Auditions, Falcons and Hedingham

To be honest, the Five Star reunion was not a raging success as one member of the group at least had really let himself go...

Some while ago, I had spent a great deal of my spare time trying to get on to the ITV quiz show "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"  Well I clearly did, certainly considering the amount of time and effort I put into getting a longed for audition, but whatever the reason it was never to be and I was never called up to the studio and let things happen.  Roll on to modern times and there is a game show on daytime ITV at the moment called "Tipping Point", which revolves around this enormous version of one of the old coin waterfall games so splendidly popular in British seaside resorts down the years.  However, instead of a few pence or some crappy novelty toy that might occasionally fall out, for every coin you knock down on this programme, they give you £50 - and it soon adds up!  Answer a few not very challenging general knowledge questions and you can gain control of the machine and can, if luck is on your side, win up to £10,000.  I was watching an episode the other day and one of the questions a lady had was "which island is linked to the Welsh mainland by the Menai Straits Bridge?"  She thought long and hard before replying "The Isle of Man?"  Now that would be one hell of a length bridge.  Anyway, I made enquiries about getting on this show as I fancied winning some cash, found the production teams details and applied.  And LO!  It came to be that I was asked to come and audition for said "Tipping Point".  The time and date for this was on the Tuesday morning at 11am, and I had to get to West Kensington Village for this audition.  I caught the 7.30am train from Crewkerne and as I had booked the tickets on line and in advance I got cheap ones that meant I could bump myself up to 1st class for there and back and still pay less than the normal ticket price!  1st class was nice but I was amazed by the lack of leg room, Thai masseuse, chateu neuf de pap and beef wellington.
I caught a taxi from Waterloo to West Kensington Village and was soon at the production office for the audition.  I was greeted by several very blonde, perma tanned young men called "Tarquin" or some such, who I would imagine were fans of hi-energy disco and had an extensive knowledge of where to go to dance to it in north London.  I was with about 16 other people - first we had to take part in a general knowledge quiz which seemed relatively easy, then we had to stand in front of a camera and be interviewed and talk about ourselves, which as you know is not something that I struggle with.  And that was it!  I was soon back at Waterloo and then on the train back to Crewkerne.  It was a lot of travelling for a very short audition, but who knows.   Now I had to wait and see.
Wednesday I drove up to Essex to see my lovely son James and his Mummy, and all in readiness for a trip on the Thursday up to Norfolk and a visit to Falcon Junior.  I had horrendously double booked myself a couple of weeks ago, and the day I was at Bathampton I should have been at Falcon.  What a twit I was.  I apologised profusely and Falcon were kind enough to invite me back a few days later.  As you can imagine I got a lot of ribbing on my arrival with comments such as "decided to turn up today, have you?" or "remembered us this time, did you?"  But it was a lovely day with all the kids and the teachers.  Much fun was had by all. The final joust was astonishing - the boys were so far in front but somehow got stuck on the final quoit and could not collect it, allowing the ladies to toddle past and clinch an unlikely victory.  Our score then goes to:

GENTLEMEN 17 - 24 LADIES

I had a day or two at leisure before on the Sunday and Monday of the bank holiday heading up to Castle Hedingham in Essex for two days jousting with the Knights of Royal England and also with the lovely Tudor Roses in attendance as well.  We were blessed with the weather and had two lovely days with much laughter and fun.  It was nice to have my lovely son James at my side as my squire for the two days and he really seemed to get into the swing of things again.  This morning we are heading down to Kent to Leeds Castle for some more jousting.  I am only there for the Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, so if anyone is trying to avoid me, go and see the jousters on the Friday, Saturday or Sunday.  You can't say I don't give you good advance warning.  Alas this morning the weather has broken and it looks like we'll be jousting in the shallow end again.

Parwich Primary, Derbyshire

Good King Hal attempts to bring peace to the Middle East, however the child is obviously a music lover and appears to be trying to escape.

I had never done a Henry show in Derbyshire before, so this was a real first for me. I was going to be driving up from Essex having spent some time with Amanda and James. Once more I was booked into one of those charming characterful Travelodge places, so beloved of all commercial travellers. Now my sat nav is not the most reliable thing in my possession at the moment, and on the Travelodge website it suggested you typed in another post code for the hotel than the one it officially had. Who was I to argue with that? I followed the sat nav's directions all the way up to the outskirts of Ashbourne near the Peak District, and then headed off for where it assured me the hotel would be. WRONG again. Nothing - not a sausage. I found a small petrol station and wandered in through the driving rain to ask for directions. The nice lady behind the counter smiled at me as I came in. Before I could even say a word she said "You're looking for the Travelodge, aren't you?" Was I that obvious? Apparently EVERYONE who goes into that petrol station and doesn't buy fuel has been sent there by their sat nav with the post code given to them by Travelodge in the first place! Or was she making an unsubtle pass at me? No, of course she wasn't.

I drove back the way she had shown me and saw that the hotel stood in what was basically glorified waste ground with only a Harvester-style plastic pub anywhere near it. Now I love pubs, good old fashioned English pubs. These modern plastic pubs have about as much in common with a proper English pub as I do with Jonathan Rhys-Myers. Yes, we both play Henry VIII but only one of us is even vaguely attractive to the opposite sex. So the idea of a plate of "Surf'n'turf with a complimentary salad bar to visit, and with a nice foamy pint of John Smith's Smooth Flow to wash it all down!" filled me with shuddering dread, so I was far more pleased to see that there was a Marks and Spencer food store just up the road, and so I headed there to stock up for the evening. I came back, checked into the hotel and wandered up to my room. It was a much newer hotel than the one I stayed in recently when in Shrewsbury, with the only difference I could see that the room was smaller and the bathroom considerably so. My car was one of only three in the car park at that time. I had just settled into the room when I heard the unmistakable sound of stiletto heels on concrete outside - being the nosey git I am I peaked out the window. There was a dazzling glamorous blonde lady in a steaming clinch with a man in a business suit. I looked on in awe as they appeared to be on the point of devouring each other - and what were they doing coming out of a nice Travelodge at about 4pm on a weekday? Perhaps they worked there! Perhaps they had just finished a hard shift stripping beds and replenishing complimentary tea and coffee sachets in the rooms and were congratulating each other with a vacuum like snog in the car park? They eventually disentangled each other and got into separate cars. As they drove off I could see a baby seat in the back of the business suited man's car. Now I may be putting two and two together and making 5,834, but my immediate thought was "what a bastard". I hope I was wrong.

I was up bright and early this morning and was soon driving up through the delightful town of Ashbourne and out into the countryside to find Parwich. In the drizzly incessant rain everything looked a bit grey and depressing. I soon found it and eventually the old Victorian School. I had only been there a few minutes when Laura Smith, the teacher who had booked me for the day, arrived. She was absolutely charming - one of the nicest ladies I have met in a long time. The plan was to do the morning "talky" stuff in the school classroom, and then in the afternoon to travel down to the village hall for the jousting etc. A bit like we had done at Broadclyst in Devon recently. It was a smallish group of about 26 children with a range of ages from years 3, 4, 5 & 6. Quite a few of them had come along in fabulous Tudor costumes. We had a great morning and finished off with a lovely meal of sweet and sour pork - delicious! I then moved all the gear down to the village hall, a delightful brand new building with a fine resonant main room. I went into the large disabled loo to get changed before the children came over and was horrified to discover an enormous "Richard the Third" lurking, unflushed in the toilet there. It looked like King Kong's finger and was rapidly flushed away by yours truly. The deeply worrying thing about it was that it was lying in the pan completely on it's own - no used toilet paper! ARGH! Did the person who gave birth to this leviathan simply haul up their trolleys at the end of the session and, unable to contemplate the thought of drowning their new born dreadnought, simply waddled off into the sunset? It scarcely bares thinking about. Anyway, rapidly changing the subject, the afternoon was a belter with a fantastic stocks session followed by an even better jousting tournament. We were joined by the infants from years 1 & 2 to cheer on the teams for this, and in culminated, yet again in a fine win by a very good ladies team. This now makes our score:

GENTLEMEN 20 - 24 LADIES

They are starting to get away again! I finally packed away, said goodbye to Laura Smith, and was on my way home. Parwich looked so much nicer in the bright sunshine - a really beautiful place, very quaint and definitely worth a return visit. I'll be back! I left Parwich at about 3.40pm - I arrived at my place in Crewkerne at almost smack on 7pm, tired but pleased to be home again for the first time in well over a week. I have tomorrow off, which must be an April Fool Joke of some sort or other, and am next being Henry on Monday when I make a return visit to Noremarsh School in Wootton Bassett in Wiltshire - close to where Andy Partridge lives in Swindon! HELLO ANDY!

The Mike Farley Show

Mike Farley's mic, called Mike the Mic. I'd like to travel one day...

United FM in Crewkerne launched on Friday the 9th April. I was there for the original opening part. My parents had come to visit as well as it was my Father's birthday, so they got dragged along to the radio station HQ. We were there early and met David Laws, the fine MP for Yeovil, however we had to push off before the main, rock'n'roll guest, John "Rabbit" Bundrick, "live" keyboard player for The Who, turned up to cut the ribbon. It was a good launch and everyone seemed in high spirits. Later on the Friday my sister Cathy and her husband Julian turned up from Kent for a long overdue visit to my flat in Crewkerne. We had dinner with my parents at the Duke of York Pub in Shepton Beauchamp where I had celebrated my 43rd birthday in February. On the Saturday we all ventured over to Ilminster as my parents wanted to pay their usual visit to the august portals of Dyers Department Store there. We had a lunch at Bilby's in the High Street and then my parents headed back to Wales. Cath, Jules and I then drove over to Barrington Court and enjoying the fine weather had a nice leisurely stroll round the houses and gardens. We finished with a drink and a slice of lemon drizzle cake at the Beagles Cafe.

That evening we headed over to the Dinnington Docks Pub and all had vast platefuls of delicious faggots, mash and gravy for dinner. These plates were huge and really were just too much on top of everything else we'd scoffed and drunk through the day. We got back to my flat and sat around like three stone Buddhas.

On the Sunday morning Julian and I headed over to Ilchester and the car boot sale over there. I bought a few bits and pieces but we were soon home. A day of leisure was then had as first of all Cath and Julian watched some motorbike racing - don't ask me what it was or where it was but it seemed to go on forever. After that we watched Manchester City thrash Birmingham 5-1 which was wonderful to behold! Then we watched incredulously as Portsmouth beat Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 in the FA Cup Semi Final. Wonderful, amazing and totally unexpected. Cath particularly enjoyed looking at David James in his tight pink shirt.

This evening I did my first "Mike Farley Show" on United FM. I broadcast from 10pm to midnight and had a great time, really enjoyed myself with Cath and Julian sitting in the studio with me and joining in the banter. I played some of my favourite songs, such as "My Pink Half of the Drainpipe" by the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, to "All In My Head" by Kosheen, to "Earn Enough for Us" and "Then She Appeared" by XTC. The two hours seemed to shoot past, and I can't wait to do it all again next week! Hope you get a chance to listen next Sunday - 10pm on www.unitedfm.co.uk - you know you want to!

Off to Wales for the week now with James. Should be fun!

Andy Partridge interview

Skylarking by XTC from 1986. The single most wonderful record in the history of the Universe. (Possible slight exaggeration, but it is jolly good anyway).

This was a day I thought would never happen. I have been a fan of XTC for so long now. Well over 20 years I have listened to their clever, intelligent, catchy, melodic, annoying, heart-rending, beautiful, wistful music. To me Andy Partridge, main songwriter and singer with the group, has been this icon - a genius of God-like stature, unapproachable, untouchable, almost unreal. A short while ago I got involved with helping with the formation of a local community based radio station in Crewkerne called United FM. They have asked me to present a late night radio show at weekends playing music of all sorts into the wee small hours. I asked if I could have a regular evening slot called "Sheer XTC" where I can play a fine sweep of the works of Swindon's finest product since the Great Western Railway. The management of the station agreed. I then wondered if there was any chance I could sort out an interview or appearance by Mr Partridge at the station, but how to get hold of him? Andy has his own record label now called "Ape House Records" and on hunting down their website (http://www.ape.uk.net/) I sent a rather hopeful email and didn't really expect much to happen. But, boy did it ever happen! I got an email from Andy's assistant saying that he was very happy to do an interview, but it would have to be over the phone as he didn't drive and getting to Crewkerne could be a bit of a "pain in the..." (well, you work it out!).

After much umming and ahhing it was finally settled that the interview would take place at 1.30pm on Thursday March 18th. After various technical difficulties were sorted out by Greg the brilliant techie at United FM, I tentatively phoned Andy on the number I had been given by the record label. And suddenly I was on the phone with Andy Partridge. He was real. He was friendly, and he was laughing at some of my very lame jokes. What a nice chap. I had been booked to speak to Andy for 20 minutes - we ended up talking for over an hour. When the recording had finished Andy wanted to continue the conversation, so we then talked for another 20 minutes, off the record, so to speak which was equally friendly and enlightening. We finally parted with Andy inviting me to Swindon for dinner at a very nice Spanish restaurant that he highly recommended. How fantastic was that? The interview could not have gone better and I am delighted to announce that Andy Partridge is now definitely not a God. No, he seems for more like a close friend, which is truly wonderful.

I am back to being Henry on Friday with a banquet to do at Awford in Hampshire in the afternoon. Should be fun.

Apple Venus from 1999. Another pretty good XTC album. (Alright, it's totally bloody brilliant, but don't take my word for it - buy it!).

What a Blow Out...

Good King Hal's Mazda 323 but with tyres intact and not a pikey in sight.

Back to the south east again! Sunday 7th February I drive up to Essex to spend some nice quality time with my wife and son. We had a nice couple of days, but then come early Wednesday morning I was off at the crack of dawn heading up the merry old A12 towards Norfolk and a return visit to the wonderful Caister Junior School. The journey started off very well and I was making good progress, but it was cold outside and getting colder. We suddenly had a tremendous flurry of snow, but it didn't seem to settle. Getting up into Suffolk there was suddenly frequent announcements on the radio that because of icy conditions, the A47 east of Norwich was now shut - this is where I needed to go to get to Caister. I cut across country and was soon making even better progress - this was going to be a doddle! Then it snowed again. Almost as soon as it snowed the moisture on the road froze solid. A pleasant easy main A-road to drive along immediately morphed into a slick, sheet-ice, hell hole. A long queue of traffic snaked ahead of me and we crawled along at only just over 10 mph and keeping a big enough space to the car in front in case we needed to stop, something that would be virtually impossible on this surface. As 9am approached I phoned the school to explain why I was so late - they were great, very understanding and just said "get here safe and sound, that's all that matters". Well it was worth it when I got there! A big group of brilliant children, bright, sparky and full of laughter. Their costumes were as brilliant as ever. The teachers were lovely and welcoming as well, particularly Snow White! (She'll know who I mean!). The afternoon session was wild and full of laughter and the jousting was deafening! It was a rip-roaring success and ended with a very close finish with the Ladies team just triumphing. This brought our score now to:

GENTLEMEN 10 - 15 LADIES

It's getting interesting now folks!

Amidst more flurries of snow I headed up the now re-opened A47 and headed for Acle and my appointment with a Travelodge there! Now I hadn't stayed in a Travelodge since I did the Education Show at the NEC in Birmingham back in 2006 - well I was very pleasantly surprised. A big comfy room, double bed, en suite shower room, secluded lighting and a posh plasma screen telly on the wall. And all this for just £29! The receptionist was also very pleasant and charming and was very interested in my job as Henry! I veged out in my room for the evening listening to music on my MP3 player and reading the entertaining but slightly melancholy new Sue Townshend "Adrian Mole" book.

Up bright and early and over to Drayton for a return visit to another lovely school - Drayton Junior. Another warm welcome from Angela the lovely teacher and we were soon off and running. It was another superb group, very quiet to begin with but getting brighter and louder as the day went on and in the end we had a roof lifting jousting tournament. The Gents stormed to a resounding victory. This brings our score to:

GENTLEMEN 11 - 15 LADIES

This is getting closer and closer. Drayton was a lovely school to visit and I had a lovely chat at lunchtime with a charming young trainee teacher from Ireland. A wonderful young lady.

I began to head for Basildon and dinner with my wife and son. I made very good progress until I got just south of Colchester. While bombing along at about 75MPH my front right tyre suddenly blew. The car slewed sideways and I ended up rumbling along at about 20MPH desperate to get to a lay by. I finally stopped and got out to survey the damage. The tyre was shredded and hanging off the metal tyre rim in sad looking strips. I checked the spare tyre - it was a emergency space saver, suitable only for slow driving and about 50 miles in total, and I had to get back to Somerset. I was not a member of the RAC or AA. Problems. With several phone calls to my wife, my mother and a friend in Colchester, I was eventually a member of the RAC and awaiting saving. I had been sitting in the lay by for about an hour when a big vehicle suddenly screamed to a halt behind me. It turned out it was the Police asking me if I was OK, which was quite re-assuring. After they had gone the RAC phoned back and said someone would be with me within the hour. As soon as they had gone another big pick up suddenly screamed to a halt behind me. I saw a figure get out and starting circling round the back of my car. This must be the RAC bloke - the figure wandered round next to my door, so I wound down the window and said "hello". The effect was electric - the big figure dashed round to the near side of my car and for some reason began to look into the scrubby undergrowth next to the carriageway, as if looking for something. He then turned round, whistled nonchalantly, and waddled off back to his pick up. He drove off. What the hell was that all about? When the real RAC bloke turned up he said with absolute definition that the man in question must have been a "pikey" checking out my car to see if it was abandoned and if he could ransack it. Nice.

Well I eventually got the car sorted, a new tyre, and finally I was on my way - at just short of 9pm. The tyre had burst at about 5pm. I got back to Crewkerne at about 11.30pm and was just so exhausted that I immediately collapsed into bed. I was glad to be home, but too tired for any good this weekend, so my visit to the Lake District and return visit to see Andy and Kate near Penrith has had to be postponed.

Half term next week and a visit to Wales with my son to see his Grandparents. Should be fun!

Grange Junior, Swindon

Anne of Cleeves keeping her fingers crossed that this isn't really "handsome" King Henry, just a bizarre cross between an orangutan and a water bed.

Ah, Swindon! Swindon! Home of the Great Western Railway! Birthplace of Saint Billie of the Pipers! The starting point of Melinda Messenger's awesome career! And we can blame it for Mark Lamarr... But it is also home to XTC, the finest, most underrated, fantastic, creative, original, melodic rock band Britain has produced in 40 years. As you can tell from that rabid, frothing at the mouth sentence I am a bit of a fan. This is a bit like saying Billy Graham is a touch evangelical.

I had last come to visit Grange Junior in Swindon about two years ago. This show had been postponed for a week as the school had to endure an Ofsted inspection the previous date we had arranged. It was a large group - about 90 children, but they were really great. Fantastically excitable, full of enthusiasm, ready to laugh and all of them bright as buttons. I was warmly welcomed by the teachers and also the caretaker who, it turned out, had been to school with Andy Partridge (main man in the aforementioned XTC - just thought you should know). I was also grabbed by another teacher who had seen me about four years ago when I appeared at North Somerset Museum in Weston-super-Mare (you'll probably find my blog about that in the archives!). She said I was very funny and a bit rude. I don't know what she means! I was equally warmly welcomed by the lovely school secretary who could quite easily have a fabulous career as a wench if she wanted to.

After a very pleasant lunch and a sit down it was back for the madness for the afternoon. The stocks were a riot with some of the children getting almost too excited, especially the Mayor of Swindon (he knows who he is!). The jousting was amazing. Both the gents teams in their final were a little...ahem...clumsy? To be honest I thought they were the two most incompetent teams I had ever seen and I reckoned whoever got through to the final against the ladies would be absolutely trounced. Quoits were sent flying, quintaines were knocked over, wrong directions were gone in and various members of each team were nearly run through with loose lances! And yet....come the main final against a really good ladies team - THEY WON! Can you believe it? They stormed to victory! This now makes our score:

GENTLEMEN 10 - 14 LADIES

It's hotting up! Next week I am in Norfolk for a couple of days at Caister and Drayton.

In the evening when I got back I was down at United FM, the prospective new radio station for Crewkerne, recording some jingles and adverts ahead of their "live" launch. Check them out at www.unitedfm.co.uk and see if anything is happening yet!

Dean Close School, Cheltenham & Henhayes OAP's!

Good King Hal, getting "jiggy wid der spriggy" at the Mistletoe Fayre. It didn't work.

After the joys of the Misteltoe Fayre I was up at the crack of dawn on a rainy and wind-blown Monday morning for a journey up the M5 to Cheltenham and a return for the 5th time to Dean Close School. It was good to be back and we had a lovely time. The morning session was full of fun and laughter, and there were some fabulous designs on the coat of arms that the children made. The main hall we were in was somewhat restricted for us by a huge stage poking out into the middle of the hall and a mass of chairs set up for a school production of "Godspell". Lunch at Dean Close was, as ever, wonderful. Pasta Bolognese, which for once with a school dinner was actually very very tasty and more-ish. I wolfed that down and then demolished a nice bowl of apple crumble and custard. Lovely! Because of the lack of space in the hall there was no room for a proper joust so instead I set up one set of quintane polls on the stage and the race was done purely as a time trial between two teams. The gents went first and posted a time of 1 minute and 19 seconds. Then it was the ladies turn. They did well but could only manage a time of 1 minute and 23 seconds. Therefore the score is now:

GENTLEMEN 8 - 12 LADIES

After re-loading the car I was on my way. The journey home was nice and, most importantly considering the recent weather, dry. If it had rained any more I was considering trading the Mazda in for a hovercraft, or even some water wings.

Today was nice and local - doing a talk to a pensioners group at the Henhayes Centre in Crewkerne. They had offered me travel expenses, but as I can virtually open my front door and fall into the Centre there seemed little point. I'd probably end up owing them money. The group was about 20 ladies and gents and they were all lovely and seemed to really enjoy it. I finished there, did some Christmas shopping in town and then headed for home.

Tomorrow I am back at The Maynard School in Exeter. I won't be able to add the result of the joust to the yearly school as, like Godstowe Prep in High Wycombe, this is an all-girls school. Thursday I am in Long Sutton in Somerset then this weekend I have my first appearances as Father Christmas at Leeds Castle - including the dreaded helicopter flight on Saturday. Watch this space for more...

St George's Night Event, Misterton

I had been approached some months back by a lovely lady called Cheryl Newman to see if I would be interested in appearing at the Crewkerne Town Twinning Association's St George's Night Event in Misterton when all their guests from Igny in France would be over. For a while it seemed touch and go as to whether the event would go ahead, but then about a month or so ago it was confirmed. I arrived at the village hall in Misterton, tucked away down a back lane as it is and was delighted by what I found. There is a large open space with a football pitch or two, some other hard court sports areas and a rather attractive looking village hall. Various St George's Crosses were hanging up alongside various tricolours. Long tables had been set up along the hall and a band (called Tease the Cat) were setting up as well. Outside caterers were setting up large hot trays and a bar was being readied for the evening. Cheryl showed me a room at the rear of the hall where I could get ready.

The plan was that everyone would arrive, there would be some speeches, then I would be introduced and I would then appear from my back room to wow the audience. Of course the speeches were twice the length they should be as they all had to be translated, either from English into French, or from French into English. Finally it was my turn. As I emerged from the back room there was applause and a few gasps of astonishment from the French contingent. I quickly checked that I had put my pantaloons on, but everything was in place. The reason for their reaction was that on the trip down to Crewkerne in their coach, they had stopped at Hampton Court Palace and seen lots of pics of Henry - now they were seeing the real thing. The talk went really well, lots of laughs and great audience participation. I finished and was then set upon by photographers - thousands of 'em, it seemed, but I happily posed for all their pictures, and they seemed well pleased. I left the happy people to their party and headed back into Crewkerne, pausing only to buy a Chinese curry and boiled rice.

Today has been nice - a bit of tidying up around the flat and then a long walk over at Barrington Court. Very nice. Tuesday I am in the Isle of Wight for the first time doing a Henry show - it should be fun.

A Happy New Henry Year

2009 dawns, so a Happy New Year to all regular readers of this nonsense. 2008 was a year of quite tumultuous change in my private life, however, Henry continues as per normal. Today sees 2009 kicking off with a talk to a local branch of U3A. "Who hell they?" I hear you cry. Well a few years ago I would have said the same thing, then my dear late lamented grandfather came home one day and proudly announced he had joined U3A, or University of the Third Age to give them their full title. With a name like that I imagined he'd end up brainwashed in a ranch near Waco with National Guardsmen trying to blow his eyebrows off with automatic rifles. But it is a rather groovy group of OAP's who like to learn new things and consequently they have meetings, talks, outings etc. It's like Saga crossed with the Rough Ramblers. Well I have been approached by the Crewkerne brance of U3A and I am doing a talk for them this afternoon. Wednesday I am in Southampton making my annual, but this time belated visit, to all my old chums at dear old Skandia Life, where I used to work. Then on Friday I am back on BBC Somerset for the Morning Panel - only without the Sainted Jo Phillips! SHE HAS LEFT!! ARGH! I am still in touch with the lovely lady, and her replacement is the almost equally gifted and lovely Emma Britton, so it's not all bad - but it just won't be the same! So if you get a chance to listen in to BBC Somerset this Friday between 9 and 10am, you will hear my dulcet tones - you lucky people!
Why the picture above? It makes me laugh. It was taken during my last run in Henry's Horrid History at Leeds Castle a year or so back and I am looking at the cup and ball game in my hand with a sort of quizzical look. Anyone care to put a caption to it? Email me at good_king_hal@yahoo.co.uk a special mention in this blog for the winning entry!

No New Posts - Sorry!

Hello folks. Many apologies for the long delay in any new posts on this blog. I have a very good excuse though! I have moved house, which was a bigger job than anyone could ever even begin to imagine. I have somehow managed to combine moving house with doing Henry shows as well, which is frankly some sort of insanity on my behalf and not something I would recommend for a long and restfull life.

Another good reason for not posting too many new blogs on here is because my new flat (which is LOVELY by the way) does not have any internet connection at the moment which makes getting on the internet a bit difficult. My TV also does not work at the new place, so entertainment is a bit thin on the ground at present. I am wading my way through my whole DVD collection at an alarming rate. I have opened the fridge door and watched the light come on and off. You name it, I have tried to entertain myself!

School visits have been as Henry to old friends like Ashcott near Glastonbury, St James' in Bridgwater, St Paul's in Shepton Mallet and this week up in White Woman Lane Junior in Norwich. I will do full and proper write ups on all of these when I can. I also did a World War II day as Sergeant Stanley James at Ditcheat School near Shepton Mallet. It went pretty well, but will again give full details when I can.

Anyway, my new phone number is 01460 271623 so should any schools feel the urge to contact me, carry on!

St Bartholomew's Church Fete

I was asked by my old friend Ann Ball (formerly of Axe Valley Players) if I would come along and be Henry at the St Bartholomew's Church Fete in Crewkerne today. I was delighted to accept.

If we are having an Indian Summer then we are in the depths of a monsoon season. Yesterday it poured and poured without a break, and really did not bode well for the Church Fete today. However, the sun was shining brightly, if a little bit watery, as Saturday dawned.

I parked in the car park nearest to the church and trundled my case over. I was to be working with the Crewkerne Town Crier again, the same chap I had worked with at the School Fete back in June. We had a truly lovely day, loads of people milling about, lots of fun and laughter with lots of different people, and plenty of money raised for the Church funds.

There was a fantastic alternative Morris Dancing group called the Tiddly Tigers or some such, who, though dressed in traditional Morris men gear then proceeded to dance to a very loud version of "Tiger Feet" by Mud, complete with thumbs stuck in waist bands and shoulders waving about (see Top of the Pops circa 1973 and you'll know what I mean!). It was truly hilarious. There was also a chap with them dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow from the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. He looked a lot like Johnny Depp, in a way that anyone would who stuck on a Johnny Depp/Captain Jack Sparrow costume and wore a false goatee beard with lots of eye liner on. Still, you pays your money, etc etc.

I popped back home for a quick moment to draw breath and then I am going over to Anne Ball's house to see her and her husband and she is going to cook supper. Smashing!

Tomorrow, I am over at Dillington House near Ilminster for their open day.

St Bartholomew's First School - Summer Fete

My son James attended St Bartholomew's First School in Crewkerne for a while and enjoyed every moment. It is a charming lovely little school. The headteacher there is a lovely man by the name of Michael Collins and he had asked me sometime ago if I would be available to appear at their summer fete. It was a pleasure to appear.

I arrived at about 5.30pm and got changed into my Henry gear. There was so much to do there. There were several stalls with the usual Treasure Hunt games and hook-a-duck, plus a grand prize draw with over 30 separate prizes to be won. There were burger stalls, a coconut shy, two bouncy castles (one enormous the other more child friendly), ice cream vans and there was also the Town Crier for Crewkerne as well as me there. Seeing us both together a couple of small children pointed and shouted "Ooh! Pirates!"

The place was packed out and everyone seemed to have a really good time. The local Atom Car company were there with one of their super sports cars offering a lucky dip for a free ride in the car. Loads of money seemed to be raised and luckily the weather managed to behave itself until almost the very end when a few spots of rain appeared.

A lovely evening.

BBC Somerset Bus

Another week and another appearance on Jo Phillips' "Morning Jo Show" panel on BBC Somerset. There were a couple of differences though. Firstly we weren't in the studio in Taunton but on the BBC Broadcast Bus in Market Street in Crewkerne. And secondly, there was no Emma Britton as she is away on holiday and her place was taken by Liam, the bus driver and he did a very passable impression. I was on the show with a couple of ladies, one from Crewkerne Town Council and another lady from Drimpton just up the road from Clapton. It is quite a snug fit inside the studio on the bus, but it was good fun, especially the chat about cows! You will know what I mean if you listen again on line!

After the show I wandered to the bank and then back to Bilby's for a cup of tea where I bumped into Annette, the lady from the Town Council again and we had a nice chat and she invited me to come to Crewkerne in November and turn on the Christmas lights as Henry! I accepted on the spot! Watch this space...

Tomorrow I am back at Blandford Camp in Dorset and it should be a good 'un!

West Huntspill School

Some years ago I visited a lovely little school at Westbury-sub-Mendip. I obviously made an impression as one of the teachers from that day has recently become the head teacher at West Huntspill School near Bridgwater. She remembered me and phoned last week for a booking. I had this day free in my diary and so she booked me!

West Huntspill is a truly wonderful school - it is currently under special measures following a bad OFSTED some time ago, but they are really putting things right in a big way. The actual facility is very good and the teachers are excellent - full of enthusiasm and a desire to make things better. And the children? Well they were just a delight! So much laughter in one day - it was life affirming and fun in the extreme. They lapped up all the Tudor information and laughed outrageously at even the lamest of my jokes. One young lady laughed so much one of her teeth fell out! Now I have never managed to have that effect on any member of my audience before, but I had probably better not make a habit of it.

After a fun morning and also having had lunch bought for me (which was greatly appreciated) it was back to the crime and punishment section and the stocks! A rip roaring joust capped the day admirably with another good win for a fine gents team who blew the ladies away in the final.

Tomorrow I am off to Crewkerne for another appearance on Jo Phillips "Morning Jo Show" on BBC Somerset. They are broadcasting "Live" from the middle of Crewkerne on the BBC Somserset bus. If you are in Crewkerne for the morning, come and say "Hello".

A Banquet at Awbridge near Romsey

I was invited today to go along to Awbridge Primary School in the village of Awbridge near Romsey in Hampshire to attend a banquet! The teacher from this school who had recommended and booked me is friends with little Jo, the charming teacher from Nelson Primary in East Ham. Its a small World sometimes.

I drove down and arrived slightly later than I wished, mainly due to the horrendous traffic in Salisbury town centre (as I remember all too well from my time working for Skandia Life in Southampton). The school was lovely and the teachers very welcoming. I quickly changed and was taken through to the main hall where the children were waiting for me all seated round a big table and in some fantastic costumes. As they got stuck into their chicken legs, rolls and apple pastries, I regailed them with some nice horrid Tudor stories and did some of my usual routine. I then played them some tunes on my dordrecht recorder, and then wandered round the table chatting to the children. They had also brought along some fiendish questions to ask me, and I did my best to answer them. Then the children played me some of their own compositions on their recorders, sang me a wonderful song and then displayed their Tudor dancing skills. Great stuff! I was then given a guided tour of the school by some of the children, met all the other children in the different classes (Hello Harry and your blue painting in year 1!). Then it was back to the hall for another demonstration of their Tudor dance skills, and then it was time for me to go. The two hours had just flown by!

I drove back to Somerset, then popped into Crewkerne for a haircut and some more shopping, and then got myself ready for our visit to my sister in Wales.