A Local Gig

This is what I have been waiting for! A local appearance! No silly old driving up to and back again from High Wycombe in a day! Not traipsing over to Kent to see my sister (however nice that is) and then hiking back to Somerset after the show!

The drive over to Long Sutton was lovely - hardly any main roads and virtually no traffic. I arrived at smack on 8am and was immediately given a nice cup of tea. Now that is what I call a welcome. After some confusion as to when and where I had to be out of the hall we began the day. A nice group of about 58 children, most of them good fun, aside from one loud mouthed individual who made it perfectly clear from the moment I began that he wasn't interested in Henry VIIIth one iota. I pressed on and had the rest of them laughing and enjoying themselves as usual. I split the group up after that and the morning progressed - until I got the group with the loud mouth. Believe it or not, he suddenly started showing an interest. Lunch was good fun - I walked down to the local shop in Long Sutton and bought some sandwiches, and then sat in the bright little staff room at the school with the lovely ladies. I was back in the hall ready for the afternoon, but was constantly heckled through the door of the hall by some loud mouth who kept disappearing when I turned round. I went outside - I bet you can't guess who it was? Yes the loud mouthed little git from earlier. I told him that unless he shut up I would chuck him out for the rest of the day, and that included missing the jousting session - always the ultimate threat against any child at my days. He proclaimed his innocence by saying "But I only shouted a bit this morning! And some now!" More than enough for me. As the group came back in for the afternoon session I mentioned right at the start that someone in their group was being a loud mouthed half wit and I wasn't going to accept any more. He though this made him look clever and kept saying "that was me!" and waving. It merely proved he was even more dense than I anticipated. I did the crime and punishment bit, but toned it down a little as there were some year 3's in as well as the 4's. The Tudor school section was fun and the stocks were hilarious. The jousting - I had the ladies up first, demonstrating and then competing and we found our ladies champs. Then it was the boys. I finally, reluctantly picked the loud mouth as I thought it might make him more interested. He feigned slight interest. I am delighted to say his side were thrashed and he never even got a go. Awww! How sad. The grand final ended with the girls thrashing the boys and carrying off the winners certificates. It was so nice to put everything in the van and set off and KNOW I was going to be home by 4pm! The school seemed genuinely thrilled with the day and have requested I return in the future. I would be happy to.

The evening was nice. Sipping a little red wine and watching all the excitement that Grasshoppers Zurich v Middlesbrough can generate. Which is just slightly more than naff all. And so to bed and snoring...