Knights in Shining Karma

Meanwhile, back on the shelf, demon plasterer, Hank Corkpopper suddenly devised a whole new version of "University Challenge" for use in zero-g situations. Erroneous society hostess, Hortence Mouth-Breather is on the far right of the photo, brandishing the all leather boil lancing kit she won at the Hay-on-Wye literary festival. When suddenly...

I must definitely still be in a post-Andy Partridge interview fog, as for some reason at the end of the last blog entry I stated I was going to a banquet in Awford in Hampshire. What a coad of lobblers, as the Rev Spooner might have put it. There is no such place, as far as I know. I was actually going to Awbridge, near Romsey. I left with plenty of time to spare, but I got stuck in that famous bottle neck known to all and sundry as Salisbury. So as it was I actually arrived about five minutes late at the school, but it was OK, they all seemed very laid back about it! I got changed and was ushered into the hall where I was confronted by a big group of teachers, school children AND their parents! I was heralded in by two trumpeters and then greeted all the children in their Tudor finery. Next, after taking my seat at the head of the table I was treated to a fine example of Tudor dancing. We then ate a fine Tudor meal of pottage, ladies fingers, marzipan treats and lashings of home made ginger ale, which unfortunately tasted rather a lot like cold lemsip made up with cat urine, however everything else was delicious. I did a small Henry talky bit about the six wives, was then serenaded by a recorder trio, then a flautist, then a violinist, and then we had some study of a big painting of the Field of the Cloth of Gold, and almost as soon as it had started, it was over! It was a lovely little interlude at a truly wonderful school.

Early on the Saturday I drove to Wales to spend the weekend with my parents at their lovely new home in Newcastle Emlyn. The weather was mostly awful, but it was lovely to see them both and I ate and drank far too much, so Henry is back on his diet with a vengeance today! We had dinner on the Saturday night at The Daffodil Pub in a village I can't even spell, let alone pronounce. And then on the Sunday, after a nice bracing walk in the morning we drove to Cenarth and the Three Horseshoes Pub where we had a gorgeous roast beef dinner in wonderfully old world surroundings, and all with good beer, bizarrely Christmas carols on the sound system, and a gigantically chested waitress. What more could you ask for?

I drove back to Somerset on the Monday morning, and took the day relatively easily, before meeting up with Matthew Applegate from Barrington Court at the Duke of York pub in Shepton Beauchamp for a wee beer or two. Today, Tuesday I have been back to Trull School just outside Taunton for my fifth annual visit to this lovely school. We had yet another fantastic day, a very small group, only about 28 children, but in superb costumes and all very knowledgeable and excited about the day. Just before lunch we de-camped to the ancient church opposite the school for some suitably silly posed photos of Henry with the children. After lunch we whipped through a fine, fun afternoon that culminated in a very exciting jousting tournament that went to a sudden death race off in the final, which resulted in that rarest of things this year - a win for the gentlemen! This now makes our score:

GENTLEMEN 14 - 23 LADIES

Not quite respectable for the gents yet, but it is slowly getting better. Just watching Wolves take poor old West Ham to the cleaners tonight, then later this week I am back off to Little Parndon School in Harlow on Friday and then back to Wickford Junior in...er...Wickford on Monday. All should be fun. We are also editing the Andy Partridge interview (keeping everything crossed) next Tuesday.

Trull again!

For five years I have been coming to Trull school, but I had never been in quite like this before! My new Sat Nav, still smarting from being out manoeuvred by the elderly Doris yesterday (see previous blog entry), decided to get it's own back on me today. The easiest and most straightforward way to get to Trull is go right through the middle of Taunton and turn off just before you get to the turn off for Musgrove Park Hospital - keep going then turn off to your left and there you find the lovely village of Trull in all it's quaintness. But not today, oh no. My sat nav started squawking about turning off and going another way - I was early and thought what the heck, let's give it a try. It ended up being like a Somerset countryside version of the Paris-Dakkar rally. I went down some of the smallest roads you have ever seen and nearly got wiped out by two insane farmers in their 4x4's. But it did make me appreciate even more than before just how lovely Trull is as a village, and what a fantastic school it is as well.

I was warmly greeted but then had to sit around for three quarters of an hour as their was a school assembly, this eventually finished and we were off and running. It was nice to hear so much enthusiasm and knowledge from the children as the day progressed. They knew a lot of good Tudor stuff! After a first class morning of fun and frolics, I popped up to the little shop in Trull village for some lunch. The choice of food was far superior to yesterday, but then a UNICEF feeding station probably has a better choice of fast foods than yesterday. So I got a nice looking sandwich, a bottle of drink and a pepperami - all going well so far. Would I like a bag to put this all in? Not 'arf! The nice lady in the shop gets out a second hand plastic bag and stuffs my grub in it and hands it over - only for me to discover that the previous contents of the bag seem to have been most world stocks of moth balls. So I got back to the school and moth balls, and ate my chicken sandwich with moth balls, nibbled a pepperami with moth balls and swigged a few mouth fulls of Pepsi Max - now with added moth balls. All that and not a Rock Hyrax in sight.

The afternoon was insane, loads of pictures were taken and a very tightly contested joust was won by the ladies with a quoit or two to spare (and some moth balls).

I drove home in the howling wind and rain and by now, just after eight o'clock, I am ready for bed already. Poor old devil. Tomorrow I am back on BBC Somerset with the lovely Emma Britton on the morning show. Please listen in!

Trull Primary School

It was a third year running visit to the village of Trull just outside Taunton today. Now, no visit to Trull is complete without the joy of going through a Taunton rush hour. The place is a nightmare, just such a bottleneck. A journey which should only really have taken me about half an hour took far nearer an hour.

But it was good to be back, because Trull is a lovely school. The children had all dressed in some wonderful costumes today, every single one of them! Even the Deputy Head was sporting some very groovy pantaloons and complaining that his football socks were making his calves itch.

Judy Picton had already finished renovating one of my costumes and so that was given an outing today and it received rave reviews from all who saw it.

After a fine morning of some delays but mostly good fun, we had some photos taken over in the churchyard opposite the school before lunch was taken with one of the teachers telling some remarkably dotty stories about her chickens! How could I follow that?

Well the afternoon was equally fun. Some superb stocks fun and then a jousting session to savour with the gents just pipping a good ladies team to the title. A wonderful day and already talk about another return visit next year. It would be my pleasure. Next stop - back to Little Parndon in Harlow.