Walkabout, Radio & Hugh Sexey!

Good King Hal (centre), wrestling with a Yeti in a beret and his girlfriend.

Dear old Barrington Court! I hadn't done a walkabout for a while there, but Matthew Applegate and I have been hatching plans of late. As the main house is still bereft of furniture we have been pondering ways of utilising the space. One idea has been to have Henry Days at the house - just like the days I do when I visit schools, only in the wonderful surroundings of this glorious Tudor building. I had designed some leaflets advertising the events and so on the Sunday I wandered the corridors and gardens of Barrington handing them out. I met some lovely people, including one couple from South Woodham Ferrers in Essex which took me right back to my days working there for the East Essex Adult Community College in the William de Ferrers School in Trinity Square. Ah, happy, penniless days.

In the evening I was due back on air at United FM for the evening Mike Farley Show. However, due to circumstances beyond my control, mostly technical problems, though other things were occurring, the show had to be postponed at the last moment. So I won't be back on air with the show until next Sunday. Hopefully there will be a change in time as well as the show will be broadcast at the more friendly time of 9pm till 11pm. I shall keep you posted.

Monday morning I was up early again for a return visit to the delightfully named Hugh Sexey Middle School in Blackford near Wedmore. This was my fourth visit and as ever it was wonderful. It is always a big group, but they are so friendly and love joining in that it makes it a really easy day. It was nearly 160 children today and we had a riot. The teachers were lovely, so friendly and charming, and couldn't have been more encouraging and positive. Just what I needed after Friday. The day seemed to simply shoot past and, after a delicious pasta lunch, before I knew it we were at the jousting tournament. It was a closely fought contest, but the gentleman's team came away with a fine victory. I think this was mainly due to one little lad who I think was possibly the finest jouster I have seen in my six years of being Henry! He simply flew up and down the course and never missed a single target. Brilliant. Our score for the year now is:

GENTLEMEN 18 - 24 LADIES

I have today at leisure, which is nice. Then tomorrow I am on the road again heading back to Vectis, the Isle of Wight for a return visit to Haylands Junior in Ryde. See you there!

St Bernadette's School, Bristol

Good King Hal (left), trying to remove his foot from his mouth.

It is always with some trepidation that I visit Roman Catholic Schools in my guise as Henry VIII. Now even though Henry split from the Catholic Church, he remained a devout Catholic to the end of his life, but I am sure that won't cut much ice with some Papal fans! I am always very aware of Henry's reputation and I was similarly nervous approaching St Bernadette's School in Bristol yesterday. But I was very warmly welcomed by nearly everyone - it was a delight. Some of the female teachers there were absolutely lovely, and the Dutch gentleman, Walter, was a splendid chap who even laughed at my Walter joke. It goes something like:

A man at an airport sees another man carrying a very long pole. He approaches him and asks: "Are you a pole vaulter?"

"No" says the other man, "I'm German, but how did you know my name was Walter?" (Ba-doom-tish! Thank you very much, I am here all week!)

Well the day went marvellously - 60+ children all of whom seemed to adore the day and showed that they possessed terrific senses of humour and tremendous knowledge of the Tudor period. In fact I can safely say that by the end of the day I was very much aware that 99.9% of the people at St Bernadette's had really enjoyed the day. Yup, I was made very aware. It was just what I needed. One of the lady teacher's, Teresa, went so far to ask her class after the end of the show how good I was on a scale of 1 to 10, and the entire class shouted out 10. I can do no more than that.

Still, you can't please all of the people all of the time, no matter how hard you try.

The jousting was a lively and entertaining affair, which I assume didn't upset anyone, and the grand final was between two fabulous teams that ended in a narrow victory for the gentlemen. This now makes the year long score:

GENTLEMEN 17-24 LADIES

Interesting, very interesting!

This weekend I am back doing The Mike Farley Show on United FM between 10pm and midnight on Sunday night, though I am hoping to move it back an hour and make it a more easier listen for people on a "school night". Watch this space for more! I am at Barrington Court on Sunday between 1pm and 4pm for a Right Royal Walkabout, so if you read this blog, come and say hello. Then on Monday I am making a return visit to Hugh Sexey School in Wedmore for more Tudor nonsense!

Do I Look Like an Out of Bounds Kind of Guy?

The Jolly Roger. Oh, hang on, it's actually a picture of Mike Farley smiling with his arms crossed.

What a week. After the success of the previous week's Mike Farley Show I was in quite a buoyant mood. It couldn't last. I had to drive up to Essex to pick up James, my son, for our week in Wales, so at the top of the A303 I stopped for petrol. Both of my cards were rejected by the machine and I had no other way of paying. How embarrassing - being made to feel like a criminal is not fun. This had never happened to me before and I really hope with all my heart that it never happens again.

James and I were on our way down the M4 the next morning. Almost as soon as we were out of the Basildon conurbation, James was telling me how "bored" he was, and how much he was missing Mummy already. Luckily he got into his PSP games, and after stopping for lunch at a service station on the M4 he was soon armed with a copy of a Ben 10 magazine which kept him occupied as well. Our time in Wales was delightful with lovely weather and several days out, including a train trip to Cardiff so that James could visit the Doctor Who exhibition there. Honestly. It was for James. Not me. I wasn't excited in the slightest. OK, it was as much for me as it was for James, but it was great fun with some great exhibits and James was only slightly scared at one point which was the Dalek Battle room which was loud, dark and full of very angry Daleks! The only down point on the day was the awful train journey there. This is the height of the school holidays and how many coaches had the train company put on? Two. When the train arrived at Carmarthen station (where we got on) it was packed already, and at each extra stop more and more people got on. James and I had to stand all the way to Cardiff Central next to the disabled loo. We were packed in like sardines and to be honest it looked more like a train somewhere in the third world, except we didn't have anybody sitting on the roof, but I wouldn't have blamed anyone if they tried. And for this joy I had forked out over £15 for the privilege. Thank the Lord there wasn't an accident, and even more thankfully there wasn't a buffet trolley on the train as he would have definitely had to have gone on the roof. We finished our week with a day down at Tresaith which is a delightful secluded beach that not many people know about - so keep it to yourself and tell no one! As we came to leave on the Saturday morning James was now sobbing to his Nanna that he didn't want to go home and see Mummy! How things change in the space of four days! After a long drive back (I had to go back to the service station on the A303 and settle my bill!) James had changed his tune again and was now delighted to see his Mummy again. After dinner and Doctor Who I was then on my way back to Somerset.

Sunday was my second Mike Farley Show on United FM in Crewkerne. My guest this week was Marion Draper, local journalist for the Pullman's View From Crewkerne Newspaper. We had a great time and a good chat. Loads of emails from friends and listeners. Among the odd music I played this week were "Busy Doing Nothing" by Dave Stewart and Barbara Gaskin, "Hard Times of Old England Retold" by Billy Bragg and the Imagined Village, "My United States of Whatever" by Liam Lynch and "Teddy Picker" by The Arctic Monkeys. I shall be back next Sunday for another show between 10pm and midnight and you can listen in on www.unitedfm.co.uk

And if you're wondering about the title of this posting, it is my wife's favourite quote from Doctor Who and was spouted (if that is the right word) by Captain Jack Harkness, a quiet chap who you might not have noticed.

More Henry nonsense this week with a visit to St Bernadette's School in Bristol on Friday.

The Mike Farley Show

Mike Farley's mic, called Mike the Mic. I'd like to travel one day...

United FM in Crewkerne launched on Friday the 9th April. I was there for the original opening part. My parents had come to visit as well as it was my Father's birthday, so they got dragged along to the radio station HQ. We were there early and met David Laws, the fine MP for Yeovil, however we had to push off before the main, rock'n'roll guest, John "Rabbit" Bundrick, "live" keyboard player for The Who, turned up to cut the ribbon. It was a good launch and everyone seemed in high spirits. Later on the Friday my sister Cathy and her husband Julian turned up from Kent for a long overdue visit to my flat in Crewkerne. We had dinner with my parents at the Duke of York Pub in Shepton Beauchamp where I had celebrated my 43rd birthday in February. On the Saturday we all ventured over to Ilminster as my parents wanted to pay their usual visit to the august portals of Dyers Department Store there. We had a lunch at Bilby's in the High Street and then my parents headed back to Wales. Cath, Jules and I then drove over to Barrington Court and enjoying the fine weather had a nice leisurely stroll round the houses and gardens. We finished with a drink and a slice of lemon drizzle cake at the Beagles Cafe.

That evening we headed over to the Dinnington Docks Pub and all had vast platefuls of delicious faggots, mash and gravy for dinner. These plates were huge and really were just too much on top of everything else we'd scoffed and drunk through the day. We got back to my flat and sat around like three stone Buddhas.

On the Sunday morning Julian and I headed over to Ilchester and the car boot sale over there. I bought a few bits and pieces but we were soon home. A day of leisure was then had as first of all Cath and Julian watched some motorbike racing - don't ask me what it was or where it was but it seemed to go on forever. After that we watched Manchester City thrash Birmingham 5-1 which was wonderful to behold! Then we watched incredulously as Portsmouth beat Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 in the FA Cup Semi Final. Wonderful, amazing and totally unexpected. Cath particularly enjoyed looking at David James in his tight pink shirt.

This evening I did my first "Mike Farley Show" on United FM. I broadcast from 10pm to midnight and had a great time, really enjoyed myself with Cath and Julian sitting in the studio with me and joining in the banter. I played some of my favourite songs, such as "My Pink Half of the Drainpipe" by the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, to "All In My Head" by Kosheen, to "Earn Enough for Us" and "Then She Appeared" by XTC. The two hours seemed to shoot past, and I can't wait to do it all again next week! Hope you get a chance to listen next Sunday - 10pm on www.unitedfm.co.uk - you know you want to!

Off to Wales for the week now with James. Should be fun!

Andy Partridge interview

Skylarking by XTC from 1986. The single most wonderful record in the history of the Universe. (Possible slight exaggeration, but it is jolly good anyway).

This was a day I thought would never happen. I have been a fan of XTC for so long now. Well over 20 years I have listened to their clever, intelligent, catchy, melodic, annoying, heart-rending, beautiful, wistful music. To me Andy Partridge, main songwriter and singer with the group, has been this icon - a genius of God-like stature, unapproachable, untouchable, almost unreal. A short while ago I got involved with helping with the formation of a local community based radio station in Crewkerne called United FM. They have asked me to present a late night radio show at weekends playing music of all sorts into the wee small hours. I asked if I could have a regular evening slot called "Sheer XTC" where I can play a fine sweep of the works of Swindon's finest product since the Great Western Railway. The management of the station agreed. I then wondered if there was any chance I could sort out an interview or appearance by Mr Partridge at the station, but how to get hold of him? Andy has his own record label now called "Ape House Records" and on hunting down their website (http://www.ape.uk.net/) I sent a rather hopeful email and didn't really expect much to happen. But, boy did it ever happen! I got an email from Andy's assistant saying that he was very happy to do an interview, but it would have to be over the phone as he didn't drive and getting to Crewkerne could be a bit of a "pain in the..." (well, you work it out!).

After much umming and ahhing it was finally settled that the interview would take place at 1.30pm on Thursday March 18th. After various technical difficulties were sorted out by Greg the brilliant techie at United FM, I tentatively phoned Andy on the number I had been given by the record label. And suddenly I was on the phone with Andy Partridge. He was real. He was friendly, and he was laughing at some of my very lame jokes. What a nice chap. I had been booked to speak to Andy for 20 minutes - we ended up talking for over an hour. When the recording had finished Andy wanted to continue the conversation, so we then talked for another 20 minutes, off the record, so to speak which was equally friendly and enlightening. We finally parted with Andy inviting me to Swindon for dinner at a very nice Spanish restaurant that he highly recommended. How fantastic was that? The interview could not have gone better and I am delighted to announce that Andy Partridge is now definitely not a God. No, he seems for more like a close friend, which is truly wonderful.

I am back to being Henry on Friday with a banquet to do at Awford in Hampshire in the afternoon. Should be fun.

Apple Venus from 1999. Another pretty good XTC album. (Alright, it's totally bloody brilliant, but don't take my word for it - buy it!).

Birthday Party and Friends (the school, not the sickly American sit-com)

(left) Good King Hal waiting for his daughter to finish on the throne. Then it's his turn. Damn those scallops!

This weekend just gone was fabulous. On the Friday night, Amanda and James drove down from Essex and came and stayed with me for the evening. (We had the added excitement of a next door neighbour's motorhome exploding in the wee small hours and frying all my telephone lines - I think the neighbours were just trying to let my Basildon based wife feel at home! Sorry dear, I'll get my coat...) Then on Saturday it was time for my birthday party! The evening was spent at the very fine Duke of York pub in Shepton Beauchamp near Ilminster. Sitting down for dinner was myself, Amanda, James, my parents, my sister Cathy and her husband Julian from Kent, friends Jo and Pete Flanagan, Matthew and Sue Applegate, Tris and Jane Pinkney, and Alison Barling and her other half Ian Thomas. A splendid time seemed to be had by all. James was so good all evening, chatting, playing, being cute, but most of the time entranced by his Nintendo DS game! Lovely food and drink was had (I had scallops to begin with and then a fine gammon steak) and lots of fun and laughter. A very nice way to celebrate my 43rd birthday!

On the Sunday I drove myself and James back to Essex (Amanda made her own way) as on the Monday I was to appear at Friends School in Saffron Walden. I headed out bright and early on the morning, and attempted to avoid the M25 and M11, which seemed like a good idea. It was, for most of the way, but I did get held up in a couple of spots, particularly one where a head on crash had just occurred before I got there. Adding to my fun was that my windscreen washers ran out of water just after I set off and what with the low sun and spray from the road I was soon virtually driving in braille. I arrived at the school but couldn't get round to the "scout hut" hall we always use on my normal route, so I had to go in through a rear entrance with a code for the padlock given to me by the office. It didn't work. In the end I had to park in a crappy mud field what seemed like about half a mile from the scout hut and squish and slide across this carrying the props in. The group today was only 11 children, and small groups are notoriously hard to entertain. But this group were pretty cool and laughed and joined in at all the right moments. Lunch in the grand hall was as good as it always is at Friends School - a quorn sweet and sour served with rice and prawn crackers. Delicious!

Back to the scout hut for a slightly truncated afternoon session (we were evicted from the hall by a ballet class at about 2.30pm). The jousting was great fun and surprisingly loud for such a small group. And even though there were only three girls in the whole group, I bet you can't guess who won the tournament? Yup, the ladies stormed to a remarkable victory. This now makes our ongoing year score:

GENTLEMEN 12 - 19 LADIES

They are starting to get away from you gents! I mostly have a week of leisure ahead, doing some work for United FM, the local radio group. I seem to have managed to sort out an interview with Andy Partridge, lead singer of XTC and an all time hero of mine to be recorded for broadcast, something I am totally chuffed about! Next week I am off to Blandford Camp and Wimborne in Dorset for two school visits, but the filming for the TV documentary has been postponed AGAIN. I have a feeling this might never happen now. However, I will keep you posted.

Grange Junior, Swindon

Anne of Cleeves keeping her fingers crossed that this isn't really "handsome" King Henry, just a bizarre cross between an orangutan and a water bed.

Ah, Swindon! Swindon! Home of the Great Western Railway! Birthplace of Saint Billie of the Pipers! The starting point of Melinda Messenger's awesome career! And we can blame it for Mark Lamarr... But it is also home to XTC, the finest, most underrated, fantastic, creative, original, melodic rock band Britain has produced in 40 years. As you can tell from that rabid, frothing at the mouth sentence I am a bit of a fan. This is a bit like saying Billy Graham is a touch evangelical.

I had last come to visit Grange Junior in Swindon about two years ago. This show had been postponed for a week as the school had to endure an Ofsted inspection the previous date we had arranged. It was a large group - about 90 children, but they were really great. Fantastically excitable, full of enthusiasm, ready to laugh and all of them bright as buttons. I was warmly welcomed by the teachers and also the caretaker who, it turned out, had been to school with Andy Partridge (main man in the aforementioned XTC - just thought you should know). I was also grabbed by another teacher who had seen me about four years ago when I appeared at North Somerset Museum in Weston-super-Mare (you'll probably find my blog about that in the archives!). She said I was very funny and a bit rude. I don't know what she means! I was equally warmly welcomed by the lovely school secretary who could quite easily have a fabulous career as a wench if she wanted to.

After a very pleasant lunch and a sit down it was back for the madness for the afternoon. The stocks were a riot with some of the children getting almost too excited, especially the Mayor of Swindon (he knows who he is!). The jousting was amazing. Both the gents teams in their final were a little...ahem...clumsy? To be honest I thought they were the two most incompetent teams I had ever seen and I reckoned whoever got through to the final against the ladies would be absolutely trounced. Quoits were sent flying, quintaines were knocked over, wrong directions were gone in and various members of each team were nearly run through with loose lances! And yet....come the main final against a really good ladies team - THEY WON! Can you believe it? They stormed to victory! This now makes our score:

GENTLEMEN 10 - 14 LADIES

It's hotting up! Next week I am in Norfolk for a couple of days at Caister and Drayton.

In the evening when I got back I was down at United FM, the prospective new radio station for Crewkerne, recording some jingles and adverts ahead of their "live" launch. Check them out at www.unitedfm.co.uk and see if anything is happening yet!