Britain's Next Top Model

In my extended family we have a supermodel. It’s true! Her name is Lily Cole and she looks like a little china doll (as you can see right) – a typical supermodel. From a distance she looks like a spoon with a ginger wig on. Closer examination makes her look like one of the aliens from Close Encounters – also in a ginger wig. But now my family might suddenly have a new supermodel in it’s midst as I did my first ever photo shoot as a professional model! It’s true – stop laughing. I had been contacted by the Royal Parks Society for a promotional shoot advertising their forthcoming Half Marathon in Hyde Park.
I rose at the crack of dawn and headed up to Crewkerne Station to catch the 6.42 to London Waterloo. I pilfered a seat and settled down with my John O’Farrell book and promptly fell asleep. The sleeping was a good idea as it made the journey a lot shorter (or just seemed shorter) – perhaps I should try that next time I am driving a long distance? During my lucid moments it was nice to see the English summer countryside rushing by, with one small complaint – too much foliage. You’d get a glimpse in the distance of some interesting looking building and it would then just be swallowed up by greenery. Chop it all down! On entering central London it was nice to see the Houses of Parliament, the London Eye and even the MI5 building as we swept into Waterloo. I trundled the ridiculously heavy Henry costume in it’s suitcase on wheels out of the front of the building and over to the Taxi rank. A very nice driver took me up to Hyde Park and to the Royal Parks office at the Old Police House which is a bit of a misnomer as the place is still used by loads of Police! I was greeted by some lovely ladies from the Royal Parks people and, after quickly getting into the Henry gear we were soon driving over to Kensington Gardens for the photo shoot near the Round Pond. The photographer was a nice guy called Andy Lane, and there was, among others, Sophie Rivett-Carnac from Forster plus Hannah Cottrill and Sally Barney from the Royal Parks, plus Sarah Igglesden who was to be our “jogger” for the photo shoot. The set up was me as Henry, armed with shears, with a topiary figure of a runner which I am supposed to be trimming, while Sarah runs past behind me, causing me to cast a glance over my shoulder. We did this over and over, all slightly different positions, poses etc, with lots of bizarre glances being chucked our way by bemused passers by. We tried almost every permutation you could imagine, and then moved on to having Henry sitting at a park bench reading a newspaper as Sarah jogs by – these produced some of the funniest shots of the day, and masses of interest from various tourists walking past.
With the photo shoot complete myself and one of the lovely ladies from Royal Parks (sorry I forgot your name!) walked the topiary figure back towards the Serpentine Art Gallery balanced on a glorified wheelbarrow. The sight of England’s greatest post medieval monarch walking a wheelbarrow across Kensington Gardens with a topiary figure balanced on the top was almost too much for some tourists and we became a target for many a camera lens. We paused briefly to rest as the whole thing was very heavy, and a very nice lady taking her dog for a walk came over to see this bizarre site and ask what the heck was going on. It was Jenny Seagrove! The gorgeous actress from Judge John Reed and Local Hero and A Woman of Substance. I explained my job as Henry VIIIth and what we had been up to today; she thought it sounded a hoot. I kissed her hand and thanked her for Local Hero as it is still one of my all time favourite movies. She was just lovely.
After a quick cup of tea at the Old Police House I was driven down to Hyde Park Corner where I hailed a cab and was soon on my way to Waterloo. Another lovely driver, we had a good chat and I was soon on the concourse. Sadly my train wasn’t due for 40 minutes, so I grabbed a sandwich from M&S and sat on my case waiting for the time to arrive. I was one of the first on and got myself a seat. By the time we got to Salisbury the train split in two with only the first three carriages going on towards Crewkerne where I wanted to go. Of course everyone from the back three carriages came forward and packed though we already were, we were soon even MORE packed. A little old lady staggered on, so I offered her my seat. She accepted less than graciously, but I refrained from my desire to punch her teeth down her throat and throw her off the train as we thundered through Tisbury. I stood all the way from Salisbury in the corridor by the loo. Very nice. So glad I paid £78 for this privilege. I was forced to look on as a very smug young couple sat being smug, young and in love in one of the comfy looking seats, the particularly smug looking young lady with her ickle wickle doggy woggy in her arms, feeding it ickle wickle treatsy weatsies. Another two doomed for a quick exit near Tisbury methinks.
Home for cuddles with the cat and a bottle of Aussie Shiraz to celebrate. Watch yer back Lily Cole – I could be the next “willowy one” in the family…

Henry's Horrid History

Past Presence Ltd Presents...

Henry's Horrid History

or

The Life and Times of Henry VIIIth

at

Barrington Court National Trust Property

Friday August 29th 2008 7.30pm

Tickets £7.50 adults

£5.00 children

Call 01460 241938 to book tickets

Featuring the UK's number one professional Henry VIIIth re-enactor, Good King Hal! History, laughter and music combine for an unforgettable experience in beautiful Tudor surroundings. Not suitable for children under 10.

http://www.goodkinghal.co.uk/

Dementia Care Trust, Weston-super-Mare

Sometime ago, whilst making one of my many appearances at Barrington Court, a very nice lady asked for my details as she thought I might be suitable for a luncheon club she knew of, which was part of the Dementia Care Trust. All this while later I was contacted about a month or so ago and asked to attend on this day.

It takes about an hour to get up to Weston from Clapton, and the weather today was lousy in the extreme. The added fun was that a brand new superstore had been built where my Sat Nav said I had to go, so ignoring Doris' complaints I drove past it and on, and she eventually calmed down and found where I wanted to go. After dashing in and getting changed, I was on almost straight away. There must have been about 50 people there, some carers, some of them sufferers of dementia, but the talk went down really well - lots of laughs, and the original lovely lady from Barrington there again with her daughter! I did about an hour and finished to loud applause. I quickly changed back into my civvies and was invited to join the group for lunch. We had a lovely meal of roast pork followed by cinammon rice pudding - delicious. I sat and chatted to a charming couple, the gentleman being a former clown, called Jackie the Clown, who though in the early stages of dementia is trying to write his memoirs about his wartime service with the RAF and his work in entertaining the troops. His book he hopes to have published will be called "The Clown Who Went To War" - remember you heard it here first folks.

I will be taking part in a photo shoot next Monday up at Hyde Park for the Royal Parks Society. More info as and when I know it myself.

Tudor Day at Southchurch Hall

Sunday saw me back in Sunny Essex for a visit to Southchurch Hall Museum in Southend for their annual Tudor Day. I had no idea this was such a big event - as I arrived re-enactors were setting up already with various stalls showing how a fletcher works, plus a potter, a scrivener, various herbalists and even a guy with a genuine ancient lathe.

My opening part of the day was just a walkabout meet and greet, which was great as the place was packed. As I wandered round the side of the house a figure suddenly ran full tilt from one of the doors, straight at me. He was dressed as a peasant, and with a great leap prostrated himself at my feet.

"MAJESTY!" He yelled at top volume. Everyone turned and looked towards us. "GRAVE NEWS FROM PORTSMOUTH!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. I was a little taken aback and wasn't sure quite how to react. He then launched into a full 15 minute account of the sinking of the Mary Rose in old English, complete with screaming, eye rolling, hand ringing, lots of sweating and more over acting than a container truck full of Robert Newtons. On finishing he walked away from me to the sound of polite applause and the occasional child saying "Mummy, I'm scared." About two hours later, whilst sitting on my throne in the main hall having a rest, there is a blur or movement and suddenly this lunatic is launching into his Mary Rose routine all over again. More screaming, sweating, shaking and hollering, and as we are indoors this time, as he finishes there is a group of about 100 people looking on. He walks out of the room to polite applause and all 100 pairs of eyes turn towards me expecting something similar. I smile lamely at them and then say "And now, the weather..." which got a great laugh.

My two talks went really well, especially the second one outside which attracted something like 150 people all round me as I went through the usual Henry stuff. I met some lovely people at the do, especially the wonderful man who works at Hampton Court Palace and has promised possible great things in the future. Also a big "Hello" to the lovely people from the St John's Ambulance people and the delightful Lisa from Southend Pier!

It was a great day and a joy to perform at. I am really looking forward to going back there again next August. Tomorrow, Tuesday, I am doing an after lunch talk for the Dementia Care Trust Charity in Weston-super-Mare, and no, before you ask, not on the pier.

Cobbaton Combat Museum, Devon

Here we see Matthew Applegate, Visitors Services Manager at Barrington Court, showing utter disdain for Hitler and his entire war machine, by posing in front of a Sherman Tank a good 60 years after the war finished.

It was our "lads day out"! Matthew and I had been planning for a few weeks for a trip to Cobbaton Combat Museum, a privately owned collection of militaria in the Devon countryside, so we could enjoy looking at the tanks, but also so we could have a look at their prices when it came to de-activated weapons and uniforms (all for research into my forthcoming WWII Home Guard shows). I picked up Matthew from Barrington Court at about 11am and we drove down the M5 and turned off at the Tiverton exit. We fairly quickly found the museum, but it was more than definitely lunch by this time and as I had done the driving and paid for the fuel, Matthew offered to buy lunch. I refused his offer of a Pot Noodle and a glass of water and instead we began a hunt for a pub, and what a pub did we find! We drove to the village of Chittlehampton and went into the Bell Inn. If you are down in this area of Devon I can highly recommend it - great food and fabulous beer. I would have been quite happy to stay there all day, but it was time to head back to Cobbaton and the museum.

It was an interesting stroll round the exhibits and they have some marvellous stuff there, but by God do they need a Museum Manager. Most of the exhibits are caked in dust, and we are talking YEARS-WORTH rather than just weeks. Quite a few of the photo exhibits are water or condensation damaged and a major portion of the entire exhibition seems to be cobwebs. Most of the tanks and people carriers seem to be used as storage cupboards as well as exhibits. You also find large swathes of exhibits with absolutely no information on them at all - you just have to guess. Despite me sounding very negative, please understand this museum is well worth a visit - but it could be so much better.

Back to Somerset we tried to stop for a pint somewhere but were just a bit too early for anywhere to be open yet, so it was back to Matthew's flat in Strode House and a cup of tea. Very nice, but a pint would have been better!

This weekend it is up to Essex for an appearance as Henry at Southminster Museum in Southend. See you there.

Cricket!

This Saturday just gone was the annual Clapton v Wayford long grass cricket match. As you can see from the picture on the right, the pitch was a little...ahem...rough, and helpful to all the bowlers. Now you have to remember that Clapton is a small village just outside Crewkerne in Somerset, and Wayford is a tiny hamlet attached to Clapton. So who had the most players who turned up? Yup! Wayford. I played for my village, Clapton, for the fourth year running. I hadn't intended to play, being somewhat hampered by being the size of the R101 and also having had a dodgy ankle for the past year, but David Lockyer came round and after showing me a photo of W.G. Grace and sobbing into a copy of Wisden's Almanack he convinced me to turn out.

For the first time in many years it was a beautiful day - if anything, it was too hot. But a splended match was played and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Wayford won the toss and inexplicably decided to bat. Clapton took regular wickets, but a couple of their players made big scores. Playing in the match reminded me just what it is I love about cricket - it is such a contest on so many levels, cerebral as well as physical. Now I haven't played regularly since I left Essex over 10 years ago, and when I was first brought on to bowl by my captain, David, the incumbent Wayford batsman was a young strapping lad of about 18, covered in muscles and obviously someone who had played a lot of village cricket and he seemed determined to smote me to all corners of the ground. So I took him on, firing in deliveries to his toes, or if he charged down the pitch to me, I would drop the ball in short and make him worry about where the hell it was going to go. And if you had seen the pitch, trust me you'd know it was a mind bender. Just a strip of grass mown short and then with a Land Rover driven over it a few times. My first over to him, despite some huge heaves he took at my slow trundling deliveries, was a maiden - perfect. He finally got me away for a four in my second over, but that was the only scoring shot he got off me. I was very happy! I snaffled a couple of late wickets to give me figures of 4-1-15-2. I was pleased with my work. We contained Wayford to 134 from their 30 overs.

After a lovely tea interval it was our turn to bat, and after a sparkling start from David and sundry others, we got a bit bogged down in the middle order, with poor old Charlie Swaffield unable to connect his swishing bat to any ball, time after time! By the time I came in, quick runs were the order of the day and I scampered through (OK, waddled) to get to three before being caught in the deep off a desperate heave. Clapton succumbed to 116 all out. So Wayford won for the first time in three years, but it was just a complete joy to play in such a lovely atmosphere.

In the evening I wandered over to Barrington Court and watched an hilarious comedy history show about all of England's monarchs down the years. Obviously their impersonation of Henry VIIIth was not a patch on mine (I wish!) but the rest of the show was brilliant.

A visit to Cobbatton Combat Museum with Matthew Applegate of Barrington is the order of the day this Wednesday. I shall report back then!

St Michael's School, Twerton

It was time for my final school appearance of the academic year and it was to be a brand new school for me - St Michael's in Twerton on the outskirts of Bath. I always forget just how long it takes to get to Bath from here - just over an hour or so, but luckily the traffic wasn't too bad and I made pretty good time. Earlier this month I had visited Paulton Junor near Bath (see this blog passim) and we had enjoyed a really fabulous day at that lovely school. Well the teacher I dealt with there, her other half is head teacher at Twerton, hence how they came to know about me so soon!

Now it may have been a small group today, only about 45 at most, but by God what they lacked in numbers they more than made up for in noise! Back in the 70's Monty Python released various books and in one of them there was a pretend advert for a series of albums called "Records for the Deaf" and it contained such delights as "Lulu Shrieks George Gershwin" and "This is Concorde!" each with however many decibels each album was. Well, if that advert had been for real, they could record the group I had today and THEY could be released as an album for the deaf. The day shot past in a very jolly manner with some fabulously over excited children and some charming teachers and classroom assistants.

After a lovely lunch of chicken pie with oodles of gravy the afternoon was almost a blur. The jousting competition was of some of the highest quality you could want to see with the gents just pipping the ladies in the final. What lovely day!

This has been a fabulous year with visits here there and everywhere. From doing the King's Royal Progress back in August 2007, via Henry's Horrid History at Leeds Castle in October, from frequent chats with Jo Phillips on BBC Somerset and also through Barrington Court and the Ilminster Festival, thanks to everyone who has been involved so far. There is so much more to come.

Birchfield School & then a kick in the teeth!

And it all started so well... I set my alarm bright and early for the short drive over to Birchfield Primary School in Yeovil, but then promptly fell asleep. I was re-awoken by my cat patting my face and demanding breakfast. A morning that had promised to be a nice relaxed slow get ready and go turned into a panic fuelled stagger around amid much swearing and nearly falling downstairs. Somehow I managed to arrive at the school on time and was greeted by the same wonderful teacher as before - such a sweet lady! And all the other staff were wonderful. It was a good sized group of children, two classes, and they were very excitable and were challenging at times. But the day went really well and there were laughs aplenty. The jousting was of high quality and I really thought the ladies were going to walk away with it, but in the final the gents managed to get ahead and held on for a fine win, amid much screaming and cheering!

I had just loaded everything into the car for the journey home when I got a voicemail message on my mobile. It was from Emma Vulliamy from Channel 4 who I was due to be filming with tomorrow near Wellington. The owners of the Tudor stately pile where I was due to meet them and film, decided that my travel expenses were too much for them to afford and I was no longer needed for the show. A bit of a kick in the teeth to say the least as I was really looking forward to this opportunity. Emma was full of apologies and said unfortunately it was out of her hands, and that she was disappointed as she and the crew had been looking forward to working with me. An unfortunate end to a funny old day...

Next week I am at St Michael's School near Bath for the last Henry day in a school for the academic year. And what a year it's been.

Paulton Junior - Carmarthen - BBC Somerset

Last Friday, after a dreadfully bad sleep, I was up bright and early for what was to prove to be a long day. The school visit to Paulton, just to the south of Bath and Bristol, was wonderful. Such a superb school! The kids were brilliant, laughing uproariously at most of the gags - one little girl in particular with a booming chuckle was in hysterics for most of the day! The teachers were charming and great fun to be with, and I can honestly say that I haven't enjoyed a school as much as that for a long time. Probably not since the heady days of Ian Gouge at West Pennard - hello Ian! After a belting Joust I was then on my way - but not home. I was heading up to Wales to visit my sister, her husband and my parents who were visiting her for her birthday. We had a really joyous weekend, lots of fun and laughs and probably too much to eat. On the Sunday we had a lovely visit to Laugharne, the home of Dylan Thomas and then had a fine light lunch at the Owl and the Pussycat Restaurant. I drove home at about 6.30pm on the Sunday evening and got back home at about 10pm.

I was up bright and early on the Monday morning as I was off to BBC Somerset for ANOTHER appearance on Jo Phillips' "Morning Jo Show" morning panel. It was great to see Jo again, she was looking as delightful as ever. Emma Britton was missing today, recovering from a Hen Weekend in Bournemouth! It was a great show and one well worth listening to again, which you can do at www.bbc.co.uk/somerset and choose the "Listen Again" feature.

On Thursday this week I am doing some filming for Channel 4 - more info about that on this blog later in the week. Before that I am back for a return visit to Birchfield School in Yeovil on the Wednesday. This is going to be a nice week.

An Important Request

At approximately 12.30pm today, while I was out and about, a school phoned and left a message for me. Unfortunately, the quality of the line was so bad that I just cannot make out who the school is or even what their phone number is. If by some miracle you are reading this blog and you know a school has tried to contact me, can you ask them to try again! And if I'm not here can they speak up when leaving a message. It is a woman's voice, the school seems to have a double-barrelled name and the final three digits of the telephone number seem to be 229, but don't quote me on that. I have listened to the message over and over, and still cannot understand a clear word at all, apart from the fact that they loved my outgoing message. So please if you are that school. I am not ignoring you - I just don't know who you are!

Actually, come to think of it - a lot of people read this blog (I know that as the hit counter keeps going up and up very quickly), so show me you read it by leaving me messages! I would very much appreciate that.

Sometime later that same day...

It was Ditcheat Primary School! HOORAY!! Another case solved by Henry VIIIth and his intuitive powers (and the internet).

What a Silly King...

Now, one of the first things you must do when putting all your forthcoming Henry appearances on a calendar, is that if any get postponed or cancelled, scribble them out straightaway. Back in September 2007 I was contacted by Daubeney School in Bedford to say that my impending visit on the 8th July 2008 would have to be shifted to another date. Nothing was ever finalised and so consequently the 8th July 2008 is now a non-day for me. But of course I, being a very silly King, didn't cross it off my calendar all those months ago. So today I have been preparing paperwork, cleaning costumes and preparing to buy vast quantities of petrol, when luckily I checked some old emails. I was only really checking to see what price I had quoted Daubeney as the prices have changed this year. And there it was on my screen, in black and white - day cancelled! Good job I looked. So, in the words of Spike Milligan from the wonderful Q-series (all together now):

What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) Etc. etc. ad infinitum.

Wandsworth and Bishop's Stortford

I always know when it is time for me to visit Finton House School in Wandsworth. There are always certain hints and clues that it is that time of year again. Firstly, it is Wimbledon Fortnight, and secondly, on the drive to the school you will always hear the words on the radio weather forecast "today is likely to be the hottest day of the year so far!" And it happened again this year! With temperatures on Tuesday rocketing to the upper 20's I knew I was going to be in for a hard time of it in the robes, so I reduced my overheating chances by not wearing my Henry "bodice" today and went for the plain shirt and pantaloons look. Much more agreeable. It was a small group as ever at Finton House, but a nice one. About 25 children, all girls bar one lad! Very strange. They were a remarkably quiet group during the morning, but perked up a bit by lunchtime, and the afternoon was a real hoot with some great moments, particularly in the jousting when, unsurprisingly with their huge advantage in numbers, a team of just ladies won. The drive out of Wandsworth and over to my parents in Essex was enough to make you want to chew your own foot off. It was slow, hot, bad tempered and chock full of cars wherever I went. But at last I made it. For a large part of the journey the temperature sensor on the outside of my trust Peugeot reckoned it was 35 degrees outside and I could almost believe it.

Today found me making a first appearance at a new school. I was off to Hillmead Junior in Bishop's Stortford, a really nice school with some genuinely lovely teachers there who were very friendly, especially the charming South African lady who looked after the reception class children. Again it was a small group of about 25, but a much more diverse mix and we had a really lovely day. Lots of laughs and fun and some of the children showing some quite brilliant knowledge of the Tudors. One young lady got a perfect score on my Tudor quiz, not something that happens very often. Well done to her!

After a rip roaring jousting session I was on my way and the journey home was slightly less fraught than the long march back from Wandsworth the day before, despite the A414 being gridlocked in one place.

Had dinner with my parents and my wife and son - lovely fish and chips from the good Fish'n Chick'n Bar in Rayleigh Road, Hutton. And then after watching Andy Murray being steam rollered into submission by Rafal Nadal I was on my way and back home. Ah! Bed!

Early morning photo shoot for Western Gazette

Chris Sweet, Crewkerne based writer for the Western Gazette Newspaper, is doing an article about me next week. It is all about the launch in September of the new improved re-enactment company entitled Past Presence Ltd. He was hoping to arrange a photographer from the Wester Gazette to be around last night at the St Bartholomew's School Fete, but most of them had scarpered to the Glastonbury Festival apparently. Anyway, he phoned again yesterday and said he had found someone who could do the photo shoot today (Saturday), but that the photographer would be with me at 9am.

The picture you see with this entry is how I looked at about 8.45am when the front door bell went and the photographer I had completely forgotten about turned up. At the very moment he pressed my front door bell I was about to step into the shower - that's how unready I was. I spoke rather grumpily to the chap on the front step (apologies for that!) and told him to wait in the back garden and I would be with him ASAP. I somehow managed to get showered, shaved and something else beginning with "S" (scrubbed?) in about 10 seconds flat. I then hurriedly threw on the Henry gear and was almost ready for the shoot. Of course the one thing Chris Sweet and I had planned for the shoot was for me to be posing, in Henry gear with two books - one about the Second World War and the other about Ancient Egypt (the two new eras we will be covering when Past Presence Ltd goes "live"). Could I find two books at a seconds notice for this shoot? Luckily I had Roy Jenkins' biography of Churchill to hand, that would do for the Second World War, but Egypt? I tore round the house and the only thing to hand was a Terry Deary book. Now as you know, I love Mr Deary about as much as your average Hassidic Jew likes a nice pork chop, but it was the only book to hand. So next week you will see me gurning in my back garden clutching a book by Terry Deary. Don't hold your breaths if you expect to see it happen again.

Coming up this week - a return visit to Finton House School in Wandsworth and a new visit to Hillmead Primary in Bishops Stortford.

St Bartholomew's First School - Summer Fete

My son James attended St Bartholomew's First School in Crewkerne for a while and enjoyed every moment. It is a charming lovely little school. The headteacher there is a lovely man by the name of Michael Collins and he had asked me sometime ago if I would be available to appear at their summer fete. It was a pleasure to appear.

I arrived at about 5.30pm and got changed into my Henry gear. There was so much to do there. There were several stalls with the usual Treasure Hunt games and hook-a-duck, plus a grand prize draw with over 30 separate prizes to be won. There were burger stalls, a coconut shy, two bouncy castles (one enormous the other more child friendly), ice cream vans and there was also the Town Crier for Crewkerne as well as me there. Seeing us both together a couple of small children pointed and shouted "Ooh! Pirates!"

The place was packed out and everyone seemed to have a really good time. The local Atom Car company were there with one of their super sports cars offering a lucky dip for a free ride in the car. Loads of money seemed to be raised and luckily the weather managed to behave itself until almost the very end when a few spots of rain appeared.

A lovely evening.

St Peters-in-Thanet, Broadstairs

Three years ago I went to St Peters-in-Thanet School in Broadstairs, Kent. It was the beginning of March and it snowed in the sort of way that even Scott of the Antarctic would have gone "Blimey - looks a bit chilly". It took me a grand total of nearly nine hours to get home along ice encrusted roads.

Today was completely different. Warm, sunny but with a stiff breeze. It was lovely to be back again. The school is a really groovy shape - like a large doughnut, completely round and with a large hall to the rear. It was about 90 children today and great fun. I made the fatal mistake of predicting that the ladies would walk off with the jousting tournament. That proved to be about as accurate and on the money as my prediction that Croatia woud waltz off with the Euro 2008 crown. DOH!

We had a really good day today, lots of laughs and some wonderful knowledge from the children, even though they finished their topic of the Tudors some months ago. The jousting was of a particularly high quality, but despite what I said it was a very competent Gents team that triumphed.

My journey home was only four hours this time, far quicker than before and with not a hint of ice on any road. When I got home I decided to do some washing only to find that my washing machine has decided to stop working, bless it's little heart. Just what I didn't need at the moment. Launderette here I come it seems.

I must be desperate for entertainment tonight. I've been watching Big Brother. Someone, stop me!

Kingsclere in Berkshire...or is it Hampshire?

Who's a silly King, then? Me! There I was, all primed for a whole weekend in the south east, from Thundersley on Wednesday, Kingsclere in Berks today and then Broadstairs in Kent on Monday. WRONG! Kingsclere is one of those places to throw a spanner in the works for you! I just assumed, as it had a Reading post code, that it would be near Reading! Nonsense! It's almost in Basingstoke and next to the A303 and virtually halfway home to Somerset from Essex where I have been staying. So instead of being in Essex for another night I have come home to sunny Somerset (it's raining actually, but you can't see that where you're sitting, can you?), will have an early night and then ski-daddle off back to Essex tomorrow morning. What a jet set lifestyle!

The school today at Kingsclere was lovely. Really lovely, easy to find, wonderful kids and fun teachers! I even had a lunch brought in for me it seemed! A ham and cheese roll, some savoury bites and even some strawberries were laid on for me. I really can't complain. The morning was great fun and the afternoon, though a tad warm in the costume was still terrific and we had a really good jousting competition which the gents won for the first time in a while.

When I was driving out of the school some of the boys from the day ran alongside my car for the first few yards waving and shouting "Thank you!" - lovely stuff. The drive home of course brought me to Stonehenge and it's the midsummer solstice! So loads of traffic, loads of Police vehicles and lots of hippies in clapped out buses. My, how we laughed.

But I am home now and will be getting my din-dins soon. See you in Broadstairs on Monday morning - bright and early!

Thundersley Junior

Almost exactly one year ago I made my first appearance at Thundersley Junior in Southend-on-Sea in Essex. I remember us having a really good time, so I was looking forward to my return visit today. I was not to be disappointed. My journey down was incredibly easy and I arrived very early, so I parked up with a newspaper and drink to kill some time before everyone else arrived.

I got my usual warm welcome from the staff and was soon set up in the hall for the days fun and games to begin. They were a really nice bunch of children, about 60+ of them, but very sparky and attentive and brilliantly well behaved. The morning just seemed to fly past.

I had a lovely lunch of roast beef sitting next to one of the male teachers who suddenly turned out to be Andy Whittams, a guy I used to go to school with back in the late 70's and early 80's at the Ingatestone Anglo-European School. What a small world! It was nice to see him. He had just returned from visiting another old friend of mine, Adrian Robinson who now lives in Switzerland. The funny thing is we used to call Adrian "Swiss Family" because of his surname!

The afternoon was a great session, very lively and full of laughs, and wouldn't you just know it? The ladies came through and triumphed in the Jousting final! Don't they nearly always?

I have tomorrow off, before heading off to Berkshire in Friday and a Henry visit to the town of Kingsclere.

Ilminster Festival and Much Much More!

I know I haven't blogged in a while but I have mitigating circumstances which involve idiocy and Tesco's Broadband, but any more than that my lips are sealed just in case they sue me.

Let me take you back to last Thursday and a getting up at the crack of dawn day. I was off down to Truro Prep School in Cornwall again for a second visit in two years. It is a longish drive but very much worth it. A total delight this school. Fabulous teachers and brilliant kids, and would you believe absolutely everyone dressed to the nines in their Tudor costumes! We even had a fine Hog Roast on the cricket pitch, just as we had two years ago. The weather was gorgeous all day as well which made the trip that much more pleasant.

Friday found me back on BBC Somerset with the gorgeous Jo Phillips on the "Morning Jo Show" broadcasting "live" from Ilminster in preparation for the Ilminster Festival. It was a really fun show to do and seemed to go very well. Please listen again at www.bbc.co.uk/somerset and click on "listen again" and choose the "Morning Jo Show" and "Friday" button! In the evening I was leading the parade for the medieval pageant for the Ilminster Festival itself. We had, apart from me, a fabulous jester called "Jester Trick", loads of kids dressed as fabulous Tudors, a group of men at arms and ladies in waiting from a re-enactment group based in Ilminster, some Morris Men (and women!), a mummers play group and even some Medieval Musicians from the "Daughters of Elvin" group. The parade was great fun, running from the end of Silver Street down to the Market Square where a large stage had been set up, pausing only at The Dolphin Pub so I could have a pint and watch the Morris Men dance, and then briefly outside Bilby's where I "Knighted" Tris Pinkney! Great fun. On the stage I was MC and had great fun bantering with the audience before introducing in turn the Jester, the Mummers, the Musicians and the Jester again, before we were finished just about 9pm. After getting changed I headed to Barrington Court for Matthew Applegate's surprise farewell party for his assistant Simon who was finishing his years placement at the court. Good fun.

Saturday and Sunday I was at Barrington Court doing walkabouts. Saturday was relatively quiet, about 500 people in, but Sunday was packed as there was a Jazz Band on for a Father's Day special. I guess we had about 1,500 through the door. Wonderful! Lots of lovely people to meet and good fun had by all. The weekend finished with me and Matthew Applegate sinking a pint or two at the Duke of York pub in my beloved Shepton Beauchamp.

Today I have driven up to Essex and over the next few days I will be appearing at Thundersley in Southend, Kingsclere in Berkshire and Broadstairs in Kent. Should be fun. And you never know, Tesco Broadband might lose some idiocy and get me re-connected! Hoorah!

St John's Junior School, Highbridge

Do you like this picture? It was the flyers they were using to advertise my weekend at Sudeley Castle. And what clever chaps they were, taking a picture of me at Leeds Castle and then removing the said Castle and slapping a pic of Sudeley behind me instead.

Back to business - I was on my way to Highbridge near Burnham-on-Sea this morning. St John's Junior School had got wind of my work after my fairly recent visit to West Huntspill Junior. After such a fine day at West Huntspill, what would St John's offer me? Well, it was quite a similar day - tremendous fun! A really excellent school, a charming group of teachers and some fabulous children. We had such a fun day, lots of laughs, lots of learning and a really thrilling jousting tournament in the afternoon. One of the biggest laughs of the day came via a correct, but shocking answer from one little chap. As I usually do, when talking about Ann Boleyn, I ask what possible evidence could any of her detractors have offered when they said she was a witch. I always tell the children it is something physical, referring usually to her extra polydactyl finger on her left hand, or the supposed birth mark she had on her neck. Today when asked what made people think she was a witch, one of the year 4's stuck his hand up and said "she had three nipples!" which, strictly speaking is true, but was not what I was expecting from a 9 year-old. I choked and spluttered a bit and at least two of the teachers nearly fell off their chairs laughing. Now that's not something I hear everyday!

Later this week I am off to Truro in Cornwall and then on Friday I am on BBC Somerset again with Jo Phillips in Ilminster during the day and then I am appearing at the Ilminster Festival in the evening. On Saturday and Sunday I am at Barrington Court for a couple of days of walkabouts.

I have also had some nibbles from a TV company called "Whizz Kid", another enquiry from Channel 5 for a possible appearance on another show and even some talk about yet another TV company doing a children's history series. How nice!

BBC Somerset Panel Yet Again

Familiar ground today! Back to BBC Somerset for another appearance on the sainted Jo Phillips' "Morning Jo Show" news panel. Of course it is school holidays week so after having set out ludicrously early to take on Taunton's notorious bottle neck roads, I just sailed through with no school run to contend with and arrived far too early. I was greeted by Anna today who was taking the lovely Emma Britton's place as Emma was slumming it up at the Royal Bath and West Show in a mud encrusted County Showground in Shepton Mallett. After last night's floods I dread to think what the parking was like up there!

I was joined on the panel today by a lovely lady who runs Hestercombe Gardens near Taunton, and another charming lady who writes children's books and who I was on a panel with only a few months ago. It was very nice to see her again. It was great fun as usual and Jo was, as ever, a hugely professional presenter and also charming, witty, friendly and easy on the eye. Always a good combination as far as I am concerned. We had lots of laughs but Jo reckoned I was going to get her in trouble with the authorities after I described the Daily Mail as being "just to the right wing of Genghis Khan" - which is true! You can listen to the show again for the next seven days by going to the BBC Somerset website (www.bbc.co.uk/somerset) and clicking on the listen again option and clicking on Morning Jo Friday tab.

After the show I headed for home and some letter writing and then lunch. After that I headed over to Barrington Court for a brief meeting with Matthew Applegate about future plans. That all went well and soon I was back home and found that dear old Tiscali had cut my phone off. I had to drive out of Clapton to get a signal on my mobile to phone them and find out why. After much shouting and threats they agreed that I had paid and that they would reconnect me AND send me a letter of apology. I got home and the phone still won't work, so I have taken up the cudgels with Ofcom to see if they can zap Tiscali out of a rut. Be warned, if you are thinking of going to Tiscali as a new telephone customer - DON'T!!!!!!

Meet the Tudors, Sudeley Castle

For the third May Bank Holiday running, I was at Sudeley Castle in Winchcombe, Gloucestershire for more Tudor nonsense. It promised to be bigger and better than in previous years, and in some way it was. I headed off on Saturday morning nice and early, and I was soon hacking up the M5. Winchcombe is a delightful town and Sudeley is a little treasure of a place - the final resting place of Katherine Parr, Henry's final wife.

In previous years it has just been me wandering around as Henry and meeting and greeting people, but this year I had two other friends to saunter about with. One was a delightful Irish lady called Orla Beardwell who dressed up as a wonderful Queen Elizabeth I, the other was a wonderfully insane character called Bob Mason who was dressing up as Will Somers, Henry's jester. Bob's other wonderful claim to fame is that in a previous time of his life he was the near legendary Phantom Flan-Flinger from cult TV series "Tiswas" in the late 70's and early 80's. You can see us pictured here in our first picture at the visitors reception centre. There were other attractions for the weekend, including archery, an executioner (complete with body hanging from a jibbet), singers, and even Davy the Jester, late of Leeds Castle and this blog.

Saturday was a delight, hot weather, lots of visitors, loads of photos taken and generally a fun and happy atmosphere. Sunday and the weather broke and it poured and poured with rain and was generally cold and miserable, but we still had lots of visitors. Bank Holiday Monday came complete with more cold weather and loads of rain and sadly a drop in visitor numbers. However, everyone seemed to have a really good time and the staff and people of Sudeley Castle were as friendly and charming as ever.

For my digs I stayed at Oaklands B&B virtually opposite Blair House where I stayed last year. The hosts there were wonderful and friendly and have nurtured a very happy family atmosphere for the whole place and it really does feel like a home from home. It still smacks a little of it's previous life as an old folks care home (hand rails down every corridor and lots of hand rails in strange places in the toilet!) but they do a breakfast that even defeated me (I asked for a much smaller one on Monday morning) and I can heartily recommend it for a genuinely warm and charming welcome.

It was good to meet so many nationalities and friendly people during all the walkabouts and meet and greets over the weekend, including my first ever tourists from Uruguay! On Saturday poor old Orla got very sunburnt across her shoulders and chest but I am sure this is what kept her mostly warm over the colder Sunday and Monday. Jenny from Sudeley Castle who was looking after all the bookings and events had worked with me before when she used to work at Dean Close Prep in Cheltenham (see this blog passim).

There is talk of a special event at Sudeley next year to mark Henry's 500th anniversary of his ascension to the throne. It would be lovely to be involved, so as I have said before "watch this space".

My drive back was relatively quick and uneventful, and however nice my three days at Sudeley Castle were I am very much looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight!

Martham and Lowestoft

It was a return visit to two schools in East Anglia this week, but only one had kept it's name the same since my previous appearance! For the past two years I had ventured to Martham village and appeared at West Flegg Middle School. But recently Norfolk County Council have decided to do away with the three tiered education system and first, middle and high schools are becoming a thing of the past. West Flegg Middle had now metamorphed into Martham Primary School! It was good to see Judy Colman there again as she is a lovely lady and was as welcoming and friendly as on previous visits. It was a very big group on the Wednesday with something in the region of about 140 children, but they were brilliantly well behaved and we had a great day. With such big groups, even the little carousel activities were well attended and lively! After a fine lunch of pasta it was into the afternoon with added gusto and a rip roaring jousting tournament which the ladies sneaked home on to win! The following day after my visit they were having the official opening ceremony of the new school and they were all desperate to rehearse their show, so as soon as Tudor day finished I was out the hall so that they could begin their preparations. I stayed my two nights in East Anglia down at my parents in Essex, so I had quite a drive down from Martham to Mountnessing.

Thursday saw my fourth annual visit to Lowestoft and the very wonderful Roman Hill Middle School. As I drove up my fuel guage in the car was getting lower and lower, but as I was making such good progress I decided to press on and wait until I was virtually in Lowestoft before stopping to refuel. Great idea in principle, but unfortunately I had left my wallet and all my money on the side in my parent's kitchen in Essex. DOH! So as soon as I arrived at the school and was greeted by the delightful Rebecca Haste I had to fall upon her mercies and ask for a load of £20 so I could actually get back to my parents and my dear wallet! Rebecca is just such a lovely lady, so friendly, helpful and easy to get along with. She makes visiting her school a total pleasure. We had a great day as usual at Roman Hill, lots of laughs, another big group and some fantastic costumes. For once the gents triumphed in the jousting and when all was done and dusted we all posed for some photos for the local paper and I was soon on my way, but as I said only thanks to Rebecca's generosity! I can't wait to come back and visit Roman Hill again.

I stopped back at my parents for dinner and then at about 7.30pm began the long plod back to Somerset, but it was a nice easy drive and I listened to the thrilling climax to the Scottish Premier League with the Celtic and Rangers matches being broadcast on Radio 5. They were exciting matches that kept me on the edge of my seat, which was very lucky as I was so tired after two very early starts and lots of driving. I stopped briefly for petrol on the return and was served by a man who was so icey and bad tempered as to make Sue English seem like a over-prozac'd game show host. Smashing.

Home for a loud welcome from the cat who was so delighted to see me and we ended up cuddled up on the sofa with her purring loudly in my ear. Very nice. I have a day of sort of leisure today and tomorrow I am back up at Sudeley Castle in Gloucestershire for their grand Tudor weekend. I would hope to see lots of familiar faces back there! That includes you...

Balliol Lower School, Kempston, Bedford

My alarm went off at 0400 hours this morning. What does the O stand for? Oh my God, it's early. It was going to be a long drive today up to Kempston near Bedford for a first visit to Balliol Lower School, a new venue for me. The drive was actually quite pleasant as it was before the full heat of the day had awoken and the roads were fairly clear at this early hour. I shot up the A303 and then the A34, before cutting across country and hedging Milton Keynes and then through Buckingham, which seems a delightful little town.

I arrived just before the school opened and so sat in a side road having some breakfast, much to the amazement of an elderly lady taking her dog for a walk. She obviously thought that I was lurking in her side road up to no good as she came past and had a good look at me about four times! The welcome I got at the school was much warmer, and I was informed in great detail by the lady in the office that she had cancelled the fire drill for that day because of me, but if there was a fire alarm it would be for real.

It was a Year 3 group today of about 50-60 children and they were just fantastic! Lively, inquisitive and ready to laugh. They also had some fine Tudor knowledge to share with me. The morning just seemed to shoot by, which is always a good sign that the day went well. I had a lovely lunch of roast beef from the ladies in the kitchens and then it was into the afternoon with all the nice gory bits! The stocks were hilarious and gruesome in equal measure. The joust was a good one too, with the gentlemen winning for a nice change. Balliol Lower was a delightful school to visit and I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did. It would be nice to go back and see them again sometime.

The journey home was a bit more fraught with much more traffic on the road, especially lorry drivers hell bent on overtaking other lorries at approximately 0.1 nano-mile-per-hour faster than each other. Why do they do it? They seem to wait until you are zooming up to overtake them and then just signal and blithely pull out, and trundle along for what seems like an eon before either completing the manouevre or, more commonly, giving up and tucking in behind again.

I got back in time to sit and watch Rangers being comprehensively outplayed by Zenit St Petersburg of Russia in the UEFA Cup Final, played at the lovely home ground of Manchester City, the finest team in the world with that name.

Martock Primary

The last time I visited Martock Primary I had just bought my dear old Honda Accord (see this blog about two years ago!) and we had a really good day, so I was really looking forward to this return visit. I was not to be disappointed.

Some years ago I visited a small school in Axminster in Devon and had possibly the worst cup of tea ever served to me in a school, and I mentioned it in passing in this blog. How this has come to haunt me over the years. I had no idea so many people read this blog! So even today, all these years later, as I arrive at Martock Primary and I start to have a cuppa made for me by the Head Master, he comments on how he had better make me a good one as I come down hard on bad cups of tea! I only did it once - and that was nearly three years ago now! So can I just say here and now, while at Martock Primary I had two cups of tea made for me and they were as ambrosia to the Gods and were GORGEOUS!

It was great to see so many familiar faces amongst the teachers this day and they were all as welcoming and friendly as last time. It was a group of about 90 children today, a mixture of years three and four and they were just brilliant. Bright, sparky and very ready to laugh at all my old rubbish! Even though they had only been studying the Tudors since half term they had loads of good knowledge and were very eager to share this with me. The morning seemed to just shoot past and we had plenty of laughs, particularly my "wrestling" during the Field of the Cloth of Gold with Marcus - he knows who I mean. What a star!

After a very filling lunch of meat balls and pasta it was back to Tudor times for more fun with the stocks and the jousting. As usual the ladies waltzed off with the honours in the grand final, but we still had time for a teacher's race which cranked the volume of the crowd up to even greater heights! It was a pleasure to come to this wonderful and charming school and my only complaint is that they won't need me back for a couple of years, so see you in 2010.

I have had a nice relaxing evening and have a weekend at leisure to look forward to. As the weather is promised to be hot and sunny, I might just pop over to Barrington Court for a wander about tomorrow and then hit Ilchester for a car boot sale on Sunday morning. Come and say hello if you see me. If you catch me at the right time I will sell you something!

Somerford Junior, Christchurch

It was a fairly early start for me today as I was heading down to Somerford Junior School in Christchurch, and I well remembered from my previous visits to this town what a bottleneck of a place it is to get through. I left home at about 6.20am and all went swimmingly until about the last 5-10 miles. Gridlock was not far off it. Eventually the journey took me just over 2 hours - and it was only about 55 miles.

The teachers and the rest of the staff at this lovely school were as welcoming and fun as ever and it was great to see them all again. There was much merriment from the ladies on the front reception desk about my t-shirt I was wearing today. It says "Body of a God - shame it's Buddha" which they all thought was wonderful and wanted copies of it for their own other halves. They also reminded me that on my last visit to this school I left my mobile phone there - I made sure I had it close to hand all day today.

It was a year three class today and some of them struggled a bit as they have not been doing the Tudors for very long, but they perked up as the day went on. It was almost over poweringly hot today and I was not exactly dressed for it in all my furs and layers!

After a lovely pasta lunch it was on to the crimes and punishments section, a fun stocks event and then the jousting. One of the ladies teams in the first leg were a little...er...unfortunate(?) and were never really in the running as their lead off lady took nearly 10 minutes to hook all of her quoits! Even when I helped her cheat by loading all bar one of the quoits onto her lance, she managed to knock them all off again within a couple of seconds! However, despite this, the other ladies team marched on through to the final where they comprehensively thrashed the gents champions!

My drive home was equally fraught just getting out of Christchurch! Another two hours before home again. Tomorrow I am much more local, with a return visit for the first time in two years to Martock School in, unsurprisingly, Martock! Should be fun.

Downlands School, Blandford Camp

Some two years ago, for the very first time, I attempted to get to a school using my (then) brand new Sat Nav system in my car. It was a baptism of fire for "Doris" and me! She had a bit of a "bad hair day" and attempted to get me to Downlands School in Blandford Camp, Dorset, via a brick wall enclosed builders yard. Today, for what might well prove to be her swan song, "Doris" (my sat nav) was on board to try and bring me back to Downlands! As I may have mentioned in recent days, "Doris" isn't too well at the moment and is much in need of either repair, or total abandonment. She didn't let me down today though and I arrived bright and early at the security gates at this vast army camp. I was quickly signed in and had a photo pass issued to me (they still had me on record from the previous visit two years back). I managed to even snaffle a car parking spot right outside the front door to the school.

It was great to be back, a really lovely school and some charming teachers, all dressed to the nines in their finest Tudor clothing! The ever helpful caretaker took care of me and helped me lug my Henry stuff into the main hall. The children were all dressed up in some equally fantastic Tudor garb, a lot of it painstakingly home made, but looking wonderful. Despite not having done much on the Tudors in class yet this year the children were eager to show off their knowledge. They had all obviously been reading a lot of books about Henry and his life, though pronunciation of names was proving tricky. One little girl told me that Henry's second wife was called "Annie Boyling". And who knows, perhaps she was!

After lunch we had a smashing session with the crime and punishment talk and a lot of fun with the stocks before we got on to the inevitable loud jousting tournament. The girls won on a "penalty shoot out" today, just managing to snatch victory from the gents on the second re-hooking. Downlands is a fabulous school and my only regret is that as whenever I visit them I do two years at once which means I won't get a chance to see them all again for another two years! So see you in 2010!

My journey home was a little fraught as the Troy Town by-pass was shut because of an accident and "Doris'" batteries were running low - but I made it!

Tomorrow I am off to Chard to lovely old Manor Court School and a meeting with Deputy Head, Lizzie Reynolds.

BBC Somerset Bus

Another week and another appearance on Jo Phillips' "Morning Jo Show" panel on BBC Somerset. There were a couple of differences though. Firstly we weren't in the studio in Taunton but on the BBC Broadcast Bus in Market Street in Crewkerne. And secondly, there was no Emma Britton as she is away on holiday and her place was taken by Liam, the bus driver and he did a very passable impression. I was on the show with a couple of ladies, one from Crewkerne Town Council and another lady from Drimpton just up the road from Clapton. It is quite a snug fit inside the studio on the bus, but it was good fun, especially the chat about cows! You will know what I mean if you listen again on line!

After the show I wandered to the bank and then back to Bilby's for a cup of tea where I bumped into Annette, the lady from the Town Council again and we had a nice chat and she invited me to come to Crewkerne in November and turn on the Christmas lights as Henry! I accepted on the spot! Watch this space...

Tomorrow I am back at Blandford Camp in Dorset and it should be a good 'un!

West Huntspill School

Some years ago I visited a lovely little school at Westbury-sub-Mendip. I obviously made an impression as one of the teachers from that day has recently become the head teacher at West Huntspill School near Bridgwater. She remembered me and phoned last week for a booking. I had this day free in my diary and so she booked me!

West Huntspill is a truly wonderful school - it is currently under special measures following a bad OFSTED some time ago, but they are really putting things right in a big way. The actual facility is very good and the teachers are excellent - full of enthusiasm and a desire to make things better. And the children? Well they were just a delight! So much laughter in one day - it was life affirming and fun in the extreme. They lapped up all the Tudor information and laughed outrageously at even the lamest of my jokes. One young lady laughed so much one of her teeth fell out! Now I have never managed to have that effect on any member of my audience before, but I had probably better not make a habit of it.

After a fun morning and also having had lunch bought for me (which was greatly appreciated) it was back to the crime and punishment section and the stocks! A rip roaring joust capped the day admirably with another good win for a fine gents team who blew the ladies away in the final.

Tomorrow I am off to Crewkerne for another appearance on Jo Phillips "Morning Jo Show" on BBC Somerset. They are broadcasting "Live" from the middle of Crewkerne on the BBC Somserset bus. If you are in Crewkerne for the morning, come and say "Hello".

Blundell's Prep, Tiverton

For the third year running it was back to Blundell's Prep School in downtown Tiverton. My day got off to a less than auspicious start when Doris, my beloved sat nav, decided to have an almost complete breakdown. She would not power up from her lead and would only work off batteries, which sadly have a life span in a sat nav of about half an hour it seems. I stopped and bought some batteries and carried on, but more or less remembered my way to Blundell's from my previous visits.

They are having massive amounts of building work done, but the school is a friendly welcoming place and it was good to see so many familiar faces. I had an early cup of tea and a chat with the Head Master, Nick Folland, who used to play cricket for Somerset. He and I have been dreaming up an idea for a charity cricket match at Barrington Court played in period costumes. He reckons he could get Marcus Trescothick and Andy Caddick to come down and play, plus some other big names. I must chase up Matthew Applegate about this as well.

The day at the school was brilliant fun. We started off in the drama studio, but later were in one of the upstairs classrooms and finally in the afternoon in the dining hall. The children were bedecked in some fantastic costumes and they certainly knew their Tudor history, despite one little girl asking me if Henry VIIIth had a pet panda (?).

The afternoon stocks were great fun and we finished with a really high quality jousting tournament that the boys won for a nice change! I stopped off in Ilminster on the way back and then on to home for a home made chicken korma and a glass of wine!

Next Henry is today at West Huntspill near Burnham-on-Sea.

Enmore Primary

Back in January 2006 I visited Enmore Primary. I had been requested for this return visit and, wrack my brain all I could, I just could not picture the school at all. Not a jot! I could not remember the village, or anything about the place at all. And then I arrived at the car park, and it all flooded back to me! It was then (in 2006) and is now (2008) a fantastic school. I was working with a mixed class of 28 pupils of years four and five. It was also a different form teacher this time around, a charming fairly newly qualified lady by the name of Laura Potter who was bedecked in a most becoming red Tudor dress that she'd had made by dressmakers in Bahrain (where her parents live and where she was brought up)!

The class were fantastic today, all dressed in wonderful Tudor costumes and showing some fabulous knowledge. After my opening talk and a lot of laughs I kept the relatively small group all together for the activities. With the quiz we had two perfect scores from a couple of the ladies and some of the coat of arms designs they came up with were brilliant. Miss Potter suggested that they would make a collage of the designs on the walls of their classroom.

After lunch (which I had to drive virtually into Bridgwater to get from a petrol station! Mmm! Cold sandwiches!) it was back for more Tudor mayhem in the hall. The afternoon really zipped by and we had a cracking jousting tournament culminating in yet another triumph for the ladies. I reassured the disappointed boys team that this sort of thing happens all the time...

Back home I was due to visit my landlord and his partner's place this evening for dinner with them, but unfortunately he wasn't feeling very well and so the meal was postponed. I am back on duty as Henry again on Monday morning at Blundell's Prep School in Tiverton in Devon for a third visit in as many years.

Henry VIIIth - Page Three Stunna!

If you live in the right area of Somerset or Dorset, and are able to get your hands on a copy of the Western Gazette (preferably the Chard and Ilminster copy - hey I am aware that this is getting very precise), then you will discover that in this week's issue I am the Western Gazette's Page Three Stunna for the week!

There is an article and a couple of photos from last weekend's "Right Royal Weekend" at Barrington Court. It is quite a nice photo for once! There is also a very cute pic of some of the little kids who played with the Tudor skittles with me on the Saturday.

Good King Hal should point out that there are other local papers available for purchase... but I'm not in them, so what's the point in buying them? Be honest!

Happy St George's Day!

Happy St George's Day!

Kind regards,

Henry VIIIth

A Right Royal Weekend Part 2

The second of my two days at Barrington Court had promised far superior weather to the first, and on the whole it didn't disappoint. It wasn't exactly a blazing sun-fest, but after the drab damp dreary day of Saturday it was a vast improvement. The number of visitors was up too which was good to see. I would like to say a big thank you to the three little girls who turned up in their finest Tudor clothes to come and see me, each one taking on a roll as a famous Tudor lady! I had a Jane Seymour, a Queen Elizabeth and a Katherine Parr!

Both of the talks on the Sunday were packed out which was good to see and gave a wonderful atmostphere. The better weather also allowed me to venture out into the gardens to meet and greet the people as they wandered around Barrington Court's beautiful surroundings. Another big "hello" to the three lovely, but extremely hungover ladies from Bristol, recovering as they were from the rigours of a hen night in Chard the previous evening! The Tudor skittles in the hall went really well too, and I think all the children and their parents who attended seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves.

In the evening, Matthew Applegate, his assistant Simon and myself ventured out for a celebratory beer starting off at The Volunteer Pub in Seavington. However, the barmaid appeared to serve us about as frequently as the return of Hailley's Comet and after just one pint we gave up and ventured over to Shepton Beauchamp and the Duke of York where we had a much better time of it. We had a lot of fun discussing how funny a sit com set in a National Trust property would be. I just don't think anyone would believe it if we put some of Matthew's true stories in the script!

Back to paperwork this morning and the next siting of Henry will be a return visit to Enmore Primary in Bridgwater this coming Friday. Watch this space for more.

A Right Royal Weekend Part 1

I can confidently assure you that the photo you see here was NOT taken today at Barrington Court. As predicted, the weather was of the dark, wet, windy and biblical black variety. However, there were still plenty of hardy souls who ventured forth into the teeth of this inclement weather for Barrington's "Right Royal Weekend".

The attractions were modest, but fun. You could come and meet me (Henry VIIIth), hear a talk by me, have a go at making your very own royal crown and then have a bash at Tudor skittles. Having said that, everyone who took part in all these activities seemed to enjoy themselves. For my first talk we had a smallish turnout, but they all laughed and enjoyed themselves in the right places. The children especially enjoyed the skittle games afterwards. The second group were bigger but far fewer of them came back to try the skittles. As for my performances - my first talk, as far as I was concerned, was dreadful. It really showed that I hadn't done any appearances for a couple of weeks as I was forgetful and kept fluffing my lines. However, I really enjoyed the second talk, particularly one young chap in the audience who everytime I did a loud Henry roar he'd jump about 3 feet out of his chair, much to the amusement of his mother!

I am back for more tomorrow with a promise of a beer in the evening from Matthew Applegate. I treated myself this evening by stopping for fish and chips on the way home. I have been a good boy and typed up my blog nice and early so I can settle down and enjoy "Planet of the Ood" on Doctor Who! Bring it on!

BBC Somerset Panel Again

I had managed to wangle my way back on to the Panel on the BBC Somerset's "Morning Jo" Radio programme today. It was to publicise this coming weekend's "Right Royal Weekend" at Barrington Court. The morning traffic was virtually non-existant for once and so I was a bit early when I arrived at the august portals of BBC Somerset in Park Street, Taunton. I was greeted by the ever lovely Emma Britton and taken up to the waiting area where I could begin sifting through the days newspapers.

I was joined on the panel today by Simon Lomax, a musician and teacher from Somerton and the charming Maggie Mickshik from the Martha Care charity for sick children based in Glastonbury. Jo Phillips was, as ever, a brilliant host and a lovely lady (as the photo here shows!) and the conversation flowed so easily today. If you missed the show and would like to hear it again then go to www.bbc.co.uk/somerset and click on the "Listen Again" tab and choose the "Morning Jo Show" for Friday. I chose as my story from the paper today the horrific news that the new England cricket kit will be without a chunky cable knit sweater. This is the end of an era and enough to make grown men want to throw themselves from the top of Old Father Time at Lord's Cricket Ground. Half the fun of playing cricket is wearing the big baggy sweater that manages to make even the most attractive and dashing of men appear to be Worzel Gummidge's younger brother who has lost interest in scaring crows and has really let himself go.

Right, off to the Doctor's shortly to see if I can get my deaf ear sorted out. Tomorrow and Sunday I am at a waterlogged Barrington Court (if the weather forecast is anything to go by). I shall wear my water proof codpiece.

Mark Speight R.I.P.

The BBC is reporting that the children's TV presenter Mark Speight has been found dead at Paddington Station. I think everyone is aware of the sad background to this terrible occurrence, and it will serve no purpose for me to go over the story again.

Back in 2005 I was fortunate enough to work for the BBC on the Rolf Harris' "Rolf on Art" television programme about Hans Holbein and his famous paintings of Henry VIIIth. I was also lucky in that some of the filming I did involved working with Mark Speight. He was a lovely man, charming, easy to get on with, very approachable and down to Earth. All the kids at the recording seemed to love him as well. The picture here was taken by Anna, my little BBC runner, who took it for her daughter who fancied Mark. It was quite late in the day and everyone by this time was tired and a little fractious, but Mark was great, mucking about in front of the camera pretending to be a male model and making everyone laugh. I remember seeing him at the after show party at the Trafalgar Square Hilton with his beautiful girlfriend. How tragic and cruel life can be sometimes. It was an honour to work with and meet Mark Speight, however fleetingly, and his death is a tragic waste of a talented young life. My son James was a big fan of Mark's frequent appearances on Smarteenies and his "Big Picture Little Picture" routines. Everyone involved with Good King Hal sends their condolences to Mark and Natasha's family at this very sad time.

Real People Magazine - It's true you know!

Just to let all of you fine people out there that Real People Magazine, featuring yours truly is out NOW! And remember it is only a weekly, so you only have until next Wednesday to get a copy. So what are you doing here reading this blog? Get out there and buy it now. HURRY!

Real People Magazine

Just a quickie today folks! The next issue of "Real People Magazine" is to feature Amanda and I as Mr and Mrs Henry VIIIth! We have both done interviews with journalists from the magazine and yesterday we had to pose like mad for a photographic session, some as just us in civvies, and then another load with me in the Henry clobber.

I have been led to believe by the lovely people at Real People Magazine that we are featuring in the very next issue coming out later in April - so hurry to your local newsagent while stocks last!

Coalway Junior, Coleford

Four years since I was first there, I was back at Coalway Junior in Coleford, Gloucestershire. Four years in a row I have visited this lovely school, and it just seems to get better and better!

The main teacher I was dealing with today was James Barrow, a fiercely proud Cardiff City supporter and so has a lot to shout about this year with their great FA Cup run. I wish I could say the same about Manchester City or Yeovil...

It was a group of about 55 children today and they were wonderful - as they always are at Coalway Junior! Some of them had obviously been very well taught and knew their Tudor history marvellously. It was very nice to be at Coleford for the first time not in rain! My previous three visits before this I am sure absolutely belted down each time!

The drive up was really lovely today in such bright sharp weather. I always love driving through Chepstow - admittedly it can be a bit of a bottleneck, but on a day like today it is hard to beat!

After a lovely roast dinner lunch we were back on for the Tudor crime and punishment trail, but not before I had been treated to a fine display of Tudor dance by one of the classes. The jousting was really closely contested and YET AGAIN the ladies walked off with the title with a quite brilliant display of teamwork. However the finest jouster was the second leg man of the Gents champs who could go professional should he wish - he was THAT good!

And now it is the Easter holidays - and I could do with the rest. See you at Barrington Court on the 19 April.

Hatless in Tatworth

I did something today I have never done before during all of my Henry appearances. I drove over to Tatworth just outside Chard for my third appearance at this lovely school. I was greeted by the head teacher, Mr Knight, who is almost as nuts about cricket as me and so as England supporters we were both over the moon about our series win in New Zealand.

I got everything set up in the main hall and went off to get changed. It was only then that I discovered that I had forgotten my hat! Never before had I gone without a hat at a Henry show. I wracked my brains trying to think where the hell I had left it and could only assume it was at the school where I had last appeared, so that made it Countess Gytha at Queen Camel.

The morning went really well, despite the lack of hat! It was a mixed group of year 3 and 5's and they were wonderful, also showing some magnificent knowledge of the Tudor world. After break I went straight into the hanging drawing and quartering section which they seemed to love, and the final jousting tournament was a belter. The gents original final was so close, and then the main final was a real classic with the ladies just pipping the gents again for the certificates from the King.

After I had packed and left, I headed home for lunch. Just after that I phoned the Countess Gytha School in Queen Camel. They hadn't had the hat handed in but promised to have a look. Sure enough the phoned back to say that the hat was still where I had hung it last week! So, I drove back over to Queen Camel to get my titfer! I was recognised by a few of the children with cries of "Henry's back!" They had even put some photos of me from last week on their notice board.

I had a couple of nibbles from schools this afternoon, one from Taunton and the other from Dorset, plus I had a confirmation of a visit to Southchurch Museum in Southend for the first weekend in August. I will be seeing so much of Essex. Lucky me!