Oakfield, Dartford & Sweyne, Swanscombe

Another two days in Kent. Just think, if I stay for a few more days I could probably apply for citizenship! Monday and Tuesday this week were third year in a row visits to two of my favourite schools in Kent. On Monday I was due at Oakfield Junior School in Dartford. I had driven to Kent on the Sunday afternoon and stayed at my sister's house again near Sittingbourne. We enjoyed Sunday night with an Indian takeaway and some silly TV.

I got up relatively early on the Monday and made my way to Dartford. Oakfield is lovely and easy to find and as ever, the friendly welcome from all the old familiar faces was very nice. The hall where I perform had been recently decorated and looked particularly spik and span! It was a great group of children as usual, if a little quieter than in recent years. One of the lads was blind and it was fun to hand him the props and let him feel them out for himself rather than have me describe them to him. The jousting was a belter as ever and went to a close finish with the ladies triumphing - as per usual. I packed up my stuff and headed back to my sister's house for a bottle of Valpolicella and a nice pasta bolognese!

Tuesday saw me hurtling back up the M2/A2 and this time to Swanscombe, sometime described as the latin quarter of Gravesend. This was my third year in a row visit to the Sweyne Junior School and yet another encounter with Mr Dan Burghin. He was as welcoming and courteous as ever and it was lovely to be back in a school that I know and enjoy so well. The children were lively and full of laughter. They had only just started studying the Tudors but still seemed to have a good grounding of general Tudor knowledge. One lad during the talk about the stocks suggested that hammers should be thrown at people in them. When I asked the group why throwing hammers at people would be a stupid thing to do, I expected the answer "it would kill you", but instead from another lad I got the suggestion that the Tudor's hadn't discovered hammers! So THAT's why all those old Tudor buildings kept falling down! All the builders were left standing around wondering what the hell they were going to use to hit the nails in with... The finale of the jousting was very very close, but this time, just for a change, the lads won. Congratulations to them.

I packed everything away and was on my weary way back to Somerset at about 3.15pm. After a nice easy journey back I found myself back home with my beloveds by about 6pm. Lovely. And now for a quiet pint with Mr Matthew Applegate at the Dinnington Docks.

The Western Gazette - FAME!

I got a phone call yesterday from a nice young reporter on the Western Gazette, asking me if I would be interested in being interviewed for inclusion in next weeks issue, particularly the Crewkerne and Villages area. Who was I to say no?

Each week they do a feature on someone from the Crewkerne area and interview them and shed a bit more light on what it is they do. So this morning (Friday) I found myself driving up to Yeovil to meet Chris Sweet of the Western Gazette at their office for an interview. Chris' shorthand skills are very good which is lucky because I waffled on so much, but he seemed very pleased with the interview and it will be featured in the next issue - out next Thursday. To finish off I was introduced to Gemma Hampson, a lovely lady who works at the Gazette and who I have dealt with in the past over Henry VIII articles and who has always been a good help. I have only ever spoken to her on the phone before, so it was nice to put a face to the voice.

This weekend will see me driving to Kent on Sunday ready for appearances at Dartford on Monday and Swanscombe on the Tuesday. Such are the demands on a Tudor Monarch...

Thomas Johnson Lower School, Lidlington

And here I was thinking D-Day was the longest day? It all began at about 3.55am when my alarm went off. There is definitely going to be a law about times like that... I got up and got ready for the rigours of the day ahead. It was going to be a long drive, all the way up to Lidlington near Bedford and Milton Keynes, and then just for the fun of it, driving back again.

My early morning driving fun was not helped by the fact that the best DJ on in the wee small hours, namely Alex Lester on Radio 2, was off and there was some bloke on instead, whose name escapes me, but he brought a whole new meaning to the word "dreadful". His phone in quiz was embarrassing, he kept fluffing words, not understanding what some people who were phoning in were saying and just generally being a bit too "Smashy and Nicey" for his own good.

One part of my journey that was nice was to see the full moon, or at least it looked full, bobbing along just above the horizon for most of the way, before broiling down in the clouds as the sun came out. Very nice!

I found the school nice and easily, but was a little bit early (it was still only about 7.45am when I got there). So I nipped off for a sandwich and a newspaper, sat and read for a bit and then made my way back to the school. I was very warmly welcomed and offered a smashing cup of tea as I set everything up. It was a small group today, about 23 children and a mixture of years 3 and 4. But we had a wonderful day. Their knowledge of the Tudors was impeccable, up until the end of Jane Seymour - but apparently that is as far as they have got in classes, so that was understandable! After a lovely lunch of Shepherds Pie it was back in the hall with all the usual afternoon shenanigans. The jousting was a blast, with the ladies quietly strolling to a comfortable triumph.

After lots of lovely help stowing stuff in the car, I was on my way and managed to get home by about 6pm, which was pretty good going, considering the weather was closing in and a large part of my journey was during rush hour. I was greeted at home by a lovely hug from James and my wife, plus she had made me for dinner... you guessed it, Shepherds Pie!

Barrington Court Re-visited

Saturday morning I paid a visit to Barrington Court near Ilminster to see Matthew Applegate, sometime visitor's services manager for the Court and occasional "God" of the acting profession. We were to discuss possible future Henry appearances at this lovely National Trust property. (For a good look at this wonderful old building and all it's opening times and info please click on this: http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-vh/w-visits/w-findaplace/w-barringtoncourt/ .

We decided that Henry should be making appearances over the Easter weekend of the 7th, 8th and 9th April, afternoon strolls around the gardens. Then again Henry will return over the weekend of the 18th and 19th August for slightly longer Tudor musings and wanders. I love Barrington Court, it is a real gem of a place to visit and well worth making the effort.

St Michael's Junior, Colehill, Wimborne

It was another return visit for me today, for a third year running, down to Wimborne and the village of Colehill. I was back at one of my all time favourite schools – St Michael’s. This school is just so good! I always get a big group of children (usually about 130), nearly every single one of them dresses up in wonderful Tudor costumes, they always behave impeccably, they are very articulate, have good knowledge and enjoy a good laugh at most of my nonsense! The food at lunchtime is always absolutely spot on and delicious. Added to which the teachers and class room assistants are all wonderful and friendly, and the icing on the cake is that one of them is the dead ringer for Sophie Raworth! All good news from my point of view!
We had another excellent day, only broken up slightly by an enforced break as they held a morning assembly, but this just meant I got to have a much longer morning break time than usual and a couple of cups of tea! The coat of arms task instead of the Breughel painting is proving to be very popular with the children and some of their designs again today were marvellous. The afternoon session got off to a bad start as one poor little soul got upset during the crime and punishment section and was reduced to tears. I have been advised to tone it down for my return visit next year. The jousting though was of a very high standard and an incredibly noisy and tumultuous final saw the ladies just snatch victory away from the gents. Wonderful stuff.
My drive home was nice and uneventful and my lovely wife then bought home a take away curry. Now that is what I call a good Friday.
Next week I am off to Thomas Johnson School in Lidlington in Bedfordshire.

Coalway Junior, Coleford

Today was my third visit in three years to one of the loveliest schools you could ever wish to find! I was back up at Coalway Junior in Coleford in Gloucestershire. It is a pleasant, if somewhat long drive up to the place, being only just short of 100 miles and taking in crossing the Severn Bridge and going up through Chepstow, but some of the views when driving up into rural Gloucestershire are just delightful - or I should say they usually are, this morning was somewhat fog enshrouded. It was nice to get to the school again. Yet again I had the two classes of year fives who were really sparky and great fun. They really got into the making of their own coats of arms and also showed a fine and deep knowledge of the whole Tudor family.

After lunch the gruesome Tudor punishments were greeted with the usual mixtures of "Ewwwwwww!" and laughter! The jousting was just magnificent with the grand final between the ladies and the gents going right down to the wire, with the ladies coming from behind to pip the lads as they struggled with their last quoit. Marvellous stuff.

The drive home was relatively easy and I have this evening been sifting through loads of great photos sent to me of the party last weekend. These are great mementoes of a wonderful night. Everyone who came seemed to enjoy themselves and I have been requested to organise another party next year! I shall see...

Next Henry... St Michael's Junior, Wimborne on Friday.

A Grand Tudor 40th Birthday Bash

The Date? Saturday 24th February 2007. The place? Clapton Village Hall, near Crewkerne, Somerset. The event? My 40th birthday party! I have to just quickly say I had a wonderful evening, and I like to think that my friends did as well. We had about 70+ people turn up for the event, many of them dear old friends who I hadn't seen in years and who had travelled many miles to be there. I was very moved.

We had fine Tudor food (as you can see in the picture) supplied by my friends Tris and Jane Pinkney from the very wonderful Bilby's Cafe which you can find in Ilminster, and also in Chard and Crewkerne. The music was superb coming from the lively folk duo of Morgan Rattler, again highly recommended and really got the evening going beautfiully. And finally there was the World premiere of a new radio play entitled "Henry VIII - A Life" written by yours truly and acted out by a superb cast, some of whom had only known they were going to be in it by a matter of hours. Top honours must go to Matthew Applegate of Barrington Court who ended up copping the part of Sir Thomas Cranmer after my old friend Simon Whittaker from Alsager was unable to attend at the last minute. The rest of the cast were: Me as Henry, Ted Heath as Will Somers, Simon Runagall as Sir Thomas Cromwell, Cathy Martin as Lady Cilla of Ye Black, Ann Turner-Maynard as both Lady Legovia-Crumpet and Princess Voluptua, Alison Barling as Catherine Howard and my lovely wife Amanda as Catherine Parr. Viv Rich jumped in at the last minute as our narrator. Viv's husband John videoed the entire play and has threatened me with a DVD of it.

It was nice to see some representatives of some of the local schools, including Tracy and Sally from Arbishop Cranmer School in Taunton and Alexine and friends from Brookside School in Street.

All in all a very memorable weekend (which had kicked off with a splendid evening meal and drinks over at the Dinnington Docks) which I am still trying to recover from!

Today is my actual birthday, so I am taking it easy with James at home and will be taking him out for a little trip shortly. Tomorrow it is back to being Henry again with a visit to Coalway Junior School in Coleford, Gloucestershire.

North Somerset Museum, Weston-super-Mare

As it is half term, Henry's like me get the chance to do visits that aren't the usual school days. Today was one of those days and also included me going to Weston-super-Mare for the first time in my life. All I really knew of Weston was that (a) it was by the sea, and (b) it is the birthplace of John Cleese.

Luckily the museum was very easy to find (if you have a sat nav) and I could unload parked just outside it. I was welcomed by all the staff, who were without fail, warm, cheerful and very friendly. After dumping all the stuff from the "Henry-mobile" (for this, read "Elderly Green Honda Accord"), I had to then go and park it in a nearby car park.. Obviously the word "nearby" has a completely different meaning in Weston-super-Mare. This place was about a mile away, three times the size of a football pitch and with only one working ticket machine for the pay and display, which just happened to be about 500 yards from where I parked. My, how we laughed.

I trekked back to the Museum and got changed into my glad rags. It was a lovely day! Lots of people coming and going, lots of lovely friendly children, some really cute little ones and some happy jolly parents and grandparents. I wandered about a little, tootled on my instruments and chatted to anyone who came within earshot of me. The "So Solid Crew" from Bristol were a bit much to take, but I had a good laugh with and at them from time to time.

Had some lovely photos taken by lots of different people, and posed right at the end with an almost too cute little lady called Isis and her stunning Mother! All that was needed then was to put everything away, have a quick "Great March" over to get the car back from the back of beyond, drive back to the Museum, throw everything in the car and then head for home. And here I am! It was a lovely day today, thoroughly enjoyable at a wonderful Museum. Go and visit it if you are in Weston - you won't be disappointed!

Westonzoyland Junior

What a lovely day! No, not the weather, which is unlike the rest of Britain at the moment. The rest of Britain is currently doing a very passable impression of Antarctica, here in deepest rural Somerset it is wet with a capital splosh. It has poured down all day from a leaden sky that seemed to get lower by the minute.

I drove out to the school at Westonzoyland through enormous puddles and with the cricket on the radio. We skittled the Aussies for 252, but as I tuned in we were reduced to 14-3. I gave up at this point as I had arrived at the school. I received a lovely warm welcome from all the teachers and my fears were calmed somewhat as I was under the impression I was with just years 2 and 3 for the day, who might be a little young to get all the jokes and references. I had no such worries. I was in with everyone from year 2 to year 6, and the little ones got it just as much as the older ones! We had a wonderful day. So many laughs from such a wonderful group of children. They really knew their Tudor stuff as well. We over ran slightly on each session, just purely as the children were enjoying themselves so much and laughing.

At lunch time I was presented with some fan mail from some of the children, which was very sweet, and I was inundated with more later! I shall see if I can put some of them on the wesbite in the next few days.

The afternoon was quite riotous with so much fun and laughter that I had to quieten it down a bit at times! The jousting was of a prodigiously high standard, with the boys winning AGAIN! I left with the endorsement of some of the children still ringing in my ears - they said: "you are the best visitor we have ever had at this school!" I was deeply touched. It is nice to know that your work is appreciated.

When I left this morning, I left a note on the front door in case someone might actually come and deliver my piano at last. When I got back the note had been updated to say that a delivery had been made and was with my next door neighbour, Geoff. I went over to Geoff and he proudly told me he had a parcel for me. I was very excited. Until he produced a big box of Lush bath products for my wife which had been sent to her as a birthday present from my sister. DOH! So, still no piano.

Finally, England have thrashed the Aussies with Paul Collingwood playing a heroes innings. I should have listened longer, shouldn't I?

St Margaret's Junior School, Tintinhull

I am still getting over a very traumatic day yesterday. First of all I was to sit at home and wait for the delivery of my 40th birthday present from everyone, namely a brand new digital piano! So, I began waiting at about 8.30am. And I carried on waiting. I waited sitting down, and I waited standing up, which is pretty much the same only taller. I carried on waiting. I was soon up to Olympic Standard waiting and still I waited some more. After numerous more waits, it became apparent that the piano wasn't turning up. I had wasted a complete day when I had so much I needed to do. I had to get to the bank, post office and over to Ilminster to see Tris, and I got to do none of it. Nothing. In the evening I sat and watched England against Spain from Old Trafford. We were pants. And we lost. Then just when I thought a Wednesday evening could get no worse, my wife came downstairs to let me know she had broken this computer when she plugged her I-Pod into it. Great. After several muttered oaths and use of colourful language, I went to bed.

Today I was over at St Margaret's Junior School at Tintinhull near Yeovil, the very village that Paddy Ashdown lives in. Or did, anyway. I had to give these poor people a hand written invoice for the day, which was mightily embarrassing. However, the day (only a half day I hasten to add) was a stonker. Great kids, very lively, only about 20 of them and some really enthusiastic and friendly teachers. We had a great morning. The boys again won the jousting so this is turning into something of a habit for them. After stopping off at Crewkerne on the way home, my wife informed me that the PC was being repaired at a cost of about £90 which wasn't too bad, my piano STILL hadn't turned up, my wife's Tudor costume for my 40th HAD turned up and everything seemed to be returning to normal. As you can see, the PC is fine and dandy (I am typing this blog on the very machine I believed to be dead) and fingers crossed, it has many years of appalling blogs to be typed on it from now on!

Tomorrow, I am up bright and early and off to Westonzoyland near Bridgwater for more Tudor frolics!

Riverview Junior School, Gravesend

This was the day that might have been! I was due to appear at Riverview Junior School in Gravesend, Kent alongside a BBC film crew for an upcoming BBC3 documentary about people with red hair and how it has affected their working lives. I, of course, could not be the Henry VIII I am without having my red hair (unlike some Henry's I have seen around the country!), and the Beeb were very keen to get me on board and have me filmed "in action" at a school. I had mentioned that I was appearing at Riverview School, which being in Kent was a lot closer than Somerset and some of my other haunts. Obviously the BBC are a little like Giles Coren and are not that keen to venture too far away from their west London stamping grounds. Anyway, it was arranged with the BBC and the school for the filming to go ahead. However, on Sunday I got a call from the producer saying that Riverview School had pulled out of the day. When I asked why she said it was because they had discovered the title of the programme - and when I found out I could hardly blame them! The BBC, in their infinite wisdom, had decided to call this programme: "F-Off, I'm Ginger". Now you can see why the school said no!

Anyway, I drove up to Kent on Monday to stay at my sister's house. We had a nice evening as her husband and I both fell asleep in front of the TV after dinner and snored all through "Trial and Retribution", much to my sister's annoyance. Up early this morning and off to Gravesend. Even if the BBC weren't going to be there, I was determined to make it a good day. The teachers were lovely and friendly as ever, the children were great for such a big group (120+) and the school dinner quite spectacularly good! What more could a King ask for? The gentlemen won the jousting session at the end of the day and all the children posed for some great photos in their fabulous Tudor costumes. A visit to Riverview Junior is always a pleasure and I was not disappointed this time. Here's to next year.

I am next on parade on Thursday when I am on a half day at St Margaret's School in Tintinhull, near Yeovil.

Shepton Beauchamp School

I was a very lucky King today as I was to visit one of my favourite villages and schools in the whole UK. Admittedly, I am a little biased as I used to live there, but I am always afforded such a warm friendly welcome that I will continue to sing their praises for evermore! I am talking about Shepton Beauchamp of course, a charming little village sort of midway between South Petherton and Ilminster. My wife and I lived in Shepton between 1998 and 2004 and only the desire for a bigger house for our new enlarged family forced us to look elsewhere. I had first appeared at the school as Henry back in 2005 and had also popped back when I was asked to appear at a school for an ITV News item for the local network and Shepton kindly offered to be the school for that item.

I arrived today quite late, about 9.15am which is normally the time I begin with a group, but I knew the chidlren wouldn't be there as they were over at the village church first thing. I set up my stuff in the front class room and got changed. The children were waiting when I came out. None of them knew I was going to be there! Wonderful. We had a great morning with the opening talk going very well and a lot of the children displaying wonderful knowledge of the Tudor era. We then went straight into the coat of arms design bit which again showed some real talent from some of the children. After lunch we moved to a larger classroom where the stocks proved as popular as ever and the rip roaring jousting tournament was won by the gentlemen - by a whisker! Normally if we have some spare time I'll let the teachers have a race, but there was only Mrs Fraser in with me today, so for the teachers race and for the first time ever, I took part with a team I selected. Not wishing to show off, but I won! I suppose they felt they had to let me win as I was the King. It would have been rude not to.

I now have a nice weekend at ease followed by a trip to Kent on Monday for my appearance at Riverview School in Gravesend. The BBC will be there to film this for a BBC3 documentary about red-headed people. I wonder who they mean?

White Woman Lane and Caister School

This was another week away for me with a visit up to Norfolk and two days, one at White Woman Lane School near Norwich and another which was a return visit to Caister Middle School. However, our story begins in dark Somerset...

My car had gone in for it's MOT on Friday 26th January at Popular Motors in Merriott. I seem to spend a lot of time there, and I told Ian Summers who works there that there should be a blue plaque on the wall announcing that it was in this very car repair shop that Mike Farley's bank account died. Anyway, they got my Honda on the Friday but they needed a few spare parts which would not be available until the Monday, which was the day I was hoping to drive to Essex to see my folks before striking out for Norfolk. Sadly the delivery time of the parts was not to be until 2pm on the Monday, so that was lunch in Essex out the window! When the parts were delivered, they were the wrong parts. The proper ones didn't turn up until nearer 5pm and my car wasn't ready until just after 7pm! And then I had to drive to Essex. So though I was due to have lunch with my parents I even managed to miss dinner! Thankfully Amanda and James were there as well, so it was nice to meet and have some cuddles.

I was up at the crack of dawn to head up to Norfolk and my appointment at White Woman Lane school. This was a lovely school. White Woman Lane apparently is so named because of a ghost frequently seen in the area. Get "Most Haunted" up there, that's what I say! The children and teachers at the school were wonderful and we had a really nice day. Lots of laughs and the children had a great time doing the quiz and the design your own coat of arms. The afternoon session was super fun and the jousting a real rip snorter with the ladies triumphing as well. I then had to make a presentation to one of the little girls who was leaving the school on Friday as her family were moving out of the area.

The next day, I found myself back on the road up to Norfolk to visit Caister on Sea Middle School. This was a return visit and I picked the perfect day for it as it was the Head Teacher's 60th birthday and they had laid on drinks and a nice buffet lunch for us all. It was a big group, about 120 children, but it all seemed to go really well. They did a fine example of some Tudor dancing for me, which was much appreciated. During one of my talks in the morning I managed to get a tickle in my throat which I could not get rid of, and spent some time just coughing pathetically in front of the children, which was a bit embarrassing. Also during this point I was giving the children a little talk about writing implements used and I showed them my feather pen and asked them what it was called - the answer I got? A quiff! Perfect... The final jousting session was longer than normal because of the large number of children, but we managed to whittle all the teams down to a ladies champions and a gents, and in the final the men triumphed for once. With some help from some little roadies I was soon on my way.

I had a lovely evening with my parents and my wife, and today I have driven back to Somerset. My mother and father, gawd bless 'em, have bought me the piano I want for my 40th! It should be arriving on Wednesday next week. I can't wait!

Before then, my next Henry jobs are tomorrow at Shepton Beauchamp school and then next Tuesday with the BBC film crew at Riverview School in Gravesend.

Trull-y, madly, deeply...

It was another return visit today, almost a year on from the day I last visited Trull Primary School. From reading my old blog entry from a year ago, it seems we had the same weather today as we did then - bright and sunny, but piercingly cold.

I was warmly greeted as ever and the morning cup of tea was extremely welcome on this cold start. I was back in the main hall at Trull, which is a little like North Petherton in that it retains some elements of it's Victorian original school, but all is gleaming, brand new and bang up to date inside. I set up my stuff in the main hall and then was shown to my luxury dressing room - namely the school library. I don't think I have ever had such a large room all to myself for getting changed in. A complete opposite to the tiny toilet cubicle I had to try and use when I did the Education Exhibition up at the NEC. Also in the library was a Yamaha Clavinova electric piano and something I would very much like someone to buy for me for my birthday! Added to which it was switched on! I had a little tinkle on the ivories and it was lovely... As my son James would say, "I NEEED IT!"

The day itself was a belter, probably the best I have done this January so far. Lots of laughs and some good questions from the children. All of the costumes were fabulous, with even the teachers and TA's looking most impressive. The jousting was a really good session and the young ladies once more triumphed over their male counterparts. Normality, it seems, has been achieved.

I have had a letter from Leeds Castle today asking me back in October for a series of new Henry talks, and I am hopefully being filmed by the BBC in the beginning of February for a BBC3 documentary in the Spring. Watch this space for more...

Brookside School, Street

Here we have a lovely picture of "Mini Henry" who was bought for me at Christmas by my sister-in-law Maria. I think you will find that the resemblance is quite uncanny. Who of though, I am not quite sure...

This bright crisp morning found me heading back to Street, near Glastonbury for a return visit, for a third year running, to Brookside School. The major change from my previous visits was that they had booked me for a full day instead of my usual half day there.

I arrived smack on time and was shown through to the hall again. As usual at this lovely school, my welcome from the staff and teachers was warm and genuine. We had a great group today, about 60 in total. I have to admit that Iwas using this school as something of a guinea pig test. For a while I have been considering dropping the Breughal painting study from my Henry days, and today seemed like an opportune time to try something different. So today, during the carousel of activities at the end of the morning, instead of having one group studying a big print of the Breughal painting, we had one group designing their own coat of arms. And it went down a storm! The children loved it! So that will go in again tomorrow for my next visit.

I had to chop and change a few other aspects of the day today. We only had the main hall for the afternoon until 2.20pm, so the afternoon session for the kids consisted of the opening talk about people being hung, drawn and quartered, and then it was straight into the Jousting tournament. It was a good tourney, with the gentlemen storming to a famous victory. However, after that it was off to another classroom for the stocks session. This still went down a storm as usual, but it meant for a slightly fragmented afternoon.

I stopped in briefly at Somerton on the way home to use the bank and then this evening my lovely wife cooked a beautiful casserole and we sat and let our brains vegetate watching Celebrity Big Brother. I think I only watched it because Cleo Rocos was on it. And in the words of Barry Norman, 'and why not?'. Tomorrow, back to Trull.

A Wassail Evening at Barrington Court

Last night (Wednesday 17th), Amanda and I were invited over to Barrington Court by Matthew Applegate, to take part in a wassail evening. This is a very old ceremony that involves blessing the apple trees and imploring them to produce another good harvest of cider apples this year. It seems steeped in Pagan traditions and is a wonderful sight to behold. Matthew wanted me to read a poem at this event, and not quite sure what to choose, I spoke to my sister Susan in Wales who is something of a clever clogs when it comes to tradition, folklore and all things vaguely Pagan related. She came up trumps and emailed me the words to a lovely old carol entitled "The Gloucestershire Wassail Carol". The words are:

Wassail! Wassail! All over the town,
Our bread it is white, our ale it is brown:
Our bowl it is made of the Maplin tree,
We all be good fellows who drink to thee.

Here’s to our horse and to his right ear,
God send our master a happy New Year.
A happy New Year as e’er he did see –
With my wassailing bowl I drink to thee.

Here’s to our mare, and to her right eye,
God send our mistress a good Christmas pie;
A good Christmas pie as e’er I did see –
With my wassailing bowl I drink to thee.

Here’s to Fillpail* and to her long tail,
God send our master us never may fail
Of a cup of good beer; I pray you draw near,
And our jolly wassail it’s then you shall hear.

Be there any maids? I suppose there be some;
Sure they will not let young men stand on the cold stone;
Sing hey O maids, come trole back the pin,
And the fairest in the house let us all in.

* Quaint name for a cow!

I "performed" this poem just after an all ladies morris dancing team from Devon had been through their paces, and I am pleased to say I got a great reception from the audience and a warm round of applause. After this we had a sing song from some chap who reckoned himself a font of all knowledge when it came to wassail traditions. I hope never to be stuck in a lift with him. This was followed by another dance from the Morris troupe and then we processed through the grounds to the oldest apple tree in the orchards. This is the first time in something like 130 years that they have produced their own cider at Barrington Court, so it was quite an auspicious occasion. They have been very lucky with help from some local farmers at Barrington, one of whom has loaned them a cider press for the next five years, his repayment simply being a gallon of cider per year and, as it was the first year, a commemorative flagon produced by the Eeles Pottery. Lovely! Sadly, Amanda and I had to slip away a little early as we had left my parents looking after our little one and he was busy screaming the house down when we left. When we got home he was still up and my parents were almost word perfect on the script of "Monsters Inc." having watched it several times over!

North Petherton Junior

It was a nice relatively local jaunt for me today, up the old M5 towards Bridgwater and then scooting off to North Petherton instead. I was due at this school about a year or so ago, but at the last minute they had to cancel me and it has taken this long for the right date to come round again. My first impressions were very good. The school has a Victorian front to it, but this is merely a facade. Almost immediately behind this all is modern and brand spanking new, and very impressive it is too! The teachers are similarly welcoming and friendly, I couldn't have asked for more hospitality.

I was introduced to Jo whose class of year 3/4's I was to be dealing with today. It was only a group of about 25 children, but they were really wonderful, even the little year 3's who had at first seemed a little overawed by Henry's presence, but soon came into their own. We had a really good morning and plenty of laughs. At lunch time I had a walk into North Petherton itself to get some lunch and was delighted to find that my old friend Belinda Stephens from Charlton Hawthorne school was working as a supply teacher at North Petherton today. Added to which another old friend from Hugh Sexey School in Wedmore has moved jobs in the summer and he was now working here as well! This was a reunion almost getting onto "This is Your Life" proportions...

The afternoon was terrific fun. The gentlemen just managed to pip the ladies to the championship on the jousting. After this, when I would normally be contemplating going home, I was asked to take the afternoon assembly for the whole school. I did this as a question and answer session and plenty of laughs were had by all. After leaving I stopped off at Ilminster to get some money and I am now looking forward to a day off tomorrow and my parents visiting on Wednesday for a few days!

Friends School, Saffron Walden

I like this picture on the left! Admittedly, it has nothing whatsoever to do with todays blog entry, but there you go. It is me, my lovely wife Amanda and young James during one of my days over at Barrington Court last summer! Thought you might enjoy it!

Anyway, on to today. I am in Essex again for my first day back as Henry after the Santa Claus escapades at Leeds Castle over the festive season. I was to drive up to Friends Junior School in Saffron Walden for a return visit, my previous appearance there being back in September 2005. I woke up early and struck out into the blowy, wet miserable morning. My sat nav took me a most amusing route via Widford, Writtle, the Easters and Great Dunmow. I only wanted a quick stop at Inverness and Cardiff and I would have had the full set. As it was, I arrived at the school promptly. Once again we were back in the Scouts Hut, which is perfectly adequate if a little creaky and old. However, with the wind howling and the trees outside shaking around I kept waiting for the whole building to take off. It was a small group today, only about 23 children, but they were very sparky. As we only had the one room to play with, the morning activities we all did together for a change, rather than with the group split up into smaller divisions. I struggled a bit today, feeling very sluggish and tired after the Christmas lay off, but the children and teachers seemed to enjoy it. The afternoon was a real struggle. However, the jousting was a success and yet again the ladies were there to triumph when it mattered. I drove back to my parents the far more sensible M11 route, but the wind is still howling like a banshee, so instead of ploughing back to Somerset tonight, I am going to lay low in Essex and hopefully scoot back tomorrow morning.

Happy New Year

Hello folks! This is a belated, but heartfelt wish of a Happy New Year to you all. I am enjoying my last few days of freedom before I have to don the tights and become Henry again.

I was on Radio 5 Live today. They were having a discussion tied in with the broadcast tonight of "This Life - 10 Years On". The question was, what were you doing 10 years ago and has your life changed much. I couldn't resist it! I phoned in and was on air before you could say "off with their heads!" I had a nice chat with Phil Williams the presenter about how I came to be Henry VIII and after about three minutes I was done. But I did give the website a plug and we have been inundated with hits on the site ever since.

I have been for a little pub visit with Matthew Applegate of Barrington Court this evening. I am appearing at his Wassail Evening on the 17th January. I ought to put it in the diary before I forget. Night night!

And now for something slightly the same.

In my previous blogs I had forgotten to thank a very special person in particular, that person was Amy who was one of three different Tinkerbells during my various days as Father Christmas at Leeds Castle.

On one of my final days I was taking photos of a lot of the different people who had helped during our time there. I took this one of Amy and she urged me never to show this picture to anyone. When I mentioned I had a website (www.goodkinghal.co.uk) she was terrified that I might publish it on there. I assured her I would never do such a thing. But I never mentioned anything about my Blog site! So here is young Amy Creasey, as I believe her full name was, in her full Fairy Glory! Thank you, Amy!

A Belated Merry Christmas from Henry the Santa...

As you can see, from this horrific image, I have been terrorising the good families of Kent in my guise as Father Christmas at Leeds Castle. It has been quite a couple of weeks...

It began with me driving down to Southampton on the 15th December to meet up with old friends from my days working at that most wonderful and cuddly of employers, Skandia Life. I had lunch with the lovely Sue Marsh at Piccolo Mondo, a wonderful little restaurant near Skandia House, and then it was a short walk to the Old Fat Cat Pub to meet up with Julie Beard and Matt Keane. After leaving Southampton I drove up the M3 to the M25 and shot over to Kent to head back to my sisters for another week and a bit being Santa at Leeds. It was a great week, but hard work. Now you wouldn't believe that sitting on your bottom and asking children if they have been good was hard work, but by God it is. After the first couple of hours your mind starts to wander and your bottom starts to feel like barnacles have been welded on to it. The rest of the people, as with everything I have done at Leeds Castle, were wonderful and it was so nice to be back amongst this group, who are now like a new family for me!

During the week I finally got to see the film "Borat". It was wonderful. I haven't laughed so much at a film for a long long time. Highly recommended. The rest of the week continued apace with some incredibly cute children coming to visit Santa. One little lad was sitting happily picking his nose while telling me what he wanted. His father said "Stop that, Jack!" Young Jack promptly removed his finger from his nose, with a nice big juicy bogey on the tip. "Oh, Jack!" admonished his father, "get rid of it!" Jack duly did, by smearing it down the arm of his father's jacket. In the words of Mastercard - priceless.

My sister Cathy and Julian had a burglary at their house in the early part of the week with Julian losing a motorbike from their front yard. He increased their security at their home with a new massive set of steel gates at the top of their drive.

I continued at Leeds Castle until Christmas Eve and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I would like to say a big thank you again to the lovely Darlene Cavill for organising the whole thing, and to her assistant Helen for frequent lifts from the Maiden's Tower back to the Estate Office. And for her wearing a silly hat. And giving my wife and I a nice box of posh biscuits for Christmas. And to Jeanne and to Barry and Carole and Ann and Ann and everyone who helped make it such a memorable experience.

Christmas Day was at my parents in Essex with my wife and son, and my sister Cathy and husband Julian. Amanda and I had a bit of a fright on Boxing Day when my left leg came up with a very sore area at the bottom of my calf. We were frightened that it might be a deep vein thrombosis brought on by too much sitting around as Father Christmas, so it was off to accident and emergency at Basildon Hospital for me. It turned out to be just a skin infection and I am now taking ibuprofen to help sort it out.

We drove back to Somerset on the afternoon of the 26th and are now safely ensconced here. Next Henry is on the 11th January at Friends School in Saffron Walden. Happy New Year!

Kingston St Mary

After a couple of days of either (a) looking after James, and/or (b) Christmas shopping, it was quite a relief to get back to being Henry again, even if it was for only half a day. But what a half day!

I had been booked to appear at Kingston St Mary school in the village of the same name that lies just to the North West of Taunton. I had been recommended to the school by one of their teaching assistants who had seen me at Taunton Castle Museum's Christmas Fayre back in November (hence my use of this picture at the top of this blog - from left to right: Superannuated Wench #1, Me, Superannuated Wench #2, Sparky the Dragon [don't ask] and a lute player. So now you know). A recommendation like this is a real God send as mostly the school knows what to expect. Anyway, after the usual awful drive through a Taunton rush hour I arrived via some back roads in the village of Kingston St Mary - and it is delightful! A little hidden gem of a village. The school itself was very easy to find and the teachers were overwhelmingly friendly and attentive. I set up and the combined years 3/4/5/6 came in for the opening talk. If I say so myself, they loved it. Plenty of laughs and some good answers from the children, particularly from one young lady called Ellie. After a quick break it was back with just years 3/4 for some Tudor crime and punishment, then we had some fun with the stocks and finished just before lunch with an excellent jousting session, which the ladies won to keep things back to how they should be!

After driving home and having lunch, Amanda, James and I headed off to Yeovil for some more Christmas shopping (will it EVER end?) and then tonight my wife and I are going to spend a passionate evening - wrapping up presents. We know how to enjoy ourselves!

Tomorrow I am driving to Southampton to meet the Skandia bunch for some lunch and drinkies, then it is on back down to Kent to Cathy and Julian's place again for another nine days at Leeds Castle as Father Christmas. I shall try and have a quick blog from time to time as my spare times allows me.

Santa Claus is coming to Leeds...

Variety is the spice of life, so they say. So this weekend I have been trying something a little bit different. Yes, I have been back at Leeds Castle again, and yes I am working for the lovely Darlene Cavill and Helen Budd again, but no, there is not a pair of tights or a cod-piece in sight! I am, Father Christmas! Darlene and her bods have put together a Santa's Grotto in the Maiden's Keep just inside the gatehouse and I hold court there all day as the children come and visit me! Superb fun!

I drove to Kent on Friday morning to go to my sister's as usual for when I am at Leeds. We settled in for the weekend with a couple of bottles of wine and a Chinese Takeaway. Saturday morning I was straight down to Leeds Castle via the Broomfield entrance as usual and then it was off to Helen's office to get changed into my Santa gear! The costume looks great. After a little bit of a hold up I was off via "Santa's Lapland Express" (one of the Land Trains from the summer months!) and up to the Castle and a short walk to the Maiden's Keep. Inside, Darlene and co had produced a minor miracle. A wonderful winter wonderland, complete with twinkling lights, fir trees, ice skating mannequins and even the odd Penguin or two! In the middle of this magical labyrinth was my "Santa's Study" complete with sparkling fire place and my own Christmas Tree! With the beard and wig, some red rouge for my nose and cheeks, I was away. The children were wonderful and come in some distinct groups. You get the just plain stunned ones, who spend most of the time staring at you in utter bewhilderment, or hiding behind their parents. You get the criers, who on the very first sight of me in my finery burst into tears and are beyond consolation, even if I do give them a present! You get the chatty ones who sit down next to me as though we are old friends and reels off their complete Christmas present wish list without pausing for breath once. And finally, you get the cocky little so-and-so's who probably would like 20 Marlboro's for Christmas and know full well you aren't Santa and are going to make damn sure the poor parent who brought them in knows this. But they, thankfully, are few and far between! The first day I probably had about 150 children in and I would imagine on Sunday we might even have surpassed that figure. I have been inundated with wonderful letters with requests for presents from Santa, each lovingly written out by the child. It is lovely! One letter on the Saturday was from a little girl called Tegan, whose Christmas list ran to three pages of quite small writing and who finished her entry off with the classic line of: "and that's it!" Brilliant!

Saturday night my sister Cath, her husband Julian and myself went to the cinema where we met their friends Darren and Karen. We went to see "The Covenant". I strongly urge you, with all of my heart to avoid this film like the plague. Thankfully my slumber was left mercifully undisturbed as everyone in the film hits everyone else a lot and the whole production resembles the final super-8mm film my grandfather shot of a Margaretting Rovers first XI home fixture. After this cinematic travesty we went to a Frankie and Bennie's restaurant for a largely disappointing meal in deafening surroundings, with a mixture of over loud music and strident cackling hen parties vying for the most annoying noise of the evening. I was recognised by a very sweet young waitress...as Terry Wogan. So that's her off my Christmas list.

Sunday was another Father Christmas day at the Castle and I drove home this evening through horrendous rain and wind, but home for a kiss and cuddle from my wife and son, and a frankly unwatchable episode of Torchwood. And so to bed.

HO HO HO!

St Cecillia's in Sutton in Surrey

As you can see from the title of this piece, St Cecillia's in Sutton in Surrey is not the sort of place someone like Chris Eubank would want to visit. He could quite possibly lisp himself to death.

It was a very early start for me this morning. Up at just before 5am and out of the door before 5.30am. The A303 wasn't too bad, but as I got on to the M3, the heavens really opened and for a short period you could barely see where you were going at all. Driving slowed to almost walking pace and even with wipers on at full speed, visibility was still virtually impossible. Thankfully this passed. Next step was the M25. Thankfully I was only on for two junctions, but even then I managed to get caught in a traffic jam. I was soon at the school having paused to get a sandwich for breakfast and another for lunch from a small local Tesco Store. As usual, I was warmly welcomed by all the teachers at this lovely little Catholic School. Who would have thought that Henry would get such a warm welcome at somewhere like that? The kids were a really great group as well, in some more fabulous costumes. All the schools I visit, it just amazes me the amount of time and effort put in by parents and relatives to get these children such authentic and good looking Tudor costumes. But then the teachers had excelled themselves as well! We had a great comment this morning from one little girl. She solemnly informed me that Henry VIII's favourite sport was "jostling". Or maybe it was Jocelyn? Now there WAS a sport Henry could enjoy! Priceless.

The afternoon was a good one and culminated in the ladies finally getting back to winning ways by trouncing a rather over confident gents team comprising of all those dressed as exectutioners in the "jostling". My journey home wasn't too bad being only mildly sanity attacking at points on the A303 near Stonehenge and again in Crewkerne High Street, which currently resembles a battle zone on the West Bank.

The new picture above was taken at Taunton Castle's Christmas Fayre and shows me doing a passable imitation of a startled Tudor rabbit caught in headlights during one of my talks to the assembled throng.

Tomorrow I am off to Kent for a couple of days to appear in my alternative guise as Father Christmas at Leeds Castle. Should be fun.

New Improved Website!

As you can probably see, particularly if you navigated in by it, the Good King Hal website has been drastically altered. New graphics, new look, same old rubbish! This is all down to the brilliant technical skills of Mr Steve French, a man who makes Professor Stephen Hawking look like a pullover. Sorry, that should be a push-over. He has worked long and hard hours on this website to make it the technological marvel that you see now. It is amazing what you can achieve just using an Etcha-Sketch and a Sinclair ZX81. Ladies and gentlemen, the toast is: Mr Steve French! (the cheque is in the post...)

Parkfield Primary - one of the best!

This week is quite clearly my Christmas treat to myself as I seem to be spending most of my time at my favourite schools! After Monday at the lovely Dunster, Tuesday found me back at Parkfield School in Taunton. I was warmly welcomed back by Mr Sides again, who was his usual charming pleasant self. This school really is somewhere special. The staff are all lovely, generous to the extreme and really switched on to their pupils. The two main class teachers had dressed up in full Tudor togs and looked beautiful indeed! The group, which was about 65 children, gathered in the main hall for my opening talk. As ever, this little school produces some of the brightest sparkiest children you could ever want to meet. They ALL got the jokes. They ALL had great Tudor knowledge, and they all just wanted more, more, more! We had a truly special day. It is even the little things at Parkfield that make the place special. When I was first unloading in the morning I discovered one of my jousting targets had a slightly lose top. This is immediately whisked away from me by the caretaker who fixes it in no time at all. I have cups of tea lavished on me all day, and not just during breaks! My lunch is not only bought for me, but it is also collected for me from Tesco's during a Monsoon! And at the end of the day the children all become my roadies and help me load the props back into the Henry-mobile! Fabulous. The afternoon was particularly fun, with loads of laughs and jokes around the stocks and a rip-roaring joust. Yet again the boys triumphed. Perhaps they have finally perfected the way of winning. The press came and took some photos and even one of the Governors had come in on his day off work to see how Henry was doing! Parkfield, you are wonderful and I salute a premier school!

I have had today at leisure (if that is how you can describe going shopping with a 3 year old) before tomorrow when I am up at the crack of dawn and heading off to Sutton in Surrey for a third return visit to St Cecillia's Roman Catholic School. And after that? The weekend has Father Christmas written all over it at Leeds Castle. See you there!

The picture above this time is also from the Christmas bash at Taunton Castle and shows the King this time just testing the cooking skills of the wenches on the hog roast. Just don't tell his Rabbi.

Back to Dunster

Today was a day to look forward to as I was to return for the third year to one of my favourite schools - Dunster, near Minehead. Every year when I go back I am always heartily welcomed by the teachers, head teacher and the fabulous kids they get at this school, and this year was no exception. The day did start badly. I woke up in daylight, something I should not have been seeing as I set my alarm desperately early as usual. I had overslept and it was almost 7.30am when I awoke and I had promised Dunster I would be with them by 8.30am. I got ready quickly and shot out the door. My sat nav still reckoned I had a good chance of being at Dunster by 8.45am. It had reckoned without Taunton. The place was gridlocked. By the time I had got out the other side of the town my sat nav reckoned my arrival time was more like 9.15am. In the end, with much screaming, acceleration and verbal badinage with various other drivers I managed to get to Dunster by 9.00am. I set up and got changed in about two seconds flat and then was on. The kids were just fabulous as usual. Such a fantastic group to work with, they laughed at all the jokes, had great Tudor knowledge and just wanted more, more, more! After another memorable lunch of stir fry chicken noodles and rice pudding ( in seperate bowls I hasten to add), it was on with the afternoon. The jousting was great and a real surprise was the gents winning yet again. All this and I got paid on the day as well. The drive home through Taunton wasn't nearly as awful, but the weather was.

This evening I am off over to Dinnington to see Matthew Applegate from Barrington Court again, and then tomorrow I am over to another favourite of mine, Parkfield Junior in Taunton. See you there.

Hope you like the pic above - it was taken at the Christmas bash at Taunton Castle recently and goes to prove that Henry only liked a nice cup of tea and absolutely nothing stronger than that. Honest.

Nelson Primary in East Ham

Friday morning dawned in Essex and I was due for a relatively early start with a belt down to Leeds Castle in Kent to try on my Father Christmas outfit for my imminent appearances! I drove down the A12 to the M25 to be greeted to the sight of virtually static traffic heading south and dot matrix boards indicating that there was "Congestion Junctions 28-3" - i.e. right across the Dartford Crossing and into Kent. If I was to get to Leeds Castle and then back up to East Ham by 1pm, I should have left about 2 hours before. I abandoned the idea very early, headed back to my parents' and phoned Darlene at the castle to explain the situation. She was fine about it. She said she would leave the costume in her office and I could pop in and try it on the following day (Saturday) on my way back to Somerset.

So, at about midday I began my drive up to East Ham. Now this was a real throw back for me as getting on for 20 years ago, I worked for the London Borough of Newham in their education department (Hello Caroline Lewendon! Hello Steve Newman! Hello Anne Edwards! Hello Maureen Pammen! etc etc) and had some dealings with Nelson Primary School, the school I was due to visit. I found the place very easily and soon found myself welcomed into a warm and cosy staff room and plied with cups of tea. The children had put together a Tudor banquet day and I was their guest of honour. I was very glad to be there! After getting changed into my Henry gear I was brought up to the top hall where a trumpeter heralded my arrival on the red carpet. The children broke out into spontaneous cheering which was WONDERFUL! All the teachers had dressed up as Tudors, as had the children. They all looked fabulous, some of the lady teachers looking particularly nice, I must say...! I sat on my specially built throne and fielded questions from the 150+ pupils, which was good fun. We then progressed down to one of their lower halls for the banquet itself. I wandered round the tables answering questions and playing music for the guests with my instruments. Then there was more entertainment - a series of musical pieces written and arranged by the children themselves, which were really great, then some fine Tudor dancing and a bit more home made music. It was all truly wonderful and I thanked the children for all the effort they had put in with the music, costumes, dance - everything! A really wonderful and magical afternoon. Thank you, Nelson Primary!

In the evening I drove up to Danbury near Chelmsford to meet my old friends Mick Stephenson and Deborah Dixon at the Bell Pub which is now run by Deb's sister, and another old mate of mine, Lesley. It was really nice to see them all again. Mick was, as ever, great company - this man I can safely say was the finest wicket keeper I have ever seen play. A natural. Deb and Lesley still looked as lovely as ever and it was nice to catch up with them all again after so many years. Lesley and her husband Peter were fine hosts. The Bell Inn in Danbury - by Royal Appointment. You heard it here first folks.

Saturday morning I drove back to Somerset via Leeds Castle. The Father Christmas costume was magnificent and I can't wait to start next Saturday! Before that I have visits to Dunster on Monday, Parkfield School in Taunton on Tuesday and St Cecillia's in Sutton on Thursday. Watch this space for more fun and frolics. Or something like that anyway.

Tatworth and Boxted (with some Bilbys thrown in)

More mileage on the car and a few more grey hairs. It must be another week of being Henry! My first visit of the week was to Tatworth School in South Chard, so nice and local to begin with. I had last visited Tatworth School about 18 months ago and to be honest I was racking my brains trying to recall anything about my previous visit. My main problem is that I do visit so many schools throughout the year (and I in no way wish to sound smug or demeaning to any school) but after a while, unless they are particularly memorable or outstanding they can somewhat blend into each other. However, as soon as I arrived at the gates of Tatworth it all began flooding back to me. All was there to remind me, the friendly teachers, the lovely kids and the great facilities. It was only a half day on this particular Tuesday, so I got my chance to do all my favourite bits, the talk about Henry’s life, the stocks and some jousting. It was a fine jousting session and for once the Gents walked away with it. It was nice to be back and I hope to return to this lovely school at some point soon.
Wednesday was spent with my son as my wife was at work, so I took him into Yeovil as I needed to get a Father Christmas beard and wig for my forthcoming appearances in this role at Leeds Castle. We later drove over to Ilminster for lunch at Bilby’s and I once again nagged Tris into sending me the photos from our banquet at the County Museum to put on the website. Thankfully his lovely daughter Emma forwarded the pics to me this evening and so once I am back in Somerset, aka the Land of the Living, I shall send them on to Steve French and he can amend the website.
Wednesday evening I drove to Essex for an appearance today at Boxted School near Colchester. I last appeared at Boxted again, about 18 months ago, but my how things have changed. Gone is the sweet little Victorian School House down the wee muddy lane and is now replaced with a state of the art school with massive rooms, an atrium and ample parking. Lovely! It was nice to be back again. I had forgotten just what a nice place Boxted was and also how nice all their teachers and teaching assistants are. They are quite cruel to some of their staff, locking them in cupboards and making them create costumes for children’s shows for a start! They are also one of the very few schools I know of that possess a caretaker who looks like Daryl Hannah and Sharron Davies rolled into one! I think all schools should have one of these! The day was a real belter. Lovely kids, great staff, a passable lunch and lots of laughs. We finished with another great jousting session and once again the boys triumphed. This could become a habit you know…
Had a nice email this evening from Hazeldene School who I visited some time ago saying that their pupils are doing an end of year show highlighting their favourite moments of the year gone by, and they have chosen my visit as the main highlight of their year. Ah, bless! Tomorrow I am down to Leeds Castle for a costume fitting for my Father Christmas gear and then I am off to Nelson Junior in East Ham for a banquet. I should be back in Somerset sometime on Saturday. And so to bed!

Modbury and Hadleigh - Cross Country

Before I beging this addition to the Blog, can I just put it on record that I adore my job. I am very very lucky to be something for a living which is fun, silly and allows me to act like an 8 year old. However, it does have one enormous draw back - the travel and distances that are sometimes involved. I normally try to negate this problem by ensuring that I have all shows in the same, roughly geographical area. So, if at the beginning of term I get someone booking me in Broadstairs in Kent, I will endeavour to push any other school from that same general area towards that date when, and if, they show an interest. However, it doesn't always work that smoothly, particularly if other people get involved in doing the bookings for you! I had already been booked for a little while to appear at Modbury Primary School. Modbury is a small town sort of half way between Buckfastleigh and Plymouth in South Devon. While I was away in Essex recently, my wife had taken a call from Hadleigh School in Southend-on-Sea in Essex who wanted me to come and visit very soon. Amanda had a quick look at my wall planner and managed to decipher my childish scrawl on the various dates. Sadly, for Modbury in Devon, she read Danbury in Essex. Therefore, to cut a long story mercifully short, instead of doing the show in Modbury and then heading home for an early night and a lie in the next morning, I had to leave Modbury, head for home, pack a suitcase, throw it in the car and then drive to Essex, then get up at the crack of dawn and head down to Hadleigh. In the end it wasn't too bad and both schools were so lovely it was well worth the mileage!

Starting at Modbury, I drove down the A38 and was delghted to discover that Modbury wasn't nearly as far west as I had been led to believe. It was a charming little town, quite hilly and the school was delightfully old fashioned and creaky! The children were fabulous, very keen to learn and full of enthusiasm for all things Tudor. I did the whole school in one shot, which basically means I won't be going back to that school as Henry for a few years as they have all seen the show! After a lovely lunch of gammon and roast potatoes it was back for the afternoon and the usual noise and nonsense. For a nice change the boys won the jousting, and this after I had predicted to the teachers that the girls were bound to win! I packed up and headed for home. When home I got a suitcase together and struck out for Essex at about 6pm. I arrived at my parent's house just after 9pm.

The next morning I was up and off to Hadleigh Junior School. This was another fine day, very kind friendly teachers and some challenging, excitable and bouncy pupils. I even had a nice chicken sandwich bought for me by my most charitable hosts. After a slightly fractured afternoon (we had to break for an afternoon break as well as a morning break) the day culminated in a great jousting tournament that the ladies simply walked away with. The gentlemen proved themselves to be true gentlemen by congratulating the ladies on their victory and shaking hands afterwards. Well done gentsI have had a couple of days off now, but I will be back as Henry on Tuesday next week, beginning with a half day at Tatworth School near Chard. Then I am up to Essex again for a visit to Boxted near Colchester, a quick visit to Leeds Castle for a fitting of my Father Christmas costume and then on to East Ham and Nelson Primary for a Tudor Banquet! Lovely

The Maynard again

Today I was due for another return visit, this time to The Maynard School in Exeter. The Maynard is a very old private school for girls. I had last visited here back in about March 2006 and I was looking forward to going back. I was very warmly greeted by the new Head Teacher of the Junior School, who even better still proved himself to be a worthy roady! Then I met up with Keagh again, the charming lady from my last visit. It was so nice to see her again, and also to see her "blossoming" so well - nearly eight months gone! The last time I visited we had a very small group of about 15 young ladies, but today we had two classes together, so there was something like 30 today. It was a good day all round. The young ladies certainly knew their stuff about the Tudors, especially one young lady called Catherine who proved to be a font of all knowledge! It was even rumoured that Noel Edmonds' daughter was in my group, but I resisted the temptation to do any "Deal or No Deal" gags.

After a fine lunch it was on to the stocks and jousting. I resisted the temptation to put either of the teachers in the stocks, firstly because Keagh was so heavily pregnant and secondly as I hardly knew Miss Bacon, the other teacher and didn't want to upset her!

Being an all girls school, the ladies inevitably won the jousting! And I got paid, a rarity these days! Thank you The Maynard, a fine day all round. Tomorrow - Modbury and then a trudge up to Essex...

Christmas Lights - Taunton

Sunday and I was back at The Somerset County Museum at Taunton Castle for a Tudor Christmas Experience! Some wonderful flyers and posters with my ugly mug on them had been plastered around the town and were being liberally distributed amongst the good people of Taunton by a Jester! I was due on for three talks during the day as usual, plus a few bits of wandering about and chatting to people. Also adding to the fun was some Tudor crafts for people to have a bash at, the alms house people were showing off their Tudor lifestyles, we had a hog roast in the main courtyard of the Castle and various volunteers selling mulled wine, mince pies and selling raffle tickets, with prizes that included signed copies of some of Mick Aston's books from the other night. To add to the fun we also had "Sparky the Somerset Dragon" in attendance, and he was going down a storm with the kids all day.

My first talk went pretty well and we had a pretty hefty turn out - but nothing compared to the second show. Simply masses and masses of people, many of them lined up on the balcony overlooking the area in which I was speaking. It went really well, everyone seemed to enjoy it, and I am pleased to say the applause at the end was relatively deafening and went on for some time! Wonderful. The final group was hard work as I was getting tired by now, added to which they were quite quiet. My wife and son turned up again, but as James has the attention span of a mayfly I didn't see much of them! I finished, said goodbye to all the usual lovely people at the Museum, including Steve Minnett again, Carrie Blogg, Barry, Teddy and everyone else, and then hurried home. My wife and I were thinking of going to see the lights switched on for Christmas, but we were too tired for words, so we went home instead! To cap a good day, I then went and got some fish and chips for the evening, and most welcome they were!

Tomorrow, I am at The Maynard in Exeter again, but then off to Modbury in Devon for my first visit to a new school. Should be fun!

Time Team and Mick Aston

This has been a great evening. I had tickets for a talk Professor Mick Aston of the Channel 4 series "Time Team" was giving at the Wellsprings Leisure Centre in Taunton. This was to raise money for the Somerset County Museum appeal. A very good cause. I was going with my wife, Amanda, and friends Matthew Applegate and his lovely wife Sue. However, due to a lack of babysitter on our behalf, Amanda couldn't attend.

I was really looking forward to this evening as I had met Professor Aston before, back in about 2000 after he gave a talk at an Archaeology Group in Southend in Essex. I had been fortunate enough to have dinner with him afterwards and then drive him back to his hotel, which somehow I found after getting lost for what seemed a lifetime.

His talk this evening was about "Time Team" and generally the background of the show, how it gets made and what to expect from the new series. He did a question and answer session at the end. Then he hung around and signed books for people and chatted nicely. I waited my turn to talk to him. While I was waiting I was recognised by a few people as Henry VIII which was nice, and one lovely lady who thanked me for the show I did at Archbishop Cranmer school and also for the nice things I had said about the school in this very blog! Well, I shall continue saying them, as I love Archbishop Cranmer school!

Finally, I got a chance to talk to Mick, and believe it or not, he actually remembered me from that meal in Essex all those years ago. He reckoned the curry he'd had that evening was one of the best he'd ever had! I let him have some of my Henry leaflets and he assured me he would get them to the right people at Channel 4 and should they be doing a Tudor Time Team soon, I would be hearing from them. Music to my ears! He even gnashed his teeth and wailed at the fact that I hadn't been available when they had filmed at Richmond Palace and Greenwich! So did I...

Matthew, Sue and I stopped at the Royal Oak at Barrington for a couple of beers and then it was on home. A lovely evening!

Knightwood Junior School, Chandlers Ford

After two days being ill with a thick cold and early nights, it was back on the treadmill again today. Up bright and early... well, early anyway, and then off down towards my old work place of Southampton and the town of Chandler's Ford and my return visit to Knightwood Junior School there. It was a fairly awful journey down, loads of traffic and I didn't actually get to the school until just after 8.30am. I was welcomed with a cup of tea and given my own changing room, which was nice, despite it having glass walls on nearly all sides! Thank God for blinds. It was a nice group today, 61 children, most of whom were very quiet. Some of their knowledge of the Tudors was remarkably good considering they had only started studying them after the recent half term break. The afternoon went very well, with the stocks proving very popular. The final jousting tournament was won by the Ladies - AGAIN! How is it they win nearly all the time? I am sure some scientific boffin somewhere could tell me that.

Back home this evening and taking it easy. I read up on the Bales Worldwide website from Amanda Nickerson, the MD of the company from the corporate bash last week. On her on line diary she wrote the following:

"This year we chose a medieval theme as we are aware that travellers coming to the UK, love our history, We had fire eaters, jugglers, magicians, harp music and the great man himself King Henry VIII who I have to say you had to a take a double take on as he really did look like the original man !! "

What does she mean, look like the original man?? I AM the Original Man! But thank you anyway for your ringing endorsement.

Tomorrow night I am in Taunton to see Mick Aston of Time Team fame and then I am back at the Museum in Taunton on Sunday for the Christmas launch there! Should be fun!

Cold

The King has been struck down! This is no Battle of Hastings scenario - this is a coughing, sniffing and snot scenario... One of the only draw backs of this fabulous job I am lucky enough to do, is that with all the schools I visit and the children I meet, I catch cold after cold after cold. Since September I seem to have had either a chest infection or a sniffle of some sort or other. But it was bound to get worse, and I am now struck down with a full blown, proper cold. Temperature, cough, sore throat, dizziness and more snot. Horrible. Thank God for the wonderful invention of Lemsip. It may not cure it, but by God it makes you feel better. An early night last night, another one tonight and I should be OK for the trip to Chandler's Ford in Hampshire tomorrow morning. Sniff. Sneeze. Wheeze. Pass the Lemsip...

St Teresa's, Bales Worldwide, Robert Kett and Wickford!

This has been an incredible week. I started on Tuesday, driving up to Essex to stay with my parents as I was doing a load of visits and schools in Essex/East Anglia. Things kicked off on Wednesay morning at St Teresa's Roman Catholic School in Basildon. I am always a little wary of going into a Roman Catholic School dressed as Henry VIII as it is tantamount to going to a Vegan Society Meeting dressed as a Cumberland Whirl. I had no need to worry and was welcomed very warmly by a lovely group of teachers who were all dressed up to the nines. The children in the group were fantastic as well, full of laughter and ready to roar on the participants in the jousting. The day finished with the inevitable triumph of the ladies team. Now where I would normally have just gone home and put my feet up, tonight was a bit different. I was due up at 2, Temple Place in London for a corporate event for Bales Worldwide, a very posh travel group. The journey up was awful. My dear father drove me up, but where the 20+ mile journey should have taken about 40 minutes, it was nearer an hour and a half. Just as we were approaching the place I got a panicked phone call from Emma from the agency who had booked me, desperate to know where I was. Luckily for me, all the guests were similarly held up in the gridlocked London streets. Temple Place is gorgeous, a large Victorian Gothic pile, once owned by the Astors and full of high ceilings, pannelled walls and massive fire places. Bales were entertaining their agents from their far flung resorts, and I was soon to be rubbing shoulders with people from the likes of Bhutan, Nepal, Mongolia and Kyrgyszstan (or however the hell you spell it!). My initial job was to stand at the front door with two comely wenches (one of who was from Hungary!), two heralding trumpeters and two jesters juggling with fire (one of who was Stuart Fell, well known to all us Doctor Who fans as "that bloke in the plastic bubble wrap in The Ark in Space"). As each guest arrived they would get a fanfare of trumpets and a welcoming shout from Henry, they would then have to pose for some shell-shocked looking photos before being whisked inside for a drink and a calm down. I was then brought inside for some more posing photos before my job as announcer for the evening cut in. I had to announce dinner, the speeches, that the men could remove their jackets (but not their trousers), and also to tell everyone to clear off at the end. It was a fun evening and we were treated royally by the agents and Bales Worldwide. One of the guests, who just for a second I thought was my old mate Mike Clarke from Skandia Life, came up to me at the opening reception and said in a very smooth, Etonian accent: "So you're supposed to be Henry VIII are you?" I announced that I was. "And I suppose during the day you're just some boring little office oik from somewhere ghastly like East Cheam, aren't you?" I bristled a little.

"No, I am Henry VIII full time..." He blanched.

"Really? What you travel all round the world doing this full time?"

"Yes" I lied a little. "And what do you do?" I enquired.

"I work in an office..." he said tamely, and wandered off. One nil to Henry. I finally left at about 11.30pm. A lovely friend of my father's Ralph Hayden picked me up in his car (his wife Jean was with him) and they drove me home to my parents. Ralph works as a professional driver, so please don't think I was exploiting him too much!

After getting to bed at after midnight, it was a bit of a shock when my alarm went off at 5.45 am. I was on my way to Wymondham in Norfolk and my third visit in three years to Robert Kett Junior School. I love going to Robert Kett as they are all so nice and welcoming there. The journey up was awful with a bad accident in Long Stratton holding me up for half an hour and nearly making me very late. But the kids were wonderful as ever, the teachers as welcoming as ever (Natasha my usual host there was off on maternity leave, so hello Natasha and new little girl!) and the food delicious! The King was very pleased. The costumes were absolutely stunning this year, but then Robert Kett school always seems to have some of the best costumes. A very quick afternoon session ended with another victory for the girls in the jousting.

Friday I was at another school I hadn't visited before - Wickford Junior in...er...Wickford. This was another superb day. About 90 children, all really excited and up for it. Three lovely teachers, all in splendid costumes and a nice lunch of spaggy bol! I shall return, if they want me of course. The finale at the jousting was amazing, as the boys won! Now that really was a red letter day. I stopped on the way back from the school in Billericay to pay some cheques into my account, and I am due to drive back to Somerset tomorrow morning (Saturday). My next Henry is due at Chandlers Ford in Hampshire near Southampton on Tuesday. Another return visit which I am looking forward to. Have a nice weekend everyone!

Leeds Castle and Whiz Bangs...

A very nice if somewhat peculiar day occurred on Saturday. I mean apart from the usual horrendous loss by Manchester City, I don't think I can recall a Saturday like it. I woke up at my usual sort of time, 7am, and pottered about a bit. I then loaded the car with my Henry gear and headed up the old A303. I was off to Leeds Castle in Kent - again! But this was with a slight difference from normal.

The journey to Kent was easy and I soon arrived at my sister's house in Stockbury, near Sittingbourne, and had a nice cup of tea and a chat with her and her husband, Julian. She cooked me a lovely lunch of chicken enchilladas, a quick tour of all the house work they are having done and then I was off over to Leeds Castle itself. I was to help out at a Fireworks Party being held in the main castle. A large company had hired the castle and had invited various clients and their children for a days entertainment, culminating in a firework display attended by the general public as well - and there were 1,000's of them there already when I arrived! I got changed in the estate office as usual and was then whizzed in an open top golf buggy up to the main castle. This was the most frightening part of the day as the man driving me obviously reckoned he was Michael Schumacher and I had nothing to hold on to, including my dignity. My main job at the do was to meet and greet people at the front door of the castle as they arrived. After battling past me inside was a veritable Aladdin's cave of goodies and fun for the kids. There were rows of Sega car and motorbike racing games that the children could play for free, face painting and henna hand designs, oodles of good food, a cool jazz quartet in the old library and an amazing magician and balloon artist. I started at 2pm and was allowed to go by 4.30pm as the children and their families were off to watch the main firework display. Therefore, after getting changed I was on my way back to Somerset by 5pm and home by 7.30pm. It didn't really feel like I had been to Kent and back at all!

I had a nice relaxing Sunday, pausing only to watch Torchwood and throw buckets of icy water over my wife everytime Captain Jack Harkness appeared on the screen, and so on to this week. Tomorrow (Tuesday) I drive to Essex to stay with my parents. On Wednesday I am at St Theresa's School in Basildon in the day and in the evening I am at 2, Temple Place for a corporate do. Thursday I am up bright and early and off to Robert Kett Junior again in Wymondham, and on Friday I am at Wickford Junior in...er...Wickford. Exhausting and fun. Which is how my wife reckoned Captain Jack Harkness might be.

Archbishop Cranmer - the school not the man...

This was a nice return visit for me. I hadn't been to Archbishop Cranmer School in Taunton since September 2004, so it was nice to get back to them. I had fond memories of my previous visit and was looking forward to seeing Tracy, the teacher I deal with there, again. I arrived smack on time and walked up to the main office to announce myself. The nice lady in the office gave me a swipe card so I could get into the school gym as that was where I was to spend my day. I began setting up my stuff. I heard the approach of footsteps and two people came in - one was Sally, a lovely lady who on my previous visit was unfortunate enough to have her foot in plaster and was unable to really join in the whole thing. Today she was back on top form and dressed as Anne Boleyn, complete with the obligatory green sleeves. She was accompanied by a nice small lady dressed as a fine Tudor wench. That was a fine sight for a King first thing on a frosty morning! What I failed to realise until it was almost time for me to leave was that this tiny wench was in fact Tracy who I normally deal with! I didn't recognise her! She has lost some weight and changed her hairstyle and that combined with the wench costume fooled me completely - Tracy, if you are reading this, many many apologies! You looked great!

The day went swimmingly. I have been suffering of late with a sprained ankle, but have been giving it regular treatments of ibuprofen to stop any swelling and that, combined with an ankle support saw me through the day fine.

The kids group were great - it was years 3 and 4 and they were wonderful. Really interested, very ready to laugh and had some great, if occasionally bizarre questions! We had a break in the morning for the children to take part in a song for worship assembly, but the rest of the day went as usual. The afternoon stocks session was very good and poor old Tracy got picked by the class to go in as the teacher who needed punishing. The jousting was a fine session. I picked a ladies team to help me with the demonstration before the racing in earnest began. They were very slow and didn't really seem to get it. I thought to myself that if these ladies win this tournament I would emigrate to Siberia. Well to be honest, I should be packing my bags for the long train to Tunguska region as somehow, against the odds, these ladies battled their way through the ladies championship to the grand final and then defeated the gentlemen's champs as well. Hats off to those ladies. A wonderful win!

I then packed up and headed for home, tired and happy. And by the evening my ankle was still feeling OK. So a good day all round. I am off to Leeds Castle tomorrow for a fireworks party! See you there I hope.