The BBC Somerset Panel Strikes Again

I almost forgot about this one! Luckily I had a phone call on Friday from Liam O'Leary at the Taunton BBC Office to remind me I was due to appear on Jo Phillips' "Morning Jo" show on BBC Somerset today. Without that I have a nasty feeling this appearance on the show might have slipped my mind altogether.

I drove into Taunton early, but as ever, when you expect bad traffic in Taunton none appears. So I was first of the panel to arrive at the studio today. I was as ever warmly greeted by Emma who had just got back from her holiday in Cornwall.

The other two panel members arrived and, after choosing our stories from the morning papers we were soon ushered into the presence of the delightful Jo Phillips. She looks really good at the moment, her new hairstyle really suits her! My other two panel members were Sue from Southwood and Tracy from Chard. Sue works for the St Margaret's Hospice and Tracy is an author who writes books about recycling and green issues. It was an interesting lively debate and with lots of laughs, particularly at the end. I also got asked to choose the music as the "Panelists Choice" - so, in a show of loyalty that would no doubt have brought a tear to the eye of both Andy Partridge AND Colin Moulding, I chose an XTC track. Namely the wonderful "Stupidly Happy" from the "Wasp Star" album - my son James' favourite song! It was nice to drive away from Taunton with the song being played on the radio - first time I have ever heard it played that way!

I stopped at Ilminster and bought some broom handles to be used as props for my WWII shows, plus I also picked up a flat cap for the character as well from the wonderful Dyers store. I had a quick drink in at Bilby's and said hello to Tris.

I am heading back to Essex on Wednesday and will be appearing at Taversham in Norfolk on Thursday.

Billericay, High Wycombe and a 50th Birthday!

It was back up to jolly old Essex for me on the 1st October. The following day was to be my return visit to South Green Junior in Billericay - my first return there for three years! The reason for this long hiatus is that when I last visited them in 2005, their year 4 group was studying the Tudors. However straight after that they switched it so that their year 6 group was studying the Tudors! Therefore they had to wait until the original year fours I had taught had grown up and got past year six before having me back again. Well, that was their excuse and I fell for it...

It is a charming school South Green, in a nice almost semi rural backwater to Billericay - lots of trees and greenery, but also lots of houses. But it feels almost villagey. The teachers were, as ever, a delight being helpful, funny, friendly and ready to join in the madness and fun at the drop of a hat. The children, a group of about 60, were very excitable and noisy, but fun with it. It was occasionally difficult keeping a lid on the whole thing, but come the jousting they let themselves go with aplomb and virtually blew the roof off the school hall! As for the result? The ladies triumphed AGAIN! This takes the overall score to:

GENTLEMEN 3 - 4 LADIES

A fine stirring come back by the ladies here.

The following morning I was up early and driving over to High Wycombe for my annual appearance at Godstowe Prep School. This is a fine old building in a leafy lane near to High Wycombe railway station. It is a girls school and you are always guaranteed two things at Godstowe - fantastic costumes for the pupils and a great day of fun, and I got both as expected! It was a new set of teachers for me this year and things got off to a slightly surreal start, because as I began my opening talk to the children two of the male teachers had a very loud conversation between each other at the back of the hall. Mind you, a couple of threatening barks and "looks" from the King and I had them right back in order! All joking aside the teachers were lovely as ever at Godstowe - very friendly and couldn't do enough for me. The children were fun too and the final joust was loud and raucous and of course a ladies team won, so we can't add this score to our overall table.

I left High Wycombe and drove over to Barrington Court in Somerset for Matthew Applegate's 50th birthday party. For the past few weeks he has been saying, in his usual "glass half empty" way, "of course hardly anyone will be there, when it gets to 8 o'clock we might as well go up to my flat and watch the telly..." How wrong. Little does this charming man know how popular and loved he is. As I arrived, the car park by Beagles cafe was quite busy but I decided to park round by the Court House. That car park was even more full! Packed! Walking in I was greeted by a jam packed restaurant full of familiar faces and good cheer. There was Matthew and his lovely wife Sue, dear old Blue and his wife Jo from the post office and shop in Shepton Beauchamp, all the lovely volunteer ladies that I bump into every time I work at Barrington, plus Alf and Lynn Trott, Rachel (Matthew's assistant), Becky from Stuart's Interiors and even a mass of people from Chard Historical Society who have just booked me for their annual talk next May, but were keen to come and say hello! There was a lovely true or false quiz to do, all about Matthew's life, drinks and nibbles aplenty, and even a magnificent birthday cake topped with 50 candles which Matthew managed to blow out in one, slightly extended go! I spent most of the evening talking to Blue, who was a great help to me and spoke a lot of sense about my current personal situation. By 8.30pm I was finished. It had been a long long day. I bid farewell to that lovely collection of friends and drove off into the night. What a lovely day.

Archbishop Cranmer School, Taunton

Do you like my portrait here? It is being done by a very nice chap called Roger Harris who I met during my Dillington House open day visit. He is a hugely talented young artist who does these remarkable likenesses from photos, drawing them using coloured pencils. It is apparently still a work in progress, but more power to this man's elbow for his skill. Check out his website at http://www.colourpencils.co.uk/ and prepare to be amazed.

Archbishop Cranmer School in Taunton is one of those lovely schools that I only ever get to visit once every two years as they always lump two classes in together. So my chance to swap doubles entendres jokes and various other innuendo ladended gags with the lovely Tracy Crossman and Sally Whittaker only crops up once every 24 months, so I have to make the most of it! Archbishop Cranmer School, or ABC as it is known, is a truly lovely school. One of my favourites in Taunton. The children are all great, full of laughs and with good knowledge, and the teachers are just a delight to be around. We had a fabulous morning, delayed in it's start somewhat by an assembly that seemed to go on forever, but when we did get going it was great. At one point, when explaining how Henry's older brother Arthur had come to a sticky end, I mention that it might have been because he went for a swim in a polluted river. However, I tell them there is something sinister lurking in the waters of Tudor England, usually ending up with me explaining it's raw sewage I'm talking about, but at ABC a little girl called Kirsten told me she knew what was sinisterly lurking in the waters. It was called a Ducklipod and it had huge teeth, massive arms and was incredibly quick in the water. So that told me! My cold, including sore throat and pounding head, was put to the test at times, but somehow managed to get through.

After a lovely lunch it was then time for the afternoon session, which seemed to shoot by. The final joust was incredibly loud and fun, but a truly awesome ladies team stormed to a famous victory. So our year long score card now looks thus:

GENTLEMEN 3 - 3 LADIES

I have a feeling this one will go right to the wire!

Thursday I am at South Green Junior in Billericay in Essex, and then on Friday it's back to Godstowe Prep in High Wycombe. Lovely! And not a Ducklipod in sight.

The Broken Mobile

Just a quick word of warning to anyone attempting to contact me over the next week or so - don't call my mobile number! My elderly mobile phone was already on it's beam ends when last week, during my visit to Wales I managed to drop it as I was getting out of my car and it now resembles the phone in this picture. Only slightly less advanced. If you have an urgent need to speak to The King about any Tudor matters your best way of contacting him at present is either on his land line, which is 01460 271641. Or via email which is good_king_hal@yahoo.co.uk or failing both of those, try semaphore if you are close enough.

THANK YOU!

A week off and a visit to Leeds Castle

Just had a nice relaxing week off - if you can count driving all over the country as being relaxing! I started off by visiting my sister Susan in Wales again. She has been having a bit of a tough time personally recently, and I like to visit her as often as I can to make sure she is OK, as she is quite isolated down in Carmarthen where she is. But with her for the few days I was there was also my parents, and my other sister Cathy and her husband Julian. So it was a full, and happy house, particularly as it was Cathy's birthday as well. We all had a good time and even the weather was very kind to us. For use in some shows in the near future, I managed to pick up a genuine 1941 gas mask in Newcastle Emlyn which will be of great help, particularly if the children eat a lot of cauliflower during lunch breaks.

After three lovely days in the bosom of my family it was time to drive right across country to Essex, and visit my wife and son. Again we had a lovely time, none more so than last night when cuddled up on the sofa with my little son watching "Ice Age 2" on DVD. Lovely! Yesterday I also popped down to Leeds Castle for a meeting with the sainted Darlene Cavill - Special Events Organiser par excellence! She was, as ever, with her gorgeous and equally brilliant assistant Helen Budd, and here is a picture of them both from Christmas a couple of years back, looking frozen as frost glistens on the croquet lawn outside Leeds Castle's main entrance. We chatted about me coming back as Father Christmas this December, a visit I am making in February during their archaeological "Big Dig" week and for my return in May for a mega Jousting Tournament. They then took me to lunch in the Fairfax Hall, along with John the Estate Manager and top bloke and we had a really nice time.

So there you have it! Back to normal next week with appearances at Archbishop Cranmer School in Taunton, South Green Junior in Billericay and Godstowe Prep in High Wycombe. All that AND Matthew Applegate's 50th birthday party. But I didn't tell you about that, alright?

Milton Park, Weston-Super-Mare

Gosh, I am tired tonight. Why is it I always forget how long it takes to get to Weston-Super-Mare from here? It takes about an hour and I was also breaking in a new sat nav today. Yes, poor old Doris is no more. I have been running the poor old thing on batteries since her power supply broke a while ago - you may recall me talking about it when I was visiting Blundells in Tiverton. Well, yesterday I purchased a new Doris. Doris II you might say, and today was her baptism of fire and it was a less than auspicious start. I know how to get to the M5 from here, but Doris II seemed hell bent on getting me to the A303 for some reason, completely the wrong direction. Anyway, she pulled through in the end and we made it to Milton Park Primary.

It was a great warm welcome I received from the staff and teachers, and it was a lovely warm day as well, so what more could we ask for. The school was great fun, about 60 children, all very excited and enthusiastic, and the morning seemed shoot past at great speed. I was invited to appear at this school by one of the teachers who had appeared with me on one of the panels I been on when appearing at BBC Somerset's "Morning Jo Show" a while back. It really was a fun day - lots of laughs and some great joining in with the children. After a fine lunch it was all back in the hall again for the afternoon stocks and the jousting tournament. After the preliminaries, the final was a raucous affair with the ladies finally winning through in great style. So this brings our current year totals to stand at:

GENTLEMEN 3 - 2 LADIES

So it is all back in the melting pot again! Doris II got me home safe and sound via Ilminster where I popped into Bilby's for a cuppa, and I have spent a fruitless evening trying to find some glimpses of Manchester City playing in the UEFA Cup on TV. They had virtually every other game on this evening, even Motherwell in France, but not City. And what is more galling? We actually won! What a nice day.

Highbury Junior School, Cosham, Hants

Between 1998 and 2003 I worked for a company called Skandia Life in Southampton. At first I was a computer operator on an AS400 machine, and later I was shoved into working on the telephone system for the company. For the majority of the time I thoroughly enjoyed the job and the friends I made there. I was known to all and sundry in the company as "Charlie" Farley. It was only the final six months at the company that were totally intolerable for me and that was mainly due to one half witted manager there who had it in for me. (Don't worry folks, clever clever Farley gave him both barrells in my exit interview, and to be honest it was a wonderfully cathartic episode!). But the reason why I mention Skandia Life now is that for the whole nearly five years I worked for them, I commuted in from Somerset - every day. A round trip in my car of around 150 miles a day, and I never thought anything of it! Mind you, neither did the managers at Skandia. So today I was driving from Somerset to Cosham near Portsmouth, a more or less copy of my old days driving to Southampton and back every day. How on Earth did I manage it every day? The drive alone was enough to half kill me, but then I did a days work on top of it...

Today was my first ever visit to Highbury Junior School in Cosham. The lovely lady who booked me - Katie Jennings - had heard about me on the TES (Times Educational Supplement) Forum on line. Some people had been saying some very nice things about my Henry VIIIth days, and she booked me on that strength. Well, it was a fabulous school full of some of the sparkiest, funniest pupils you could ever wish to meet. It was a mixture of years 5 and 6, plus a small smattering of year 4's, in total nearly 100 pupils. The day was just a joy from start to finish, lots of laughs, lots of good knowledge and loads of interest in the whole Tudor thing. What a wonderful school! We even had one great bit of knowledge - I was asking the children if they knew the name of Henry's older brother who died young (his name was Arthur in case you were guessing), and one little lad put his hand up and told me it was "Larry". Larry Tudor? Has a sort of ring to it, don't you think?

After a lovely lunch of roast beef it was all in the hall for the afternoon session. Plenty of laughs with a young lad I was pretending to punish for begging, and then the jousting... wow, what a jousting session. It was a close run thing, but in the end the gents ran out winners. So that makes the running score in the head to head jousting tournament:

GENTLEMEN 3 - 1 LADIES

So, come on ladies! Pull your socks up! I am up in Weston-super-Mare on Thursday for another day, so the ladies will have a chance to pull one back.

St Andrew's Junior School, Yetminster

A brand new school today for me. I cannot even begin to remember the last time I had ever been to Yetminster - some good years ago that's for sure. But here I was! Now St Andrew's Junior is a delightful school and I was doing a full Tudor day with years 3, 4, 5 & 6 all in one! A grand total of about 90 children. And they were all such nice kids, in some quite spectacular costumes and full of enthusiasm and laughter. We had a great day!

The teachers were all delightful as well, including a very nice chap who had the good taste and sense to be a mad keen Manchester City fan like myself. I was very upset when the children voted that he should go in the stocks later on.

Yetminster is a beautiful big village/small town, and it also has a very nice village shop where I got my lunch from today. Then back to the afternoon we pushed on with the stocks session and were joined eventually by the rest of the infants who came in to watch the jousting tournament. Some of the little ones found the noise a bit much, but the rest of them joined in with gusto! It was a hard fought contest and it was the gents who finally snatched victory. So the ongoing score is now:

GENTLEMEN 2 - 1 LADIES

Tomorrow I am visiting Highbury Junior School in Cosham in Hampshire. Another new school!

Barrington Court Walkabout

A lovely summers day at last! And in the middle of September! When it was roasting back in 2006, we were frequently warned by various people that this was "global warming". Now we have frozen and been soaked for the last two summers they are now telling us it is "climate change". Personally I preferred global warming, so I am off out to buy some CFC packed aerosols and about three elderly fridges.

But back to today at Barrington Court - it was just a joy to be there. Lots of people, everyone in happy moods, Matthew Applegate in fine form and the sunshine... wow, the sunshine. How we have missed you.

I am now sitting here in a warm glow of a lovely day, just gearing up to watch the Last Night of the Proms, and getting my usual ridiculous lump in the throat when they sing Jerusalem. I mean, I ask you. I'm not even a member of the WI.

Monday I am at St Andrew's Junior in Yetminster, Dorset. See you there.

Manor Court School, Chard

Back in 2004, just when Henry was getting going for me, one of the very first schools in Somerset to book me was Manor Court Junior in Duck Lane in Chard. Today I returned for my fifth annual visit. For the very first time the very wonderful Lizzie Reynolds was not about - she was off on a course I believe, but I was Royally well looked after as usual with vast amounts of cups of tea and lots of good company and laughter with the staff.

It was a Year 6 group today - about 65 of them. They were terrific fun, very switched on and, even though they were at the beginnings of their studies when it came to the Tudor era, there was still a great deal of good knowledge among the group.

The morning was truncated somewhat by losing about 45 minutes to a school assembly which then spilled over into the morning tea break. At lunch time I wandered down into Chard, but whereas last year I had gone into Bilby's and seen Wendy for a homemade sandwich, today (as Bilby's in Chard is no longer Bilby's - if you follow) I took to the august portals of Somerfields and bought a couple of sarnies in there. I have to say I was feeling tired what with all the travel and shows I have done this week, so I think I was excused the fact that, whilst basking in the post sandwich haze of the warm and cosy staff room, I nodded off! I hadn't fallen asleep in a staff room since one of my first visits to the Maynard School in Exeter!

The afternoon was great fun and built up steadily to a good climax. Now I know you are eager to know who won the jousting. Well I can tell you. It was the LADIES! Therefore, the score on the 2008/09 Jousting Schools Challenge now stands at:

GENTLEMEN 1 - 1 LADIES

The next installment of this ongoing saga is on Monday when I travel to Yetminster in Dorset and my first ever visit to St Andrew's School there. If you would like to come and meet Henry in the flesh so to speak, I am appearing at Barrington Court tomorrow afternoon between about 12 noon and 4pm. See you there!

West Leigh Junior

Be in no doubt - West Leigh Junior is a wonderful school. I do sometimes find performing a Henry day for year 3 pupils can be hard work. Sometimes they can be a little too young and don't really "get" the day. So when I discovered that my day at West Leigh was going to be with a group of 128 year three children my heart sank a little. But I need not have worried. They were fantastic! Really switched on and savvy. Bright, bouncy and with lots of good knowledge of the Tudor era already. There were occasions when they almost got a bit too excited, but I prefer a group of children that way, rather than when they just sit in shell shocked silence with the look of beached cods and obviously thinking "Who is this fat dude in the tights?"

The teachers and their classroom assistants were just lovely. So friendly and welcoming and nothing was too much bother for them. I even got my lunch bought for me which was very kind indeed. The morning was chock full of laughs and the afternoon was even better. The jousting tournament was a rowdy affair as I am sure you can imagine, what with 128 very excited children in a confined space. Their cheering and roaring on of the teams nearly took the roof off the hall we were in! The ladies seemed to have it sewn up in the final, but a simply brilliant final leg by the final young man allowed to gents to snatch victory on the last quoit. Brilliant stuff. I am going to keep score for this academic year and see who has the most wins, so with only one school done, the Henry VIIIth Joust-O-Meter shows the score to be:

GENTLEMEN 1- 0 LADIES

Watch this space for more scores. And not long to wait. I am back at dear old Manor Court in Chard tomorrow for more of the same!

Dillington House Open Day

Dillington House is a wonderful country Tudor house near Ilminster in Somerset. It is used as an adult education centre, conference centre and also a venue for weddings and "events". I was invited along to their annual Open Day, when all sorts of different exhibits are put on for the potential future pupil!

Today I arrived and began wheeling my case up to reception. On the forecourt to the building there were various tents and canopies being erected, and three marvellous old cars were on display. One big Rolls Royce, a massive yellow Lanchester and....another one. Sorry, I never got to actually see what the model was! There was also a collection of vintage motor bikes, including a very handsome old Triumph model.

I was given a key to one of the hotel rooms upstairs to use as a changing room and I was soon in my purple Henry costume wandering around and doing a sort of Barrington Court day, i.e. leaping out of bushes and startling people! Lots of people knew me, there were various people who had seen me at Barrington Court, some teachers and secretaries from schools like Martock, Avishayes in Chard and even from Brookside in Street.

After a delicious lunch up in my room I was off patrolling the grounds again. A brass band pumped out the oompah music on the lawn while numerous photos of me were taken posing with different people. Next a demonstration of Tai Chi began on the lawns, but I soon scarpered as they started getting people from the audience to take part. Not a chance of Henry doing that! After the Tai Chi was an energetic demonstration of Appellachan Clog Dancing (if I have spelt that right!) which was tremendously entertaining. After a cup of tea and a slice of fruit cake I was ready to take on the World again.

I was approached by a couple of artists to see if I was interested in posing for a portrait - one gentleman who uses coloured pencils to great effect, and a lovely lady who paints beautiful still lifes and portraits. Why not!

This was a lovely day meeting some wonderful people in beautiful surrounds. What more could a Tudor despot ask for?

Next Henry show on Wednesday at West Leigh Junior in Southend.

St Bartholomew's Church Fete

I was asked by my old friend Ann Ball (formerly of Axe Valley Players) if I would come along and be Henry at the St Bartholomew's Church Fete in Crewkerne today. I was delighted to accept.

If we are having an Indian Summer then we are in the depths of a monsoon season. Yesterday it poured and poured without a break, and really did not bode well for the Church Fete today. However, the sun was shining brightly, if a little bit watery, as Saturday dawned.

I parked in the car park nearest to the church and trundled my case over. I was to be working with the Crewkerne Town Crier again, the same chap I had worked with at the School Fete back in June. We had a truly lovely day, loads of people milling about, lots of fun and laughter with lots of different people, and plenty of money raised for the Church funds.

There was a fantastic alternative Morris Dancing group called the Tiddly Tigers or some such, who, though dressed in traditional Morris men gear then proceeded to dance to a very loud version of "Tiger Feet" by Mud, complete with thumbs stuck in waist bands and shoulders waving about (see Top of the Pops circa 1973 and you'll know what I mean!). It was truly hilarious. There was also a chap with them dressed up as Captain Jack Sparrow from the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. He looked a lot like Johnny Depp, in a way that anyone would who stuck on a Johnny Depp/Captain Jack Sparrow costume and wore a false goatee beard with lots of eye liner on. Still, you pays your money, etc etc.

I popped back home for a quick moment to draw breath and then I am going over to Anne Ball's house to see her and her husband and she is going to cook supper. Smashing!

Tomorrow, I am over at Dillington House near Ilminster for their open day.

Henry's Horrid History, Barrington Court

So, how did we do? Did we pack the place out with over 100 people? Er....no, we didn't. However, from a standing start to the actual show (in total probably only about 6 weeks) we must have got in somewhere like 35 people, which was most gratifying.

I got to the Court House at about 6pm and Matthew and his assistant, Rachel, were already dashing round the place getting seating ready etc. I was brought a very welcoming cup of tea from Matthew's wife, Sue, and then set about writing a short biography about me to be left on every seat in the hall. I then went to the small dining room which was my luxury dressing room for the evening and started to get ready. I had a clear view up the drive and was delighted to see a few cars and people on foot approaching, very obviously coming to see the show.

Matthew did his opening "trolley dolly" talk about escape routes in case of fire etc., welcomed everyone to Barrington Court and then introduced me. Well the show went marvellously. The whole audience seemed tuned in and laughed in the right places, and I was delighed to see my landlord, David Lockyer in the audience! We had a break after about 35 minutes and the guests were encouraged to buy a few drinks in the grand hall. Soon they were back with me in the great kitchen and the second half continued. Matthew and Rachel had a different problem to sort out as a Thrush had flown in attracted by the lights on a dark night. So they missed the whole of the second half chasing the bird around.

I finished to a great ovation after some music and waited by the front door to bid farewell to the audience. I helped Matthew and his helpers to clean up and then made my way home. Since then I have had a few days in Wales with my lovely sister Susan, then a few days in Essex and finally stopped off to see the company Past Pleasures at their head office in Wormley in Surrey. But more of that later....

Back in the BBC

I was back on BBC Somerset again yesterday morning, for another appearance on the panel with the lovely Jo Phillips and the sainted Emma Britton. It was a great panel this time around. A lovely guy called Jim and a really attractive lady called Michelle - both very sparky personalities as well. We had great fun discussing various items of news. Jo Phillips was particularly keen that we should talk about the Channel 4 show "Embarrassing Illnesses", which as you can imagine threw up some hilarious moments. I was on to plug my "Henry's Horrid History" show at Barrington Court on August 29th and I think I did quite well with my sales pitch. I also got a phone message from a guy in Yeovil called John who thought I was very funny and should have my own show on BBC Somerset! Thank you John, whoever you are! After finishing the show I did some poster putting up in Shepton Beauchamp and the surrounds for the forthcoming show. I then headed over to Tatworth to see my friends Jo and Pete. In the evening I went over to Shepton Beauchamp and the lovely Duke of York pub for a beer with Matthew Applegate from Barrington Court.

This morning I have been into Ilminster to do some leafleting, in my full Henry gear! It was great walking about the town, accosting people and having a laugh and a joke with them. I got rid of nearly 100 leaflets, so fingers crossed we might get a big crowd in on Friday night. I will be going out again this afternoon to put even more posters up and continue to try and drum up support for this great show. Come and join me on Friday night at Barrington Court!

Somerset Rural Life Museum, Glastonbury

Back at the Somerset Rural Life Museum for the first time since October 2006, I was really looking forward to this day. As you can see from the picture taken today and forwarded to me by the lovely Nicky at the Rural Life Museum, here I am getting to grips with one of my fans! It looks like she is poised to kick me savagely in the shins doesn't it?

The day was great! The venue for the talks is the imperssive Abbey Barn - an early 14th century tithe barn of formidable proportions. It's vaulted, hammer beam roof gives it a wonderful echo and reverb if you want to air your tonsils with a few stentorian blasts - which I did! The groups of people who came in were really good - enthusiastic and laughing in the right spots. Always a good thing. I did four talks in the day, and the third and fourth were interrupted at different intervals by invading chickens from the yard, who took it upon themselves to wander into the barn and then cluck loudly in the darkened corners, much to the merriment of some of the children there! I also got an elderly heckler for the final show, but slowed her up sharply with a couple of witty replies. She left early, telling the people on the front desk that I was "too enthusiastic". I have had various complaints aimed at me over the years, but never "too enthusiastic". How bizarre. It was truly a lovely day and a pleasure to appear at such a fine and wonderful museum. I just hope they want me back at some point.

On Wednesday I am back with the lovely Jo Phillips on BBC Somerset and then I am at Barrington Court on Friday evening for my "Henry's Horrid History" show. Tickets still available on 01460 241938. Come and join me!

Henry's Horrid History - Coming Soon!

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET KING HENRY VIIITH

IN PERSON?

Past Presence Ltd presents...

Henry's Horrid History

or

The Life and Times of Henry VIIIth

at Barrington Court National Trust Property, Somerset

Friday, August 29th, 7.30pm

Tickets £7.50 adults

£5.00 children

Not really suitable for under 10's

Call 01460 241938 for tickets and more details

Royal Parks Half Marathon - the photoshoot!

So here they are! The final five photos chosen by those who know to be used to publicise the Royal Parks Half Marathon. For more details on the run, how to get sponsorship and to get an entry form, please go to http://www.royalparkshalf.com/ it should make everything clearer!

Britain's Next Top Model

In my extended family we have a supermodel. It’s true! Her name is Lily Cole and she looks like a little china doll (as you can see right) – a typical supermodel. From a distance she looks like a spoon with a ginger wig on. Closer examination makes her look like one of the aliens from Close Encounters – also in a ginger wig. But now my family might suddenly have a new supermodel in it’s midst as I did my first ever photo shoot as a professional model! It’s true – stop laughing. I had been contacted by the Royal Parks Society for a promotional shoot advertising their forthcoming Half Marathon in Hyde Park.
I rose at the crack of dawn and headed up to Crewkerne Station to catch the 6.42 to London Waterloo. I pilfered a seat and settled down with my John O’Farrell book and promptly fell asleep. The sleeping was a good idea as it made the journey a lot shorter (or just seemed shorter) – perhaps I should try that next time I am driving a long distance? During my lucid moments it was nice to see the English summer countryside rushing by, with one small complaint – too much foliage. You’d get a glimpse in the distance of some interesting looking building and it would then just be swallowed up by greenery. Chop it all down! On entering central London it was nice to see the Houses of Parliament, the London Eye and even the MI5 building as we swept into Waterloo. I trundled the ridiculously heavy Henry costume in it’s suitcase on wheels out of the front of the building and over to the Taxi rank. A very nice driver took me up to Hyde Park and to the Royal Parks office at the Old Police House which is a bit of a misnomer as the place is still used by loads of Police! I was greeted by some lovely ladies from the Royal Parks people and, after quickly getting into the Henry gear we were soon driving over to Kensington Gardens for the photo shoot near the Round Pond. The photographer was a nice guy called Andy Lane, and there was, among others, Sophie Rivett-Carnac from Forster plus Hannah Cottrill and Sally Barney from the Royal Parks, plus Sarah Igglesden who was to be our “jogger” for the photo shoot. The set up was me as Henry, armed with shears, with a topiary figure of a runner which I am supposed to be trimming, while Sarah runs past behind me, causing me to cast a glance over my shoulder. We did this over and over, all slightly different positions, poses etc, with lots of bizarre glances being chucked our way by bemused passers by. We tried almost every permutation you could imagine, and then moved on to having Henry sitting at a park bench reading a newspaper as Sarah jogs by – these produced some of the funniest shots of the day, and masses of interest from various tourists walking past.
With the photo shoot complete myself and one of the lovely ladies from Royal Parks (sorry I forgot your name!) walked the topiary figure back towards the Serpentine Art Gallery balanced on a glorified wheelbarrow. The sight of England’s greatest post medieval monarch walking a wheelbarrow across Kensington Gardens with a topiary figure balanced on the top was almost too much for some tourists and we became a target for many a camera lens. We paused briefly to rest as the whole thing was very heavy, and a very nice lady taking her dog for a walk came over to see this bizarre site and ask what the heck was going on. It was Jenny Seagrove! The gorgeous actress from Judge John Reed and Local Hero and A Woman of Substance. I explained my job as Henry VIIIth and what we had been up to today; she thought it sounded a hoot. I kissed her hand and thanked her for Local Hero as it is still one of my all time favourite movies. She was just lovely.
After a quick cup of tea at the Old Police House I was driven down to Hyde Park Corner where I hailed a cab and was soon on my way to Waterloo. Another lovely driver, we had a good chat and I was soon on the concourse. Sadly my train wasn’t due for 40 minutes, so I grabbed a sandwich from M&S and sat on my case waiting for the time to arrive. I was one of the first on and got myself a seat. By the time we got to Salisbury the train split in two with only the first three carriages going on towards Crewkerne where I wanted to go. Of course everyone from the back three carriages came forward and packed though we already were, we were soon even MORE packed. A little old lady staggered on, so I offered her my seat. She accepted less than graciously, but I refrained from my desire to punch her teeth down her throat and throw her off the train as we thundered through Tisbury. I stood all the way from Salisbury in the corridor by the loo. Very nice. So glad I paid £78 for this privilege. I was forced to look on as a very smug young couple sat being smug, young and in love in one of the comfy looking seats, the particularly smug looking young lady with her ickle wickle doggy woggy in her arms, feeding it ickle wickle treatsy weatsies. Another two doomed for a quick exit near Tisbury methinks.
Home for cuddles with the cat and a bottle of Aussie Shiraz to celebrate. Watch yer back Lily Cole – I could be the next “willowy one” in the family…

Henry's Horrid History

Past Presence Ltd Presents...

Henry's Horrid History

or

The Life and Times of Henry VIIIth

at

Barrington Court National Trust Property

Friday August 29th 2008 7.30pm

Tickets £7.50 adults

£5.00 children

Call 01460 241938 to book tickets

Featuring the UK's number one professional Henry VIIIth re-enactor, Good King Hal! History, laughter and music combine for an unforgettable experience in beautiful Tudor surroundings. Not suitable for children under 10.

http://www.goodkinghal.co.uk/

Dementia Care Trust, Weston-super-Mare

Sometime ago, whilst making one of my many appearances at Barrington Court, a very nice lady asked for my details as she thought I might be suitable for a luncheon club she knew of, which was part of the Dementia Care Trust. All this while later I was contacted about a month or so ago and asked to attend on this day.

It takes about an hour to get up to Weston from Clapton, and the weather today was lousy in the extreme. The added fun was that a brand new superstore had been built where my Sat Nav said I had to go, so ignoring Doris' complaints I drove past it and on, and she eventually calmed down and found where I wanted to go. After dashing in and getting changed, I was on almost straight away. There must have been about 50 people there, some carers, some of them sufferers of dementia, but the talk went down really well - lots of laughs, and the original lovely lady from Barrington there again with her daughter! I did about an hour and finished to loud applause. I quickly changed back into my civvies and was invited to join the group for lunch. We had a lovely meal of roast pork followed by cinammon rice pudding - delicious. I sat and chatted to a charming couple, the gentleman being a former clown, called Jackie the Clown, who though in the early stages of dementia is trying to write his memoirs about his wartime service with the RAF and his work in entertaining the troops. His book he hopes to have published will be called "The Clown Who Went To War" - remember you heard it here first folks.

I will be taking part in a photo shoot next Monday up at Hyde Park for the Royal Parks Society. More info as and when I know it myself.

Tudor Day at Southchurch Hall

Sunday saw me back in Sunny Essex for a visit to Southchurch Hall Museum in Southend for their annual Tudor Day. I had no idea this was such a big event - as I arrived re-enactors were setting up already with various stalls showing how a fletcher works, plus a potter, a scrivener, various herbalists and even a guy with a genuine ancient lathe.

My opening part of the day was just a walkabout meet and greet, which was great as the place was packed. As I wandered round the side of the house a figure suddenly ran full tilt from one of the doors, straight at me. He was dressed as a peasant, and with a great leap prostrated himself at my feet.

"MAJESTY!" He yelled at top volume. Everyone turned and looked towards us. "GRAVE NEWS FROM PORTSMOUTH!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. I was a little taken aback and wasn't sure quite how to react. He then launched into a full 15 minute account of the sinking of the Mary Rose in old English, complete with screaming, eye rolling, hand ringing, lots of sweating and more over acting than a container truck full of Robert Newtons. On finishing he walked away from me to the sound of polite applause and the occasional child saying "Mummy, I'm scared." About two hours later, whilst sitting on my throne in the main hall having a rest, there is a blur or movement and suddenly this lunatic is launching into his Mary Rose routine all over again. More screaming, sweating, shaking and hollering, and as we are indoors this time, as he finishes there is a group of about 100 people looking on. He walks out of the room to polite applause and all 100 pairs of eyes turn towards me expecting something similar. I smile lamely at them and then say "And now, the weather..." which got a great laugh.

My two talks went really well, especially the second one outside which attracted something like 150 people all round me as I went through the usual Henry stuff. I met some lovely people at the do, especially the wonderful man who works at Hampton Court Palace and has promised possible great things in the future. Also a big "Hello" to the lovely people from the St John's Ambulance people and the delightful Lisa from Southend Pier!

It was a great day and a joy to perform at. I am really looking forward to going back there again next August. Tomorrow, Tuesday, I am doing an after lunch talk for the Dementia Care Trust Charity in Weston-super-Mare, and no, before you ask, not on the pier.

Cobbaton Combat Museum, Devon

Here we see Matthew Applegate, Visitors Services Manager at Barrington Court, showing utter disdain for Hitler and his entire war machine, by posing in front of a Sherman Tank a good 60 years after the war finished.

It was our "lads day out"! Matthew and I had been planning for a few weeks for a trip to Cobbaton Combat Museum, a privately owned collection of militaria in the Devon countryside, so we could enjoy looking at the tanks, but also so we could have a look at their prices when it came to de-activated weapons and uniforms (all for research into my forthcoming WWII Home Guard shows). I picked up Matthew from Barrington Court at about 11am and we drove down the M5 and turned off at the Tiverton exit. We fairly quickly found the museum, but it was more than definitely lunch by this time and as I had done the driving and paid for the fuel, Matthew offered to buy lunch. I refused his offer of a Pot Noodle and a glass of water and instead we began a hunt for a pub, and what a pub did we find! We drove to the village of Chittlehampton and went into the Bell Inn. If you are down in this area of Devon I can highly recommend it - great food and fabulous beer. I would have been quite happy to stay there all day, but it was time to head back to Cobbaton and the museum.

It was an interesting stroll round the exhibits and they have some marvellous stuff there, but by God do they need a Museum Manager. Most of the exhibits are caked in dust, and we are talking YEARS-WORTH rather than just weeks. Quite a few of the photo exhibits are water or condensation damaged and a major portion of the entire exhibition seems to be cobwebs. Most of the tanks and people carriers seem to be used as storage cupboards as well as exhibits. You also find large swathes of exhibits with absolutely no information on them at all - you just have to guess. Despite me sounding very negative, please understand this museum is well worth a visit - but it could be so much better.

Back to Somerset we tried to stop for a pint somewhere but were just a bit too early for anywhere to be open yet, so it was back to Matthew's flat in Strode House and a cup of tea. Very nice, but a pint would have been better!

This weekend it is up to Essex for an appearance as Henry at Southminster Museum in Southend. See you there.

Cricket!

This Saturday just gone was the annual Clapton v Wayford long grass cricket match. As you can see from the picture on the right, the pitch was a little...ahem...rough, and helpful to all the bowlers. Now you have to remember that Clapton is a small village just outside Crewkerne in Somerset, and Wayford is a tiny hamlet attached to Clapton. So who had the most players who turned up? Yup! Wayford. I played for my village, Clapton, for the fourth year running. I hadn't intended to play, being somewhat hampered by being the size of the R101 and also having had a dodgy ankle for the past year, but David Lockyer came round and after showing me a photo of W.G. Grace and sobbing into a copy of Wisden's Almanack he convinced me to turn out.

For the first time in many years it was a beautiful day - if anything, it was too hot. But a splended match was played and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Wayford won the toss and inexplicably decided to bat. Clapton took regular wickets, but a couple of their players made big scores. Playing in the match reminded me just what it is I love about cricket - it is such a contest on so many levels, cerebral as well as physical. Now I haven't played regularly since I left Essex over 10 years ago, and when I was first brought on to bowl by my captain, David, the incumbent Wayford batsman was a young strapping lad of about 18, covered in muscles and obviously someone who had played a lot of village cricket and he seemed determined to smote me to all corners of the ground. So I took him on, firing in deliveries to his toes, or if he charged down the pitch to me, I would drop the ball in short and make him worry about where the hell it was going to go. And if you had seen the pitch, trust me you'd know it was a mind bender. Just a strip of grass mown short and then with a Land Rover driven over it a few times. My first over to him, despite some huge heaves he took at my slow trundling deliveries, was a maiden - perfect. He finally got me away for a four in my second over, but that was the only scoring shot he got off me. I was very happy! I snaffled a couple of late wickets to give me figures of 4-1-15-2. I was pleased with my work. We contained Wayford to 134 from their 30 overs.

After a lovely tea interval it was our turn to bat, and after a sparkling start from David and sundry others, we got a bit bogged down in the middle order, with poor old Charlie Swaffield unable to connect his swishing bat to any ball, time after time! By the time I came in, quick runs were the order of the day and I scampered through (OK, waddled) to get to three before being caught in the deep off a desperate heave. Clapton succumbed to 116 all out. So Wayford won for the first time in three years, but it was just a complete joy to play in such a lovely atmosphere.

In the evening I wandered over to Barrington Court and watched an hilarious comedy history show about all of England's monarchs down the years. Obviously their impersonation of Henry VIIIth was not a patch on mine (I wish!) but the rest of the show was brilliant.

A visit to Cobbatton Combat Museum with Matthew Applegate of Barrington is the order of the day this Wednesday. I shall report back then!

St Michael's School, Twerton

It was time for my final school appearance of the academic year and it was to be a brand new school for me - St Michael's in Twerton on the outskirts of Bath. I always forget just how long it takes to get to Bath from here - just over an hour or so, but luckily the traffic wasn't too bad and I made pretty good time. Earlier this month I had visited Paulton Junor near Bath (see this blog passim) and we had enjoyed a really fabulous day at that lovely school. Well the teacher I dealt with there, her other half is head teacher at Twerton, hence how they came to know about me so soon!

Now it may have been a small group today, only about 45 at most, but by God what they lacked in numbers they more than made up for in noise! Back in the 70's Monty Python released various books and in one of them there was a pretend advert for a series of albums called "Records for the Deaf" and it contained such delights as "Lulu Shrieks George Gershwin" and "This is Concorde!" each with however many decibels each album was. Well, if that advert had been for real, they could record the group I had today and THEY could be released as an album for the deaf. The day shot past in a very jolly manner with some fabulously over excited children and some charming teachers and classroom assistants.

After a lovely lunch of chicken pie with oodles of gravy the afternoon was almost a blur. The jousting competition was of some of the highest quality you could want to see with the gents just pipping the ladies in the final. What lovely day!

This has been a fabulous year with visits here there and everywhere. From doing the King's Royal Progress back in August 2007, via Henry's Horrid History at Leeds Castle in October, from frequent chats with Jo Phillips on BBC Somerset and also through Barrington Court and the Ilminster Festival, thanks to everyone who has been involved so far. There is so much more to come.

Birchfield School & then a kick in the teeth!

And it all started so well... I set my alarm bright and early for the short drive over to Birchfield Primary School in Yeovil, but then promptly fell asleep. I was re-awoken by my cat patting my face and demanding breakfast. A morning that had promised to be a nice relaxed slow get ready and go turned into a panic fuelled stagger around amid much swearing and nearly falling downstairs. Somehow I managed to arrive at the school on time and was greeted by the same wonderful teacher as before - such a sweet lady! And all the other staff were wonderful. It was a good sized group of children, two classes, and they were very excitable and were challenging at times. But the day went really well and there were laughs aplenty. The jousting was of high quality and I really thought the ladies were going to walk away with it, but in the final the gents managed to get ahead and held on for a fine win, amid much screaming and cheering!

I had just loaded everything into the car for the journey home when I got a voicemail message on my mobile. It was from Emma Vulliamy from Channel 4 who I was due to be filming with tomorrow near Wellington. The owners of the Tudor stately pile where I was due to meet them and film, decided that my travel expenses were too much for them to afford and I was no longer needed for the show. A bit of a kick in the teeth to say the least as I was really looking forward to this opportunity. Emma was full of apologies and said unfortunately it was out of her hands, and that she was disappointed as she and the crew had been looking forward to working with me. An unfortunate end to a funny old day...

Next week I am at St Michael's School near Bath for the last Henry day in a school for the academic year. And what a year it's been.

Paulton Junior - Carmarthen - BBC Somerset

Last Friday, after a dreadfully bad sleep, I was up bright and early for what was to prove to be a long day. The school visit to Paulton, just to the south of Bath and Bristol, was wonderful. Such a superb school! The kids were brilliant, laughing uproariously at most of the gags - one little girl in particular with a booming chuckle was in hysterics for most of the day! The teachers were charming and great fun to be with, and I can honestly say that I haven't enjoyed a school as much as that for a long time. Probably not since the heady days of Ian Gouge at West Pennard - hello Ian! After a belting Joust I was then on my way - but not home. I was heading up to Wales to visit my sister, her husband and my parents who were visiting her for her birthday. We had a really joyous weekend, lots of fun and laughs and probably too much to eat. On the Sunday we had a lovely visit to Laugharne, the home of Dylan Thomas and then had a fine light lunch at the Owl and the Pussycat Restaurant. I drove home at about 6.30pm on the Sunday evening and got back home at about 10pm.

I was up bright and early on the Monday morning as I was off to BBC Somerset for ANOTHER appearance on Jo Phillips' "Morning Jo Show" morning panel. It was great to see Jo again, she was looking as delightful as ever. Emma Britton was missing today, recovering from a Hen Weekend in Bournemouth! It was a great show and one well worth listening to again, which you can do at www.bbc.co.uk/somerset and choose the "Listen Again" feature.

On Thursday this week I am doing some filming for Channel 4 - more info about that on this blog later in the week. Before that I am back for a return visit to Birchfield School in Yeovil on the Wednesday. This is going to be a nice week.

An Important Request

At approximately 12.30pm today, while I was out and about, a school phoned and left a message for me. Unfortunately, the quality of the line was so bad that I just cannot make out who the school is or even what their phone number is. If by some miracle you are reading this blog and you know a school has tried to contact me, can you ask them to try again! And if I'm not here can they speak up when leaving a message. It is a woman's voice, the school seems to have a double-barrelled name and the final three digits of the telephone number seem to be 229, but don't quote me on that. I have listened to the message over and over, and still cannot understand a clear word at all, apart from the fact that they loved my outgoing message. So please if you are that school. I am not ignoring you - I just don't know who you are!

Actually, come to think of it - a lot of people read this blog (I know that as the hit counter keeps going up and up very quickly), so show me you read it by leaving me messages! I would very much appreciate that.

Sometime later that same day...

It was Ditcheat Primary School! HOORAY!! Another case solved by Henry VIIIth and his intuitive powers (and the internet).

What a Silly King...

Now, one of the first things you must do when putting all your forthcoming Henry appearances on a calendar, is that if any get postponed or cancelled, scribble them out straightaway. Back in September 2007 I was contacted by Daubeney School in Bedford to say that my impending visit on the 8th July 2008 would have to be shifted to another date. Nothing was ever finalised and so consequently the 8th July 2008 is now a non-day for me. But of course I, being a very silly King, didn't cross it off my calendar all those months ago. So today I have been preparing paperwork, cleaning costumes and preparing to buy vast quantities of petrol, when luckily I checked some old emails. I was only really checking to see what price I had quoted Daubeney as the prices have changed this year. And there it was on my screen, in black and white - day cancelled! Good job I looked. So, in the words of Spike Milligan from the wonderful Q-series (all together now):

What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) What are we going to do now? (move closer to camera) Etc. etc. ad infinitum.

Wandsworth and Bishop's Stortford

I always know when it is time for me to visit Finton House School in Wandsworth. There are always certain hints and clues that it is that time of year again. Firstly, it is Wimbledon Fortnight, and secondly, on the drive to the school you will always hear the words on the radio weather forecast "today is likely to be the hottest day of the year so far!" And it happened again this year! With temperatures on Tuesday rocketing to the upper 20's I knew I was going to be in for a hard time of it in the robes, so I reduced my overheating chances by not wearing my Henry "bodice" today and went for the plain shirt and pantaloons look. Much more agreeable. It was a small group as ever at Finton House, but a nice one. About 25 children, all girls bar one lad! Very strange. They were a remarkably quiet group during the morning, but perked up a bit by lunchtime, and the afternoon was a real hoot with some great moments, particularly in the jousting when, unsurprisingly with their huge advantage in numbers, a team of just ladies won. The drive out of Wandsworth and over to my parents in Essex was enough to make you want to chew your own foot off. It was slow, hot, bad tempered and chock full of cars wherever I went. But at last I made it. For a large part of the journey the temperature sensor on the outside of my trust Peugeot reckoned it was 35 degrees outside and I could almost believe it.

Today found me making a first appearance at a new school. I was off to Hillmead Junior in Bishop's Stortford, a really nice school with some genuinely lovely teachers there who were very friendly, especially the charming South African lady who looked after the reception class children. Again it was a small group of about 25, but a much more diverse mix and we had a really lovely day. Lots of laughs and fun and some of the children showing some quite brilliant knowledge of the Tudors. One young lady got a perfect score on my Tudor quiz, not something that happens very often. Well done to her!

After a rip roaring jousting session I was on my way and the journey home was slightly less fraught than the long march back from Wandsworth the day before, despite the A414 being gridlocked in one place.

Had dinner with my parents and my wife and son - lovely fish and chips from the good Fish'n Chick'n Bar in Rayleigh Road, Hutton. And then after watching Andy Murray being steam rollered into submission by Rafal Nadal I was on my way and back home. Ah! Bed!

Early morning photo shoot for Western Gazette

Chris Sweet, Crewkerne based writer for the Western Gazette Newspaper, is doing an article about me next week. It is all about the launch in September of the new improved re-enactment company entitled Past Presence Ltd. He was hoping to arrange a photographer from the Wester Gazette to be around last night at the St Bartholomew's School Fete, but most of them had scarpered to the Glastonbury Festival apparently. Anyway, he phoned again yesterday and said he had found someone who could do the photo shoot today (Saturday), but that the photographer would be with me at 9am.

The picture you see with this entry is how I looked at about 8.45am when the front door bell went and the photographer I had completely forgotten about turned up. At the very moment he pressed my front door bell I was about to step into the shower - that's how unready I was. I spoke rather grumpily to the chap on the front step (apologies for that!) and told him to wait in the back garden and I would be with him ASAP. I somehow managed to get showered, shaved and something else beginning with "S" (scrubbed?) in about 10 seconds flat. I then hurriedly threw on the Henry gear and was almost ready for the shoot. Of course the one thing Chris Sweet and I had planned for the shoot was for me to be posing, in Henry gear with two books - one about the Second World War and the other about Ancient Egypt (the two new eras we will be covering when Past Presence Ltd goes "live"). Could I find two books at a seconds notice for this shoot? Luckily I had Roy Jenkins' biography of Churchill to hand, that would do for the Second World War, but Egypt? I tore round the house and the only thing to hand was a Terry Deary book. Now as you know, I love Mr Deary about as much as your average Hassidic Jew likes a nice pork chop, but it was the only book to hand. So next week you will see me gurning in my back garden clutching a book by Terry Deary. Don't hold your breaths if you expect to see it happen again.

Coming up this week - a return visit to Finton House School in Wandsworth and a new visit to Hillmead Primary in Bishops Stortford.

St Bartholomew's First School - Summer Fete

My son James attended St Bartholomew's First School in Crewkerne for a while and enjoyed every moment. It is a charming lovely little school. The headteacher there is a lovely man by the name of Michael Collins and he had asked me sometime ago if I would be available to appear at their summer fete. It was a pleasure to appear.

I arrived at about 5.30pm and got changed into my Henry gear. There was so much to do there. There were several stalls with the usual Treasure Hunt games and hook-a-duck, plus a grand prize draw with over 30 separate prizes to be won. There were burger stalls, a coconut shy, two bouncy castles (one enormous the other more child friendly), ice cream vans and there was also the Town Crier for Crewkerne as well as me there. Seeing us both together a couple of small children pointed and shouted "Ooh! Pirates!"

The place was packed out and everyone seemed to have a really good time. The local Atom Car company were there with one of their super sports cars offering a lucky dip for a free ride in the car. Loads of money seemed to be raised and luckily the weather managed to behave itself until almost the very end when a few spots of rain appeared.

A lovely evening.

St Peters-in-Thanet, Broadstairs

Three years ago I went to St Peters-in-Thanet School in Broadstairs, Kent. It was the beginning of March and it snowed in the sort of way that even Scott of the Antarctic would have gone "Blimey - looks a bit chilly". It took me a grand total of nearly nine hours to get home along ice encrusted roads.

Today was completely different. Warm, sunny but with a stiff breeze. It was lovely to be back again. The school is a really groovy shape - like a large doughnut, completely round and with a large hall to the rear. It was about 90 children today and great fun. I made the fatal mistake of predicting that the ladies would walk off with the jousting tournament. That proved to be about as accurate and on the money as my prediction that Croatia woud waltz off with the Euro 2008 crown. DOH!

We had a really good day today, lots of laughs and some wonderful knowledge from the children, even though they finished their topic of the Tudors some months ago. The jousting was of a particularly high quality, but despite what I said it was a very competent Gents team that triumphed.

My journey home was only four hours this time, far quicker than before and with not a hint of ice on any road. When I got home I decided to do some washing only to find that my washing machine has decided to stop working, bless it's little heart. Just what I didn't need at the moment. Launderette here I come it seems.

I must be desperate for entertainment tonight. I've been watching Big Brother. Someone, stop me!

Kingsclere in Berkshire...or is it Hampshire?

Who's a silly King, then? Me! There I was, all primed for a whole weekend in the south east, from Thundersley on Wednesday, Kingsclere in Berks today and then Broadstairs in Kent on Monday. WRONG! Kingsclere is one of those places to throw a spanner in the works for you! I just assumed, as it had a Reading post code, that it would be near Reading! Nonsense! It's almost in Basingstoke and next to the A303 and virtually halfway home to Somerset from Essex where I have been staying. So instead of being in Essex for another night I have come home to sunny Somerset (it's raining actually, but you can't see that where you're sitting, can you?), will have an early night and then ski-daddle off back to Essex tomorrow morning. What a jet set lifestyle!

The school today at Kingsclere was lovely. Really lovely, easy to find, wonderful kids and fun teachers! I even had a lunch brought in for me it seemed! A ham and cheese roll, some savoury bites and even some strawberries were laid on for me. I really can't complain. The morning was great fun and the afternoon, though a tad warm in the costume was still terrific and we had a really good jousting competition which the gents won for the first time in a while.

When I was driving out of the school some of the boys from the day ran alongside my car for the first few yards waving and shouting "Thank you!" - lovely stuff. The drive home of course brought me to Stonehenge and it's the midsummer solstice! So loads of traffic, loads of Police vehicles and lots of hippies in clapped out buses. My, how we laughed.

But I am home now and will be getting my din-dins soon. See you in Broadstairs on Monday morning - bright and early!

Thundersley Junior

Almost exactly one year ago I made my first appearance at Thundersley Junior in Southend-on-Sea in Essex. I remember us having a really good time, so I was looking forward to my return visit today. I was not to be disappointed. My journey down was incredibly easy and I arrived very early, so I parked up with a newspaper and drink to kill some time before everyone else arrived.

I got my usual warm welcome from the staff and was soon set up in the hall for the days fun and games to begin. They were a really nice bunch of children, about 60+ of them, but very sparky and attentive and brilliantly well behaved. The morning just seemed to fly past.

I had a lovely lunch of roast beef sitting next to one of the male teachers who suddenly turned out to be Andy Whittams, a guy I used to go to school with back in the late 70's and early 80's at the Ingatestone Anglo-European School. What a small world! It was nice to see him. He had just returned from visiting another old friend of mine, Adrian Robinson who now lives in Switzerland. The funny thing is we used to call Adrian "Swiss Family" because of his surname!

The afternoon was a great session, very lively and full of laughs, and wouldn't you just know it? The ladies came through and triumphed in the Jousting final! Don't they nearly always?

I have tomorrow off, before heading off to Berkshire in Friday and a Henry visit to the town of Kingsclere.

Ilminster Festival and Much Much More!

I know I haven't blogged in a while but I have mitigating circumstances which involve idiocy and Tesco's Broadband, but any more than that my lips are sealed just in case they sue me.

Let me take you back to last Thursday and a getting up at the crack of dawn day. I was off down to Truro Prep School in Cornwall again for a second visit in two years. It is a longish drive but very much worth it. A total delight this school. Fabulous teachers and brilliant kids, and would you believe absolutely everyone dressed to the nines in their Tudor costumes! We even had a fine Hog Roast on the cricket pitch, just as we had two years ago. The weather was gorgeous all day as well which made the trip that much more pleasant.

Friday found me back on BBC Somerset with the gorgeous Jo Phillips on the "Morning Jo Show" broadcasting "live" from Ilminster in preparation for the Ilminster Festival. It was a really fun show to do and seemed to go very well. Please listen again at www.bbc.co.uk/somerset and click on "listen again" and choose the "Morning Jo Show" and "Friday" button! In the evening I was leading the parade for the medieval pageant for the Ilminster Festival itself. We had, apart from me, a fabulous jester called "Jester Trick", loads of kids dressed as fabulous Tudors, a group of men at arms and ladies in waiting from a re-enactment group based in Ilminster, some Morris Men (and women!), a mummers play group and even some Medieval Musicians from the "Daughters of Elvin" group. The parade was great fun, running from the end of Silver Street down to the Market Square where a large stage had been set up, pausing only at The Dolphin Pub so I could have a pint and watch the Morris Men dance, and then briefly outside Bilby's where I "Knighted" Tris Pinkney! Great fun. On the stage I was MC and had great fun bantering with the audience before introducing in turn the Jester, the Mummers, the Musicians and the Jester again, before we were finished just about 9pm. After getting changed I headed to Barrington Court for Matthew Applegate's surprise farewell party for his assistant Simon who was finishing his years placement at the court. Good fun.

Saturday and Sunday I was at Barrington Court doing walkabouts. Saturday was relatively quiet, about 500 people in, but Sunday was packed as there was a Jazz Band on for a Father's Day special. I guess we had about 1,500 through the door. Wonderful! Lots of lovely people to meet and good fun had by all. The weekend finished with me and Matthew Applegate sinking a pint or two at the Duke of York pub in my beloved Shepton Beauchamp.

Today I have driven up to Essex and over the next few days I will be appearing at Thundersley in Southend, Kingsclere in Berkshire and Broadstairs in Kent. Should be fun. And you never know, Tesco Broadband might lose some idiocy and get me re-connected! Hoorah!

St John's Junior School, Highbridge

Do you like this picture? It was the flyers they were using to advertise my weekend at Sudeley Castle. And what clever chaps they were, taking a picture of me at Leeds Castle and then removing the said Castle and slapping a pic of Sudeley behind me instead.

Back to business - I was on my way to Highbridge near Burnham-on-Sea this morning. St John's Junior School had got wind of my work after my fairly recent visit to West Huntspill Junior. After such a fine day at West Huntspill, what would St John's offer me? Well, it was quite a similar day - tremendous fun! A really excellent school, a charming group of teachers and some fabulous children. We had such a fun day, lots of laughs, lots of learning and a really thrilling jousting tournament in the afternoon. One of the biggest laughs of the day came via a correct, but shocking answer from one little chap. As I usually do, when talking about Ann Boleyn, I ask what possible evidence could any of her detractors have offered when they said she was a witch. I always tell the children it is something physical, referring usually to her extra polydactyl finger on her left hand, or the supposed birth mark she had on her neck. Today when asked what made people think she was a witch, one of the year 4's stuck his hand up and said "she had three nipples!" which, strictly speaking is true, but was not what I was expecting from a 9 year-old. I choked and spluttered a bit and at least two of the teachers nearly fell off their chairs laughing. Now that's not something I hear everyday!

Later this week I am off to Truro in Cornwall and then on Friday I am on BBC Somerset again with Jo Phillips in Ilminster during the day and then I am appearing at the Ilminster Festival in the evening. On Saturday and Sunday I am at Barrington Court for a couple of days of walkabouts.

I have also had some nibbles from a TV company called "Whizz Kid", another enquiry from Channel 5 for a possible appearance on another show and even some talk about yet another TV company doing a children's history series. How nice!