Ferries, New Costumes and Bizarre Questions...

Good King Hal, shamelessly using his blog in yet another attempt to flog off tickets to see Michael Wood (left) give a talk at the Chalke Valley History Festival next Friday (28th June).  You know you want to... Contact the King via his website (www.goodkinghal.co.uk) if you do!

In many of my recent adventures and visits to the Isle of Wight, I seem to have made something of an art form of missing the ferry.  I have slithered to a halt on the dockside at Lymington at various different times of day, to see the backside of the ferry I wanted, steaming happily out into the Solent without me on board.  With another visit to dear old Vectis due, I was determined this was not going to happen again.  I got up disgustingly early, knowing that I had to be at the ferry terminal for the 6.15am sailing over to Yarmouth.  I got ready, half scalded myself on a hastily slurped cup of tea and scuttled off to my car.  I punched in the post code into my sat nav and waited while it worked out how long it would take me to get to the ferry terminal.  It's initial estimated time of arrival was 6.16am.  Bu99er!  I was NOT going to miss another ferry.  So I drove like smoke down to Dorchester, along the Troy Town bypass, hammered past Wimborne with my tyres almost melting and by the time I reached Ringwood I was approaching light speed.  The ETA on my sat nav was now spiralling backwards - this was almost like time travel!  But it seemed that I was going to arrive at the ferry with a good 10 minutes to spare before the sailing at 6.15.  I got a clear run over the final miles and arrived at a worryingly empty looking ferry terminal at 5.59am.  It was only then as I sat on a virtually deserted concourse that I checked my paperwork.  I was actually booked on the 6.45am ferry.  Ah.  So I now had roughly three quarters of an hour to kill while I waited for the official ferry and could have done the whole journey with much less hyperspace and screaming.  Well, we live and learn.

Simple pleasures like just sitting and sleeping in your car as you scoot over the Solent in only about a half hour crossing, are now not allowed.  Due to that scourge of modern society - "health and safety", drivers must vacate their vehicles and then allow themselves to be incarcerated in the moodily lit passenger lounge where Wight Link Ferries spend the entire crossing trying to fleece cash out of you.  They stop just short of letting heavily muscled stevedores give you Chinese burns until you succumb, but it is surely only a matter of time before they introduce this.  I disembarked the ferry and began the pleasant drive across the island to Ryde and a return visit to Haylands Primary.  This was a different Haylands though this time, located as they now are in a brand new purpose built centre.  It is a stunning building, even more impressive inside than it is outside.  We had a great day at the school - a whole load of laughs, and some really nice children in great costumes.  I took great delight in choosing one classroom assistant to be Anne Boleyn in the morning session as she looked like Madonna, circa "Who's That Girl" and gave me a good excuse to crank out some elderly jokes.

After a very nice roast pork lunch it was a rollicking afternoon session.  The children roared with laughter throughout most of the nonsense I peddle out.  We came to a brilliant jousting session which a very good ladies team ran away with in the final. They are virtually unstoppable at the moment.

GENTLEMEN 19 - 26 LADIES

I began the long trek home, managed to catch the correct ferry and got home, clutching a Chinese take away and yawning like a good 'un.  It really was time for an early night.

Wednesday 19th was a day off, but I was off over to see the multi-talented Judy Picton to pick up my newest addition to my costumes.  Judy has created a beautiful black flowing doublet, with garnets and silver fixings.  It looks absolutely wonderful.  Judy is an absolute genius, very modest, but she really shouldn't be.  Her skills are undoubted and if anyone should need a truly gifted seamstress, this is the lady to go and see.  Judy Picton of Martock - you heard it here first folks.

My new costume didn't have long to wait for it's first outing.  I was back at one of my favourite schools today - Paulton Junior near Bristol.   l love this place - you are always guaranteed a very warm welcome from all the teachers and a group of very sparky, chatty, funny kids - and as ever all in fabulous costumes.  And today was no let down, a real bundle of laughs, and one very bizarre question in the "Q&A" section just before lunch.  All the usual questions had come out: "how fat was he?" "did he have pets?" "when was his birthday?" etc., when one little girl put her hand up and asked me very earnestly "Who are you?"  I was a bit taken aback.  "Er... me or Henry?" I enquired.  She looked at me hard for a few seconds and then said "I don't know".  And on that bombshell it was off to lunch - lots of pleasant chats in the staff room with the nice relaxed atmosphere that pervades this lovely school, and then more utter nonsense in the afternoon culminating in a much needed win for the Gents in the jousting.

GENTLEMEN 20 - 26 LADIES

It is seriously closer than it should be.  The ladies have seemed to have held the whip hand since the start of the educational year, but the boys have hung in there.  It was very hot today - not sunny, but very close and muggy, and by the end of our session in the afternoon I was flagging badly.  Never was I more grateful to sling the last of my Henry gear in the back of the car and climb in and turn on the air conditioning.  I drove home, pausing only at Popular Motors in Merriott to replace my shredded windscreen wiper blades which were so awful today that I spent most of the period driving up to Paulton in braille.

Got home this evening and carried on trying to sort out a visit to Ireland in the next couple of weeks, for a much needed holiday.  Finally got my ferry booking sorted out.  Let's hope my arrival at Fishguard for the crossing will be a bit better organised than my recent efforts at Lymington.  But now is no time to rest on any laurels.  I am off out pretty early again tomorrow for a drive up to Cardiff Castle for three days jousting with the Knights of Royal England.  And the weather forecast is not exactly positive.  Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye.

West Pennard and Paulton Junior

Good King Hal, belting out an eye watering version of "Don't Fence Me In" on Tudor Britain's Got Plague on Ye TV1.  Lord Callow of the High Slung Slacks called it staggeringly bad, before being hung drawn and quartered, which gave him a chance for a bit of a re-think.  His brutal execution certainly perked up the music charts.

After the early week visit to Newberries in Hertfordshire, it was nice to be back in Somerset and visiting two of my favourite schools in my home county.  First up was Wednesday and a seventh visit to West Pennard School near Glastonbury.  I first ever went to this school on the invite of Ian Gouge, a wonderfully insane teacher and one of the nicest blokes you could ever meet.  He has since moved up a year and now looks after the year six group, so for the previous few years the year five group I entertain are looked after by Tony Wheat - another absolutely lovely chap. 

The morning drive over to West Pennard was very nice - the situation of the school has to be one of the most idyllic you can imagine.  It is tucked away in a back lane of this lovely little village nestling in next to the beautifully Gothic tower of the village church and it's Westminster Chimes clock.  Once inside the school, the staff room has to have the finest view of any school I visit throughout the country.  It has sliding doors leading out onto a sun trap of a patio area, with views across the fields to the striking silhouette of Glastonbury Tor and the tower of St Michael's at it's peak on the not too distant horizon.  Just magical!

It was a fun group on this day - about 30 children and all very enthusiastic.  A whole barrel of laughs all round and lots of good Tudor knowledge.  We began in the brand new library that they have had built (which had been opened by Michael Eavis of Glastonbury Festival fame!) which was particularly nice as, with it being such a hot day we were in the only large room in the school with air conditioning.  Superb.  Another fine lunch of yet more sausages - you can't escape them this week!  We were then back to the main hall for stocks and jousting.  The tournament was very good - virtually everyone who took part was talented and showed a good natural affinity for it, but as it was it was the Gentlemen who streaked away in the final for a relatively comfortable win.  Our score after West Pennard moves on to:

GENTLEMEN 19 - 27 LADIES

Is the comeback growing in momentum??  Watch this space, or simply scroll down to the bottom of this report for the next result!

Thursday morning was a different weathered beast all together.  Heavy over night rain had subsided and instead I awoke to a murky, misty, almost foggy morning.  I was driving up to almost all the way to Bristol for another return visit to another lovely school - Paulton Junior in.... er.... Paulton.  I was warmly welcomed by the two teachers for the day - new people who hadn't been in with the show before, so it would be nice for them (I hope).  It was a big turn out of over 60 children, all of them in fabulous Tudor costumes.  Well, we had a truly wonderful day, the children began the day a little on the quiet side, but by the time they warmed up it was like trying to stop an express train.  Lunch was a pasta and meatball explosion of taste (and not sausages!) and then we were in the main hall for the stocks and jousting.  What a final we had in the jousting. It was so close - all the teams that took part were good.  But it was almost inevitable that it would be the ladies who claimed the win to keep the distance between them and the boys back to how it was again.  Our score ticks over to:

GENTLEMEN 19 - 28 LADIES

The evening was spent with Matthew Applegate from Barrington Court, where we met up at the Rose and Crown at East Lambrook for a spot of beer, or several.  It was nice to see the pub full and with some atmosphere for a change, rather than the somewhat sombre, morgue like place it can be when certain people are behind the bar....

Right, driving up to Essex now for an overnight stay with my lovely son James, then off to the Guildhall in London tomorrow to hopefully keep the Lord Mayor entertained.

David Tennant, Catherin Tate, Hats, Am Dram, Walkabout and Paulton... and relax.

Good King Hal takes a straight right jab from Jane Seymour on the lawn in front of Leeds Castle. Either that, or he's blowing a raspberry on the back of her hand.

So, I went back to Somerset to pick up the tickets for "Much Ado About Nothing" at the Wyndhams Theatre, starring David Tennant and Catherine Tate. Me forgetting them in the first place was more of a case of "Much Rushing About The Country For Nothing". Anyway, my sister Cathy and myself went up to London on the 7th June to see the play. We were driven up by Cathy's husband, Julian. Now if you have never experienced a car journey with Julian Martin, then you are in for quite a shock. You know those old film clips of astronauts going through rigorous training before blasting off into space, where they get put in the centrifugal accelerator thingy and are then whizzed round at high speed, and we are treated to close ups of their faces contorting with the g-force they're experiencing. Well you can recreate that look and feeling simply by sitting in Julian's Volvo and going on a journey with him. We blasted off from Kent and seemed to arrive at Aldgate East tube station mere nano-seconds later, mind you I did have my eyes closed. The play itself was wonderful - David Tennant has a real presence on stage and is one of those actors that you simply can't take your eyes off him for every scene he is in. Catherine Tate was equally good and not too over the top, as I thought she might be. And she was looking mighty slinky too!

It was back to Somerset on the Wednesday and then in the evening down to Bridport to meet up with Jill Beed who has invited me to take part in the 2nd Annual Bridport Hat Festival in September. I sat in on their planning meeting and it looks like I could be taking part in the opening ceremony on the Friday evening with legendary Country and Western loony Hank Wangford (careful how you say that). Friday evening I was at Barrington Court to see the Barrington Players perform a couple of one act plays. As usual with this am dram group the quality of the performances were 99% excellent. The 1% other was a member of the cast I have seen before, who once again shouted most of the lines he could remember and spent most of the rest of the time looking round for the prompt, but the audience loved it, and it was fun and diverting for the evening.

I was back at Barrington Court the next day for a Henry VIII walkabout in the gardens. It was a relatively quiet, but fun to be back walking around these beautiful gardens. There seemed to be a lot of New Zealanders about this day - strange how you get little pockets of nationalities like this.

On the Monday it was a return visit to Paulton Junior near Bristol. I LOVE this school. It has always been such fun to go there. The kids are fun, bright and really get the whole concept of the show. The teachers are all uniformly lovely, charming, friendly and can't do enough for you. It was as ever at this finest of schools fun, loud, and full of laughter. The afternoon in particular was so raucous and full of laughter as to be one of the loudest ever. In a rip roaring finale the ladies once again triumphed in the jousting which brings the score now to:

GENTLEMEN 23 - 29 LADIES

Only a few shows left now - can the gents close the gap any more? Or are they doomed? Stay tuned.

My Monday wasn't over even then, as I had to drive to Essex that evening for a family funeral. Thankfully all went well and so back to, relative normality. My next two Henry appearances are this Friday with a return visit to Kingsclere School in Berkshire, then on Sunday another walkabout at Barrington Court near Ilminster. Come along and say hello!

Paulton Junior, World Cup Exits and The Emma Britton Show.

Good King Hal about to try the Cambridge Diet. When he's finished that he'll try and eat Oxford.

A hectic few days began with me driving down to Southampton again (I had only just been down to see some old friends from Skandia the previous couple of days) but this time to pick up my parents on their return from their Queen Mary 2 voyage up to the Norwegian fjords. It was a glorious day and we stopped at the Angel Pub in Hinton on the way back for a very nice lunch. I spent the following Saturday not really doing much apart from occasionally opening the window, turning my fan up to full blast and then going "corr" with buckets of sweat falling off me. Now this WAS global warming and it was happening in my front room.

On the Sunday morning I got up extra early and headed over to Ilchester to the car boot fair held over there. I found a few bargains and also found that Greg Stephens, late of United FM in Crewkerne had a stall there, so I had a quick chat with him when I had finished having a potter about. But I was getting myself ready for the afternoon and England's impending match in the World Cup against Germany. Surely we could raise ourselves for this match? Well if you saw the debacles then you'll know we most certainly couldn't. England played like a bunch of pub footballers who had never set eyes on each other before and were deservedly thrashed 4-1 by a far superior German side. When England did get home today there was a nice message waiting for them at Heathrow from David Blaine, the illusionist. He congratulated Wayne Rooney for breaking his world record for doing absolutely nothing in a box for several weeks.

I took my mind off the awful World Cup drubbing by appearing on the delightful Emma Britton's latest "Have Your Say" show on BBC Somerset on Monday morning. I was on with a very pretty young lady called Kathryn who ran a horse riding holiday company in the Quantocks. We had a real laugh and a good show, which you can hear for the next seven days if you go to the BBC Somerset website and click listen again for the Monday morning show. I was on for the first hour.

Tuesday I was back at one of my favourite schools in the south west - Paulton Junior in Paulton, near Bath. This is such a fabulous place to come and do a show - the children are so well behaved, the teachers are very friendly and chatty and the whole atmosphere of the place lifts your heart while you are there. We had a typically fun day, lots of laughs, some great costumes for the children and some very good examples of Tudor knowledge. The afternoon session was particularly insane and entertaining and ended with another desperately close jousting tournament that really did go down to the wire. This time the Gents just stole victory with literally the last half second of the contest. It was incredibly close and very exciting. This now brings our score to:

GENTLEMEN 22 - 27 LADIES

Wonderful.

Tonight I have been to Barrington Court for their annual volunteer's barbecue. There was a wonderful hog roast, some live music from a cool trio and lots of old friends. Not just Matthew Applegate and his lovely wife Sue and children, Hannah and Isobel, but there was the wonderful Rachel Brewer, her nice chap, Anthony, the indefatigable Trotts, and everyone else at this lovely National Trust house that have become such good friends of mine over the years. I am back at Barrington Court tomorrow for the first of our special Henry Days at the Court House with the combined children of Barrington, Ilton and Shepton Beauchamp schools. Should be fun! Watch this space...

Paulton and Newcastle Emlyn!

Tuesday 23rd June saw a return visit for me to Paulton Junior in Paulton on the southern outskirts of Bristol. I had visited this school last year and it had been a belter, and this time was no different - a fabulous day! The children were great, very enthusiastic and loud, and the teachers were as ever friendly and pleasant. It was a warm muggy day with rain falling on my arrival, the sun shone later but it was very close. On finishing I had a great reception from the children (the ladies had won a brilliantly close jousting tournament) and was off and packing the car. I was pretty tired after so many shows in such a short space of time, but my fun was only just beginning!

My parents have been trying to move away from Essex for about the last 2 years. Finally, it would seem, they had achieved their goal. They had lived in the village of Mountnessing since 1965, my Mother had been there since about 1955, but now they had found their dream home for their retirement years in the town of Newcastle Emlyn in Wales, close to where my sister Sue had lived for the previous 10 years. I travelled down to Wales on the Wednesday and we began the move in earnest on the Thursday. It was hard work but very rewarding. The area they have moved to is delightful and their new house is gorgeous. Never in the field of Human removals, have so many boxes been opened by so few people in such a short space of time. Relief was garnered in dinner at the Emlyn Arms on a couple of nights - just delightful. We had our moments of rest as well, including on Saturday driving all the way down to Laugharne to the wonderful Owl and the Pussycat cafe (encountering, of all things, a tractor rally on the way)but when we got there we found it was closed. We ate at the Green Room Cafe instead, which was equally good. Both my sisters were due to come and help out my parents, but Sue has a new "chap" and was somewhat distracted, and my poor sister Cath in Kent was due to come and help but her lovely old dog Sam was taken seriously ill and had sadly, eventually had to be put down. It brought the weekend move to a somewhat muted end. Sam was a lovely dog and a real character. Cathy and Julian loved him very much and he will be sorely missed.

I headed back to Somerset today and will be travelling to the South East tomorrow for a show at Wandsworth on Wednesday and another in Norfolk on Friday. The weather forecast is a little scary looking, but it should be OK.

Paulton Junior - Carmarthen - BBC Somerset

Last Friday, after a dreadfully bad sleep, I was up bright and early for what was to prove to be a long day. The school visit to Paulton, just to the south of Bath and Bristol, was wonderful. Such a superb school! The kids were brilliant, laughing uproariously at most of the gags - one little girl in particular with a booming chuckle was in hysterics for most of the day! The teachers were charming and great fun to be with, and I can honestly say that I haven't enjoyed a school as much as that for a long time. Probably not since the heady days of Ian Gouge at West Pennard - hello Ian! After a belting Joust I was then on my way - but not home. I was heading up to Wales to visit my sister, her husband and my parents who were visiting her for her birthday. We had a really joyous weekend, lots of fun and laughs and probably too much to eat. On the Sunday we had a lovely visit to Laugharne, the home of Dylan Thomas and then had a fine light lunch at the Owl and the Pussycat Restaurant. I drove home at about 6.30pm on the Sunday evening and got back home at about 10pm.

I was up bright and early on the Monday morning as I was off to BBC Somerset for ANOTHER appearance on Jo Phillips' "Morning Jo Show" morning panel. It was great to see Jo again, she was looking as delightful as ever. Emma Britton was missing today, recovering from a Hen Weekend in Bournemouth! It was a great show and one well worth listening to again, which you can do at www.bbc.co.uk/somerset and choose the "Listen Again" feature.

On Thursday this week I am doing some filming for Channel 4 - more info about that on this blog later in the week. Before that I am back for a return visit to Birchfield School in Yeovil on the Wednesday. This is going to be a nice week.