One Final Barrington Court Wassail

The ideal place to stick South Somerset National Trust
Managers.  I reckon we should have got a Wicker Man...

Barrington Court is a delightful Elizabethan country house in South Somerset, and was the first large property ever purchased by the National Trust.  I first worked there in 2005 when I was asked to host a Tudor Day for Barrington Village School who decided to have the event at Barrington Court, rather than in the cramped surrounds of their sweet little school.  I was welcomed to the property by the Visitor Services Manager, a charming man by the name of Matthew Applegate.  We had a great day and Matthew and I got on like the proverbial house on fire.  He invited me back to be Henry VIII at the property at different times over the years and always it was a delight to appear there.  What I particularly liked about Barrington was the rapport that Matthew had with his staff, both paid and volunteers.  They were a really dedicated group of friendly people prepared to do anything for each other and for the name and reputation of the old building.  There was a pride in what they did.  Barrington was never seen as a prestige venue by the National Trust, most of the local spotlight being pointed directly at Montacute up the road towards Yeovil.  Barrington was run on a shoestring budget, in a sort of mixture of amateur enthusiasm and general goodwill.  And it worked a treat.  Excellent events were staged time and time again.  Various imaginative brilliant exhibitions and live shows, and quite a few Henry shows from me.  Sometimes I would do my shows for the place and there would be some money in the pot for me, but the majority of the time I did free shows for them, because I loved the house so much, and bought into the ideal of the staff and volunteers.  But unfortunately corporate management these days just cannot leave well alone, can they?  Faceless suits are moved into areas of authority, and these short sighted narrow minded "executives" seem hell bent on doing something... anything to desperately try and justify their very existence in the job they are doing.  There is a very old adage - if something ain't broke, why the hell try and fix it?  And this is the case with Barrington.  A particularly unpleasant faceless suit has been parachuted into a position of power and for some reason seemed determined to try and make Matthew Applegate's position untenable.  Goal posts were moved, frequently, structure of the running of the venue changed again, and again, to no discernible improvement.  From an outsiders point of view it almost seemed like they were trying to push Matthew to the very limit of his patience to make him walk away from a job that he was brilliant at, and very popular for doing.  But he is a man of substance and virtue and would never have deserted his staff and volunteers.  So once more, after even more changes of goalposts and targets, the suits-that-be did the final dirty and simply abolished Matthew's position.  So his job has gone, but you also have to consider that he also loses his home (he has a flat on the estate) so the National Trust are also making him and his young family homeless as well.  The reaction from the volunteers is one of silent rage.  Anger that someone so popular with them has been so ruthlessly dispatched in such an unkind, underhand way.  And at Christmas as well.  The spirit of Ebeneezer Scrooge is alive and well and living in the management of the National Trust in South Somerset.  I for one, will never do a free show for these people again.  If they want Henry VIII at their property then they are going to have to pay my full whack.  One of Matthew's finest legacies to this property was the re-introduction of the age old practise of a Wassail - the blessing of the apple trees on the old twelfth night (17th January), amid much carol singing, gun firing, drum banging and scrumpy drinking.  At the very peak of these events, probably about 5 years ago, the evening was magical.  Drumming groups, mummer's plays, musicians, hot food and drinks, and literally hundreds of guests gathering in the orchards of Barrington and joining in the tradition.  The last two Wassails have been smaller, private events, but this one was very special as it would very probably be Matthew's last event at Barrington in his current role.  Invites were sent out to a few people, and Matthew's popularity was very evident in the turn out - probably about 50-60 people gathered round a roaring brazier (as seen in the picture above), big lusty glasses of Barrington cider were drunk, poems were recited, traditional Wassail carols were sung, and we progressed to the apple trees and blessed them with toast, cider, drumming and gunfire, all to help bring forth more wonderful apples for the next harvest.  The only thing to have made it even better was to have had a Wicker Man in the orchard and one or two faceless suits stuffed inside and giving it the full Edward Woodward screaming hysterics as we chucked lit torches at them...  It was nice to see all the old faces from Barrington there, plus Jo and Blue Walshe, late of Shepton Beauchamp Post Office stores and soon to be moving to a well earned retirement in the south of France and even Kate Churchill, formerly Matthew's assistant from a couple of years ago.  THIS, if the management of the National Trust needed it, was ample proof of the popularity of the man they have so ruthlessly stabbed in the back.  He will not be forgotten and they will never be forgiven.  It was a really lovely evening.

Monday the 20th saw me back on the road and being Henry again.  My visit this day was to Blundell's Prep school in Tiverton in Devon for my 10th visit to this lovely school.  I was greeted warmly as usual, but it was a sort of disjointed day starting off in the main hall for the first hour, then shunted off to the pre-prep school hall for the remainder of the morning, then back to the main hall for the afternoon session.  All the kids in the group were dressed in fantastic costumes and were up for a really fun day.  I was in the first throes of a head cold and felt pretty croaky and unwell, but the enthusiasm of the children carried me through the day and it was fun all the way.  We finished the day with a belting jousting tournament that was won, for a change, by the boys.  But it was very close.  Our score moves on to:

GENTLEMEN 11.5 - 15.5 LADIES

So again, the gents make it look a little more respectable.  I got back to Crewkerne, had dinner and flaked out on the sofa in front of the TV.  Another wild evening for me!

The cold remained, as did the sneezing and snot, and two days later I was up bright and early for a drive up to Brent Knoll School, in the village of the same name just off the M5 near Bridgwater.  I was last at this school about five years ago and today it was group of about 70 children and a mixture of years 3, 4, 5 and 6.  They were enthusiastic and loud, which is how I like my groups.  We had a load of laughs and I was treated Royally by the lovely staff of this brilliant school.  One lady from the staff even very kindly walked all the way to the local shop and back to get me some lunch - even treating me to a Belgian bun for afters!  What a lovely lady.  The afternoon session was a bit quieter as years 3 and 4 disappeared off for a swimming lesson, but years 5 and 6 thoroughly enjoyed the stocks and then had a deafening jousting tournament that ended with the inevitable victory for the ladies.

GENTLEMEN 11.5 - 16.5 LADIES

Great stuff.  And so it was just left for me to pack everything away in the car, and head for home, stopping on the way to purchase a much needed bottle of wine.  I had a thoroughly splendid evening watching Manchester United being dumped out of the Capital One Cup Semi Finals by Sunderland on penalties.  If anyone deserves to be recognised in the New Years Honours list for services to sport it should be David Moyes. The joy his crap Man Ure team has brought to all football lovers throughout this land is almost immeasurable.  Arise Sir David - a job well done!

I am off to Essex and then Kent this weekend for my brother in law's 50th birthday party, and then next week my Henry appearances are in Swindon (home of XTC!) and then back to Barry Island in Wales.  I shall then be spending a few days with my folks at their place in Newcastle Emlyn.   I can't wait for the rest and pampering!

Hartland and the Holy Family

Good King Hal clutching Natalie Dormer and very
shortly going blind...

I had been doing a lot of rushing around lately, and when I finally sat down in my office and looked at the up and coming shows I had to do, I was delighted to see that all that was left for the end of this week was a half day at a school in Devon.  I had enquired of the school roughly where in Devon they were, and was delighted again to hear the word "north".  Super, surely they would only be in Axminster or somewhere close by like that.  About 36 hours before I was due to be at the school I decided it would probably be prudent to actually have a butchers at the maps and see where this place was.  Ah.  It wasn't Axminster.  It wasn't Tiverton.  It was a bit further than that.  It was in Hartland, near Bideford - next stop Nova Scotia.  It wasn't a long way, it was a sodding long way.  It was about 100 miles door to door, so I ended up having to leave in the wee small hours and hack off down the M5 and then cut off on the road to, and then past Tiverton and all points west.  It is a lovely road, but by God it's a slow road.  There aren't many passing places and when you're stuck behind a lorry, you are well a truly stuck behind a lorry.  But I got to the school just after 8am and was very warmly welcomed.  The kids were lovely and the teachers charming, and the morning just seemed to zip past.  It was such a pity it was just the morning, just a half day.  We finished just before midday with a rip roaring jousting tournament which was won by a very competent Gents team, which does their annual score the power of good. It now makes it:

GENTLEMEN 6.5 - 7.5 LADIES

As close as it has been for a long long time.

My drive back to Somerset was lovely, through late autumn sunshine, but the early start and excessive driving was starting to get to me and I could feel myself getting dangerously tired.  I am old enough, and wise enough to recognise these warning signs now, and so I pulled off the main road, parked up and had a little snooze in my car - only about half an hour, but it made all the difference and I felt refreshed and ready for action and continued the drive home.

After a very nice weekend of not doing a hell of a lot - OK I went round a few charity shops, but that was the limit of heart racing excitement - I was off on the Sunday evening for a drive back to Essex and a few days with Amanda and James.  As ever it was so nice to see my little boy when I got there, even though he was spark asleep and snoring like a good un on my arrival, but he looked so angelic!  I had the Monday at leisure in the sparkling metropolis of Basildon before getting up relatively early on the Tuesday for a trip to a new school for me again, the delightfully named Holy Family Catholic School in South Benfleet in Essex.  It's funny, I am always slightly wary of going into Catholic schools, simply because of Henry's track record, but I am always rewarded with a warm welcome and usually some fabulous kids.  And today was no different.  Some of the loveliest teachers I have met in a long time, really they could not do enough for me which was very sweet of them.  The kids were great as well, only about 30 of them, but full of beans and much fun.  We had such a good morning, and an equally entertaining afternoon.  The jousting crowd was boosted by all of years 3, 4 and 6 joining the year 5 I was already with, so the hall was packed to the rafters with very excited children.  The first ladies semi final was a scruffy affair, with one team in particular going out of their way to seemingly smash most of my jousting kit to pieces.  But the final was of high quality as ever, and deafeningly loud with such a big crowd, and culminated in a win for the Gents again!

GENTLEMEN 7.5 - 7.5 LADIES

And so we are back where we started.  But well done to the Gents who have fought right back this year and could perhaps take the lead mid year for the first time ever!  Let's see what happens tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow I am off up and early in the wee small hours again for a return visit to Martham Junior School near Great Yarmouth in Norfolk.  So wish me dry conditions, an empty road and pleasant kids - mind you, they're usually brilliant at Martham, so I am hoping that will continue.  Night night!

So, Did I Miss Anything?

And then Kate Winslet turned into an anteater... as you do.

So where has naughty old Good King Hal been this last week or so?  No blog?  Surely not!  Well despite not much Henry-ing going on, I have been a busy boy.  My final Henry appearance before the week of half term was an evening appearance down at Saunton Golf Club near Braunton in Devon.  I had been booked to appear for a Rotary Club.  Now they were a very nice group, especially the chap who had booked me, however he dropped something of a bombshell the week before the show.  It was a black tie event and they expected me to turn up for the dinner in full DJ and bow tie.  Now I don't even own a normal tie, let alone and bow tie and DJ. When I explained this over the phone to the nice man he said "well don't worry, just wear a normal suit".  A suit?  Me?  I used to wear suits and ties when I was working down at Skandia in Southampton, but since I left the "ranks of shuffling graveyard people", to quote early Marillion, I needed a suit and tie about as much as a vegetarian needs a George Foreman Grill.  I considered looking at buying or renting a suit, but most circus tents were unavailable and to be honest there just wasn't enough material in the world to make one.  In the end it was decided (by me) that I would turn up in my usual Worzel Gummidge gear and then slip into my Henry costume for the meal, do my show, then get changed and clear off.  Which is what I did.

The drive down was much further than I expected, but was relatively easy.  I was warmly welcomed by all the Rotarians, got changed and then came out for the meal.  The food itself was lovely and then after several speeches it was me.  Not wishing to blow my own trumpet but I tore them up and went down a storm.  Loads of laughs and even a round of applause for one new gag I threw in about the recent discovery of Richard III's remains in a Leicester car park.  The gag was basically, if someone came into my office and said they'd found a Richard III in the car park I'd say, what do you expect, we are in Leicester after all.  Ba-doom-tish!  A big round of applause at the end and I was off, but with more than twice my agreed fee as they had enjoyed my show so much.  How very nice of them.

On the Saturday I drove to Tidworth in Wiltshire and the Royal Tank Regiment Family day.  I met up with my lovely Shelley, Sir Owen of Leeds Castle, Shelley's mum and my lovely son James who they'd picked up in Kent when Amanda brought him down.  Shelley's eldest son, Jamie is currently serving in the Royal Tank Regiment.  It was a fun day for all the family - tanks to clamber over, weapons to look at, soldiers to chat to and with the added fun for the kids of a roller coaster, dodgem cars, and various side stalls including shooting range and candy floss.  The food plus all this entertainment was completely free and James and Owen had a right old time of it, checking out the impressive vehicles and leaping all over them, then driving the dodgems until I imagine the national grid began to run out of electricity.  At the end of an exhausting day Shelley, Owen and Shelley's Mum headed back to Kent, while James and I struck out down to Somerset.

The following day James and I headed off to Newcastle Emlyn and a visit to my parents.  The weather was nice and my folks were pleased to see us, however for the first day James wasn't too well with a bad stomach, but he soon recovered.  We had some nice days out, including a visit to Aberaeron which is an absolutely delightful little seaside town.  Then on another day we went into Carmarthen and took James to see the movie "Wreck It Ralph" which he absolutely loved.  I then drove James back to Essex, then had a brief stop at Kent to see Shelley before shooting back to Somerset.

I was back on the 23rd for a visit to Bridport to see Justin Currie in concert at the Electric Palace Theatre.  I had bought two tickets in the hope of going along with Shelley, but she couldn't get a baby sitter for Sir Owen and sadly was stuck in Kent.  I had a spare ticket so I offered it to a few friends and ended up visiting the show with my friend Jill Beed who luckily lives about 20 yards from the front door of the Electric Palace. Her husband Mark cooked us a lovely meal before we went, so I was spoilt rotten.  As for the show?  Stunning.  If you ever get a chance to see Justin Currie live - go for it.  His song writing skills are such that he makes it look sickeningly easy and anyone who has ever had a bash at writing songs (myself included) will know just what a tortured experience it can be.  He kept the entire audience spell bound for nearly two hours, just himself and his guitar (and occasionally on piano) and I am already in the queue for the next tour.  Please check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuiy3_hjhkI for a clip from Saturday night of Justin performing "Always the Last to Know" which was brilliant and even brought a tear to the old King's eye.

Back to being Henry now that half term has gone.  Tuesday (my birthday) sees me back at St Mary's School at South Woodham Ferrers in Essex.  Watch this space for more.

Wassail, Snow and Tiverton, in that order...

Good King Hal, as he looks every night in his dreams, scratching his arse with a bloody big sword.  As you do.

The annual Wassail at Barrington Court has undergone something of a change in recent years.  In the past it was open to the public and was quite a big event, with drumming bands, mummers plays and lots of entertainment... and Morris dancers, still you can't have everything.  However, some of the recent evenings have been less than successful, mostly due to dreadful wet weather, but also with the National Trust management showing about as much enthusiasm for promoting the event as your regular vegan shows when offered a tour of a local abattoir.  So this year, Matthew Applegate, the much venerated Visitor Services Manager at Barrington decided to go for a small, intimate, invite only evening, and his plans paid dividends.  The weather on the evening of the 17th was far better than it had been for some years.  It was dry for a start, piercingly cold and the threatened snow was at least six hours away. 

Matthew had set up an area by the garages out the back of Strode House (the Jacobean pile right next to Barrington Court) and there was a brazier blazing away and adding warmth and welcome.  From his own garage Matthew and his lovely wife Sue were serving warm mulled cider, normal cider, apple juice for the kids, and home made cider apple cake, which was made with Matthew's own fair hands and was delicious.  About 30 people had been invited and it was lovely to see such people as Jo and Blue Walshe from Shepton Beauchamp post office, and Paul Jessop and his fiancee, the lovely Marion Lewis both from Barrington Pottery.  We began the evening with me doing a reading of The Gloucestershire Wassail, followed by Matthew's friend, the aptly named Dick who led us in a singing of "Here We Come a-Wassailing" and the "Somerset Wassail" songs.  After this and a fair bit more cider we then processed round to the orchard and gathered under one of the mature apple trees.  Here Dick poured cider over the roots to feed the tree, cider soaked toast was placed in the branches to encourage birds into the tree, and then we all made a load of noise, hollering shouting and whooping, followed by two loud blasts from a shotgun, to help scare away the evil spirits that might ruin the cider harvest.  Wonderfully pagan and great fun.  We then staggered back to the welcome warmth of the brazier.  Matthew, bedecked in his fine slightly grotty looking bowler hat, was by now very merry indeed, and had noticed that the wood supplies for the brazier had grown low, and he was much vexed by this.  He disappeared for a while, before returning with an almost comically long lump of wood in hand, whilst brandishing a huge saw in the other hand.  Several people approached him and suggested with the amount of cider that had been imbibed, that the introduction of very sharp sawing implements might not be the best idea ever hatched.  I left shortly after this, but heard nothing of any lost limbs or fingers.

Sometime over the next few hours, a snow white blanket descended on Somerset and many other south western areas.  I awoke on the Friday morning to find Crewkerne submerged beneath a heavy fall of snow.  Luckily I had no where really to go that weekend, and so I just battened down the hatches and continued to check the wine levels in my drinks cabinet.  They were fine, but getting gradually lower.  Not sure why...

This morning saw me up and out the door bright and early for a trek down to Devon and another annual visit to Blundell's Prep School in Tiverton.  I have always enjoyed my visits to this school, and this year was no different.  The sainted, and wonderfully named Stef Jeffs is long gone, and so to sadly is former Somerset opening batsman Nick Folland, so I can't pick his brains any more about the true horrors of facing Curtley Ambrose on a "bit of a sticky".  Instead I was in the safe hands of the very welcoming Steve Hirst, dressed again as a sort of psychedelic jester.  We had a great day with a lovely group of kids, about 30 of them, all in brilliant costumes.  One young lad was in an executioners costume that his mother had made, and it was of such high quality that many a full time re-enactor would have been proud to wear it.  Well done, Mum!  The morning shot past rapidly amidst much laughs and Tudor nonsense.  After a fine lunch of meat balls and rice, we were back in the hall for a grand joust finale.  This was quiet to begin with, but like a snow ball running down hill, it started to pick up momentum, and by the final it was quite deafening.  The final itself was a one-sided affair, where a much fancied ladies team was trounced by the gents.  This brings our score for the year to:

GENTLEMEN 10 - 13 LADIES

So there IS some hope for the lads after all.

It is another local gig tomorrow with another return visit to a lovely school - Birchfield Junior in Yeovil.  I always look forward to this day as well, so lets hope we have a good one.

Oh, and the picture at the top of this blog - it isn't me at all silly!  I knew that all the way through.  It's actually my identical twin brother.  Handsome devil...

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year (If you like freezing cold weather)....

Good King Hal, letting everyone know just how cold and wet he is feeling at Blenheim Palace during the Summer, so God knows how cold and wet he is feeling now that it is the middle of winter.

I have a lot of catching up to do.  I sometimes wonder where the time goes.  On checking back on this blog it seems I have FOUR shows to catch up on.  How on Earth did that happen?  What have I been doing?  Surely not a passable Ray Milland impression and having a lost weekend?  No, I can't afford that sort of thing and I am sure poor old Ray would feel the same if he was still with us. 

So let's begin, we have to roll the time back to last week when I had just finished the show at Dunster School.  The following morning I was up and about, but thankfully not too early as I was heading back down to The Maynard School in Exeter and they didn't want me to start until 10.30am, which was fine by me.  I do love to come and visit the Maynard, it is a lovely school and the staff are just a delight to be with, particularly Keagh Fry, the main teacher I deal with, who is simply one of the loveliest people you could ever wish to meet.  It was a bigger group than normal for the Maynard - 18 children this time!  It was a good fun day all round with lots of laughs and some fantastic costumes among the ladies.  The jousting was good too, but as the Maynard is an all-girls school, alas I can't add the result from this show to our overall year long score.

I had a day at leisure on the Wednesday and then on the Thursday it was another return visit to a very nice school - Dean Close Prep in Cheltenham.  The drive into Cheltenham is relatively easy - you go past GCHQ and try not to notice it, just in case you are arrested and water boarded, or some such, and then along Lansdown Road, with many grand old buildings to your right, most of which is Dean Close School.  I always look out for the little hall in the middle where I always do my shows.  Last time I had driven through Cheltenham back in the summer (coming back from a Sudeley show) I had been delighted to see everything at Dean Close was as it had ever looked.  So in the early morning watery light, I drove up Lansdown Road and kept an eye out for my hall.  But it had gone - completely.  All that was left was a massive pile of rubble and a few builders and labourers standing round scratching their arses and drinking tea.  Was it something I said?  I finally met up with Jon Harris who books me at the school and it appeared my drama room was being "re-developed" but it might take a couple of years.  So I was in the main building for a change, and we had a great day, some really nice kids and a fun day all round.  Superb lunch of immaculate roast beef, and then after a stocks session in which I almost made an Australian teacher wet himself (you really don't want to know) it was outside for the final joust.  It was a great final and I was delighted to see a very cocksure lads team come completely unstuck and were trounced by the ladies.  Wonderful.  The score clicks remorselessly round to:

GENTLEMEN 7 - 9 LADIES

After Dean Close and a whistle stop weekend back to see my lovely son James in Essex and my gorgeous Shelley in Kent, I was back down to Somerset and all points west for my final two Henry VIII shows for 2012.

Thursday 6th December found me at Redstart School in Chard for a half day with the year 4's under the auspices of the wonderfully named Lisa Organ.  Redstart is a delightful school and the shows I do here are always fun, even if they are half days.  There was talk after the success of this year of going for a full day next year - so watch this space.  It was a fun, mad, loud, laughter filled morning and culminated in another great joust - so much talent this year.  And this time the ladies stormed through for a memorable and well earned victory.  There seems to be no stopping them now.  Our score goes over to:

GENTLEMEN 7 - 10 LADIES

Another win.  Can the gents ever hope to be in the lead?

My final Henry for the year was at the delightfully named Air Balloon Hill Primary School in Bristol.  The early part of the day was not promising it has to be said.  Freezing cold weather, lots of mucky salty spray off the road, tons of traffic and lots of roadworks it seemed.  It took me far longer to get to the school than I intended and I was then horrified to discover that they didn't have a car park, but that was the last of the unpleasantness.  Air Balloon Hill Primary is a SUPERB school with wonderful kids.  It was a biggish group today, about 90+ children from year 5, but they were brilliant!  Their enthusiasm, willingness to laugh and their already formidable Tudor knowledge made for it to be one of the best days of the year.  Thoroughly enjoyable day all round.  The staff were lovely (I had been recommended to the school by a supply teacher there who had seen me at Twerton some two or three years ago) and responded so well to my show that they have already demanded a return visit for next year, which suits me down to the ground.  The joust was deafening and ended with a long overdue win for the Gents.  They pull the score back to:

GENTLEMEN 8 - 10 LADIES

The drive back to Crewkerne was almost as tortuous as the journey up, so I was glad when I finally got home and put my feet up. 

2012 has been one of my busiest years since I started back in 2004, and 2013 is looking even better still.  So to all the people I have worked with throughout the past 12 months, thank you so much for your help, bookings, enthusiasm and laughter, here is to 2013 being the biggest year ever.  And to all fans of Good King Hal and anything Tudor related, stick on a choral version of "In Dulce Jubilo" and boogie round your peasant sacks, and have a deeply wonderful and merry Christmas and a most lovely, peaceful and happy new year.  I am off to stick on a red suit and white beard and shout "ho ho ho" at various terrified children at Leeds Castle for the next two weeks, before Henry VIII strides back into view on January 9th 2013 with a return visit to Blackbrook School in Taunton.  Until then, no snow, please!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Good King Hal and all at Past Presence Ltd.



Here There and Everywhere.

Some of Manchester City's recent signings were a little surprising, but the new first XI seemed to be shaping up well.

Well, my dear old Blog appears to be working again, especially if you're actually able to read this, which I hope you are. So after rattling up and down the A303 and the A12 in Essex and Suffolk, and all points north towards Norwich last week, I was now back down in deepest darkest Devon for yet another return visit to Blundell's Prep School in Tiverton. I had been to this school so many times in the past, but it was different this time - for a start there was no Steff Jeffs. She has departed to pastures new, wearing a Dog collar and saving souls. There was also no Nick Folland as head teacher as he has now moved on. I met the new head teacher on my arrival first thing in the morning. I know I am getting old when head teachers start looking so YOUNG.

Blundells is a lovely school and I was very warmly welcomed by all the staff as ever. It was a nice group of children as well, and we spent the morning first of all in the main hall, before swapping back to the Drama studio for the final part of the morning. Lunch was a delicious chicken curry which was spent chatting to the friendly staff. As this is a private school the day is a little bit lop-sided. The morning doesn't finish until about 1pm, then you are back after lunch at about 2.15pm, and yet I still finish at 3pm! So the afternoon was a very rapid session with the stocks, before finishing off with a great Joust that ended with a thrilling win for a very good ladies team. Our score lurches on inevitably to:

GENTLEMEN 12 - 16 LADIES

I got home on the Monday evening and then went to meet some friends for a drink at the near legendary Dinnington Docks pub, where I was delighted to find that the guest ale for the evening was Adnams Broadside - my old favourite beer from my days at the Hoop Pub in Stock in Essex. Yum!

There was no time to rest on my laurels as first thing on the Tuesday I was driving back up to Essex for a return visit on the Wednesday to Wickford Junior School. It was good to see my lovely son James again, and he is doing so well at school it seems. On the Tuesday night he read me a new book he had, and read it from cover to cover with barely a wrong word. He has come on in leaps and bounds and I am so proud of him. Wednesday found me back at Wickford School, which is again a lovely place to visit and work at. I was welcomed and made to feel very much at home by the wonderful staff of this school, particularly Mike Williams, my main contact there. The children were a delight in this group today. Sparky, funny and very switched on to the whole Tudor thing! The morning just seemed to fly past. Lunch was great fun in the teacher's new improved, larger staff room. Plenty of laughs. The afternoon session was unbelievably loud and finished with another brilliant joust and yet ANOTHER win for the ladies. Boys, this is getting embarrassing now. So the score ticks over to:

GENTLEMEN 12 - 17 LADIES

I had a couple more days in Essex, with my wife and son, and seeing and helping some friends, but today (Saturday) I drove back to Somerset and tried to remember which flat I lived in. It had been a while... This week I am back up at Coalway Junior School in Coleford in Gloucestershire for another return visit to an old and favourite school. Hope the weather holds.

The Maynard

Canadian 400 metre underwater shove ha'penny Olympic quadruple gold medallist, Bruce Moosejaw IV comes thundering into the home straight with only himself to beat. And does it convincingly. Meanwhile society hostess Camilla Parker-Pen demolishes another bottle of Bombay Sapphire, while the sun sinks slowly into a pair of y-fronts. And now here's Carol Kirkwood with the weather... Carol?

I have many reasons for enjoying a trip down to Exeter in Devon and my yearly return visit to The Maynard School For Girls. One is their insistence that I don't have to start my Tudor Day until 10am. This obviously involves me staying in bed longer than normal on the morning of a Henry show, but I am prepared to suffer for my art. Secondly is my ever warm welcome from the delightful staff at this lovely school, particularly from the gorgeous Keagh Fry who now greets me on my arrival like a long lost friend. And thirdly it is always just such a fun place to come and work in. It was the usual smallish group today - about 20 young ladies I suppose, but each and every one of them in wonderful Tudor costumes. I started the show at about 10.35am, and by 12 noon we had finished for lunch -my kind of hours! It was another lovely meal at this school followed by a leisurely lounge in the comfortable staff room with it's legendary squashy sofa - the one that nearly rendered me unconscious about three years ago on a previous visit.

Straight after lunch it was a bit of music and chat from the King followed by a raucous stocks session which finished with the Head of the School being pilloried, swiftly followed by the Head of the Junior School taking another ear bashing. Great stuff. We then moved into the final jousting tournament which was loud and exciting but unfortunately can't be added to our yearly score as this is an all-girls school! But all in all it was another fun, friendly and pleasant visit to this lovely school in Exeter and a delight to see Keagh again. One of the young ladies in the group was called Emily and had the sort of voice that could pierce lead screens and reinforced concrete bunkers at a range of anything up to several and a half miles. She will go far, of that I have no doubt. I drove back home and treated myself to a Chinese take-away and an early night, though not at the same time as it might make the bed sheets a bit greasy. My next Henry outing is on Monday at Edgar Stammers School in Walsall. Thought it might be Warsaw. I'd better check...

Honiton Museum Day

Good King Hal, not sure about his future with current wife Anne Boleyn, keeps a close eye on a possible part-exchange model called Jane Seymour.

No Hever this weekend as all the jousters are heading off to Blenheim Palace for a tournament over there. Jeremy did ring me up and ask me if I'd like to come along and commentate, but I had already committed myself to a weekend and more of looking after my lovely James and taking him down to Wales to see his Nanna and Bapa. Therefore my only Henry booking for this week was a long standing obligation to appear at Honiton's All Hallows Museum for a couple of Henry's Horrid History talks. I was looking forward to this as I had been booked through Russ and Mary Wardell, a lovely couple who I often see down at Barrington Court and thought it would be a fun day. Well, it most certainly was, but it wasn't quite as successful as we hoped it might be.

I drove down to Honiton which is a lovely little town - reminded me a lot of Bridport - and then began the search for the museum. Finally located it and got in. I was stuck in a side room where the local history group normally meets which I could use as a dressing room. Not sure what the local history group gets up to in there at their meetings as all their seemed to be were lots of maps, microfiche and a naked female mannequin model with huge prominent nipples. Ooh er!

I walked outside and spent some time in the High Road as a kind of benevolent Tudor press gang, cajoling people into coming into the museum for the talk. In the end it didn't work very well as we only had less than 10 people, but they all seemed to like it and there were lots of laughs. I changed for lunch and Russ then took me for a meal at a local wine bar, which was delicious, as was the brunette waitress with the tight skirt. In fact, one of the things I liked best about Honiton today was the preponderance of gorgeous ladies! They were everywhere. One young lass I spoke to during my afternoon on the pavement trying to sort out an audience looked just like a young Rachel Weisz! She was on her way home from her first day at a new job in a local coffee bar and was all excited. Bless! The second show didn't take place in the end as we only had two punters - an English ex-pat who lived half the year in Honiton and the other half in California (sounds like a good mix to me) and her excitable young son. So instead I had a little chat with them and played them some tunes on my recorder which actually seemed to delight them!

I went outside after this for a final recce on the High Street, and who was sitting out there on a bench eating an ice cream? Fiona Bruce! Fiona-bloody-Bruce! Fiona-Antiques-Roadshow-BBC-News-Looks-a-bit-saucy-Bruce! I said a hello and asked if she'd like to see inside the museum, but she politely declined. This was proof, if I needed any, that it was time to get changed and head for home. So that is exactly what I did.

Tonight I am off up to Essex to collect my lovely son, and then bring him down to Somerset for a little holiday, and then on to Wales this weekend.

Malvern Wells & Broadclyst

Peter Paul and Mary after an accident with a codpiece and a time machine. The man on the left used to frequently smash custard pies into Chris Tarrant's face. What a great bloke.

Now why is it, when you have to get up early you cannot get to sleep, yet when you have a day off you can't keep your eyes open? This happened to me on Wednesday night - I knew I had to get up pretty early as I had a nearly 2 hour drive to get up to Worcestershire and Malvern Wells for a visit to a school. However, whenever I put my head to the pillow for a snooze my brain would immediately start questioning me as to what the heck it thought I was doing. I was sorely tempted at one point to surrender and succumb to the "coma chair", but in the end that wasn't necessary.

Malvern Wells is a lovely area, pretty houses and delightful countryside. Malvern Wells school is pretty wonderful as well. The teachers are all lovely and friendly, none more so than the very pretty Ella Jones who had booked me. Now you really know when you're getting old when the teachers are closer in age to their pupils than they are to you! Ella was lovely - very friendly and helpful and was absolutely right when she stated how wonderful her class were. They were brilliant, quick witted, and a delight to work with from start to finish. The only problem I had with the school was finding somewhere to get changed! There was a toilet down near the hall where I was working, but it was so small I couldn't even get my suitcase in it, let alone my not inconsiderable bulk. In the end I had to use a kitchen, but it only had a sort of half sized cottage door on it, so I had to make doubly sure no one was around before I started whipping my gear off. The afternoon was brilliant and ended with another thrilling jousting tournament, finally culminating in a long waited for win the for the Gentlemen.

GENTLEMEN 11 - 15 LADIES

That helped the gents score a lot. It has been a long time since I had visited a new school and had such a good time before, but Malvern Wells was a big hit with me! Great stuff. The drive back wasn't too bad either, but I had to be up early the following morning as well - not as early as for the Malvern visit.

Today I was on my way down to Devon and another visit to a new school - Broadclyst Junior School just outside Exeter. They had heard about me from reading about my frequent visits to the Maynard School. The day today was going to be distinctly odd - firstly I wouldn't be in the school as they no longer have a hall at Broadclyst. So instead I found myself setting up in the village hall just round the corner. (And boy, what a village hall! Delightful, gleaming and looking like it has only just been renovated!) Added to which I was doing two completely different groups in the day. In the morning I would be with a combined year 5 & 6 group, while in the afternoon I would have a combined year 2 & 3 group. The morning was with about 120 children, and it was superb! The children were funny, sharp, and just as with it as the Malvern children had been the day before! Wonderful stuff. Loads of laughs and they even videoed a large part of my performance which they are promising to send to me. I'll see if I can upload some of it to this blog or the website. The morning finished with a pulsating tournament that ended with yet another win for the ladies.

GENTLEMEN 11 - 16 LADIES

Just when the gents thought they were getting back into it...

The afternoon session was a bit more of a slog, as (a) I was tired by now and my cold addled throat wasn't very happy about being used again, and (b) being only years 2 & 3 the group were quite immature after the older group of the morning, and consequently were more hard work. But it was still fun and loads of laughs. And just to keep an even keel - the gents won the afternoon jousting!

GENTLEMEN 12 - 16 LADIES

How exciting is this getting? OK, not at all, but I don't care!

I have tomorrow to myself (a real rarity) then I am driving up to Essex on Sunday. I have a couple of days in the south east next week, then back to Somerset for two more days down here.

Blundell's Prep & Curtley Ambrose

Good King Hal singing "I'm puttin' on my top hat. Tyin' up my white tie. Brushin' off my tails!" Unfortunately in the entire song there is no mention of any trousers and consequently he was arrested for indecent exposure.

I was due to visit Blundell's Prep School in Tiverton last Monday, but due to family committments I had to postpone the show for a week. Therefore I was back bright and early on the morning of the 24th. My sat nav has this almost obscene dislike of going the most direct route to some addresses. Blundell's Prep is a prime example. As soon as I come off the M5 at junction 27 she goes beserk, desperately trying to get me to drive down tiny back roads, whereas I know that if I stay on the big main roads I will be there before you know it. I ignored her yesterday and arrived embarrassingly early at this lovely school.

I sat in the staff room sipping tea until my contact arrived - the gloriously named Stef Jeffs. She has been an ever present since I first went to this school about six years ago and it was known at St Aubyn's. Well she might be departing soon as she is contemplating going to theological college - good luck to her, I say, but it won't be the same without her. Similarly on their way out is the head of Blundell's Prep, Nick Folland, former Somerset batsman and a font of cricket knowledge. I chatted with him during the morning break. I asked him who was the most difficult bowler he ever faced - he couldn't name a particular one, but cited, among others Malcolm Marshall, Curtley Ambrose, Michael Holding, Patrick Patterson, Ole Mortensen et al. It made me facing Jim Hawes whilst batting for the Hoop Cricket Club a bit tame to be honest. But Nick has been an ever present again since I began at Blundell's and it really won't be the same without him, but I wish him well at his new position at a school in Chepstow.

The day itself was fun, but hardwork! Being a private school the morning session ran from 9am to 1pm with only a 15 minute break at about 11am. But then conversely, after lunch I had only just over an hour to do before closing down and heading for home. The children were fantastic and laughed a lot at the silly bits, but some of them also showed some brilliantly aquired Tudor knowledge. I also kept jokingly flirting with one of the young TA's, much to her giggling, red faced embarrassment! The final joust was a belter with, yet AGAIN, the ladies storming to an impressive victory. This now makes our score:

GENTLEMEN 9 - 13 LADIES

The ladies are really now starting to pull away again. My next two Tudor shows are in the South East this week, firstly back at Tolleshunt D'Arcy near Maldon in Essex on the 26th, and then at Ware in Hertfordshire on the 27th. This should bring about lots of laughs - where are you? Ware. Yes, where are you? Etc etc. This could rival Abbott and Costello's "Who's On First" routine in the years to come.

But probably not.

Three Days...

"Look at the size of that dibber!" exclaimed Good King Hal. He was immediately arrested.

This was a busy few days for me. It began on Thursday morning when I was due back on Emma Britton's Show on BBC Somerset. I had been due on a couple of weeks back, but there was a change of plan at the last minute and I was postponed for two weeks. I found myself for the first time in a long time being stuck in seriously bad Taunton traffic and actually arrived at the studio about ten minutes late. I was on the panel with Kate from the company Travels on Horseback (www.travelsonhorseback.com), a lovely lady who I had appeared on Emma's programme with before. We had a great discussion and it was also fantastic to know that my Aussie friend from Facebook, Jennie Towan, was listening on the other side of the world - and gloating about the Test Match. (It's only the first test, Jen!)

On the Friday I was off down to Exeter for a return visit to the Maynard School. As like last year they wanted the day to run from 10.30am to 4pm, which was fine by me. I left home giving myself plenty of time to get there - only to first come across a big smash on the A30 on Windwhistle Hill. This held me up for about 20 minutes, then when I finally got to Exeter I found the place virtually gridlocked with Christmas shoppers. I finally arrived at The Maynard approximately 10 minutes before I am due to appear at the start of my show. But as ever at this lovely school, I was warmly welcomed, especially by the lovely Keagh Fry, and was soon changed and ready. As ever it was a small group, 14 ladies this year, but they were very responsive, full of laughs and again in superb costumes. After the morning session, Keagh and I have a very nice lunch (Fish and chips!) and then it's back to the hall for more nonsense. Of course with it being an all girl's school I can't allow the jousting result to go into our year long score, but as you can guess, the ladies won!

Now instead of heading for home, I was now heading off to Dartmoor and an evening with my cousins, Mike and Janet Baker at their lovely home in Manaton. I had last visited them about 15 years ago with my late Grandfather, and had driven down there in bright summer sunshine and daylight. I was now fighting my way out of a yet again gridlocked Exeter, it is pitch dark and it is starting to snow. My sat nav seems to not have even the slightest idea where we are going. So instead of the sensible way of getting to Manaton (down the A38 and then turn off at Bovey Tracy) I now find myself on some tiny unlit track, with snow thick in the fields around me, somewhere near Mortonhampstead. And this seems to go on interminably. Added to which there seems to be absolutely no road signs whatsoever. After what seems like a lifetime of pitch dark single track lanes, with more and more snow falling, suddenly I see a tiny road sign that says "Manaton". Thank God for that! I slithered down this road and find myself by the church in Manaton which I remember parking up by the last time I had visited Mike and Janet all those years ago. But all is still pitch dark and snowy and there is no sign of their house. I finally slide down another hill and see some lights in the darkness, and there is Mike leaning against his front gate smoking one of his roll up cigarettes. As I climb from the car, I am sorely tempted to fall to my knees and kiss the ground, a la Pope John Paul II. I was warmly welcomed into their nice snug home, in which they have just had installed a brand new wood burning stove, which was so nice to sit around. Janet cooked a lovely meal, we drank too much wine and Mike let me have four trenchers (Tudor wooden plates) that he had specially made for me. I stayed overnight and after a nice breakfast I was soon on my way back to Somerset.

There was a fair bit of snow about on the hills of the Dartmoor, but not as much as I expected, but I thought it would thin out as I got closer to home. WRONG! By the time I got to Chard there was thick snow all around. Well, what other type of snow would you expect in Chard? I stopped off at home for a quick sit down and a cough (as Tony Hancock nearly said), I was off and out the door again for another run around at Barrington Court for their annual Mistletoe Fayre. As usual there were the fabulous selection of stalls and vendors of fine foods, drinks and wonderful crafts. It was good to see the Blackdown Babes selling group again, but there was slightly less people around this year than in previous times. This was mostly due to the weather most people assumed, so we are hoping for a better turn out tomorrow. Matthew seemed in good form, but I didn't see much of him.

All this and we are still being hammered by the Aussies in the first test. SIGH. Some things never change...

Blundell's Prep School, Tiverton

Good King Hal and daughter about to suffer from a tremendous pain in the arse.

Ah, dear old Blundell's Prep School in Tiverton. This was my fifth visit to this fine old school and it was a little different today. For the first time dear Steff Jeffs (wonderful name and wonderful lady!) was only with the group briefly in the morning and also for the truncated afternoon session.

The morning drive down the M5 was not exactly pleasant. The weather was awful, a mixture of driving rain, sleet and high winds. Therefore I was very pleased to get to Blundell's and start to get ready. I had a quick chat with the head master, Nick Folland, formerly of Somerset County Cricket Club, and he very kindly invited me to join him in watching some cricket at the county ground in Taunton this summer. I might just have to take him up on that kind offer!

It was a lovely group today - only about 40 children, but in some terrific costumes and all of them bright, sparky and ready to laugh. With it being a private school the timings were all different from state schools, so I ended up doing a large portion of the afternoon session in the morning to fill in time to lunch. And what a lunch it was! A superb beef pie with carrots and mash in a thick juicy gravy - lovely.

For the afternoon I was off over to the pre-prep part of the school and their hall for the stocks and the jousting. The two opening legs of the jousting were pretty run of the mill, but the final was a classic with the gents getting a big early lead, but slowly being pegged back by a dogged ladies team. It finally came down to the last quoit from the quintaine, and it was the Gents who finally stole the victory, much to a loud crowds delight! This now makes the score:

GENTLEMEN 12 - 16 LADIES

How will it all end? You'll have to keep checking back here. Tomorrow I am off back to the delightful Birchfield Junior in Yeovil.

The Maynard School, Exeter

Good King Hal, for some unknown reason, appearing to tickle a sun dial with a sprig of Mistletoe. This is illegal in 48 of the 50 states of North America, but not in Skegness on Fridays.

The Maynard School in Exeter were very good to me. They said I could start the show at 10.30 am rather than my usual 9 am start. This was lovely and meant I got a mini lie-in in the morning. As usual at this popular private girl's school it was a very small group that I was dealing with for the day - only 12 young ladies, with this number dropping to 11 for the afternoon as one had to go off to a theatre rehearsal. I was warmly welcomed by Steve, the head of year, and of course by the lovely Keagh Fry, the year four teacher. Although it was a small group, it was lively, and one or two of the ladies showed some brilliant knowledge of the Tudor era.

Lunch was particularly gorgeous - one of the best school dinners I have had in the past 6 years of being Henry! Keagh and I wandered down to the dining hall and were delighted to find they were serving roast beef, Yorkshire puddings, roast potatoes and horse radish sauce, and it was all cooked to perfection. Delicious.

The afternoon was lively and fun, and we had a short break when a photographer turned up from the local paper, plus a young lady who looks after the school website who also blazed away for plenty of pics. The jousting was fun and of course a ladies team won - but of course without any chaps about the score cannot possibly be added to the yearly round up.

I have just sat and watched delightedly as Manchester City thrashed Arsenal's under 15 team 3-0 in the quarter final of the League Cup. Tomorrow it is off to see my old friend Lizzie Reynolds in her new position as head teacher at Long Sutton school - my first visit there since 2005.

Website Updated!

WOW! Take a look at the website folks! www.goodkinghal.co.uk has been thoroughly "made over" by the very brilliant and talented Liz Bennett from St Albans. I hope you enjoy the new look and the fun games you can now play on line. Your views on the new look would be very gratefully accepted.

Yesterday I was at Broadhembury School in the quaint Devon village of Broadhembury. We had a great day, and the ladies triumphed in the jousting. I have not a clue what the current score is. I will work on that once I get back on line with the internet at my new flat. Thursday I am up at Nelson Primary in East Ham, a place I singularly failed to get to last year due to a broken down car. Fingers crossed for this year!

Cobbaton Combat Museum, Devon

Here we see Matthew Applegate, Visitors Services Manager at Barrington Court, showing utter disdain for Hitler and his entire war machine, by posing in front of a Sherman Tank a good 60 years after the war finished.

It was our "lads day out"! Matthew and I had been planning for a few weeks for a trip to Cobbaton Combat Museum, a privately owned collection of militaria in the Devon countryside, so we could enjoy looking at the tanks, but also so we could have a look at their prices when it came to de-activated weapons and uniforms (all for research into my forthcoming WWII Home Guard shows). I picked up Matthew from Barrington Court at about 11am and we drove down the M5 and turned off at the Tiverton exit. We fairly quickly found the museum, but it was more than definitely lunch by this time and as I had done the driving and paid for the fuel, Matthew offered to buy lunch. I refused his offer of a Pot Noodle and a glass of water and instead we began a hunt for a pub, and what a pub did we find! We drove to the village of Chittlehampton and went into the Bell Inn. If you are down in this area of Devon I can highly recommend it - great food and fabulous beer. I would have been quite happy to stay there all day, but it was time to head back to Cobbaton and the museum.

It was an interesting stroll round the exhibits and they have some marvellous stuff there, but by God do they need a Museum Manager. Most of the exhibits are caked in dust, and we are talking YEARS-WORTH rather than just weeks. Quite a few of the photo exhibits are water or condensation damaged and a major portion of the entire exhibition seems to be cobwebs. Most of the tanks and people carriers seem to be used as storage cupboards as well as exhibits. You also find large swathes of exhibits with absolutely no information on them at all - you just have to guess. Despite me sounding very negative, please understand this museum is well worth a visit - but it could be so much better.

Back to Somerset we tried to stop for a pint somewhere but were just a bit too early for anywhere to be open yet, so it was back to Matthew's flat in Strode House and a cup of tea. Very nice, but a pint would have been better!

This weekend it is up to Essex for an appearance as Henry at Southminster Museum in Southend. See you there.