Chard History Group Annual Dinner

Some time ago, a very pleasant sounding gentleman called Don Stepney contacted me from the Chard History Group, to see if I was available or interested at appearing at their annual dinner in May to be their after dinner speaker. I was more than happy to agree and the date has been on my calendar ever since. All of a sudden it crept up on me and it was THE day itself. The event was to take place at the Lordleaze Hotel in Chard, somewhere I am ashamed to admit I have never visited before. It is tucked away, just off the Forton Road, behind a fairly anonymous looking modern housing development. Without signposts to it, or my sat nav, I don't think I would have ever found it.

The evening got off to a less than auspicious start - I was due at the Hotel at 6.45pm, but I didn't actually get there until about 6.50pm. Not much difference you would think. However, Don Stepney had booked a photographer from the Chard and Ilminster Gazette newspaper, and would you believe it the guy had arrived smack on 6.45pm and was now going into apoplectic rage as I wasn't there and he had booked himself another photo call at 7.00pm at Tatworth. So I arrived at the hotel to be immediately confronted by an irate, and extremely elderly photographer. "Oh, you're finally here" he began through ill fitting gummy false teeth. Great, just what I needed. "How longs it gonna take you to get changed, pal?" Pal. I love it. When I told him it would probably take me at least 10 minutes his crumpled old face nearly folded in half with disgust. "10 minutes?" He squealed. "I've got to be in Tatworth at 7pm!" I kindly offered to tie him to the roof rack of my car and take him there, but he didn't accept. "Can't you just stick a hat on or something?" he gummed at me. And so next week, the good readers of the Chard and Ilminster Gazette (both of them) will be treated to a photo of the officers of Chard History Group standing next to a huge ginger man wearing a t-shirt, jeans and for some unexplained reason, a great big Tudor hat. And with that the ancient miserable snapper departed - and everything got better.

The Chard History Group are lovely! They welcomed me very warmly - I was applauded to my seat on the top table and was then treated to a delightful meal. They had tried to go for a Tudor-ish theme, and so we started with brawn, pickle and toast, which was lovely. This was followed by the main course which was a simply irresistible venison casserole, with a puff pastry lid, roast potatoes and broccoli. The venison had been cooked to perfection by the chef and was succulent, tasty and literally melted in the mouth. For dessert they supplied an apple and cinnamon pie with creme anglais. I was stuffed! And I still had to do my talk. I was fortunate enough to go down a storm - the audience really seemed to enjoy themselves and I got lots of congratulations and handshakes at the end. It was a very pleasant evening all round and I cannot begin to recommend the Lordleaze Hotel highly enough for their food and friendliness. And as for the Chard History Group? What can I say? Marvellous lovely people who know how to have a good time. Thank you for a lovely evening folks!

Balliol Lower School, Kempston, Bedford

My alarm went off at 0400 hours this morning. What does the O stand for? Oh my God, it's early. It was going to be a long drive today up to Kempston near Bedford for a first visit to Balliol Lower School, a new venue for me. The drive was actually quite pleasant as it was before the full heat of the day had awoken and the roads were fairly clear at this early hour. I shot up the A303 and then the A34, before cutting across country and hedging Milton Keynes and then through Buckingham, which seems a delightful little town.

I arrived just before the school opened and so sat in a side road having some breakfast, much to the amazement of an elderly lady taking her dog for a walk. She obviously thought that I was lurking in her side road up to no good as she came past and had a good look at me about four times! The welcome I got at the school was much warmer, and I was informed in great detail by the lady in the office that she had cancelled the fire drill for that day because of me, but if there was a fire alarm it would be for real.

It was a Year 3 group today of about 50-60 children and they were just fantastic! Lively, inquisitive and ready to laugh. They also had some fine Tudor knowledge to share with me. The morning just seemed to shoot by, which is always a good sign that the day went well. I had a lovely lunch of roast beef from the ladies in the kitchens and then it was into the afternoon with all the nice gory bits! The stocks were hilarious and gruesome in equal measure. The joust was a good one too, with the gentlemen winning for a nice change. Balliol Lower was a delightful school to visit and I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did. It would be nice to go back and see them again sometime.

The journey home was a bit more fraught with much more traffic on the road, especially lorry drivers hell bent on overtaking other lorries at approximately 0.1 nano-mile-per-hour faster than each other. Why do they do it? They seem to wait until you are zooming up to overtake them and then just signal and blithely pull out, and trundle along for what seems like an eon before either completing the manouevre or, more commonly, giving up and tucking in behind again.

I got back in time to sit and watch Rangers being comprehensively outplayed by Zenit St Petersburg of Russia in the UEFA Cup Final, played at the lovely home ground of Manchester City, the finest team in the world with that name.

Martock Primary

The last time I visited Martock Primary I had just bought my dear old Honda Accord (see this blog about two years ago!) and we had a really good day, so I was really looking forward to this return visit. I was not to be disappointed.

Some years ago I visited a small school in Axminster in Devon and had possibly the worst cup of tea ever served to me in a school, and I mentioned it in passing in this blog. How this has come to haunt me over the years. I had no idea so many people read this blog! So even today, all these years later, as I arrive at Martock Primary and I start to have a cuppa made for me by the Head Master, he comments on how he had better make me a good one as I come down hard on bad cups of tea! I only did it once - and that was nearly three years ago now! So can I just say here and now, while at Martock Primary I had two cups of tea made for me and they were as ambrosia to the Gods and were GORGEOUS!

It was great to see so many familiar faces amongst the teachers this day and they were all as welcoming and friendly as last time. It was a group of about 90 children today, a mixture of years three and four and they were just brilliant. Bright, sparky and very ready to laugh at all my old rubbish! Even though they had only been studying the Tudors since half term they had loads of good knowledge and were very eager to share this with me. The morning seemed to just shoot past and we had plenty of laughs, particularly my "wrestling" during the Field of the Cloth of Gold with Marcus - he knows who I mean. What a star!

After a very filling lunch of meat balls and pasta it was back to Tudor times for more fun with the stocks and the jousting. As usual the ladies waltzed off with the honours in the grand final, but we still had time for a teacher's race which cranked the volume of the crowd up to even greater heights! It was a pleasure to come to this wonderful and charming school and my only complaint is that they won't need me back for a couple of years, so see you in 2010.

I have had a nice relaxing evening and have a weekend at leisure to look forward to. As the weather is promised to be hot and sunny, I might just pop over to Barrington Court for a wander about tomorrow and then hit Ilchester for a car boot sale on Sunday morning. Come and say hello if you see me. If you catch me at the right time I will sell you something!

Coalway Junior, Coleford

Four years since I was first there, I was back at Coalway Junior in Coleford, Gloucestershire. Four years in a row I have visited this lovely school, and it just seems to get better and better!

The main teacher I was dealing with today was James Barrow, a fiercely proud Cardiff City supporter and so has a lot to shout about this year with their great FA Cup run. I wish I could say the same about Manchester City or Yeovil...

It was a group of about 55 children today and they were wonderful - as they always are at Coalway Junior! Some of them had obviously been very well taught and knew their Tudor history marvellously. It was very nice to be at Coleford for the first time not in rain! My previous three visits before this I am sure absolutely belted down each time!

The drive up was really lovely today in such bright sharp weather. I always love driving through Chepstow - admittedly it can be a bit of a bottleneck, but on a day like today it is hard to beat!

After a lovely roast dinner lunch we were back on for the Tudor crime and punishment trail, but not before I had been treated to a fine display of Tudor dance by one of the classes. The jousting was really closely contested and YET AGAIN the ladies walked off with the title with a quite brilliant display of teamwork. However the finest jouster was the second leg man of the Gents champs who could go professional should he wish - he was THAT good!

And now it is the Easter holidays - and I could do with the rest. See you at Barrington Court on the 19 April.

Birdwell Primary, Long Ashton

Another brand new school for me today - and what a good one it was! Birdwell Primary School is in Long Ashton on the outskirts of Bristol. I didn't even know somewhere like Long Ashton existed, but it seemed like a really nice place. The school was warmly welcoming and the teachers just delightful. The children apparently had no idea that I was coming along as Henry for the day so it was a really nice surprise for them. The morning whipped through nicely while all around us preparations for the lunchtime banquet continued apace!

After the morning session was completed, and a quick question and answer session in the classroom, we then had a break for about 40 minutes before the specially prepared banquet began. All the food for this wonderful event had been prepared and cooked by the parents of the pupils and it was just spectacular! Delcious and pretty much authentic Tudor food served on real home made trenchers. We all ate and enjoyed ourselves, but by the time we had finished enjoying ourselves most of the afternoon had gone! However, there was still time for a spectacular jousting tournament which a quick, but somewhat erratic gentlemen's team triumphed in.

This was a really special lovely school with some fantastic teachers and some great kids. Thanks for such a lovely day - I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

Richmond Avenue Primary School, Shoeburyness

Back to jolly old Essex again! I drove up to my parent's house in Mountnessing on Ash Wednesday and spent a nice evening sitting with my Father and watching Fabio Cappello's first game in charge of the England Football Team. My, how little seemed to have changed!

The following morning though, I was up with the lark and off down to Shoeburyness near Southend-on-Sea for a visit to Richmond Avenue Primary School. I couldn't even remember when I last visited Shoeburyness - must be over 20 years. Whenever I think of Shoeburyness it brings to mind Billy Bragg's immortal song "A13 - Trunk Road to the Sea" with the opening lines "If you should ever go to Shoeburyness..." Anyway, I managed to find the school OK and was warmly welcomed by the staff who were all just wonderful. I set up in a charming little hall and waited for the children to arrive. I had been told they were a lively bunch - and they most certainly were! We had a great morning. They certainly knew their Tudor stuff and took great delight in showing off the knowledge they had already picked up. We had lots of laughs and a good time was seemed to be had by all. We finished the morning session with a question and answer session in a packed class room.

The afternoon was equally fun, with lots of laughs had with the stocks routine. The final jousting session was hilarious. One ladies team thought they had won with only two of their riders home and just stopped! By the time I had realised what they were doing the other team had managed to rush home and win! The ladies eventually went on to win a thrilling and very close grand final. I can honestly say this was one of the nicest schools I have visited in a long time and I really hope they will consider having me back again next year. Thank you all for a wonderful day.

Caister Middle School, Norfolk

A third return visit in three years beckoned for me at the lovely Caister Middle School, in Caister, Norfolk. I drove up to Essex on the 29th January and had a relatively easy trip aside from being stopped by the Police on the M3 and asked if the Peugeot was my car or not! Luckily I could prove it was!

I had a nice evening with my parents and was even treated to a glass or two of Gevry Chambertin by my father - very nice!

The following morning I was up at 5am and out the door and on my way by 5.40am. The drive up to Caister was quite pleasant and I arrived at the school just before 8am. I parked up and got in and was as ever so warmly welcomed by the staff that it felt I had never been away! I impressed the Head Teacher by wishing him a happy birthday as I remembered on my last visit there was a big party for him. All the teachers looked great in their fabulous costumes, even the ones made from curtains! I was in the big hall as I had been for the previous visits and the children came through, about 100 of them and honestly, some of the costumes were just so good. I had been warned that some of the group was a bit over lively, but they turned out to be a fantastic group. They loved the opening talk and laughed greatly at some of the silly jokes and displayed a remarkably good Tudor knowledge. Before lunch they did a great series of Tudor dances for me. They'd obviously rehearsed long and hard.

After lunch we had some fun with the Tudor crime and punishment section and they all loved the stocks. The final jousting session was a revelation with one of the ladies teams being so good that they just steam-rollered any opposition with a fantastic display of skill and teamwork. I went to leave at the end of the day to find I was boxed in again, just like last year, in the car park. The lady in the office who's car was blocking me in came out and moved the vehicle, but made it fairly clear she wasn't happy about it. Oh dear! Caister is a wonderful school and it was a lovely day all round. Thanks again.

I drove to my parents in Essex, had dinner with them and then headed back down to Somerset. I finally got home about 10.30pm and collapsed, gratefully, into bed. Nice day!

In The Pipeline

Greetings, Peasants! Welcome to 2008! The year ahead looks likely to be a nice busy one. I am back at Leeds Castle for a few jousting events in the summer, plus over the second May bank holiday weekend I am back at Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire. I am making an appearance over a weekend in March down at Abbotsbury in Dorset, plus a weekend at Barrington Court in April.

Schools coming up inlcude Dene Close Prep and Grange Primary, both in Gloucestershire, Beauherne in Canterbury, Kent and St Michael's in Wimborne in Dorset, among many, many others.

I will be back on BBC Radio Somerset within the next couple of weeks (now broadcasting on FM as well as good old MW!) and after my recent publication in The Guardian newspaper I am soon to be immortalised in a periodical of equal gravitas - namely the "Real Life Stories" Magazine. You heard it here first folks.

So a happy new year to all my friends. Here's to a great 2008.

A HENRY NEW YEAR

I would just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped and assisted Good King Hal in the previous year and hope that your support will continue for many years to come.

So, to everyone I know and to anyone who actually reads this blog (you know, you can leave a comment if you want to!) I would like to wish you a very happy, peaceful and prosperous New Year.

All the best for 2008.

Dunster First School

Dunster! Ah, fair Dunster! This is one of my all time favourite schools and it was so nice to be back there for the fourth year running. However, today was to be a little bit different.

I arrived early as for once, Taunton was in a benevolent mood and I managed to sail through the usual bottle-necks. I was greeted as warmly as ever with some lovely kids and the usual wonderful teachers.

The opening morning talk went really well with some of the children laughing so much at some of the jokes that I did wonder if we might see the occasional accident. The floor however remained thankfully free of suspicious puddles.

The other big thing today was that I was due to meet the photographer from The Guardian today who was doing a shoot of me dressed as Father Christmas for a feature for their magazine of the 15th December. He arrived almost spot on noon so instead of my usual lunch break, I was now dressed as Father Christmas and gurning at a camera in a small courtyard in Dunster School! Steve, the photographer, must have shot off about 100+ pictures of me being silly, pensive, jolly, wistful - nearly every conceivable pose you could imagine. We finished off with some nice ones of me in my Henry costume with the Santa robes draped over my shoulders. I will be interested to see how the pics look as they come out.

The afternoon was good with a great joust with a superb gents team just nicking a win from a very creditable ladies team.

Tomorrow I am at Holway Park school in Taunton for a morning visit, and then I am on my way to Kent to begin my residence as Santa at Leeds Castle.

Barrington Court Christmas Walkabout 2

After the strange weather of yesterday I really wasn't quite sure what to expect at Barrington Court today. Again the forecast was not good, something along the lines of typhoons, hurricanes, gales, thunderstorms and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse getting "medieval" in the White Garden. However, it was a pleasingly bright and mild day today, a very brisk wind, but the ever threatening presence of the occasional black cloud to make you think twice about venturing out.

As it was we had a good turn out today. The official figures only showed an increase of about 40 customers today, but it seemed a lot more. We were also treated to a visit by a group of Rainbows (apparently Rainbows are those too young to be Brownies - I didn't know either) and they were great fun, Matthew Applegate and I led them in a session of colouring in and decorating their own Christmas Tree decorations!

There was one fine moment earlier in the day when I was sitting in the Study/Library annexe just off the Buttery. I heard a couple approaching chatting to each other and adopted a suitably dramatic Henry pose. The elderly man entered first, tripping up the step and staggering into the room with all the aplomb of Norman Wisdom at his slapstick best. His equally elderly wife followed in a similar manner. We began chatting and I was transfixed by both of their huge hearing aids they wore. Whilst chatting to the gentleman, he suddenly let off the most ferocious and lengthy fart that has been dealt in my presence for quite a while. Neither of them batted an eyelid as they were both deaf as a post and heard nothing it would seem. I was biting my lip desperately trying not to laugh when the wife finished me off by stating loudly:

"You certainly give this room a lot of atmosphere..." Perhaps I should have opened the window. I rapidly left the room stifling my laughter as I went.

Clevedon tomorrow and a visit to Yeo Moor Junior School.

St Cecillia's, Sutton; Riverview, Gravesend, White Woman Lane, Norwich and an apology...

My long week away continued on the Tuesday morning by a very early start to drive to St Cecillia's Roman Catholic School in Sutton. This was my fourth year at this particular school so I knew what to expect from the journey. All went swimmingly until I got within about five miles of the place and then I just got swamped in wall to wall traffic. The final three miles must have taken me about 30 minutes. But it was worth it as it was a great day! Some fantastic children as usual, lovely friendly teachers and a good fun day all round. After finishing I drove down to my sister's house near Sittingbourne in Kent as the next day I was to be on parade in Gravesend. Cath and I sat and strummed guitars for the evening and had a good time.

If it's Wednesday, it must be Gravesend. Up bright and early and up the M2 to Riverview Junior. This was my third visit back to Riverview and I was looking forward to it as the previous couple of years had been great fun, and I was not to be disappointed. Another warm welcome from the lovely teachers and another group and bouncy excitable children. Fun and games all round and more cheers ringing in my ears at the end of the day. I then had to drive to Leeds Castle after finishing at the school to collect the Father Christmas outfit I am using there next week. I have been interviewed recently for an article in The Guardian newspaper and they are arranging a photo shoot of me and want to do it next Tuesday. On that day I am working back at Dunster School in Somerset, but I am due to meet the photographer there, but I needed the costume. I met up with the lovely Helen Budd at Leeds Castle and she gave me the costume. Lovely to see her again. It was back to my sister's for dinner and then up to Essex to stay with my parents.

Thursday and I am up VERY early and heading up the A12 to Norwich and White Woman Lane Junior School in Sprouston. This was another return visit and it was good to be back. They were a big group and quite challenging at times, but worth it as we had a great day with lots of laughs.

Friday I was due at Nelson Primary in East Ham, but my car had other ideas, and instead decided to have a bit of a breakdown on the A12, which took so long to get put right it totally wrote off any chance I had of making it to Nelson Primary. My abject apologies to the children and teachers I let down.

This weekend I am at Barrington Court for a couple of days of walkabouts and then next week I am in Clevedon on Monday, Dunster on Tuesday and Taunton on Wednesday. Thursday morning I start back at Leeds Castle as Father Christmas.

The Maynard School, Exeter

A third year return for me on Friday to the lovely Maynard School for Girls in Exeter. The last time I had visited, Keagh Fry, the form teacher I work with, was very heavily pregnant - it was nice to see her back to her sylph-like best today!

It was a group of 26 ladies today and I had been requested to start and finish a little later than normal. I was more than happy to agree. The opening talk was fun and we had some laughs with the ladies, all of whom were in fabulous costumes.

At lunch I sat with Keagh and her assistant, Miss Bacon. I was frequently approached by some of the ladies in the school during lunch and asked, in a very conspiratorial kind of way "Are you Henry VIIIth?" to which I would reply "no, I'm his twin brother", which would always get a strange look from the questionner.

The afternoon was great and we had a really fabulous jousting tournament with a couple of "penalty shoot outs" - you will know what I mean if you have seen the jousts!

After finishing at the Maynard I had to drive back to Crewkerne for an appointment with Dr Mike Osborne to have my stitches removed after my operation on my head last week. After a long wait at the surgery I was done. I then treated myself and the family to a Chinese takeaway which was delicious.

After that, my day was still not over as I was over to Clapton and Wayford Village hall for another play reading evening for the Axe Valley Players.

Next week I am off to Swindon on Monday, Sutton on Tuesday, Gravesend on Wednesday, Norwich on Thursday and East Ham on Friday. Another full week!

St Paul's Junior School, Shepton Mallet

A brand new school for me today! I drove up to Shepton Mallet this morning for a visit to St Paul's C of E Junior School, less than a week after my last visit to the town to have surgery! This was a far less stressful visit than last time - in fact it was a total delight from start to finish. The school itself is a remarkable old building and winds it's way around like a sort of demented rabbit warren. I arrived just about 8am and went to front door reception and rang the bell. No reply. I tried again. Still no reply. I gave up and went back to the car. Five minutes later I tried again. Still no reply! I finally tried the door, just in case it was open anyway, but it wasn't. I was about to give up again when the door suddenly opened and I was greeted by a man with a slightly surprised expression on his face.

"Can I help?" He asked. I held my hand out towards him.

"Henry the VIIIth" I announced. He looked blankly at me.

"Pardon?" Oh dear. Perhaps I was at the wrong address.

"Henry the VIIIth? Here for the Tudor day?" His face suddenly broke into a smile.

"Oh I see. Sorry, I thought you were a nutter." He was probably right!

The day itself was wonderful. Some of the loveliest, liveliest children you could ever hope to meet. The teachers and TA's were uniformly kind and pleasant, and the whole day was just wonderful.

I had lunch with some of the kids in the dining hall, which was entertaining to say the least. The afternoon session was a belter if a little rushed at the end as I ran out of time! However, the boys romped to a famous victory in the jousting.

After re-loading the car I was on my way home, pausing in Crewkerne to visit the bank, and then pop in to Bilby's a finally managed to track down Tris to see if he might be interested in taking part in the Tudor weekend at Sudeley Castle next May. He seems keen at the moment, mostly because it was where Liz Hurley got married! I think he has a little something for her.

Milverton Junior School, Somerset

It was a delightful return to Milverton Junior School near Wellington in Somerset today. It is something like 3 years since my previous visit. I kept occasionally bumping into pupils and teachers from this school during my appearances at Somerset County Museum in Taunton over the years, but here I was again!

I arrived very early this morning and it all came back to me! I remembered the layout of the school quite quickly and it was good to see some familiar faces from all those years ago! The children were just brilliant today. They laughed a lot and had a tremendous knowledge of Tudor times. The teachers were so friendly and chatty, it was like I had only been there three weeks ago, not three years!

I drove into the middle of the delightful village of Milverton for my lunch, getting some nice sandwiches from the shop in the middle. Milverton is so beautiful, a real sleeping beauty of a place.

The afternoon was brilliant, so much laughter and fun with the children and a rip roaring joust which, completely against my prediction, was won by the gentlemen! I pottered home, pausing only in Ilminster to see if I could catch up with Tris from Bilby's, but he was over at the Crewkerne branch. And so here I am at home, waiting for the England v Croatia match to kick off tonight...

The Fold School, Hove

My first visit to a school in East Sussex got off to a less than auspicious start. I had been hoping to stay in Sussex with my friends Viv and John, but had failed to get any response from them - until late on the Sunday night announcing they had just arrived back from a weekend in Suffolk. So it was me up at the crack of dawn to drive the 130+ miles to Hove and back in the day!

I was just getting over a strenuous weekend. My parents had been down to stay with us, plus on Friday I had been in hospital for an operation on my head (no, not searching for my brain) and I was still a little sore this Monday morning and with the stitches still in place!

My alarm went off at 4.30am and after a quick clean up I was on my way by 5.20am. It was plain sailing until I got as far as Portsmouth when I got stuck in traffic and crawled most of the rest of the way in horrific weather conditions. I arrived at the school at about 8.15am. I was met by Mr Bartram, fully dressed up in his Tudor finery! The Fold is a tiny school, but absolutely delightful. The children were brilliant and were dressed in some fantastic costumes. The morning seemed to shoot by and by now it was lunch time and the kitchen staff had come up trumps with a proper Tudor banquet! We ate, drank and made merry, well as merry as you can with apple juice!

The afternoon joust was another classic with the ladies strolling to a fairly comfortable win. After dishing out the winners documents and packing my car I was on my way. Luckily the journey home was OK. Fairly heavy traffic but moving most of the time. I got home just after 6pm.

I have tomorrow off, thankfully, however any ideas of a rest have been quashed by my wife announcing that we are going Christmas shopping in Yeovil. Hey ho. My next show is on Thursday in Milverton.

St Martin's Junior School, Weston-super-Mare

Today was a good example of one thing leading to another. I got today's appearance at St Martin's Junior in Weston-super-Mare after my show at the North Somerset Museum back in February. One of the children at the school had seen me, handed one of my leaflets in at the school and here I was almost exactly a month later making this appearance!

It was a really good day today. Nearly 200 children is always going to be challenging, but these kids were brilliant! Full of beans, ready to laugh, ready to enjoy and they also knew when to sit and listen. The morning was partially interrupted by an assembly where the Welsh head teacher wanted to make a few choice comments about the Rugby match between Wales and England this weekend! He seemed very happy indeed...

The morning was good, considering how big some of the groups were with the activity rotation, but this afternoon almost topped the lot! The noise during the final of the jousting was almost unbelievable! They fair blew the roof off the place! In a pulsating finale it was the ladies who just sneaked home (as usual) and took the plaudits. As for me, I packed up and headed home to my lovely wife, my darling little boy and a plate of spaghetti bolognese. You can't ask for much more than that from life.

St Martin's Junior was a delightful school and I would love to visit them again some time. Next Henry? Wednesday at Falcon Middle School in Sprouston near Norwich. See you then.