!  I was going to go into great detail about Nonsuch Palace and it's history, but I would be here all day - the best I can suggest is you click on this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonsuch_Palace and read all about it there!  Better still go out and buy one of XTC's finest albums which is called "Nonsuch" and has a very nice wood carving of the palace on the cover.  Andy Partridge's bank manager will thank you profusely.

I was once more joined by the Tudor Roses, this time Lady Emma and Lady Erica, and the inevitable Lord Wilkins.  We had a fine time walking round the stalls and chatting to the various stall holders.  There was a fine mixture of craftsmen, associations, armed forces, BMX riders and charities there, and in the scorching weather there was a very good turn out - estimates put it at about 2,000 people, which was magnificent.  Shelley, Owen and I took great delight in watching the BMX riders doing their stunts and then laughing like drains when they fell off.  Very childish but tremendous fun. Lady Erica enjoyed herself enormously with the soldiers from the local TA, with their great big transporter - saucy thing.  All in all it was a fun day, a little too warm for my liking, but fun to be with the Roses and a delight to be with my Shelley.  It was also good to see the Tudor Roses showing the historical dancers there how to do it properly.  A big shout out to Leanne Pickard who organised the whole thing and did a fabulous job.  Well done!

Harlow, Goodbye

Good King Hal, suddenly discovering that woodworm can "jump" from stocks to cod-piece in one easy movement.

OK, so on last Wednesday evening, I am in Langport, at LouLou's bar helping out some friends on a pub quiz, which I am delighted to announce that we win. I get home just after 11pm. On Thursday morning I am up at 3am and driving to Essex by 3.30am. Just after 9am I am in Brentwood Community Hospital where my 7-year-old son is being observed and tested about his learning delay. By 11am we are informed that he has autism. For me this is quite a relief as the worst part about any problems with a child of your own is the not knowing what is going on. To finally be able to put a label on it is, I feel, the first positive step in doing something about it and I feel now that this is known he will get all the help and support he needs, as well as his usual quota of love and affection from his Mother and myself. My wife seems to have taken it a lot more on the chin than me, and seemed deeply shell shocked for the rest of the day, but I think she is slowly getting a lid on it.

On the Friday I was up to Harlow and a return visit to that delightful school, Little Parndon. This was, I think, my fifth annual visit and the school just seems to get better and better. As usual, there were some fabulous costumes, lovely kids, excitable ones as well, fantastic teachers and a warm welcome. We had a really good day all in all, for me the only down part being having to take all my props out the car during what can only be described as a monsoon. I was literally soaked to the skin when I had finished. The jousting was very exciting and, sensation of all sensations, led to another win for the gentlemen! What is happening? This now makes the annual score:

GENTLEMEN 15 - 23 LADIES

Glad to see them making a fight of it.

A nice weekend has been had with lots of fun with my son, particularly the way he took over the meal when we took him to Pizza Hut on Saturday. As we walked in the front door he walked up to a waitress and said "table for three, please!" And then later in the meal he all but put his hand up and snapped his fingers for her attention when he wanted a refill of his drink.

Tomorrow (Monday) I am back to another favourite school of mine - Wickford Junior in...er...Wickford. Back to Somerset tomorrow night.

Little Parndon, Harlow

I have had the pleasure of visiting Little Parndon School in Harlow every years since 2005, so this year was my 5th annual visit. It is always a pleasure to visit this school as everyone there is very welcoming and kind, the children are all fun, chatty and intelligent, and the day always seems to be fun and well received.

It was only a small year group this time around, about 40+ children, but all in superb costumes, particularly one little lad who looked like a leprechaun! One of the teachers was a little embarrassed as she had just noticed that her own Tudor costume was somewhat... ahem...immodest, as it was almost completely see-through and gave a very good idea of her underwear selection for the day. She borrowed a pair of football shorts from one of the male teachers to spare her blushes. Mind you, it was a pair of Spurs shorts which I would have thought was embarrassment enough. Another of the ladies in attendance was an absolute spitting image of Billie Piper from her Rose Tyler exploits in Doctor Who. She was chosen by the kids to go in the stocks later - I urged her to run off to the TARDIS as it would be safer.

The jousting was a deafening experience and was won by a very fine Gents team. On finishing I drove over to my parent's house in Mountnessing for what could be one of the last times (they are hopefully on the verge of a long desired move down to Wales) and Amanda and James were there, as was my sister Cathy, her husband Julian, and their dogs Sam and Muffy. I drove home to Somerset after dinner. Today I have been in to see the Doctor again as my Cellulitus is still playing me up. Perhaps it will make me hobble about like a real Henry VIIIth! I am all for authenticity, but this is ridiculous.

Little Parndon, Harlow

It may have been my fourth year of appearing at Little Parndon School in Harlow in Essex, but this Friday was something a bit different! In all my years of being Britain's premiere rotund Tudor monarch, my lovely wife had never actually seen me perform a full school day. She had witnessed talks, walkabouts and other Henry related silliness, but never a full day. So as she was available I asked if she'd like to come along and watch. She seemed very keen.

As ever I was very warmly welcomed to Little Parndon. It really is one of the friendliest schools you could want to meet anywhere. There were about 50 children on the day, some of them in excellent Tudor costumes. The opening talk went really well and the day seemed to fly along at a good pace. The children also seemed to really enjoy the quiz and the coat of arms designing. My wife had laughed like a drain at the correct comedy moments in the morning, so she is still in the will.

I treated my wife to a marvellous lunch (we went to the local chippy for savaloy and chips!) before the afternoon session began. The stocks were as popular as they always are and we were soon into the jousting tournament. I think it would be safe to say that the children this day were not over blessed with jousting skills! The ladies tournament soon descended into farce as neither team seemed to clearly know what they were doing! Quoits, targets and horses seemed to fly around all over the place! The boys were a little better. The final was a lot closer, but again the boys just managed to pip the ladies to clinch the title and walk off with the parchment certificates!

My wife and I were soon back with my little boy, and much later still I was back in Somerset. Our cat was very pleased to see me and had soon demolished most of a tin of Whiskas!

The forthcoming week is panning out as follows: This weekend I am appearing in the Abbotsbury Play down at St Nicholas' Church in Abbotsbury. Monday I have a meeting with Matthew Applegate over at Barrington Court about some future plans. Wednesday I am at Drayton School in Norfolk, and Thursday & Friday I am at Falcon School also in Norfolk. Busy busy!

Trull Primary School

It was a third year running visit to the village of Trull just outside Taunton today. Now, no visit to Trull is complete without the joy of going through a Taunton rush hour. The place is a nightmare, just such a bottleneck. A journey which should only really have taken me about half an hour took far nearer an hour.

But it was good to be back, because Trull is a lovely school. The children had all dressed in some wonderful costumes today, every single one of them! Even the Deputy Head was sporting some very groovy pantaloons and complaining that his football socks were making his calves itch.

Judy Picton had already finished renovating one of my costumes and so that was given an outing today and it received rave reviews from all who saw it.

After a fine morning of some delays but mostly good fun, we had some photos taken over in the churchyard opposite the school before lunch was taken with one of the teachers telling some remarkably dotty stories about her chickens! How could I follow that?

Well the afternoon was equally fun. Some superb stocks fun and then a jousting session to savour with the gents just pipping a good ladies team to the title. A wonderful day and already talk about another return visit next year. It would be my pleasure. Next stop - back to Little Parndon in Harlow.