Once More Unto the Travelodge...

You wouldn't believe that two days of this drove a couple of people in a Medway town almost psychotically angry.  But it did!

I was at my parents in Wales from the Tuesday evening until just after lunch on the Sunday.  It sounded like ages when I first arrived.  A near whole week of being spoilt by my lovely parents - how wonderful.  And suddenly... WHOOSH, it was gone.  Where did that go?  In what felt like a blink of an eye my time had gone and I was back on the road again.  I'd had a lovely time with my folks, had dinner with them again up at the wonderful Flat Rock Cafe in the delightfully named Gwber, I'd wandered round various antiques shops to my utmost delight and even gawped at a few Estate Agents windows and some of the lovely houses in the area.  While I was in Wales my sister, down at Cynwyl Elfed, had a nasty surprise when BOTH of her kittens, now a few months old, went missing at the same time.  Not a sign of them was to be found.  My sister was absolutely devastated and there were many tears shed for these poor cats.  But then, on the Sunday, just as I was about to leave Wales, a call came through to my parents from my sister saying one of the cats had turned up, safe and sound.  At least they got one back.  Funnily enough, I have just got off the phone to my sister who has let me have the joyous news that the second kitten has turned up safe and sound - hungry and dusty, so obviously been locked in somewhere, but none the worse for his ordeal.  God, I love a happy ending.

So back to Sunday afternoon and my drive away from my folks.  My next two days were going to be in Hereford and Coleford, neither of them a million miles apart.  I was booked into the inevitable Travelodge, this time just south of Hereford City centre on the A49.  The drive over to there took me through the infamous "Heads of the Valleys" road, usually only ever mentioned on BBC travel news when there has been some horrendous multi-vehicle pile up, with resulting soiled underpants, or when it has been closed due to inclement weather conditions, and more soiled underpants.  The weather wasn't too awful on Sunday afternoon, just sort of bloody miserable - glowering skies, constant though not heavy rain and everything appeared grey damp and horrible.  Finally, snaking up towards Hereford, the countryside opened up into pleasant rolling hills and quaint villages.  I found my Travelodge, this time in the form of a converted barn, would you believe.  I was booked in by a very nervous looking young lady (who only appeared to be about 12 years old) and settled myself in my cell.

The drive to Riverside School in Hereford the next morning wasn't exactly taxing.  I hadn't realised just how close I was to the school - 1.6 miles it turned out in the end!  Riverside is a fabulous school, a really lovely ultra modern site, with some very artistic murals painted for the children throughout the building, showing various fantasy characters from popular children's fiction.  It was a nice group of three year 4 classes today, some of who were a bit more... erm... taxing than others.  But they were sparky, fun, excitable and ready to laugh.  We had a fine morning, but I was starving!  I forgot to get any breakfast in the morning and by midday when we broke for lunch I could have eaten a scabby donkey and chips.  I went to see the dinner ladies and was told in no uncertain terms to come back at 12.45 pm when they'd finished serving the children.  So I sat in the staff room, surrounded by teachers scoffing away on sandwiches, salads, curry's and tried desperately to stop my stomach from sounding too much like Mount Etna just before eruption.  It finally got to 12.45 and I wandered back to the kitchens.  They were washing up and putting everything away.  Any food left?  I asked.  No, was the answer.  Great.  But she could rattle me up a cheese roll.  She could have handed me a dog turd on a stick by this point and I would have eaten it.  The cheese roll was duly scoffed, and I was back to being Henry and still hungry.  The afternoon was great fun and finished with a wonderful jousting tournament in which an incredibly cocky gents team got smashed to smithereens in the final by a very good ladies team.

GENTLEMEN 11.5 - 19.5 LADIES

Too easy!  I loaded up the car and made the short jaunt back to the Travelodge.  Now, next door to the hotel, cheek by jowl so to speak, was a pub/restaurant called the Grafton Inn.  I was still haunted by the cheese roll at lunch and complete lack of breakfast, and so decided to do something about it.  And, boy did I.  I had a lovely meal of calamari and King Prawns with a sweet chili dip, followed by a delicious gammon steak, served with two exquisitely poached eggs.  I washed this down with a very agreeable bottle of Merlot.  It was a very merry, slightly sloshed King Hal who staggered the 50 feet back to his hotel room after that.  I slept very well...

Tuesday found me on my way back to Coleford in the Forest of Dean and a ninth appearance at Coalway Junior School.  Such a lovely school again, it was a delight to be back.   I was warmly welcomed by all the usual faces and the exquisitely named Rhiannon Bunn, teacher of one of the Year 4 groups today.  We had a really fun day all round, I was treated Royally and didn't even have to beg for a cheese roll.  I was given a fantastic tuna baguette with a massive side salad, which went down a treat.  The afternoon galloped past at a rapid rate and finished with another damn fine joust, but this time, just for a change the Gents finally won a race.  Thank God for that.

GENTLEMEN 12.5 - 19.5 LADIES

It is still very one-sided but that does help a little.

I am off to Essex tomorrow to see my lovely little boy, then on Friday I am back at White Woman Lane School in Norwich for another visit there - again probably about my ninth!  Really looking forward to seeing my old friends. I then have a couple of meetings with film maker Doug Boulton and the writer Sarah Morris on Sunday, before heading back to Somerset on the Monday for a get together with the talented Judy Picton, my costume maker in Martock.  I might also fit in some time to see the beautiful Elaine - I can't wait!  Life is pretty good at the moment.  Just wish the weather would improve.

Walking and Talking

Good King Hal, wondering who the hell has photo-shopped Barrington Court out of existence.

Here is a look at the first photo from last week's photo shoot at Barrington Court with the supremely talented Simon Plant.  I think this picture looks stunning and would like to take this opportunity to thank Simon for his talent and skill.  What a guy!

I was back at Barrington Court on the Sunday for the first of my summer afternoon walkabouts at this lovely NT property near Ilminster.  I was delighted to be joined by Emma from the Tudor Roses, dressed as a lovely Katherine Parr, her son's Jonny and Matty as two young princes and the wonderful Darren Wilkins, armed to the teeth as ever with his trusty camera, who followed us around snapping away.  It was a quiet afternoon at the Court but it was nice to meet a greet people from all over the country.  I was so moved that Darren and Emma had chosen to drive all the way from Kent to spend the afternoon with us over at Barrington.  We weren't the only "attractions" there for the day, there was also a choir who were stationed in the main ball room in the house and warbled their way through various numbers including "Pass Time With Good Company" (another PRS cheque in the post for Henry!) and "Swing Low Sweet Chariot".  Their singing was very good and sounded lovely in the court house surroundings.  The sainted Mattew Applegate, long suffering Visitor Services Manager at Barrington Court looked after us superbly and organised some tea and biscuits for everyone in the afternoon.  Well we went down to join the choir for the drinks and were welcomed by them very much the way a North Atlantic Convoy during the second world war would have greeted the sight of a U-Boat.  Noses were looked down, we were at first ignored and then, comments were made about us.  While I was fixing some tea for Emma, Darren and myself, the main conductor was standing behind me with two of her warblers and I quite clearly heard her comment "His costume, do you think he made it out of a sofa?" and they guffawed happily together.  I can honestly say they were one of the unfriendliest coldest bunch of fish seen outside of a north sea trawlers net.  Obviously for reasons of me being a polite and lovely bloke, I would never name which choir this group were.  However they are a choir, they often perform in chambers and they come from a town in south Somerset.  That begins with Y.  And ends in L.  Anyway, after a few turns around the gardens and buildings, we changed back into our civvies and treated ourselves to a drink and some cakes in the fine cafe at the reception area of Barrington.  And then I was on my way back home to Crewkerne while Emma, Darren and the boys faced up to the much longer trek back to Kent.

I was up early this morning for a drive back to Downend just to the north east of Bristol for a return visit to Christ Church Junior School.  I had last appeared here back in 2011, and this time I was booked by a new teacher called Marie Harrison.  It was to be a big group for the day - approximately 150 children from years three and four combined.  Marie was lovely and made me very welcome, but then so did the whole staff and children.  They were a big group, but just a delight to work with!  The morning got off to a slightly delayed start, but it was worth the wait.  The whole morning was great fun and some of the children's costumes were just magnificent.  After a nice lunch break it was back to the hall for a fun session with the stocks before finishing with a deafening joust.  This was finally won by several lengths by a very entertaining and confident Gents team - and about time too!  They romped to a worthy victory.  Finally they can peg the ladies back slightly.  Our score goes to:

GENTLEMEN 13 - 21 LADIES

I had a little fun on the drive back when my sat nav decided to go a bit wibble on me, and I ended up driving up and down the Keynsham by-pass a couple of times for no adequately explained reason.  Still I am sure it gave the locals something to talk about.

Back home I said "HELLO" to a bottle of Merlot and some dinner and then settled down to watch the final episode of Broadchurch.  Not the best of the series by a long way, but it did at least manage to tie up the loose ends of the story in a fairly agreeable way.  Oh and Man Ure won the Premiership.  Now that IS depressing.  A day off tomorrow and then I am off up to Ilmington in Warwickshire for a Henry day at their local school.  So another early start.

Back in the Saddle Again...

Good King Hal, moon walking his way past Leeds Castle in a valiant attempt to impress anyone who might be looking.

2013?  2013?  Weren't we all supposed to be blown to smithereens or something in 2012?   As I sit here in my concrete nuclear fall out shelter eating chunks of "Stormin' Norman's Re-Hydrated Southern Chicken" (Just like Mama used to re-hydrate it!) by the light of my re-chargeable lithium light emitting diode lamp, the quiet gurgle of my waste re-cycling tank my only accompaniment, I can't help feeling a little let down to be honest.  Also, I think I might have over-reacted to the threat our civilisation faced.  Still I am sure my landlord won't be too upset by the small changes I have made to my flat.  For all I know he will be delighted that I have added 3,000 tonnes of gamma ray proof lead sheeting and 6,000 tonnes of pre-stressed concrete roofing.  It all adds to the ambiance of my two bedroom flat.  And the rooftop mounted missile launching system has proved an absolute boon in keeping the grotty pigeons off my window frames, the filthy disease riddled feathery twats.

But seriously folks...  It IS 2013 and it was time for Henry VIII to hit the road again.  January 9th was my first day back in the tights and it was to be a return visit to Blackbrook School in Taunton, a school I had last visited about 4 years ago.  The reason being that on my last visit I was doing the show for a group comprised of years 3, 4 and 5 combined, and it was the same this day as well.  A group of about 130 children in total, and it was great to be back here doing the Tudor Show again.  Blackbrook was a delight - a big group, and a very enthusiastic group.  A lot of enjoyment and some great Tudor knowledge was shown by the pupils and we finished the day with the inevitable loud jousting tournament that a very good ladies team strolled to a comfortable victory.  This brought our score for the current educational year to:

GENTLEMEN 8 - 11 LADIES

So different year, same old result!  The weekend I nipped back briefly to Kent and Essex to spend some time with my lovely Shelley, and also to spend a day in the company of my darling little boy, James who is now unbelievably 10 years old.  Where does the time go?

Monday 14th saw me back to a school I have the delight of visiting every year.  St Paul's Junior is in Shepton Mallet and is a lovely school.  I am always made very welcome and today was no different.  Again it was a big group, about 130 children and they were very excitable and loud.  The morning passed very quickly and I ended it sitting in the dining hall eating some very nice sausages for lunch and chatting to some of the children who were enjoying the day.  Sure enough, with such a big group we had another deafening jousting tournament to finish the day with.  Much enthusiasm and skill was shown by the children and it culminated in yet ANOTHER victory for the ladies.  How do they keep doing it?  Our score clicks over to:

GENTLEMEN 8 - 12 LADIES

The gents are being slowly pulverised.  You sometimes wonder where their next victory is going to come from.

Tuesday 15th was a return visit to one of the schools I only ever get to visit every other year, as I do two year groups combined.  It was to Ashcott School just to the south west of Glastonbury that I was visiting.  It was a crisp clear morning, some vestiges of over night snow were on the roof of my car first thing.  The drive up towards Ashcott was lovely and the sweeping views down across Glastonbury town and the Tor rising majestically in the early morning sunshine was beautiful.  That view of the town and the mysterious looking Tor is still one of my favourite views in the whole of Somerset.  Ashcott School is a delight every time I visit, and this day was the same.  It is only ever a small group, just under 40 children this day, but their lack of numbers are more than made up for by their sheer enthusiasm and noise levels.  Mr Bryar the head teacher was a welcoming figure even if he does look young enough to almost be one of the pupils.  We had a superb day, a lovely shepherds pie lunch and a very close final to the jousting which was finally decided by me having to disqualify the gentleman's team as they just simply stacked up so many little faults and cheats!  So by default it was another win for the ladies.  The score now begins to look a bit ominous for the Gentlemen.  Where is their next win going to come from?

GENTLEMEN 8 - 13 LADIES

The drive home from Ashcott took me through Compton Dundon, a lovely little village that always reminds me of visiting it many years ago on various camping holidays with friends including Kevin Rowley, from Maldon in Essex.  Kevin always used to like one stone built shed you could see from the main road as you drove through Compton Dundon.  This particular shed had a wonderfully undulating roof ridge, where the elderly timbers sagged under the weight of the tiles across it.  As I drove through Compton Dundon after the show yesterday I looked out for this shed as I always do.... but, horror of horrors, it was gone!  Utterly destroyed!  Either by just simply collapsing under the weight of years, or possibly it might have been smashed by someone driving into it.  It was difficult to tell as I drove past.  Poor Kevin, he will miss it terribly I know....

And so, today, Wednesday 16th found me getting up on a very chilly iced up morning for a long drive up to Coalway Junior in Coleford in Gloucestershire.  This is another lovely school (I know I might sound like I am repeating myself here, but I have to be honest, pretty much all the schools I visit are genuinely lovely places) and almost as soon as I arrived I was whisked off to a side class room by some of the teachers I was working with today to be told that they were in the middle of an OFSTED inspection.  It had begun that morning and their first inclination of it taking part was a phone call to the school at 3pm on the previous day.  Well despite OFSTED's presence, we had a fine day.  About 90 children I would estimate and all full of enthusiasm for the Tudors and my presence.  There was much guffawing at some of my gags from the teachers present and a lovely day was had all round.  I hope OFSTED give them the glowing report they deserve, as Coalway Junior is a fabulous school.  The day finished for me and the children with another brain and senses numbing jousting tournament, and for once, and for the first time in 2013, it was great to see the Gents finally wining a tourney!

GENTLEMEN 9 -13 LADIES

Perhaps there is some hope for them after all.  Keep watching folks...

So I am now back in my nuclear fall out shelter, awaiting the Biblical fall of snow we have been promised on the electric wireless thingy.  Well, what was promised to be something like the movie "The Day After To Tomorrow" yesterday, the forecast is now down to little more than some airborne dandruff on Friday.  But we shall see, you never know.  It's a bit like jousting tournaments really - you just never know what you're going to get.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year (If you like freezing cold weather)....

Good King Hal, letting everyone know just how cold and wet he is feeling at Blenheim Palace during the Summer, so God knows how cold and wet he is feeling now that it is the middle of winter.

I have a lot of catching up to do.  I sometimes wonder where the time goes.  On checking back on this blog it seems I have FOUR shows to catch up on.  How on Earth did that happen?  What have I been doing?  Surely not a passable Ray Milland impression and having a lost weekend?  No, I can't afford that sort of thing and I am sure poor old Ray would feel the same if he was still with us. 

So let's begin, we have to roll the time back to last week when I had just finished the show at Dunster School.  The following morning I was up and about, but thankfully not too early as I was heading back down to The Maynard School in Exeter and they didn't want me to start until 10.30am, which was fine by me.  I do love to come and visit the Maynard, it is a lovely school and the staff are just a delight to be with, particularly Keagh Fry, the main teacher I deal with, who is simply one of the loveliest people you could ever wish to meet.  It was a bigger group than normal for the Maynard - 18 children this time!  It was a good fun day all round with lots of laughs and some fantastic costumes among the ladies.  The jousting was good too, but as the Maynard is an all-girls school, alas I can't add the result from this show to our overall year long score.

I had a day at leisure on the Wednesday and then on the Thursday it was another return visit to a very nice school - Dean Close Prep in Cheltenham.  The drive into Cheltenham is relatively easy - you go past GCHQ and try not to notice it, just in case you are arrested and water boarded, or some such, and then along Lansdown Road, with many grand old buildings to your right, most of which is Dean Close School.  I always look out for the little hall in the middle where I always do my shows.  Last time I had driven through Cheltenham back in the summer (coming back from a Sudeley show) I had been delighted to see everything at Dean Close was as it had ever looked.  So in the early morning watery light, I drove up Lansdown Road and kept an eye out for my hall.  But it had gone - completely.  All that was left was a massive pile of rubble and a few builders and labourers standing round scratching their arses and drinking tea.  Was it something I said?  I finally met up with Jon Harris who books me at the school and it appeared my drama room was being "re-developed" but it might take a couple of years.  So I was in the main building for a change, and we had a great day, some really nice kids and a fun day all round.  Superb lunch of immaculate roast beef, and then after a stocks session in which I almost made an Australian teacher wet himself (you really don't want to know) it was outside for the final joust.  It was a great final and I was delighted to see a very cocksure lads team come completely unstuck and were trounced by the ladies.  Wonderful.  The score clicks remorselessly round to:

GENTLEMEN 7 - 9 LADIES

After Dean Close and a whistle stop weekend back to see my lovely son James in Essex and my gorgeous Shelley in Kent, I was back down to Somerset and all points west for my final two Henry VIII shows for 2012.

Thursday 6th December found me at Redstart School in Chard for a half day with the year 4's under the auspices of the wonderfully named Lisa Organ.  Redstart is a delightful school and the shows I do here are always fun, even if they are half days.  There was talk after the success of this year of going for a full day next year - so watch this space.  It was a fun, mad, loud, laughter filled morning and culminated in another great joust - so much talent this year.  And this time the ladies stormed through for a memorable and well earned victory.  There seems to be no stopping them now.  Our score goes over to:

GENTLEMEN 7 - 10 LADIES

Another win.  Can the gents ever hope to be in the lead?

My final Henry for the year was at the delightfully named Air Balloon Hill Primary School in Bristol.  The early part of the day was not promising it has to be said.  Freezing cold weather, lots of mucky salty spray off the road, tons of traffic and lots of roadworks it seemed.  It took me far longer to get to the school than I intended and I was then horrified to discover that they didn't have a car park, but that was the last of the unpleasantness.  Air Balloon Hill Primary is a SUPERB school with wonderful kids.  It was a biggish group today, about 90+ children from year 5, but they were brilliant!  Their enthusiasm, willingness to laugh and their already formidable Tudor knowledge made for it to be one of the best days of the year.  Thoroughly enjoyable day all round.  The staff were lovely (I had been recommended to the school by a supply teacher there who had seen me at Twerton some two or three years ago) and responded so well to my show that they have already demanded a return visit for next year, which suits me down to the ground.  The joust was deafening and ended with a long overdue win for the Gents.  They pull the score back to:

GENTLEMEN 8 - 10 LADIES

The drive back to Crewkerne was almost as tortuous as the journey up, so I was glad when I finally got home and put my feet up. 

2012 has been one of my busiest years since I started back in 2004, and 2013 is looking even better still.  So to all the people I have worked with throughout the past 12 months, thank you so much for your help, bookings, enthusiasm and laughter, here is to 2013 being the biggest year ever.  And to all fans of Good King Hal and anything Tudor related, stick on a choral version of "In Dulce Jubilo" and boogie round your peasant sacks, and have a deeply wonderful and merry Christmas and a most lovely, peaceful and happy new year.  I am off to stick on a red suit and white beard and shout "ho ho ho" at various terrified children at Leeds Castle for the next two weeks, before Henry VIII strides back into view on January 9th 2013 with a return visit to Blackbrook School in Taunton.  Until then, no snow, please!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Good King Hal and all at Past Presence Ltd.



Good King Hal & Son

Good King Hal produces his new improved "Mini-Me" to an astonished World.  Last time he threatened to produce is "Mini-Me" in public he was arrested and charged with intended gross indecency.

And so it was time to head back to Hever Castle first of all, for a joust on the Saturday.  However, this time there were a couple of differences - one, it wasn't raining and the sun was shining (hoorah!) and two, I had my son James with me, dressed as a sort of cross between a Herald and a cheap version of Prince Edward.  I had picked up a costume for James to use from "Dress the Part" - a fancy dress outlet that used to be in the Shereday's Centre in Billericay High Street when I was working there back in the 1980's, but has since moved to much bigger premises at Barleyland's Farm just outside Billericay.  We drove down to Hever from Essex on the Saturday morning and met up with Jeremy Richardson, head honcho of the Knights of Royal England as the jousting arena we normally use at Hever still hadn't recovered from the soaking and pounding it took last week, and a new, temporary arena had been set up the far side of the public car park, next to the lake.

Well, we paraded out for the show, and me feeling proud as punch as I had my son James with me in the show for the first time.  There was another notable difference - no Michelle Coda today.  She and her family were attending a big family event and so her place was taken by the admirable Emma Fuery from The Tudor Roses.  She looked after James wonderfully while I was in the middle of the arena doing my patter with the audience.  As we sat in the Royal Box doing the commentary, James knelt on the floor in front of me, but I had to keep shushing him as he was laughing at the antics of the Knights too much and occasionally forgetting he was very close to an open mic!  It was also nice to see Sir Stephen of Porlock back with the Knights again.  It was a lovely day, topped off in marvellous style by seeing Sir Owen of Leeds Castle again, along with his lovely Mummy, Shelley.

James and I immediately left the castle and then headed down to Somerset.  We had a fun night playing on the Wii console, but it was time for an early night as we had to be up bright and early for a trip to Sudeley Castle and the latest Tudor Fun day.  It was lovely to see Sudeley in the sunshine, we had waited so long to see it that way.  There were two Tudor Roses today - Lady Erica and Lady Rachel, plus the lovely Zarrina and Diane from Tudor Gowns.  James and I were spoilt for lovely ladies to look at!  It was devilishly hot today and the old castle was packed with punters which was lovely to see.  It was good to see the lovely Tudor ladies frolicking in the playground, and Rachel and Erica both had fun on the big slide in their Tudor frocks, and then Erica topped that by going on the zip wire in her full Queen's outfit.  Not a site you see every day!  We wandered and posed for photos for most of the day, but James' two  days in the limelight started catching up with him, and by about 3.30pm he was well and truly done in.  We slipped away from the throng, he got changed, I got changed and then we were on our way.  He slept in the car for a while, but amazingly, one take away curry and some Sponge Bob episodes on the TV and he was virtually bouncing off the walls again. 

A few days at leisure and then I am on at Christchurch Mansion in Ipswich next Thursday and Friday, before heading back to Hever Castle on the Saturday and Sunday, and then Leeds Castle on the Monday.  Come and say hello if you get a chance.  And now........... sleep....!

Sudeley Castle 2 - Soaking in Sudeley.

The Jackson Five as seen in Tudor England.  From the left: Marlon, Tito, Groucho, Harpo and Sneezy.  Ye YMCA in full vigour.  Many thanks to The Tudor Roses for the lending of this picture.

You could tell it was a British Bank Holiday Monday by the Bible black skies and tsunami-like downpour of rain. What better way to experience this day than trudging round the soggy gardens of Sudeley Castle whilst dressed as a big Tudor Jessie.  To sweeten this less than appetising pill I was going to be wandering round with the Tudor Roses again, this time with the addition of Zarrina Bull.

No new name has yet been finalised for the King's new sat nav in the car.  The names Vivienne and Henrietta have been suggested, but more suggestions would be appreciated.  She got her first proper outing on the Monday morning as I drove up the M5 towards Winchcombe and Sudeley Castle.  However, she is going to have to get better at this as she insisted on taking me slap bang through the middle of Cheltenham - not too bad on a rainy early Bank Holiday Monday morning, but could have been a real pain in ye Royal posterior if it was a working day and getting close to rush hour.  I arrived at the Castle to be greeted by the lovely Kim Gibbons again - a charming lady looking a little under the weather this particular morning.  She insisted her ailments were self-inflicted, but I still felt sorry for her.

My morning got off to a bad start.  I arrived at the Castle in pouring rain - not good.  I knew this would soon be followed by the staircase equivalent of scaling the north face of the Eiger, whilst pulling a bloody great big suitcase after you - the room I use to get changed in is right at the top of a very high Castle tower... So to make things easier I decided to ease the weight of my Henry costume case, and before I went in I jettisoned my spare robe, pantaloons, doublet, tunic and anything else I might not need on the day.  Excellent.  I still sounded like a shagged out steam locomotive puffing up the last few steps in the rarefied atmosphere at the top of the tower, but I was happy I had completed my task and I was safe in the knowledge that my car was now parked about half a mile down the track in the staff car park, and safe and sound.  I got the costume out and stripped out of my normal clothes.  Henry shirt on - check.  Tights on - check.  Pantaloons?  Er.....  pantaloons?  I tipped the bag upside down and went all through it - not a sight of any of my pantaloons. Sod it, there was only one thing for it - slip my jeans on over my tights and put some shoes on and slog back DOWN the north face of the Eiger and slosh through the mud the half mile to the staff car park where my car was all safe and sound, but bloody miles away.  Sure enough when I got to the car I had indeed jettisoned both pairs of pantaloons I had with me.  What a complete and utter twit.  So it was back UP the north face of the Eiger and carry on changing.

I am always amazed by the tenacity of the British tourist.  In the pouring rain and howling wind the last place most sane people would want to go would be a cold old Tudor Castle - but came they still did.  Not a massive turn out by any standards, but somewhere in the region of about 400 hardy souls.  One of whom was one of the lovely teachers I had seen at Hugh Sexey Middle School on Friday!  She came with her husband, children and what appeared to be a full set of grandparents as well.  For services above and beyond the call of duty, she receives the Good King Hal Medal of Bravery in the Face of Inclement Weather.  It was fun perambulating the grounds with the Tudor Roses and dear Zarrina - their costumes look so fantastic and they're all such pretty girls. 

We lunched all together in the great hall dining room, surrounded by the tourists in for the day.  The big roaring fire in there was most welcoming.  You simply would not believe it was May outside - it was so cold.  The musical minstrels from our previous trip to Sudeley were not outside in the pouring wind and rain, but were stationed in the minstrel gallery above the restaurant and provided a perfect soundtrack to our lunch.

We were finally released at about 4pm and began our individual slogs home.  The M5 to begin with resembled being inside a car wash on full blast, such was the ferocity of the rain fall, but it eventually cleared up.  I was home by 6.30pm, and getting stuck into a glass of Shiraz by about 6.32pm.  A really lovely day with some really lovely ladies and looking forward to us all re-convening at Sudeley on the 5th June.

Sudeley Castle 1

Good King Hal blowing an enormous raspberry on the back of his Queen's hand. What a charmer.

Four years had passed since my previous appearance at Sudeley Castle. FOUR YEARS! And I get back there yesterday and they STILL haven't finished it. I had been invited back by the very charming and delightful Kim Gibbons who now does all the booking of this sort of thing at Sudeley. The drive up from Somerset to the Cotswolds was going to take just a smidgen under two hours according to my sat nav, so I left home at about 7.30am aiming for a 9.30am arrival at the castle, for a 10.30am start. I would be working with The Tudor Roses, previously seen at Leeds Castle last year, and also Diane Collings also late of Leeds Castle, Hever Castle, Barrington Court, and the photo above.

It was a brilliantly bright clear morning as I left Crewkerne - dazzling spring sunshine and a Canaletto blue sky. Something that always surprises me when I work at Sudeley Castle is the almost complete lack of any road signs indicating it's existence outside of the small town it's in (Winchcombe). When you go to the area around Leeds Castle and Hever Castle you are left in little doubt as to the location of these charming sites. But Sudeley seems almost to hide itself on purpose, which is a real shame as it is delightful and in the most charming typical Cotswold countryside of rolling hills and quaint views. It's amazing Liz Hurley found it for her wedding.

I was greeted by Kim and shown to my dressing room - an office on nearly the top floor of one of the castle's towers. A lung bursting climb at the best of times, made even more strenuous by hauling half a hundred weight of Henry VIII clothing in a bag behind you. I was soon changed and sitting out on the terrace at the rear of the castle, taking in the views and awaiting the appearance of the Tudor Roses and Diane. With them all assembled round me I was now Henry VIII complete with a Anne Boleyn, Catherine Howard, Jane Seymour, Katherine Parr, Princess Mary and, thanks to an appearance by Diane's step daughter, a nine year old Princess Elizabeth. There were lots of other attractions for the punters including a circus skills training group, archery and a falconer - everything you could possibly need for a wild Tudor weekend.

Henry and his entourage walked round the castle estate, meeting and greeting any punters we came across and posing for limitless photographs. The sun, when out was very warming, but any time some clouds came across, there was a very keen wind which whipped across the castle grounds and reminded you we were still several weeks from May.

We all lunched together in the Castle cafe, which prompted much mirth and interest from our fellow non-Tudor dressed diners. After much more walking about and being photographed, we paused at one point to watch the falconry display, but this nearly ended in disaster as a customer's dog, for some stupid reason off it's lead, roared into the display area and began trying to attack the falcons. I was just waiting for the owner to run past screaming "FENTON! FENTON! JESUS CHRIST!"

We changed and headed back to our cars, and I was soon on my way home. Again the journey was relatively easy and the only unpleasantness occurred when I was nearly home on the A358 between Taunton and Ilminster, where some complete dick wad in a Ford Mondeo decided he was going to weave in and out of the traffic, regardless of what was coming in the other direction. How come you NEVER see a traffic policeman when you want to!?

Right, off to Kent today for a Henry show at Tunbridge Wells tomorrow, then later this week up to Northumberland for an appearance at a Shakespeare festival (and an excuse for a long weekend away). Thanks to the Tudor ladies this weekend, it was a delight.

St James' School, Cheltenham

All England fruit bottling supremo, Egbert Lunge, whilst on a fact finding mission to the Seychelles, falls under the microscopic scrutiny of Kenyan bog-snorkelling champion, Loretta Goes-Nicely. In a tender flash back at the El Morocco Tea Rooms in Sleaford, Egbert reveals he is not a natural blonde, before enforcing the follow on. Shortly, despotic rhythm guitarist, "Dangerous" Malcolm Discharge, bowling unchanged from the Gas Works End, sings a moving version of "I Stuck My Finger in a Woodpecker's Hole" before bad light stopped play. Now, read on....

OK, it's March, right? March as in "not February", as in "not winter"? Yeah? OK, so I am driving back from Essex on Sunday, at about lunch time and I am driving down the A303 across Salisbury Plain - and it starts snowing. SNOWING! S-N-NOOOOOO-WING! ARGH! I should write to The Times about this. This pleased me not as I knew I was going to have to get up very early on the Monday morning for a drive up to Cheltenham in Gloucestershire, and I really didn't fancy doing that through snow storms. However, I had nothing to fear. By the time I got to the tropical climes of South Somerset, the outside temperature had rocketed up to nearly 7 degrees. Mind you, it was still a bit of a shock to the system when my alarm went off at 5.30 this morning. I wonder if Ernest Shackleton ever had worries like this?

The drive up to Cheltenham was actually very pleasant. It was a cold, but very clear morning, and the roads were relative empty. I was making a first ever visit to St James' School in Cheltenham and when I found the address it looked very nice, the school nestling in amongst a very attractive new housing complex. I was extremely warmly welcomed and handed a very cheering cup of tea. This was lovely as I am suffering with a somewhat unpleasant cold at the moment and a hot tea went down a treat. It was a group of over 80 children today in a mixed years 3 and 4 set up. But they were very switched on, very excitable and good fun to work with. The main teacher who had booked me, a simply charming gentleman by the name of Duncan Cook, could not have been more helpful, but then all the staff were very wonderful today. The morning seemed to shoot past at an express rate and before you could say "blimey, what the heck was that?" it was lunch time. I was treated to a very tasty plate of spaghetti and meatballs before heading back to the hall for the afternoon session. More fun with the stocks and then it was on to a very entertaining and interesting jousting tournament. In the grand final it finally looked like the gents were going to claim a much needed win as their first two riders streaked off into a seemingly unbeatable lead. But the ladies would not be denied and clawed back the difference. It was going to come down to the final quoit but the gents, in their haste and desire to claim a win virtually pushed the last quoit onto their riders lance. I had no option but to stop the race, re-hook two singular quoits and let the two teams have a race-off... and would you believe it - the ladies won AGAIN. Our score now moves on to an almost embarrassingly one sided:

GENTLEMEN 12 - 22 LADIES

This is getting too much lads - come on! Must do better! I packed up my stuff and was soon in the car, coughing and sneezing my way down the M5 and home. A nice dinner and pint of Tanglefoot, and all of a sudden my cold doesn't seem as bad as I first thought. It was lovely to visit St James' School today, and I sincerely hope Mr Cook's daughter gets well again soon.

Coalway Junior, Coleford

Good King Hal on the first day of shooting Guy Ritchie's new movie "Lock Stocks Pillory and Two Smoking Leeches", shortly before getting a bit medieval and "tasty" on Little Danny Dyer. And who can blame him.

Gad, it's cold! Frost on my codpiece and all other extremities are a reminder that the winter has not quite finished with us yet. The week started on a warm note though when I drove down to Southampton on the Monday night with the promise of dinner cooked for me by my old ex-Skandia colleague, Lisa Head. She cooked a fabulous meal and finished it off with home made bizarrely flavour cup cakes. How bizarre, you ask? Chocolate and bacon. Yes... bacon. And do you know what? It really worked! Delicious. Just don't tell my Rabbi, or my dietitian. Tuesday was a day spent catching up on emails and paperwork (and sitting eating a sandwich and watching "Bargain Hunt" just don't tell everyone about my wild and exciting lifestyle).

But today was Wednesday and that meant one thing - up at the crack of dawn on a very crisp frosty morning for a drive up to Gloucestershire and a visit to Coalway Junior School in Coleford. This was my 8th visit to this lovely school, and as ever it was an absolute delight to come back. Coalway is, amazingly, exactly 100 miles from my flat - door to door, and I managed to arrive at their august portals at just after 8am this morning. It was bright and sunny by now, but piercingly cold. I was set up to go in the hall, the main idea being that the children would be sat down with their backs to me when I first went in the hall, then I could shout and make them all jump. And it worked a treat! The morning went swimmingly with a group of about 60 children, all of whom were hugely enthusiastic, apart from one young lady who spent the whole morning either sucking her thumb or with her hands clamped over her ears, but even she perked up a bit in the afternoon.

One of the best things about visiting Coalway is the teachers and staff - they are all absolutely lovely, and the lunch and tea breaks in the staff room are always loud and laughter filled, and today was no exception. The afternoon was even more hilarious and we had a visit from the local newspaper who took a pile of photos of the kids and myself mucking about with the stocks, and another set of me sitting with a little lad in wheelchair as he posed with some of the jousting equipment. As for the joust - rip-roaring stuff! Very loud, but not particularly close. A brilliant ladies team simply blew away the gents team. This makes the score look very ominous for the gents now. It says:

GENTLEMEN 11 - 18 LADIES

Is there no stopping them? Probably not, but watch this space for more updates and reports.

Finally, on a sad note, I would like to get all my friends and colleagues to send good thoughts and best wishes to my old friend Anne Edwards who I used to work with at The London Borough of Newham back in the late 80's. Anne is currently hospitalised after suffering a stroke and faces a long and difficult path back to good health again, so please if you know her or would just like to send good thoughts and prayers, if that is your bag, then please do. Many thanks.

How Very Parochial

The Mona Lisa before she had a shave. Notice how the eyes follow you round the room? That's detached retina's, that is...

The school I was visiting on Tuesday, has to have one of my favourite names of any school I go to. This was the delightfully named Amberley Parochial Village School. Anything with the name parochial in it immediately sets me to thinking about Father Ted. But rather than being marooned on the shores of Craggy Island, Amberley is a beautiful Cotswold village, halfway up a big hill in Gloucestershire near Stroud. Strong Laurie Lee country which is always good news for me. However, as the dark morning drive up from Somerset gave way to a pale early light, I might as well have been in Catford for all the scenery I could see. Fog, fog, thick, thick fog. My previous visit to Amberley had been back in 2009 and on that day I had arrived on a piercingly bright autumnal morning. My arrival on Tuesday was in a thick fug of dampness and low visibility. However, the warmth of my welcome was as nice and generous as had ever been. Miss Hyland who booked me at this school was there again and I was soon gulping down generous cups of tea whilst setting up in their charming hall. The group of children, year 3 and 4 combined, were mostly good natured and fun to work with. One little girl burst into tears as soon as I started and continued in this fashion for the rest of the day - usually spending most of her time with her fingers in her ears, but she did laugh a lot as well folks, don't think me some kind of sadistic monster.

On my previous visit to this school I'd had to take a drive out to purchase some lunch, and what with their being no local shop my choice of sandwiches had been reduced to some curling relics on the shelf of a nearby petrol station. Therefore, forewarned against this I had come fully armed this day with a tin of mulligatawny soup (made with real owls) and some crusty bread. Lunch was very warming and spicy and went down a treat.

The afternoon was a little fractured and unsmooth due to a late start back in the hall, and then having to finish very promptly for an end of school assembly. The jousting was fun but ended controversially when a very good lads team had to be disqualified for blatant rule breaking - not a popular decision on my behalf, but rules is rules folks. So with the ladies winning by default the score on our accumulator is now:

GENTLEMEN 7 - 10 LADIES

They're getting away again and the lads are on a bit of a slippery slope it seems. I began the drive home slightly worried - I was driving down one of the hills when my car seemed to start making an alarming metallic grinding noise, almost akin to an angle grinder. I soon located the noise - a man in a garden very close to the road using an angle grinder. Ah, that would be it then. Silly me. I got home in the evening and watched a rather poor Manchester City get deservedly beaten by Napoli in the Champions League, and thence to bed. Did some voice over work for my friend Greg Stevens at Radio Sherborne this morning, and then out again tonight. Tomorrow is a return to another of my favourite schools with my annual visit to Parkfield Junior in Taunton and the near legendary Mr Wynford Sides. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

Christ Church School, Downend

Good King Hal (left) after discovering the price of a single tyre for his Mazda 323F.

Isn't it nice that the weather is finally warming up? Spring seems to have been a long time coming this year. How nice it was to wake up both Saturday and Sunday morning this weekend and to be greeted by bright sunshine and warmth. Perhaps I should put a roof on the flat (that was a joke BTW). On the Sunday morning I decided to use this wonderful early spring sunshine and to head over to Barrington Court for a walk around the gardens, not as Henry, but just as me. Simply to stretch the legs and get some fresh air in my lungs. That was the plan, anyway...

The day after the Cornish trip last week I had noticed that one of the rear tyres on the Mazda was a bit squishy, so I drove to a local garage and pumped it up. I drove over to Barrington on the Sunday afternoon for my walk, only on getting out of the car did I discover that the same tyre was now very flat again. Bum. I decided to utilise Barrington Court's resources and sat in Matthew Applegate's office flicking through the local Yellow Pages to see where the nearest tyre fitting station was. Everything local was closed as it was Sunday, the nearest places being either Taunton or Yeovil. I pumped the tyre up a little and headed for Yeovil. I arrived at Kwik Fit in South Street to be greeted by a man in oil soaked overalls who looked like the off-spring of an unfortunate encounter between the Stay Puff Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, and a skinhead. He was on the phone, saw me walk into the reception area, and just walked off - no acknowledgment - nothing. His little assistant who was working for another customer looked about 12 and wore a Benny from Crossroads hat. The Stay Puff Marshmallow man continued to stalk around the garage bellowing into his phone while the little lad progressed and finally finished with the other customer. All joking aside the little lad was brilliant and got the tyre done in double quick time. I went for the cheapest option on the tyres, and even that was nearly £70. I finally paid and left, while the Stay Puff bloke continued to bark into his phone - I wonder if he does any work there at all..?

Monday morning saw me up bright and early again for a drive up to Downend in North Bristol and a first ever visit to Christ Church School. Downend is the birthplace of W G Grace (hence the piccie above) and is a fairly pleasant suburb. The school was brilliant - great teachers, lovely kids and a pleasant day all round. They had even organised a wonderful Tudor banquet at lunchtime with pottage, pease pudding, a chicken stew and all finished off with a delicious plum pudding. I could get used to this. The afternoon was a riot - much excitement from all the children and ended with a brilliant jousting tournament. The Gents champions had only won their semi final as they had been slightly less pathetic than their opponents, but come the final they had really pulled their socks up, and despite being behind for a long while, they stormed through to a very well deserved victory. This makes the score now:

GENTLEMEN 19 - 22 LADIES

Much more interesting and close - unlike the Rugby this weekend...

Today I am driving up to Essex and tomorrow I am back at Drayton School near Norwich in Norfolk, then next week I have visits to Radlett School in Hertfordshire and then up to Parwich in Derbyshire - I will be away from home for about 10 days.

I must dash, Jeremy Kyle is currently berating a monosyllabic 16-year-old girl who insists she is mature enough to start a family with her equally cranially challenged 17-year-old boyfriend. There goes the neighbourhood. Next stop, ESSEX!

Coalway Junior, Coleford

Good King Hal being inflated in front of Leeds Castle and with a bear behind. Ooh-er!

Sometimes you see interviews with actors, or comedians or even sportsmen, where they talk about being "in the zone". Now this often sounds like pretentious twaddle at it's most bumptious, but occasionally, very occasionally I get a brief glimpse of what they are talking about. Being "in the zone" basically means you are doing everything right without even really having the think about it. Which is about as far as you could possibly get if you are an Australian cricketer recently. Sorry, I really mustn't do that. Gloating is not a good thing to do - but it is tremendous fun. No, going back to being "in the zone", it is like when you are playing cricket and you hit a ball right off the sweet spot of the bat - you don't really feel a thing, all you are aware of is that you timed it perfectly, used very little effort and the ball is now rocketing away towards the boundary. Counter that when you slightly miss-time a shot and catch the ball on the toe of the bat....OW! Your arms will feel like you are having electric shocks passed through them for a few minutes to come! From doing Henry shows so often for the past 6+ years I know my patter and routine virtually backwards, but sometimes, like today, it just flows so much more easily. The jokes in it are timed to perfection, the audience gets it and goes with it and everything just dovetails so perfectly. Days like today don't come around very often, so you enjoy them while you can.

Coalway Junior is a delightful school in the small town of Coleford near Cinderford in the Forest of Dean. This was my seventh annual visit to this school and was far and away my best visit here and most enjoyable. It was a group of about 60 children, all charming, funny and a pleasure to talk to. The teachers were brilliant as well, joining in the silliness in the show with gusto and even chucking in a few heckles along the way, which made it all the more funny. Everything worked like a charm today. The jousting was amazingly exciting and would have been won by a very good Gents team if only their second rider forgot to keep his lance upright and managed to drop all the quoits he'd already picked up. This allowed the ladies to scuttle through and sneak an unexpected victory. This now makes our score:

GENTLEMEN 9 - 11 LADIES

So the ladies start to pull away. The drive back was OK, but through some fairly Biblical weather - howling winds and whipping rain.

Oh, and you know I was getting all celebratory the other week when the BBC finally put Sarah Kennedy out of our misery? Trust me for being cocky. Guess who they are going to replace her with? Vanessa Feltz. Early mornings are going to seem a lot darker all of a sudden... Next Henry show is the much postponed and delayed visit back to Knightwood Primary in Chandlers Ford in Hampshire on Wednesday.

Dean Close Prep, Cheltenham

Good King Hal discussing his new contract at Barrington Court with a thrilled Matthew Applegate.

I had a lovely chat with an old friend on Facebook last night and went to bed relatively early with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. I knew I had to be up early in the morning for my trip up to Cheltenham, but being in such a good frame of mind that shouldn't be a problem, should it? Wrong. I could NOT get to sleep! But luckily I am now the proud owner of the nearly famous "Coma Chair". This is a lovely big squashy armchair that I purchased virtually brand new from a charity shop in Yeovil earlier this year. It is so comfy that unfortunately whenever I sit in it to watch a film or something I invariably fall fast asleep and wake up as either the titles are going up at the end, or at about 3am in the morning - hence the name "The Coma Chair". So after a few hours fruitless trying to sleep I gave in, abandoned my bed and stomped off to my front room with my duvet and an appointment with "The Coma Chair". And it worked! Within about 10 minutes I was asleep!

This morning I was up bright and early...oh alright...early, and out the door and off towards Cheltenham. And the journey was relatively trouble free, sorry, no mad annoying BMW drivers this time. However, to Cyberkim, one of the followers of this blog, I love the idea of having a Land Rover Defender, but feel I would actually need to be as rich as the real Henry VIII to afford the fuel bills for driving it round the country!

Dean Close Prep is another of my long term regular schools, a bit like the recent visits to Blean and St Cecillia's. I have been coming up to this nice private school in Cheltenham for about 6 years now and it is still a pleasure. Great bunch of kids again today, nice friendly teachers as ever and a great lunch and chat with the school's new verger to the Chaplain. One little girl didn't want to come in first thing in the morning - she made this clear by screaming and hiding outside the hall. Apparently she is terrified of anyone dressed up and had been like this with clowns, a Viking visit to the school, and now me! So I was in good company! Eventually she was persuaded inside the hall and spent the first hour of the show clamped to the arm of a female teacher at the back of the hall. I must have been doing something good as by the end of the day she was jousting with the rest of the group and even came up to me as I was packing away at the close of the show and thanked me for a fun day! What a change. The jousting was good again, very noisy and exciting and culminated in another win for....................... the gents! This now makes our year long score:

GENTLEMEN 3 - 2 LADIES

Interesting. The next Henry show is this Monday at South Green in Billericay in Essex. See you there. Also, watch out for some possibly very exciting news coming soon regarding Good King Hal and... BBC TV. I shall tell more as and when I know it!

Coalway Junior, Coleford and Many Happy Returns!

Good King Hal about to get his robes caught in a piece of fearsome looking farm machinery. (left)

The alarm went off at 5am. Not again! It would have been very, very easy just to turn it off and slip back into the arms of sleep - I had to really make myself get up on Thursday morning. The drive up to Coleford in the Forest of Dean is nearly always a pleasurable one as you travel through some wonderful countryside once you have escaped from the M5. I have been visiting Coalway Junior for the past five years, and Thursday it was my sixth visit to this wonderful place. It is almost like returning to a family with each visit as there are so many friendly welcoming faces. You have not in your entire life heard such a loud, funny, laughter filled staff room! And the children are pretty cool too. We had a lovely day, with plenty of laughs in the morning and the children really displaying a fine level of Tudor knowledge. Some of their designs for their coats of arms were staggeringly good!

After a nice tuna baguette and salad at lunchtime it was back into the main hall for more of the same silliness. Despite frequent interruptions from children going into the canteen for music lessons on a loud piano, everything went swimmingly. The jousting tournament was again of a quite brilliantly high standard. Two fine teams went head to head in the final, and after a poor start the gents pulled themselves into a slight lead, only for them to be reigned in by a quite fabulous ladies team who stormed to victory. Wonderful stuff. This now makes the score:

GENTLEMEN 12 - 18 LADIES

The ladies are starting to pull away again now. Come on Gents!

At home I treated myself to a venison steak for dinner, which was delicious. So what was the cause of this gluttonous levity? Well, today is February 26th and is my 43rd birthday! So I am celebrating this morning with a banana and strawberry smoothie, and I am now expanding my mind by watching The Jeremy Kyle Show. I know how to enjoy myself! Dinner tomorrow night with a load of friends and family to look forward to, at the Duke of York pub in Shepton Beauchamp. Lovely!

Amberley Parochial School

Good King Hal, desperate for funds, is reduced to busking for a group of disinterested Belgian midgets and their chums. He is seen here during his 15 hour rendition of the "Best of Emerson Lake and Palmer". He soon had the bus fare and a broken nose.

People who don't know the south west very well often comment to me that if I am working in Gloucestershire that I must be pleased as it is "nice and local". Wrong! Getting to Amberley, near Stroud took me over and hour and a half. The weather wasn't brilliant but it was at least an improvement on the Biblical floods of the weekend. Amberley is a very pretty little village and the school, sorry Parochial School, is, as the name suggests an old Victorian building at the heart of the community. However, once through the Victorian front there has been some amazing building work at the back and the hall I was working in was only about five years old, light and airy and perfect for the day.

It was due to be a group of just over 30 children today, but their numbers had been decimated by the severe colds currently rocketing round the country. 9 children were off at the start of the day, and we lost another one during the day. Therefore I didn't split this group up for the activities and we all stayed together for everything. It was a mixed group of year 3 and 4's and some of them had tremendous knowledge of the Tudors. The teachers were lovely and very welcoming, as they always seem to be at all the schools I visit.

After a fine morning, I had to nip out for a sandwich. Now I hasten to add here that I do get changed out of the Henry clobber before I unleash myself on the unsuspecting citizens of the fine country. The local petrol station had a great selection of sandwiches, but only if you liked egg and bacon. That was all that they had. So I ummed and ahhhed and eventually plumped for....egg and bacon! Good job I didn't have an egg intolerance or was Jewish.

The afternoon was great fun and for the jousting finale we were joined by the children from year 2 who cheered along through a great tournament. The gents snatched another victory to claw the score back to:

GENTLEMEN 6 - 9 LADIES

It's getting close! Today I am driving up to Essex for a visit to Corringham tomorrow, and then I am off to Oakfield School in Dartford, Kent on Thursday.

Coalway Junior, Coleford, Gloucestershire

Here is a new look at the picture a nice chap called Roger Harris of www.colourpencils.co.uk is doing of me. He took a series of photos of me at Dillington House last August and this is his handiwork so far. All done with colour pencils! Amazing.

Today I was back at an old favourite - Coalway Junior in Coleford in Gloucestershire. This was my fifth visit to this lovely school and it just seems to get better each year. I was warmly welcomed and given a cup of tea. I soon got all the props in but then found my car was stuck on the children's playground as the only route off it was blocked by a car belonging to someone unknown! By the time I had found them and got the car moved the children were already seated in the hall - and I wasn't in my Henry gear. I rushed around in a very passable impression of a fly suffering with a blue tinge to it's derriere and we were off. It was just a fantastic day. The kids were wonderful, the teachers delightful and all in all a day you could not complain about. The afternoon was a riot, particularly helped by a wonderful little lad I picked out to be my punished beggar as he was completely deadpan all the way through. He was hilarious. The final joust was also good with the gents just pipping the ladies to the win. I was then heaped with praise by the teachers for my work which was very humbling and gratifying, and then I was on my way back home. I will now settle down and cheer on Inter Milan against Man Utd. Mind you, if Man Utd were playing the Taliban I would be cheering on the loonies in the big beards.

Tomorrow I am at North Town School in Taunton.

Meet the Tudors, Sudeley Castle

For the third May Bank Holiday running, I was at Sudeley Castle in Winchcombe, Gloucestershire for more Tudor nonsense. It promised to be bigger and better than in previous years, and in some way it was. I headed off on Saturday morning nice and early, and I was soon hacking up the M5. Winchcombe is a delightful town and Sudeley is a little treasure of a place - the final resting place of Katherine Parr, Henry's final wife.

In previous years it has just been me wandering around as Henry and meeting and greeting people, but this year I had two other friends to saunter about with. One was a delightful Irish lady called Orla Beardwell who dressed up as a wonderful Queen Elizabeth I, the other was a wonderfully insane character called Bob Mason who was dressing up as Will Somers, Henry's jester. Bob's other wonderful claim to fame is that in a previous time of his life he was the near legendary Phantom Flan-Flinger from cult TV series "Tiswas" in the late 70's and early 80's. You can see us pictured here in our first picture at the visitors reception centre. There were other attractions for the weekend, including archery, an executioner (complete with body hanging from a jibbet), singers, and even Davy the Jester, late of Leeds Castle and this blog.

Saturday was a delight, hot weather, lots of visitors, loads of photos taken and generally a fun and happy atmosphere. Sunday and the weather broke and it poured and poured with rain and was generally cold and miserable, but we still had lots of visitors. Bank Holiday Monday came complete with more cold weather and loads of rain and sadly a drop in visitor numbers. However, everyone seemed to have a really good time and the staff and people of Sudeley Castle were as friendly and charming as ever.

For my digs I stayed at Oaklands B&B virtually opposite Blair House where I stayed last year. The hosts there were wonderful and friendly and have nurtured a very happy family atmosphere for the whole place and it really does feel like a home from home. It still smacks a little of it's previous life as an old folks care home (hand rails down every corridor and lots of hand rails in strange places in the toilet!) but they do a breakfast that even defeated me (I asked for a much smaller one on Monday morning) and I can heartily recommend it for a genuinely warm and charming welcome.

It was good to meet so many nationalities and friendly people during all the walkabouts and meet and greets over the weekend, including my first ever tourists from Uruguay! On Saturday poor old Orla got very sunburnt across her shoulders and chest but I am sure this is what kept her mostly warm over the colder Sunday and Monday. Jenny from Sudeley Castle who was looking after all the bookings and events had worked with me before when she used to work at Dean Close Prep in Cheltenham (see this blog passim).

There is talk of a special event at Sudeley next year to mark Henry's 500th anniversary of his ascension to the throne. It would be lovely to be involved, so as I have said before "watch this space".

My drive back was relatively quick and uneventful, and however nice my three days at Sudeley Castle were I am very much looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight!

Coalway Junior, Coleford

Four years since I was first there, I was back at Coalway Junior in Coleford, Gloucestershire. Four years in a row I have visited this lovely school, and it just seems to get better and better!

The main teacher I was dealing with today was James Barrow, a fiercely proud Cardiff City supporter and so has a lot to shout about this year with their great FA Cup run. I wish I could say the same about Manchester City or Yeovil...

It was a group of about 55 children today and they were wonderful - as they always are at Coalway Junior! Some of them had obviously been very well taught and knew their Tudor history marvellously. It was very nice to be at Coleford for the first time not in rain! My previous three visits before this I am sure absolutely belted down each time!

The drive up was really lovely today in such bright sharp weather. I always love driving through Chepstow - admittedly it can be a bit of a bottleneck, but on a day like today it is hard to beat!

After a lovely roast dinner lunch we were back on for the Tudor crime and punishment trail, but not before I had been treated to a fine display of Tudor dance by one of the classes. The jousting was really closely contested and YET AGAIN the ladies walked off with the title with a quite brilliant display of teamwork. However the finest jouster was the second leg man of the Gents champs who could go professional should he wish - he was THAT good!

And now it is the Easter holidays - and I could do with the rest. See you at Barrington Court on the 19 April.

Grange Primary School, Gloucester

It was back up the old wind and rain blasted M5 again today. Another crack of dawn start saw me and the new Peugeot heading back to a flood warning area! I was going back to Grange Primary School in Gloucester - a school I last visited back in 2005. I didn't seem to recognise the place when I got there, but the lovely teachers who greeted me reassured me this was because the place had been almost completely re-built in recent months.

I have to say that this was a really fun school to do today. About 100 children from years 3 and 4 and they were just so sparky and funky! Great fun all day. Laughs and jokes aplenty all day and some terrific Tudor knowledge from some of the children. The teachers were a delight to work with and the atmosphere in the staff room was more like a friendly local pub than a place of work! After a really tasty lunch it was back to the hall for the afternoon session. The laughs during my stocks routine were loud and genuine, and the jousting was a real rumpunctuous success! The ladies once more came through for a well earned victory.

I have tomorrow off to continue with the fun and games of my tax return, plus I still have to get my dead Honda Accord over to Ian Summers at Popular Motors at some point... Thursday is another appearance by me on BBC Radio Somerset and then Thursday evening is the Barrington Court Wassail evening. See you there...

Dean Close Prep, Cheltenham

Well Henry fans, here it is! Long time - no blog. Well, things have been happening. My trusty old friend, my Honda Accord, has died. I was driving the poor old thing up Wayford Hill the other week when the engine just went "No Way" and stopped. I nursed the car home and drove it around for a couple days, but then it kept cutting out. No chance of me using it for work any more. So a new car was needed. I went to see Ian "Honest" Summers of Popular Motors in Merriott and he was brilliant. Ian is a great bloke and always very helpful. He only ever laughs with me about the cars I buy, never at them. So from this very high class vehicular boutique I have purchased a very nice Peugeot 406 on a V reg plate and today was it's baptism of fire as I got back on the road again being Henry.

Today I was back at Dean Close Prep school in Cheltenham, for the third year running. It was good to be back. Dean Close is such a lovely school to visit. The children are always great fun and never any bother, the teachers are incredibly friendly and generous with their time and the lunch is always spectacular. What more could you want?

As usual with a private school the timings were all a bit wonky, with the morning running on until nearly 1pm and the afternoon only lasting from 2.15 to 3pm. However we had a good time, lots of laughs and with the final jousting session the ladies won by default as the gentlemen's cheating on their final leg was so blatant as to be embarrassing!

The drive home was very good, mostly clear roads but occasional huge downpours of rain. I have to do a similar drive tomorrow as I am appearing at Grange Junior School in Tuffley, Gloucester. Should be a good one as I haven't visited them for about three years!